


Star of Jerusalem

by lindam2254



Category: Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
Genre: Action & Romance, Balian/OC, Crusades, F/M, Gen, Kingdom of Heaven (Movie), Other, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-02-24 20:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 150,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22083667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lindam2254/pseuds/lindam2254
Summary: Balian left to Jerusalem to find the only thing he anymore desired in his life; forgiveness. But he didn't foresee this journey to atonement to give him back everything he'd lost, or that his faith to God would be restored by a single act of kindness... Can two troubled souls of different worlds find their kingdom of heaven, possibly to share it? (Balian/OC)
Relationships: Almaric/Balian of Ibelin, Balian of Ibelin/Godfrey of Ibelin, Balian of Ibelin/OC, Balian of Ibelin/Sibylla of Jerusalem
Comments: 39
Kudos: 4





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> I marked the rating as Teen and Up, but since there are instances of this fic that border to a more mature territory, I chose to use some archive warnings and am mentioning it here...Majority of this fic is suitable for the teen rating, but some included depictions of war etc at times push it up to the mature content...So, be warned! I shall make a point of this at the beginning of said chapters!
> 
> I am in the process of editing this story, so it might take a while for it to be updated. I first wrote this story back in 2014/2015, and have once re-written it, but after leafing through it during the past years I've realized it to be in need of serious editing once more...So here's the prologue.

\- Outskirts of a small village, France 1184 -

Snow. It fell silently and lazily from the grey skies, landing on the woman’s face as she directed her eyes to stare up the twirl of them in the wind that pushed the cool snowflakes against her, the tiny specs playing around her until finally descending to decorate her dark lashes. Her blinking them away with a smile. Even she had been born to the heat of the deserts, she would truly come to miss this beautiful sight after leaving it, as she believed she would never again see snow in her life…As she was going home.

Her heart pounded for joy as the woman then straightened her posture at the delightful thought, gazing ahead. Her eyes soon briefly taking in her guards who had her surrounded, making headway along the road so that she wouldn’t try to run, but as if there even was a possibility for her to do that…For even if she would’ve had the means she did not wish to escape, because her whole future depended on her remaining an obedient prisoner with no intention of fleeing…And if she hadn’t been bought by notable sum of money a few months past, she wouldn’t have been sent to her homeland along with these men in the first place. So they were the only ones able to give her the opportunity to see her home again, only if she didn’t flee. Besides she had nothing to run away from. This was her life. Had been the last 10 years, and she had accepted it long ago, knowing she had nothing better to expect. So was it wrong to enjoy even simple sight of snowfall? No. She had learnt to store even slight moments of happiness into her memories, to give her strength when everything else seemed hopeless. Only that way she could fend in this wretched prison, which her existence had formed into over each elapsed year.

She heard the shackles rounding her wrists jingle as she then lifted herself higher, detecting a small village not far away from the road they followed. It had not many houses, not more than 30 or 40 with straw ceilings, but what dominated the scenery was the great castle of a landlord who obviously governed these lands as his own. The woman let her eyes round the village and she smiled slightly, seeing the goats and other animals wander about the lands, chased by children whose laughter was the only sign of life to invigorate this frozen scenery. It was quite idyllic place, even being so small, situated in middle of the wintry countryside which surely reached its full bloom when spring would arrive anew. Lives in this region must’ve been peaceful…

The woman heard her guards discuss it to be wise for them to fill their waterskins at that village. She of course stayed silent as a captive she was, one of the men now handing her a cloak to cover herself, as it was customary when they arrived to places with people. The men did not want anyone to see her. And obviously she said nothing against. Just put on the cloak, covering her head with the hood and her rich robes with the coarse grey fabric, hiding her form from the curious eyes of the villagers. She felt relief. She wished for a moment of rest after sitting on the saddle the whole day and half of the last night, causing her muscles to turn sore.

The men now directed their horses to the road leading to the village, riding toward it. The woman following right in middle of them, letting her gaze wander from under the large hood which shadowed her face completely, giving her the possibility to examine the townspeople they then begun to pass as crossed the village. All those men, women and children they came across giving the group curious gazes as they continued, the woman looking back at them from the shadows darkening her features. Breaking into a smile once she saw a small child accidentally trip down into a puddle of mud.

Soon she noticed one, a more separated building from the rest of the village come to sight. Well it wasn’t a house, but she reckoned it was used as a workshop of some kind, and whoever had the responsibility of it seemed to live in an actual farmhouse a little farther away from the shop, which was situated on top of a small hilltop. And closer they rode the woman was able to hear the echoes of metal being hammered, the wind carrying the sound to her ears, and she then understood the building they were nearing to be a blacksmith’s shop.

The first three men of the group directed their steeds next to the shop, the woman stopping just behind them, as the rest of the three stayed at the tail of her white mare. Waiting, as then abruptly the loud and audibly intense pounding came to a stop and a young boy stepped forth from under the partially open shop’s roof, hold up by sturdy beams, looking up to the arrived group with a quizzical expression. The leader of the woman’s captors nodding towards the boy at the sight of him.

“Where’s your master?” he inquired, the boy glancing behind him. New sound of clanging metal then cutting the air as whatever had been worked on was shoved aside, before a man now arrived by the boy’s side. His own countenance rather indifferent while he eyed back at the stranger who had apparently asked for him, shadows of numerous sleepless nights and unspoken torment under his vacant eyes that studied the man before briefly taking in the rest of the riders.

“Are you master of this shop?” the leader of the captors questioned. The younger blacksmith’s expression not changing from that nonchalant and crestfallen, but he nodded briskly, however not talking. Bypassing his silence the stranger now pulling out his waterskin, throwing it to the assistant boy.

“We need water. We have to get going on our journey, but have run out”, he continued, dismounting, until took out a pouch of money and handed a couple of coins to the assistant. “I pay extra. If you’d sent your apprentice to get us some water we’d be grateful. After that we go from bothering a man at work.”

The blacksmith measured these six strangers with his brown, somewhat dead eyes, devoid of close to all expression aside for that bottomless vacuity that told of clear grief. But his interest wasn’t awoken until his gaze focused on a person sitting on top of a white mare in middle of these men, not being able to tell what he looked like as his whole being had been covered with a worn out grey cloak. However once the blacksmith next examined the mysterious figure more he took notice of the delicate hands, smooth and a pair which hadn’t seen even one day of work that clasped around the horse’s reins. Woman’s hands. The blacksmith now frowning a little at his discovery where the animal then let out a few low neighs, stomping on her place restlessly, while the cloaked rider didn’t even turn to look at the blacksmith to acknowledge him. Just stared forward after soothing the animal with a couple of calming strokes.

The master of the shop then waved at his apprentice and without a word sent him to get the requested provisions. And soon the boy came, after delivering the barrel of water fetching some cups and filled them, offering them to the men who drank earnestly before starting to fill their waterskins. The blacksmith following their actions what else but inexpressively, but his attention was ultimately drawn back to the cloaked rider who simply sat still, not moving in an attempt of drinking with the others. But just as the six strangers finished filling their flasks, there was quite a strong gust of cold wind, the blacksmith next watching with his dull eyes as it shook the heavy cloak, without however revealing the features of this woman against his expectations. Instead covering everything within miles with those fragile snow crystals, which had begun to pour down not long before as a promise of the forthcoming frost distinctive for that time of year.

The blacksmith eyed at the cloaked person in a quick moment of wonder, until waved at his assistant again, who arrived after filling another cup with water and then handed it to his master. The six men stiffening as they then followed the blacksmith to direct his earlier completely expressionless eyes, but which now had a hint of curiosity in them, up to the mounted woman. Stepping closer while coming to a halt beside the horse, him measuring the hood covered head once more, being able to see only the tip of lashes from behind it. Rest of her guarded traits still closely concealed from him.

It was odd, but at that moment he would’ve wanted to pull away that hood to expose who that woman was…As there was no doubt this rider to be a female when the blacksmith now discerned the hands holding the reins better, them indeed being hands of a lady. Not scratched or worn from working…However finding them strangely tanned to this kind of environment, but as said delicate all the same, nails painted and well cared for.

He found it peculiar that the woman didn’t turn even now at his presence, but simply shifted her fingers, him however hearing then a small jingle due to the subtle movement. And as his eyes dropped he noticed an edge of a shackle peek from under the woman’s sleeve, creating confusion in him, until disregarding the fact he then politely offered the cup to her.

“My lady”, he greeted, smiling slightly. But it was forced and only polite. Smiling felt unnatural to him now…Meaningless.

As he waited for the woman to respond the blacksmith then allowed his eyes to examine the mare, taking notice of the gold decorating the reins. Could this woman be a noble concealed under that common, poor cloak of a traveler? That however not giving any implication for the need of the apparent manacles on her person…While his impassive mind mulled over this thought the woman accepting the given drink, her still not turning to him either now.

The blacksmith oversaw in equal wonder as this faceless woman raised the cup and drank, instantly returning it back to him when empty, not saying a word either. Not even a small word of thank you. However as he took a hold of the wooden chalice again to claim it, he felt how the woman’s palm pressed against his momentarily, the fleeting touch of her cool fingers making him gasp. But once he then gazed up to her he could sense her gratitude even through that single wordless gesture, before the small hand retreated from his calloused hardel and took a hold of the reins again. The woman still not granting him a glance.

“Thank you”, the leader of the group then hurried to say. Nodding at the blacksmith, before quite hastily mounted his horse. “Thanks to you we can carry on. May God be with you.”

The rest of the strangers now followed his example by mounting their own steeds, where the young blacksmith only gave a brisk nod in response. Not bothering to show his given incredulity when it came to that common belief whole Christianity was built on, the same nonchalant expression returning on his mien as he then turned around. No. As it seemed God had abandoned him, regardless of the fact that he like others, was His child. But despite of that ironically he had not yet received any kind of guidance from the Almighty Father in his own personal ordeal that currently plagued him, which pretty much was challenging his very faith in Him.

So in these somber ponders the blacksmith walked back inside his shop to continue working. Because of this however him failing to see as the cloaked head, which so far had been strictly directed forward now did turn a tad. The dark eyes of the woman giving his separating back a smiling gaze, before she encouraged the mare after the first two guards with a soft cluck of tongue. And so this group of strangers left the blacksmith shop to continue their journey, riding against the sluggish, but still quite mordant blizzard of the early winter.

On their way the woman soon spotted three men lounging beside a big cross placed on the plains, wrapped body laying on the frozen ground next to them, while two of them were digging a grave. The woman frowning sadly as she rode past them, beholding the burial and witnessed a face of a female to peek from the covers, pale and her lips blue in death. A suicide, buried at a crossroads. In compassion the woman turning her eyes away from the distressing sight, reciting a short, silent prayer for the deceased’s lost soul, while the three men stared at her and her escort as they passed. One of them a priest, the woman concluded.

“Crap”, suddenly the leader of the woman’s captors said, something at the distance claiming his attention, as he came to a momentary stop in middle of the hill. “Crusaders.”

All men now halted as they and the woman indeed saw how a small group of knights of the Holy war approached, riding down the hill they were ascending, dressed in their armor and weapons in all their glory. But despite of the obvious sense of valor that had attached itself to this entourage, they looked intimidating. The woman eyeing at them and not long after her gaze finding one man in particular who seemed quite superior to the others. He was a lord, most likely. Someone of clear importance.

“Let’s get the hell away from here”, one other of her captors mused, nervous. “We just have to get her out of this country as quickly as possible, and I’d rather not have any clashes with crusaders. They are dangerous folk to engage with.”

And so they carried on, passing the other small caravan of men as they went down the road instead, heading for the village the group of six had just departed. The woman not shifting her gaze from the scenery ahead to look at the crusaders, but the eyes of the man she had presumed as their lord did turn to examine her as curiously as the young blacksmith’s had not but a moment ago. And as the fleeting encounter had passed, one of his men leant towards him, suspicious of the strange air coming off of them.

“My lord, who might’ve those people been?” the English sergeant asked, the lord mulling over his question a moment until bypassed it.

“Just travelers. Nothing more.”

Back at his shop the young blacksmith once more drowned his sorrow into work. Grasping the piece of metal he’d been previously working on, and continued to mold it after keeping it in the hot furnace a moment. His apprentice still standing outside, watching after the strangers who were now galloping out of sight after passing another group of people currently approaching the village. But just as he also was about to return to the warmth of the smithy, something flew against his leg, brushing it. And as he looked down he saw a silky scarf flutter in the wind at his feet, the rich colors and the print of it telling him no one in that village to possibly own it. Him picking it up in realization before turned, going inside over to his master, the said man however not taking much interest in him or his discovery.

“This was on the ground. The lady dropped this, master”, the boy said, the blacksmith stopping his working relunctantly to give the scarf a brief glance. In the end him only turning his eyes away impassively.

“One of them was a woman, wasn’t she?” the boy specified.

“Run after them and return the scarf to the lady”, the blacksmith simply instructed, curtly, continuing to pound the metal bar into favorable shape.

“They are too far master”, the boy replied, the blacksmith once again stopping and lowering the hammer. Saying nothing, but then just sighed and took the scarf from the boy, dismissing him with a nod. The boy going back to his chores, where the blacksmith was in turn left to examine the scarf of exceedingly fine material, taking in the grand details of it. It seemed that she would never have it back…

He pushed the scarf in his pocket, leaving it out of his mind, and once again continued working himself. As long as new neighs of horses soon stole his attention and his apprentice once again stopped his doings, staring outside where another number of horsemen were swiftly approaching. The blacksmith cursing in his mind. How many would there be passing by today? Again sighing him then putting on a jacket to warm himself against the chilly wind before walked forth to receive this second lot of strangers, seeing his brother race to the scene out of breath, pointing straight at him.

“That is the man… That is the man”, his brother announced, glancing behind at the apparent crusaders he had been escorting, until all eyes turned over to the blacksmith. The man in question having a thoughtful look in his eyes for a moment until his interest was soon replaced by the same deadpan expression. Well, who might these men be?


	2. The Veiled Woman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will mention separately when the time comes, but some chapters will naturally include violence, as all who have seen the movie are aware. But nothing too shocking or too brutal I hope, even after the modifications. I've just tried to maintain the storyline as authentic as possible. First such chapter rated M is this one :)  
> The themes of this story might be rather grim to some, but rest assured, my story's rating is somewhere between T and M, because the content of it is hard to define and cannot be placed under either of these categories. All religious and historic quotes and references in addition to the settings have been incorporated and written by an amateur using simple internet as a source material, so the accuracy of the terms etc might differ, simply suited for the needs of this story. All meanings of the Arabic names and from them concluded words might as well be inaccurate.

_**\- the following morning -** _

The small group of crusaders heard the approaching gallop of hooves behind them, their leader ordering them to halt. The pace of the following horse not fast to be considered threatening, but still wary the group of men turned, riding behind the curve of the road until they would know the identity of the incoming rider…Although their leader had a hunch of who the comer was.

The nearing rider stopped his steed, gazing at the appeared entourage of men through the light snowfall that had continued to fall throughout the night. With a severe expression Balian then watching as one of them, the man who had revealed himself as a lord and his father the day before, begun to ride to the front to receive him.

“Wait here!” Godfrey ordered before riding over to his son, after a slight hesitation Balian soon encouraging his own horse to meet with Godfrey’s. Both of the animals slowing down into a walk, eventually stopping as the pair faced each other. Godfrey measuring his son thoughtfully, tint of humor in his eyes.

“Have you come to kill me?” he questioned, locking gazes with Balian. “Even these days it is not easy. Well?”

Godfrey inclined his head in wonder, studying his son’s features to find the reason why he had after all come despite of outright refusing to join them the last they’d seen each other. Balian instead casting his gaze down, consumed by some gloomy thought, until his eyes rose and his horse now sauntered beside his father’s. Godfrey taking quick notice of his left hand, which was squeezed into a tight fist against his chest, but the older man cast his wonder aside as waited for his son’s answer. At first Balian not daring to meet with his father’s eyes, until after a brief delay he then finally spoke.

“I have done…” he started, his mien shadowed by that same guilt-ridden feeling that was clearly eating him away, his voice downcast. Him exchanging a brief look with Godfrey until cringed, regretful of his past actions from the night before once he then voiced out the reason that had driven him to come after the man he’d at first renounced...To flee. The amount of weight that one word had only adding to his already scathing conscience, close crushing him under it. “Murder.”

Despite his gloom and contrition Balian had a pondering look on his face, him looking up to his father again to witness his reaction to his sudden confession. But Godfrey, instead of renouncing him too now when he had reason for it, against the young blacksmith’s expectations seemed but indifferent to his deed.

“Haven’t we all?” was his diplomatic answer, his voice gentle, understanding. Balian turning now serious at the sound of it, although there had been a flicker of surprise in him when he wasn’t instantly judged by his father over his crime like he would’ve been by any normal person. Due to this Balian now feeling slight relief that eased his inner torment, but which still didn’t erase it.

“Is it true? That in Jerusalem I can erase my sins…and those of my wife…Is it true?” Balian inquired, his exterior softening for grief briefly due to the mention of his deceased wife, the reason for his committed sin to be atoned. Balian feeling the weight of his wife’s cross around his neck now more clearly, although the necklace didn’t weight nothing in itself. Just the memory of it did.

“We can find out together”, Godfrey replied encouragingly, clearly relieved himself to have his only son to indeed accompany him like he’d intended by coming to France. Balian staring down in silence, raising his gaze briefly to his father after a while until looked down again. Godfrey then tilting his head once more as a prompt as beckoned to Balian’s hand.

“Show me your hand”, he urged, Balian revealing his injured palm, which had been wrapped with a silky cloth. Godfrey nodding, although did frown slightly at the realization of the cloth used as bandage to be made from very good quality fabric, which very few commoners with small income could afford to obtain. In fact it being the scarf the mysterious woman had dropped and which Balian’s apprentice had found, and one he had used to cover the burn in his hurry to escape from his village. After inspecting the somewhat covered injury Godfrey turning his horse around.

“Come. We shall find a campsite and treat that wound of yours”, Godfrey continued with a hint of smile, before ushering his horse back over to the other awaiting men. Balian staying still for a brief moment in his thoughts, until came over the slight torn feeling that had plagued him ever since leaving his home and followed, slowly his horse making his way towards the men as well.

“It is good you have come”, the man who had requested of Balian’s hospitality the day before, the hospitaler, welcomed him. Also smiling as nodded to Balian. Balian saying nothing but returned the nod, and now with one more member included to their company the group then continued their journey along the road.

* * *

They didn’t have to ride long after the road they followed took them to the forest, and they soon discovered a wide clearing to make a camp at. Them stopping for a well earned break, preparing a fire to cook some food, while hospitaler begun to examine Balian’s hand. Him taking it in his, removing the hastily wrapped cloth around it, as well giving the fine silk scarf a quizzical look, before unveiled the burnt form of a small cross on Balian’s skin.

Hospitaler glanced at Balian who only sat in silence, staring into the forest around them. “How old is this wound?” he queried, Balian finally snapping his head around to look at him. The man seeing a flash of remorse in Balian’s eyes the short moment they locked with his until the young blacksmith gazed down.

“I got it last evening”, he responded. Hospitaler saying nothing at first, but after a moment of thinking nodded, reaching for his healing herbs.

“You are in luck. The burn is so fresh that there might be a chance for it to heal into new skin close to perfection”, hospitaler remarked while took something out of his bag. Balian simply nodding as a response, quite unheeding to his words as only turned away again, lost to his own private musings.

But then all of the men heard a neigh of horses from somewhere not far. Them all tensing and listening, soon also starting to hear murmur of speech, men talking. As well a small group of them conversing, and it surprised Godfrey’s entourage, since they hadn’t expected to meet up with any other traveling party so deep in the wilderness. Godfrey taking a couple steps towards the edge of the clearing, gazing into the direction of woods where the noises were coming from. His sergeant soon coming beside him, looking thoughtful.

“Trouble?” he questioned, glancing at his lord, but Godfrey didn’t answer. “Should we go see who these men are? Friends or foes?”

“There is no reason for anyone here to treat us as foes”, Godfrey finally said after a moment, but nevertheless revealed his sword. “…Or rather the other way around. But I reckon too much caution is not ill-advised on this occasion.”

All of the men now stood up, including Balian after he had wrapped his hand with the scarf again. And so they made their way to the edge of the clearing, moving forward silently as slipped between the trees, following the sounds of conversation until finally reached the outskirts of another glade a small distance away. And as they hid in the shadows they saw six men stand there, not soldiers although well clothed men, but still not noblemen. And after the crusaders measured them they recognized them as the same travelers they had met briefly a day ago at Balian’s home village.

There were the six horses the men had ridden with as well, tied to a fallen tree not far away. But what then made the men frown for confusion was a lone figure sitting at the other side of the clearing, shackled into a tree too. A woman clothed into expensive colorful fabrics of the rich, who sat still on her knees despite of the cold ground. The group of crusaders not being able to see her face that had been covered with a bright veil, but they concluded her gender by those vibrant clothes and small hands which were indeed bound together with the heavy chains.

Balian’s eyes widened slightly. That was the cloaked woman he had seen with those men. And she truly looked someone important as Balian now finally saw her appearance, that coarse grey cloak gone.

“These are the men we came across yesterday”, Odo noted.

“ _Who_ are these men?” the English sergeant questioned quietly, others wondering the same, remembering the faces of these six strangers. But then these men started to talk again, bringing their own silent exchange to a halt.

“Why was it essential to cross the border and enter the French soil just to deliver this woman to the buyer?” one of the men asked in annoyance, not particularly from anyone as took a sip from his water skin. Glancing at the sitting figure of a female.

“Because the route to Jerusalem is safer through the road of Messina”, one of his comrades with a heavy accent answered, also glancing at the woman. “And that pass starts from France, which is also most arcane way to supply the merchandise. And it was you who wanted to take a detour Dietrich, so that we wouldn’t run into those crusaders from yesterday!”

“Byer?” hospitaler stated in wonder. Godfrey turning very thoughtful as his eyes traveled between the men and the woman.

“It seems these men…” he said, others glancing at their lord. “…are not simple travelers. These men are human traders.”

The group turned serious now as they gazed at the men at the clearing. One of them letting out a laugh, grinning satisfied, now pointing at the woman who only sat silent. Not moving a muscle.

“This whore will bring us the money we need to retire!” he remarked. The men in hiding frowning again.

“Yes, but she isn’t indeed any regular prostitute!” his companion concurred. “Her blood is too fancy for that, Filip!”

“Right you are! We should respect her highness so much to remember who her father is! So we should be calling her more of a _courtesan_ , shouldn’t we? Not as such a lowly one as a simple hooker, but a high standard lover!” third one continued. He smiled mockingly, gazing at the veiled woman. “After all…she’s royalty. A princess!”

All six men laughed as gazed at their prisoner. The crusaders eyeing at them confused after listening to their conversation about this mysterious woman, who didn’t react at all to the words said about her. Just sat calm on her spot, not much as even twitching, staring proudly in front of her.

“It would seem these men are not simple men traders either”, hospitaler pointed out to his comrades, now also staring at the woman for a while. “But panderers.”

The group turned tense due to this realization, now understanding the mens' said words and the reason why that woman didn’t raise her voice to defend herself. She accepted the ridicule she was given, apparently because what they said was all true since this woman was…Many of the onlookers were disgusted, not because of the revelation concerning the woman’s identity, but due to the plain atrocity they were laying witness to. Transactions such as these men were about to go through were considered unlawful, to have been condemned by the Pope himself.

“Shouldn’t we save her?” sergeant asked, looking up to his lord as pulled out his sword halfway, quietly. “I myself will not let these men sell that woman if I can do something to interfere! This is vile.”

“Let us just wait”, Godfrey prompted calmly, everyone then continuing to keep an eye on the actions of the men, now more anxious due to the revealed details. The lastly spoken, their leader, then throwing away his water skin and took a few slow steps toward the prisoner.

“It only makes me wonder what she would feel like to love for a night…” he stated, examining the woman clear lust in his eyes. “What do you say if we find out why it is that the high ranking lords of the richest families are willing to pay such sums just to get her between their sheets?”

Now all of the six men turned to stare at the woman on the forest floor, as sly smiles rising on their lips and they begun to approach her. Slowly, taking their time to intimidate their victim. But now the woman finally turned her head, gazing at the men completely serene, not even a trace of fear in her eyes.

“My lord?” sergeant called, his frown deepening, the group tensing once again in their hiding while they watched the men approach the chained woman who wouldn’t be able to fight back or run. That was the purpose of those shackles, which locked her in place as an easy prey to her captors. Leaving her defenseless. Balian now also taking out his borrowed blade, ready to dash out if none of them would, for at least he wasn’t going to let those despicable men touch her.

The lastly spoken man now stopped, gazing down at the woman who was staring back at him through her lashes. Her gaze unyielding as the man returned it while wearing an arrogant smile, tilting his head and examined her, raising his brows.

“Do you fear me, **_Amira_**?" he questioned, to which the woman said nothing but her gaze was filled with pride, silent defiance. Her not breaking the stare with the man, capturing his attention with her eyes, while her hand slipped furtively within her robes, grabbing a hilt of a hidden dagger. One she had kept prepared and ready for a long time now, in case of something like this coming to pass, for she was not stupid. To have led this manner of life long enough to know the risks of it, the money paid for her doing little to protect her, but despite of that very disbursement precisely defining who she was she had long ago decided not to let that to give the likes of these men the entitlement to touch her…Allow them to soil her any further than she already had been…Not as long as she had that knife to spare her from that, for she might’ve ended up being many things…But the least of all resigned to become fully exploited with not an ounce of dignity left to speak otherwise.

The man simply smirked at her collected exterior as came over, then reaching down to remove the veil, to reveal the woman’s face not he or any of the other men had seen ever since departing from the far north. But the woman, while returning the man’s endless stare came close pulling out the dagger to use it, then spotted movement behind the men bearing down on her; forms stepping out of the forest, swords in their hands. And wonder only made a brief appearance in her irises before the sudden blow came, taking the six men by surprise.

Balian ran out of the forest, others following, and without a moment of hesitation they attacked the slave traders. But even though waylaid they quickly dispersed from the woman, trying to hurry to their horses to retrieve their own weapons at the shared realization of being attacked. But as indeed apperhanded they were, the crusaders defeated them with ease with not much resistance coming from the unprepared captors, and it didn’t take but a moment until all of the group laid on the ground dead…All except for their leader who had made the suggestion of assaulting their prisoner. Him half knelt on the ground defeated while still staring at the English sergeant with wide eyes, horrified, hold up by the said man from his collar. While his former opponent’s eyes, which were also looking straight into his, were only filled with contempt.

“Burn in hell”, sergeant bidded quietly with a icy glare, sharing one more scalding leer with the man until finally slayed him as well, the last of the vile men now gone. After the scoundrel was tossed to the side by the sergeant, him spitting on the body, casting one more hateful glower down at the lifeless man. “Scum.”

Now the brief, bloody scuffle over the men then immediately turned towards the veiled woman who was still sitting in the same position. Eyeing back at them, while her eyes revealed nothing. Not as much as reflecting surprise, or least fear, even she must’ve witnessed the whole thing. After examining the woman for a moment and seeing her unfazed reaction to the downright slaughter of her captors Hospitaler now stepping forth, kneeling before her, a soothing expression on his face…In case she truly was scared of them but didn’t simply show it.

“Are you alright, my lady?” he asked.

Hosptaler waited for the woman to respond, unaware was she able to understand him as a moment passed and she said nothing, but as he then examined the visible part of the face, meeting the eyes now gauging back at him, he had a realization. And the others who next were also confronted with the gaze of those strong, deep eyes of hers rounded by dark make-up felt themselves stiffen to their spots under the same understanding...of her nationality.

 **“She’s a Saracen!”** Firuz, a crusader with dark complexion breathed in awe, in his native. All of the men gawking at those intriguing eyes which stared back at them fearless, the woman not reacting in any way, nor answered. Just sat there still, her gaze rounding up the faces of these men who’d appeared from the forest to save her.

This woman was not truly of French, Spanish or English blood, or any other European bloodline the men could think of. But her tanned skin and dark eyes told them her to belong to the people they had learnt to know as well as their own back at Holy Land…Her clothes being truly that of a noblewoman’s, which confused the men as they recalled the words exchanged between her captors about her occupation as a paid lover…But it wasn’t only the clothes that made her seem sublime, but the very aura of authority the men could sense about her while returning her gaze. Well maintained and hidden under the composed demeanor of this woman in front of them.

The men then gasped as amidst their examination over the Saracen woman all of a sudden a white Arabian mare dashed to sight from behind the tree the woman was shackled to. Letting out a frustrated neigh as stomped her feet to make hospitaler back away from her obvious mistress. One glance given to the horse proving her to be a very magnificent animal with as equally noble air around her as the woman, truly looking like a horse of a great owner. Balian then remembering her as well as the same one who’d carried the cloaked woman at his village the day before.

The woman still said nothing but now raised her hand once her attention shifted to the agitated mare, waving it, causing the horse to neigh again. But this time softly, the men following nonplussed as it then knelt beside the woman, calming down. The prisoner finally loosening her grip of the concealed dagger’s handle, instead starting to caress the animal’s soft mane, where the men just stared speechless. Balian frowning. Why would a Saracen be so far away from Holy Land? And as a paid mistress even?

Balian examined the woman in interest that mixed confusion, not being able to conclude who she could truly be. Them indeed being only able to see her eyes from under the veil she wore, which typically covered her hair and the rest of her face like her religion obliged. And although she seemed young, she still didn’t feel that young to the men due to the wise look in her irises as she soon was gazing at them again. Balian only then realizing to put his bloodied sword away once her eyes curtly settled onto it.

“Let us remove these fetters now, shall we?” hospitaler continued then politely. Smiling, glancing briefly at the sturdy manacles until nodded at Balian, beckoning towards one of the dead men at the blacksmith’s vicinity. “Balian, would you get those keys from the keeper?”

Balian was snapped out of his reverie, but obeyed. Seeing the said deceased man with the keys and went to retrieve them, before walking over to the hospitaler and the chained woman. Balian kneeling before her, finally locking gazes with her directly, and couldn’t hold back a slight gasp when her so intense eyes looked deep into his. Measuring him maybe?

Balian quickly looked down as took the set of keys, examining the different ones in the ring until found the one he regarded to open the lock of her manacles, about to free the woman from the tree after frowning at the visible bruising on her wrists. But he was then again equally surprised with the others as she now quickly stood up, swinging the chain away from him, preventing Balian from unlocking her bonds. Her taking a couple of steps backwards as raised her jaw at him, looking at confused Balian sternly. But unlike before her eyes then told everything the men wanted to be explained for now…for she didn’t want to be released.

“My lady, you are now free”, Godfrey told her, walking towards the Saracen woman. “These shackles can no longer hold you. These men who captured you are dead. You are free to leave.”

Still the woman didn’t speak, but again a single gaze of hers told the older crusader the course of her mind. He shared a stare with her for a moment, searched her face until then released a sigh, smiling slightly. Also pushing his sword into its scabbard resigned.

“We’ll take her with us!” Godfrey decided, glancing at his men and his son. “After all, it is not good to leave a woman wandering alone in the forest…One in chains for that matter. Not to mention a Muslim woman.”

Although everyone were naturally hesitant over their lord’s decision, they realized this to be true. For if anyone would stumble upon a Saracen in this forest, she would be killed immediately simply because of the color of her skin in these times of the Holy war, with no exception of her being a woman.

“Balian, would you bring her to our camp?” Godfrey asked, looking at his son who tensed, but said nothing. Just made a half nod when his father now ambled back over to the edge of the glade to return to their own campsite. Balian instead turning and approaching the Saracen woman a bit tentatively, whose gaze followed him intently when he then rounded the tree. Breaking the chain and gathered it, until walked back to the clearing from the right side of the tree, passing the horse. Him jolting as the woman’s eyes looked at him immediately, him returning her gaze for a brief moment until made a prompting nod with his head, taking hold of the mare’s reins.

“Follow me”, Balian said simply, starting to walk forward, now pulling both the woman and the horse gently behind him. Not noticing how the Saracen woman now leveled a slight surprised look after him, but did follow him nonetheless. For she recognized him…Identifying him as the one who had given her captors water the day before at that small village they’d passed. This man, Balian, being the blacksmith from yesterday, her realizing it now, although she had not seen the man’s face… But she knew his voice. The warm tone, but which had carried unspoken sadness in it…And this man here had that voice.

* * *

Balian led the woman and her horse to their campground, stopping at a little distance away from the fire where it was warmer before dropped the chain, nodding to her.

“You can sit here”, he said politely, locking gazes with the woman again until let go of the reins as well, returning back to his own effects. The woman sitting obediently, not talking either now, and so for the following hour or so the woman only sat there in silence. On her knees, that same kind of calm expression in her eyes as seemed to take the most of her solidarity, while the men went through their own nightly chores. However still keeping on glancing at this suddenly appeared woman in curiosity and wonder.

“Is it wise to keep a Saracen with us?” Odo, the German crusader questioned from Godfrey, looking slightly worried. Amusing Godfrey who directed a passing glance at the woman who hadn’t moved a single muscle after she’d been brought to their camp.

“She’s just an innocent woman!” Godfrey stated. “And one in chains as well. What could she do to harm us?”

Everyone mulled over his response, realizing the truth in it, even taking in a Saracen had naturally awoken familiar uneasiness in them, given that they place they were traveling to labelled her people as their sworn enemy as well as their god’s... But oblivious to this Godfrey then turned to Balian.

“Now, let us be finished with your wound, shall we?” he said smiling. Balian nodding and as urged extended his hand to hospitaler, who begun to inspect it again.

He and Godfrey worked with the burn for a while, until suddenly the woman stirred from her immobile position after observing the men for a moment. And eventually after turning annoyed by the evident lack of their healing skills she now raised her own hand, eyeing at the three as for their surprise waved them to come closer. The men stared at her bemused, confused, as she didn’t speak after all but simply waved at them to bring Balian to her it seemed. Balian meeting the woman’s gaze and saw nothing but sincerity in them, no threat, hospitaler then inclining his head as glanced at Balian remarkably.

“Go on”, he urged. “She asks for you.”

Balian hesitated, looking at the hospitaler and his father briefly, until turned his eyes back to the woman. And then releasing a sigh he reluctantly stood up, walking over to her before she beckoned him to sit. And Balian did, kneeling in front of her again. Looking into her eyes, but wasn’t able to tell what emotion he saw show itself from them while the brief stare lasted. From the following close inspection the woman indeed seeming young to him, but still didn’t. Her gaze somehow ageless as it locked with his.

Balian and the other men now followed in interest as the woman finally rose after such a long time of sitting, going to her horse and opened the saddlebag attached to it, pulling out a silky pouch. Her then looking at guarded Balian reassuringly as sat back down, taking out some herbs and objects unfamiliar to the men, and lastly clasped Balian’s injured hand carefully into hers. But he saw then unmasked surprise reflect from her dark ponds as she spotted the scarf, _her_ scarf, in his other hand. Ruined by the pus of his burn. Her gazing up to him in confusion.

“You dropped it outside my workshop yesterday”, Balian specified, although wasn’t either sure could the woman understand him. “Forgive me. I had nothing else so I used it to cover the burn, thinking I could never return it to you.”

The woman of course said nothing but only cast her eyes down, in thought, until let the matter slide. Balian then watching at first hand how she worked, using the herbs to prepare some kind of a paste before then gently took his injured palm again, placing the remedy on the burn. Balian cringing at the smarting sensation and automatically tried to jerk his hand back, but the woman’s fingers grabbed ever so tenderly his wrist, her looking up to Balian even a bit scoldingly. Hence having to admit defeat him uttering another sigh as relaxed himself, allowing her to continue the treatment.

“What is she doing?” sergeant wondered as watched the scene unfold from the sidelines, smoothing his jaw. “Is this a Saracen procedure for healing?”

“I believe it is”, Godfrey answered thoughtful, breaking into an eventual smile. “Then Balian is in good hands. I hear that Saracen medicine is quite advanced, and very much appreciated even at the palace of our king in Jerusalem.”

Balian turned his head a tad toward his father at the sound of that, contemplating his words, before his attention returned back to the woman who was now wrapping a clean bandage around his hand. Although it wasn’t a normal dressing either now, but a piece of silk she’d seemingly ripped straight off of her own robes. Silent she did this, all her focus strictly directed at the burn until it had been fully tended, and finally she looked at Balian again, satisfied. Nodding as a sign for her work to be done and that he was allowed to leave, Balian instead glancing at his injured hand a bit nonplussed for some reason. Him matching her stare thoughtfully, until then turned over to his comrades.

“How do you say thank you in Arabic?” he inquired, Godfrey answering him.

“ **Thank you** ”, Balian repeated the word, nodding himself in gratitude. Him seeing the reply from the woman’s eyes along with a smile, but she kept quiet yet again. Just stared at him until turned her strong gaze away, putting her equipment back into the pouch.

So now treated Balian stood, about to walk back over to the fire, but midway he found himself stopping and turned around. Going back as a thought crossed his mind. “Are you sure you don’t want me to remove those shackles?” he asked from the woman, gesturing toward the chains significantly. Because he indeed thought she couldn’t understand him after all.

The woman glanced briefly down, but the passing moment her eyes had hold Balian’s they had expressed definite denial. Balian nodding in consent and did return to his comrades, them starting to eat. And when they later begun to prepare for rest, the woman had once again resumed her role as a motionless statue even now...As if she was terrified of falling asleep.

“You can rest in peace now, my lady”, Godfrey reassured her, going over to the woman and handed her a cloak. For the night would become a cold one, as although it was only the beginning of the season, winter was already underway. And her clothes weren’t meant for warmth, but to show elegance and status. “For none of my men will touch you. You are safe to sleep here under our protection.”

The woman met the older crusader’s gaze, silent what else as received the cloak, but Godfrey saw thankfulness in her eyes. Him smiling down at her until left her to herself, going over to his own resting place.

 **“Is she a mute? She hasn’t spoken a word since we saved her from those men who were about to sell her. Not even to show her gratitude for us!”** Firuz stated, gazing at their sudden guest, measuring her suspiciously.

“I do not bear hate for Muslims, but I don’t like her silence. She just sits quietly, doing nothing…” sergeant put in, similar kind of doubtful look on his face.

“No. She is grateful to us”, Balian informed them, surprising the men by speaking. “I saw it in her eyes. As if she was thanking me earlier.”

Upon saying so Balian smoothed the bandage of ripped silk absentmindedly, in thoughts, as Godfrey then gazed at the Saracen woman in turn, smiling.

“This woman’s eyes are very vivid and soulful. She doesn’t have to talk to relay her thoughts to others”, he remarked. And Balian agreed, glancing at his father until gave the Saracen woman one more look, before covered himself with a blanket and laid down. Hoping to catch at least a couple of hours of sleep.

“She is not any ordinary woman”, sergeant admitted then, gazing at his companions, before they all then continued to eye at the woman. “Just looking at her makes me think she truly is that of noble blood as her captors said. The way she sits, the way she moves, when she moves, and both her simple gaze and very being…They hold such dignity that can be explained only by status. And one of the men called her **Amira.** Princess in Arabic.”

“But how can that be?” Odo asked, doubtful. “The men holding her were on their way selling her as a prostitute. How could a daughter of a noble family fall to serve men’s desires in bed? Especially a Saracen woman so far from Holy Land…”

The men were quiet as they pondered over this fact. And while consumed by their private musings they didn’t see it, but the woman then leveled a measuring look at them, aware of everything they had been talking of. Godfrey cutting into the discussion.

“I’m sure all will be revealed in time”, he said simply, although looked thoughtful himself then as gazed at the woman from the corner of his eye. “I have a feeling she is someone very special…”

* * *

Something landed abruptly on the ground next to Balian, causing him to jolt awake from his slumber.

“Pick it up! Let’s see what you’re made of”, his father’s voice said above him. Balian opening his eyes to peer up to him groggily, before turned to look at the apparent sword Godfrey had thrown next to his berth. Despite of the heavy sleep that clouded his mind him then throwing his covers aside and took it with not much thought. His eyes latching onto the Saracen woman, to see her sit at the exact same position at the exact same spot on her knees as last evening, staring into the forest. To the direction of Mecca, a proud look in her eyes as she recited her prayers in her mind, Balian frowning for wonder. Had she slept at all?

“His hand is hurt my lord”, hospitaler reminded his lord as caught on to his desire to test his son’s sword wielding skills, Godfrey only looking at him indifferently while strapped his belt tighter around himself.

“I once fought two days with an arrow through my testicle”, he answered matter-of-factly, the hospitaler sharing a knowing look with him as then nodded.

“Ah, yes”, he remembered. Godfrey drawing his blade as Balian stood up, only to be forced to defend himself immediately once his father charged at him, them exchanging a couple of hits until they halted and Godfrey directed a round strike against Balian’s sword. Which he received, but couldn’t help faltering due to the power of the attack, managing to block it although weakly. The Saracen woman watching their exchange intently.

“Never use a low guard”, Godfrey instructed, turning around. “You fight well. Let’s work on your skills. Take a high guard, like this…”

Godfrey now raised his blade above his head, sharing a look with Balian. “The Italians call it _‘la poste di falcone’_ -the guard of a hawk”, he continued, swinging his blade with swift moves first to the sides and then to the middle. “Strike from high, like this. Do it.”

Balian's weapon rose, him mimicing the move his father had just taught him by taking the said stance, his father giving him a quick look-over. Seeing that despite of his earlier service, it had been a long time since Balian had last hold a blade in his hand.

“Sword straighter”, Godfrey corrected, Balian obeying. Godfrey then patting his stomach with the flat side of his blade. “Come on. Leg back, bend your knees.”

Everyone in the clearing were now observing the teaching session, Balian trying to correct the angle of the blade so that it satisfied his father, who however then gave in, retreating from him.

“Sword straighter”, Godfrey said again, next brandishing his own blade. “Defend yourself."

They swung their blades at each other, only for Godfrey to deflect Balian’s to the side and then surprise him by stepping forth, placing the hilt of his weapon against unprepared Balian’s neck in a blink of an eye.

“Blade is not the only part of a sword”, Godfrey reminded, serious now as met Balian’s gaze before pushed him back gently. Look of frustration making an appearance on Balian’s face, but he followed Godfrey’s example by taking another stance in deep concentration.

“Attack”, Godfrey ordered and Balian did, clashing with his father’s weapon only two times before his sword this time pried loose from his hand and fell to the ground. His givenly rusty combat skills not offering required resistance to Godfrey who'd practically spent the last decades at a battlefield. The woman narrowed her eyes at this.

This youngest man of this party clearly wasn’t a crusader. Or a warrior for that matter. Apparently he seemed to know how to handle a weapon yes, but at least had not wielded one for a long time. That much she already knew by observing him. Balian, was his name? The blacksmith... Indeed he seemed more like a man of honest work than of war, which is whys she didn’t then quite understand why had he left his village to go along this group of crusaders. The oldest and most experienced out of all these men, Godfrey, next swung his blade toward his son, Balian stepping back now weaponless. But then the blonde haired German crusader came forth.

“I have you leave?” Odo inquired, Godfrey nodding in concur and lowered his sword. Balian glancing at the brawny German as he pulled out his, walking in front of him to take Godfrey’s place. Balian picking up his own weapon as received a smile from the man.

“Pay attention”, Odo urged, now himself taking the just taught stance, Balian averting a bit as then received the man’s powerful, incoming attack. The German starting to count the blows he delivered in his native tongue, Balian doing now better under the determination to learn and against a much fiercer opponent. Godfrey and the Saracen woman now being the only ones still following the exchange of hits interested, until then the sound of approaching horses woke the group’s attention and the two stopped their spar.

The woman turned her gaze to the side, seeing how indeed four figures on horseback appeared from between the trees and then halted for a moment to gaze at the small group of men, until continued to ride forward. Closer to the crusaders.

“What’s this?” Godfrey questioned as stood up, everyone now stepping closer to the arriving horsemen besides the woman who still sat still on the ground, simply staring, observing. The horsemen soon coming to a halt aside for their leader however who rode forth, addressing Godfrey.

“Uncle”, he greeted, despite of his civil tone appearing not all that glad to come to face to face with his father’s brother again. The feeling apparently mutual as Godfrey answered, his own voice but polite once he recognized the mounted man as his brother’s son, although he was audibly surprised to see him.

“Nephew.”

“You have with you a man, Balian, who killed a priest. His brother. I’m charged by both my father and the lord bishop to bring him back”, the sheriff, Godfrey’s nephew said, directing a look at Balian. The woman eyeing at this spoken man in interest, him then also noticing the lone female sitting a bit farther away, and confusion at the sight of a Saracen at French soil took over him. Causing him briefly to forget his purpose of being here, until Balian soon walked forward, his father turning to him.

“What he says is true”, Balian admitted, looking at Godfrey. “They have the right to take me.”

“I say he’s innocent of the charge”, Odo spoke up surprisingly, his delivery but grim. “If you say he’s guilty, then we’ll fight. And God will decide the truth of it.”

“My German friend is a close student of the law”, hospitaler cut in, also looking over to the four men on horses.

“Just give him to me”, the sheriff stated, jaded. “I’ll fight you for something else…Uncle, he’s a _murderer_.”

Balian exchanged another look with his father, that of shame, but frowned slightly for confusion as saw him only wink at his men standing behind Balian, until turned around to face the sheriff. With no intention of handing him over.

“So am I”, he responded, dropping his sword from his shoulder, as walked closer to the horsemen. The Saracen woman casting a bit surprised glance at him over the clearing, but a sudden rustling sound coming from the forest behind her claimed her attention, her turning her head towards the noise then for her ears to detect clear sound of movement. Realizing there to be more of these men in the area, hidden…And it was then that she noticed one of Godfrey's men who had left their camp just a moment ago had not in fact returned.

Godfrey stopped next to his nephew's horse. “Whoever dies here today…you will certainly be among them”, he said death seriously, warned the man, telling him to walk away while he still could as looked into the young man's eyes. Where the sheriff instead seemed but vexed as responded, although he managed to conjure up a polite smile on his lips.

“You’re my uncle. I must give you the road”, the sheriff gave in, nodding slightly, before turned his horse around as a signal to his men to retreat. The crusaders following the horsemen as they left, quickly vanishing amongst the trees, but as Godfrey then returned his sword back to its sheath and walked closer to the camp, everyone's eyes rounded the clearing suspiciously. As if sensing something, the Saracen woman now distinctly hearing a clear snapping sound from behind her, as then the dark skinned man cried out a warning. The woman’s eyes widening for realization.

 **“Take cover!”** she suddenly shouted in Arabic, shocking the men who at first didn't fathom her warning any more than they had Firuz’s, but at the same moment an arrow flew from the forest. Hitting one of them, followed by countless other arrows that soon filled the air, as an intention of piercing the crusaders where they stood.

“To the flanks!” Godfrey exclaimed, just as one of the arrows hit Firuz's horse, causing him to fall, while another made a wounding impact with the German’s throat. Impaling it.

The men now separated, trying to find shelter as the first horseman rode to the clearing, letting out a battle cry as attacked Godfrey. But with only one blow he was dropped from the saddle, Godfrey raising his sword for a finishing strike, but got shot by an arrow himself, it sinking into his side in middle of the movement. Balian jumping forward and slashed at a man charging at him while in the air, then turning to his right as advanced to a man who tried to ready his crossbow to shoot him. But Balian swung his blade, knocking the bow away from him as then grabbed him, turning the man around and killed him by first striking with the higher part of the blade, giving the lethal cut from the lower blade of his sword. The man falling down with a cry of pain, Balian then whipping around ready to meet with another enemy. But instead his eyes once again fixated onto the Saracen woman who still hadn’t moved from her spot.

Balian saw one of the attackers now run towards the woman, his blade raised for a deadly strike, startled Balian leaping forward again. Rushing to save the defenseless woman who just had given her help to him earlier, but what happened next caused him to freeze momentarily for shock. The woman sitting there serene and watching the man advance her way, his sword held up high to cut off her head. But all of a sudden she stood up in a flash, threw her chains around the man’s neck and pulled, throwing the man to the side, him falling. And Balian and others who noticed got to follow in confusion as the woman who had only sat silently, not uttering a single word so far now pulled out a hidden dagger from her sleeve, piercing the man in a second, now completely free from the heavy chains she had been tethered with.

The as surprised man let out a wail of pain as the woman straightened, stealing his sword and twirled around before jumping forth. Attacking sharply at the man nearest her, killing him in a matter of seconds. Balian watching her to strike with the blade swiftly and lethally, in perfect moves and formations, making all of the attackers on her way fall down defeated. He was shocked, but was brought out of his daze as one of the enemies charged at him from the side.

Balian defeated his opponent, next beating down two more men as ran forward, soon noticing an archer across the small river. Aiming at the Saracen woman who was fighting with a couple of men, taking the other out with a couple of stabs upon the torso. Unaware of the danger. So Balian dashed forth, grabbed the woman’s robes to pull her out of the way as the arrow flew past her, Balian then slicing at the remained opponent of hers. The veil accidentally coming off due to Balian’s quick yank, but Balian saw nothing but a cloud of dark hair behind the silk as the woman now made a sharp turn. Hitting another attacker, separating from Balian.

Odo hurried forward, and despite of the arrow sticking from his neck he attacked upon his own opponents, striking hard against one attacker’s weapon, making him fall down. Him conquering his enemies with brute force, and with skill and power of a terrifying adversary. Him then causing another two men to fall down due to the merciless whack of his axe as then also saw a cloud of dark long hair from the corner of his eye, next noticing the Saracen woman spin into his vision and sever an enemy spear, making as quick new spin and pierced the man clean. But Odo had no chance to see this veiled woman’s face as then another arrow pierced him, causing him to drop to his knees as the woman froze beside him. Looking down at him for a brief moment until made yet another quick move, attacking the man who ran past them.

Sergeant revealed his weapon and sliced a man on his back, then crossing blades with his opponent as swung the blade back to cut his enemy. Triumphant as he sliced him again, causing him to stiffen, this giving him a chance to deliver the finishing blow. Killing the attacker. Firuz instead shoving a knife into other man’s neck, only to have his spearhead sunken in his stomach, the African an releasing a pained holler. Just as a rider galloped to the scene from behind him, slicing his arm, Firuz then falling to the ground. Defeated.

The Saracen woman ran forward, three still alive men starting to run away from her, scared, as they knew to most likely to die if challenged her blade with theirs. However she ran after them quickly, soon reaching the last one running and with as quick and rigorous moves killed him, the other soon losing his life the same way. But it was then when Balian suddenly showed up behind a tree, hitting his blade on the stomach of the last alive man before slicing him on his shoulder. The Saracen woman stepping forth, raising her stolen blade for a strike as Balian whipped around, his sword crashing straight against hers, until the moment he realized his miscalculation. But the woman as swiftly deflected his blade to the side, leaping past him as then at the same time Balian felt a blade tap on his head.

Startled a little Balian looked up, only to see the hospitaler sit on his horse. Relieved Balian nodding to him as did he, until continued riding forward, Balian seeing the Saracen woman to be fighting the last remaining alive men a bit farther away. Him hearing their cries of pain all the way where he stood, the attackers having no chance against her practiced, deadly blows. As he now watched her fight the woman really confusing him…No common women fought like that...

And then as if but an instant had went by, it was over. Balian walking back to their main camp, seeing the hospitaler to remove his helmet in respect as walked over to Odo, to close his eyes that were staring straight up to the trees. Firuz laying next to him, also to have fallen. The rest of the group all quiet now as they gazed upon the dead. After a moment of silence Balian glancing around, feeling guilt gnaw at him as he took in the several corpses riddling the clearing, until his focus went back to the deceased crusaders. These men had lost two of their comrades because of him. Because of his sin, his act of murder. At the thought of this him letting out an imperceptible sigh, turning away, his eyes then once again finding the Saracen woman. Him taking a step closer to her, and now others also remembered her presence, following his example by facing her.

The veil had indeed fallen from her head, revealing now a surprisingly young woman with dark, syrup colored hair, who was standing there before them while adorned with the attackers’ blood as were they. Staring at them, circling the still alive crusaders with her as strong gaze as ever, while the men examined her and noted her to have a weird tattoo on her lower and upper lip, creating a symbol which looked like a star. Them eyeing at her in confusion, remembering the way she had just fought like being born to hold a sword, her simply looking back at them again serene. Her now wearing a simple long tunic over white harem pants, being even more lightly cloth, that unlike before now revealed the given slim form of a female. And now finally after the hours of sitting completely silent, the woman spoke to them for the first time.

“Does not your eyes recognize a Saracen after all, even your blades must have tasted the blood of my kin more than once, crusaders?” she questioned, her voice clear but as well proud, her talking with flawless English. The men said nothing in turn as then watched her to throw down the sword she had taken from one of the attackers, as if in contempt. Her soon dropping back to her knees and closed her eyes, the men seeing her make a cross of Christianity over her chest before begun to pray for Allah in Arabic. Astonishing the men.

“You speak English?” the sergeant stated questionably, gazing at the woman. Balian to have been eyeing at her the whole time, but now he directed quite an amused look at the shackles which she miraculously had removed from her wrists and which now laid on the ground.

“So that was the reason you didn’t want us to remove the shackles”, he stated, the woman then stopping her praying and opening her eyes to look at Balian. “You were already free from them.”

“And you, my lady of Saladin’s people, can handle a weapon”, Godfrey remarked, seemingly impressed as examined the Saracen before them.

“I am many things”, she answered. “But not what you see outside…”

The men were a bit confused by her answer. But then sergeant spoke up again.

“If you were free, why didn’t you flee woman?” he questioned, the woman turning her eyes on him. “If you were able to remove your shackles, you could have escaped from those men before we came upon you.”

The woman now looked away, replying after a short silence. “I have no place to go and flee. And those men you killed and saved me from…They were taking me back to Jerusalem, my only home where I was once born…”

Balian frowned. But the woman then smiled as continued.

“I thank you for saving me, crusaders. I would have indeed been delivered to a rich nobleman of Jerusalem’s aristocracy if you had not interfered”, she said, looking back at them one by one.

“But now we have robbed you the joy of seeing your home once again”, Godfrey responded, smiling apologetically. Ignoring his injury as he came over to the woman, kneeling now in turn before her as she smiled again.

“You have wronged me indeed by not letting me return to my beloved Jerusalem, crusader”, she said, then glancing at Godfrey’s wounded side. “But I shall treat your wound, my lord, if you promise me one thing.”

Godfrey examined the young woman thoughtfully, until nodded. The woman now turning rather stern as said her following quite shocking words.

“Kill me, my lord”, she bidded, causing the men gasp for surprise. Balian frowning again but this time out of mere outrage, taking another step closer to the woman who was staring into his father’s eyes. Hers not wavering a bit when she so straightforwardly asked for death.

“I have lived my life to serve, without a will of my own robbed from me since childhood. Without a master I have no will. And without a will, I am nothing. So my life can be given to Allah or to your God, whichever would possibly receive me.”

The woman stared at Godfrey intently, who matched her stare silently for a while, until then nodded. Resigned.

“I can see what I can do”, he answered diplomatically, standing up, although staggering a bit as he did so. The woman’s eyes following him as hospitaler then helped his lord walk closer to the fire, Balian instead examining the woman in deep thought.

She wanted to die? Claiming that without a master or anyone to own her she was nothing? What did she mean to believe so? Was being finally free the reason she wanted to die for?


	3. The Princess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phrases written in bold; Arabic
> 
> Phrases written in italics; thoughts, memories or quotes

Godfrey squeezed his sword in agony as hospitaler was pulling out the pieces of the arrowhead from his side, the Saracen woman sitting beside them, holding a bowl of water. One she was ready to offer every time hospitaler extended his hand, now dropping another, so far the biggest bloody shard into it.

“Well, you broke the arrow”, hospitaler stated a bit accusingly as glanced at his lord, the woman smiling a little amused. The hospitaler nodding his thanks to her, until turned his attention back to the injured man, now more serious look in his eyes.

“If the ribs are broken, the marrow might enter the blood, in which case you will develop fever and die”, he continued, Balian looking down, frowning slightly for worry as Godfrey let out deep breaths, huffing after enduring the pain which the removal of the arrowhead had created.

“Or a cyst will form, and you’ll live”, the woman filled in the sentence, earning wondering looks from the men as she then placed the bowl on the ground. “A certain mixture of herbs I know will lower the risk of fever. I can prepare it, if you wish.”

“Please”, the hospitaler asked with a new approving nod, the woman standing and leaving to retrieve her bag of healing supplies, Balian’s eyes following her. This woman was strange.

“But nevertheless you’re in the hands of God”, hospitaler continued, looking at his lord again. The woman returning and kneeling next to Godfrey again who gave her a fleeting glance, until looked at hospitaler a bit annoyed by his own amused tone.

“Get me some more wine”, he simply stated, ignoring the man’s sarcasm. The hospitaler taking his leave with an according mirthful smile and went to retrieve the requested wine while Godfrey then looked to his right at Balian, waving him to come closer. The woman moving away as he arrived, but set herself back on the ground, starting to prepare the healing herb mixture with concentration. Balian sitting next to her, his eyes however not straying to take in her doings and remained solely on his father.

“It was not that they had no right to take you”, Godfrey said after a slight silence, looking into Balian’s eyes. “It was the way they asked.”

Balian thought a moment, in the end ending up following the hands of the Saracen woman for a small moment while she worked as came upon a response, eventually making a gloomy half smile as directed his gaze back down again. “They had the right to take me.”

The woman now looked up to him and Godfrey momentarily until returned her eyes back to her task at hand, the elder man eyeing at his son for a while and saw the shame that weighed down on him, but like before chose to ignore it. Disagreeing with him.

“So do I”, Godfrey answered. Remarkably, Balian looking up to him in surprise of his definite words, until corners of his lips then curved up slightly due to a small smile. Nevertheless the guilt soon still taking over him briefly once more, the woman to have taken a break from her work for the second time and like his father witnessed Balian's inner struggle. Her then extending her hands and Balian looked at her in confusion where she simply smiled at him a bit.

“Take this. Crush it and pulverize it into being easily swallowed”, she instructed him, meeting the man’s brown eyes, until turned her attention back to the new portion of different paste she was making. Balian looked at her still a bit baffled, but after all did what she had told him, starting to squish some dried berries into powder. The smell coming from them horrible, causing him to turn up his nose a tad.

“What is this stench?” sergeant asked and tried to wave the smell away with his hand, directing a bit amused smile towards the woman’s back. “Are you sure you are healing our lord with that, or just simply killing him?”

The woman sighed at the man’s sarcasm, although a ghost of smile did make an appearance on her lips, her however not raising her gaze from the paste.

“Do you know, crusader, how to detect what is the most effective healing plant of all?” she questioned back, sergeant actually looking a bit dumbfounded, his sarcasm all gone. The woman’s smile widening due to the befallen silence as she then spread the paste on a cloth.

“It is the stench. The more it reeks, more lives it will save”, she explained, placing the cloth on the fresh wound as spoke. Godfrey flinching just like Balian had when the curative herbs begun their instant work, but the woman’s hand stopped him from moving. Her leveling a somewhat hard look at him.

“Do not move”, she commanded, looking at the older crusader briefly, but then she turned her head towards Balian. “Is it done?” she questioned, Balian nodding and he handed the pulverized berries back to her. Her now looking at the hospitaler as sniffed the powder briefly, dropping some other white substance into the mix and stirred the two powders into one.

“Would you hand me the wine?” she asked, extending her hand and the hospitaler did give the goblet to her. Balian now following the woman to pour the mixed powders into the cup, lastly adding one more unfamiliar herb in it, mixing it all together before then offered it to Godfrey.

“Drink. It will affect the healing process and help you sleep. I added one quite strong plant in this which is commonly used as a narcotic”, she specified, the older crusader then starting to drink without much thought. Instantly making a face of distaste.

“This does not only smell bad but tastes also”, he stated, smiling amused. The woman tilting her head matter-of-factly.

“That is the magic of it, my lord.”

“Waste of good wine…”

The woman’s lips were visited by another small smile as she again begun to gather together her equipment. Godfrey finishing the drink and placed the cup down, leaning his head backwards.

“How long do I have before sleep takes over me?” he inquired.

“It depends on a person. Some take only five minutes and some hours”, the woman answered. Godfrey nodding, but he then looked at the woman earnestly.

“About the thing you asked me”, he said, the woman now becoming as serious until saw Godfrey only shake his head. “I cannot fulfill your wish. Not by my hand I can. I cannot take your life, my lady.”

The woman looked down briefly, but her eyes soon came back up as adamant as were her features. “Then you must accept me when I swear my servitude to you”, she replied. “As the ones who saved me from a life of misery I owe you. And the only way a woman like me can repay is to serve you. I pledge to be your loyal servant till the day I die, even after your time in this world has come to pass.”

“I cannot accept you my lady”, Godfrey refused. “Not as a slave I can.”

“Then you’ll abandon me”, the woman countered. “As I told you, half of my life I have been someone’s to own. If I am free I can never return back to Jerusalem. The only thing, which kept me from weeping over the fate I would have had to endure after being bought by yet another rich man of nobility, was the fact that this ownership would have brought me back home. I would have been able to go back to the land I was born and raised, before the same cruel fate drew me away from everything I loved. So please…Have me as your servant so that I can return to the lands of my daydreams.”

The woman kept a break. “It is after all my part to be nothing but service to you, my lord. I am a Saracen, born to the people of my lord Saladin. And should not only be just and expected of me to serve those who are my masters at Holy Land?”

Both Godfrey and Balian stared at this young woman, who sat her head bent between them, sensing her distress and longing for the said home she had once been made to part from by who knew what force or might. Her then looking up to Godfrey and the man gauged at the woman’s determined, wistful eyes until sighed, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“I am not your master any more than you are mine”, he said, but smiled then, in agreement. “But as we cannot leave you here by yourself, we can as well take you with us to Jerusalem, my lady. I accept your pledge and thank you for your loyalty.”

Balian watched the woman return his father’s smile as they matched each other’s stare. Him seeing true joy in her eyes, excitement over his father’s made promise.

“Thank you my lord”, she said, bending her head again. Godfrey smiling too once more until leant back, letting out a sigh.

“Those men…” Balian then spoke up, looking at the woman quizzically. “The ones who hold you captive…They spoke of you as one of noble blood.”

Balian noticed the woman’s eyes turn now slightly sadder and she froze at the sound of his inquiry, causing him to frown for wonder.

“Who are you, my lady?”

The woman did not answer for a long time. But Godfrey examined her, soon staring at the tattoo upon her lips. Just as the woman then raised her gaze, smiling.

“No one important to you, my lord. As well as no one important to the man whom I once called father…Or to my people. To anyone”, she stated simply. Balian giving her a confused look-over, but she said nothing more about the subject to elaborate her obscure words now that the conversation had made a sudden turn to her. Her next only standing and leaving the blacksmith with his father, going back to the place she had sat the previous evening as well after washing the bowls and her tools with boiled water.

“That tattoo on her lips”, hospitaler then remarked, looking over the fire at Balian and Godfrey. “I have seen it somewhere before.”

“It is the Star of Jerusalem she bears”, Godfrey informed, now notably drowsier due to the drug the woman had given him, bettering his position. Both hospitaler and sergeant casting him astonished looks.

“That which Saladin himself uses as his emblem?” sergeant asked. Balian frowning again, as he’d heard the woman mention that particular name as well just now.

“Saladin?” he questioned.

“King of the Muslims”, hospitaler specified. Balian nodding slowly, turning to look at his father.

“Who is that woman? Where did she come from?” he asked, half to himself.

“Why would a simple courtesan bear the mark of Saladin?” sergeant wondered.

“That is rather interesting point to think about.”

Balian then fell to his musings, after awhile his eyes shifting over to the woman. To see her sit her back against a tree while staring to the sky, him then following as she raised the veil and circled it around her head, covering her hair. His attention then focusing onto the pot which still had some leftover food in it, him scooping it empty to another bowl. Standing up from his father’s side and walked over to the woman, offering her the food.

“Here. You need to eat.”

The woman shook her head. “I cannot”, she answered, smiling. “Leave it there and I might be able to eat later on.”

Balian thought another moment. “What is your name, my lady?”

“Forgive me my lord, but does a crusader keep the name of a Saracen courtesan in such importance to know it?” the young woman asked back, looking up to the man. Her tone a bit amused, as were her eyes that peered up to Balian.

“I simply wish to know the name of a woman who helped me”, Balian responded, surprising the woman as he now knelt beside her like before, meeting her eyes his own sincere. Her staring at this man she did not know in bafflement of his words, until then let out a sigh. Smiling slightly.

“Sofia”, she revealed, looking into Balian’s eyes again, but this time but briefly. “It is the name a certain Greek lord once gave me after purchasing me. My true name faded into oblivion long ago and is of no importance to even myself, as it represents nothing but unfulfilled dreams…and a life that was denied from me.”

It was Balian's turn to stare at her a bit puzzled. Nothing seemed to be clear with this woman who looked and acted like a noblewoman, but was in fact nothing to most of the people. But he then only nodded, in understanding.

“Sofia it is”, he agreed. Him returning the woman’s smile before he even actually noticed it, but then his eyes also were stuck to stare at the tattoo branded on her lips. The woman frowning a little as could see his thoughts from his eyes, like looking into a mirror. Them revolving around the same topic that his father then brought up again, preventing her from answering.

“That tattoo is the symbol of Saladin’s royal family”, Godfrey then cut into their private conversation, surprising Sofia and Balian as they turned to him, thinking that he had already fallen asleep. Sofia however looking at the older crusader serenely as always.

“There is only one person I know to have ever carried that symbol on her like you are, visible to all eyes”, Godfrey continued mysteriously, glancing at the hospitaler knowingly. “Ten years ago, a princess and a daughter of Saladin was kidnapped from his palace. And she has not been seen ever since. There was never anyone to claim ransom, and no one has ever learnt what happened to the said princess, nor was her body ever discovered or recovered…All anyone knows is just the name of the abducted daughter of the king, and that she had a tattoo. The ‘Star of Jerusalem’ branded on her when she was five years old, to prove her title.”

Balian was taken aback by this and he wrinkled his brows, then turning his eyes back to Sofia to see her frown too at Godfrey’s presumptions. But in her eyes there was now warmness, a flicker of old, much cherished memories that flashed through them as she was gazing at his father.

“What is your true name, my child? The one you were born with?” Godfrey enquired, Sofia sighing. Remaining silent at first, not showing any indication Godfrey to have been right about her, but after dropping her gaze and closing her eyes she then smiled and stood up. Gathering her long tunic and walked over to the injured man, once more kneeling beside him. Godfrey taking her hand in his as Sofia still smiled at him, wider, nodding to him.

“Adilah, my lord. Long ago I was called Adilah, the princess of the Muslims”, Sofia revealed. This causing the other listeners to stiffen where Godfrey only made a knowing nod of his own while measured Sofia, in the end staring at the tattoo once more. Soon raising his hand and tapped the star on her lips lightly with his thumb.

“I thought as much”, Godfrey stated, clearly satisfied to gain confirmation to his suspicions, dropping his hand. Balian also standing from the place he had remained, staring at Sofia flabbergasted.

“So it was true what those men were saying?” he questioned in confusion, not believing this to be actually true. “She is a princess?”

“I told you”, Sofia said, turning around to look at him. “I am not of any importance to your people. But neither am I to my own either, as a lost princess who is now nothing more than a courtesan, unfitting and the least worthy to the position I was born to…To the position I was removed from by my kidnappers as a child.”

Sofia then sighed again and looked down, taking a break. She closed her eyes, pulling the veil off her head. “I was indeed taken by some men when I was 10 years old and smuggled away from Jerusalem, my home, to Spain. And ever since my days as a woman begun two years later I was made a courtesan, living only to be please the men who desired to buy me to own me...So I became Sofia. Ordinary woman with no past, and no future…I _am_ nothing more. And I know who I am.”

There was a shadow of sadness again that passed Sofia’s face as her eyes were cast down again, in given helplessness, but with which she’d long ago learned to live with and accept as the sole reality she had to condone...No matter how unjust or miserable…For she’d had nothing more. Neither to expect or hope for.

“But wouldn’t Saladin have sent someone to search for his own daughter?” Balian questioned, glancing at the other men in doubt. Sofia raising her gaze back to him.

“I am the daughter of Saladin”, she repeated. “But I was not born as the queen’s daughter, but rather my mother was an Englishwoman. You can even see the impure blood in me by just looking into my eyes…”

Sofia turned a bit towards the fire, and when hospitaler did stare into her eyes, he saw that they were not dark brown as he and the others had thought, but blue. Dark blue, which could be seen in the right light, as normally her irises would appear nearly black. His eyebrows arching.

“They are blue”, he noted, glancing around at his companions until shook his head in disbelief, smiling a bit thoughtfully. Sofia returning his gaze for a while, until turned her head away again.

“Because of my origin from my mother’s side it was out of the question to send someone to look for me after the kidnapping, as it could not be revealed that the daughter of the king of the Muslims was in fact half-blooded. That is the reason why the ransom money was never paid to my kidnappers as they learnt the truth, them not sending one, knowing the king not to pay ransom for an illegitimate daughter. So they instead sold me, making me who I am today. Using my still existing title to attract the money of rich, influential customers…”

Balian and the other men were dumbfounded. To think this woman turned out to be the daughter of the great Saracen king their own ruler was fighting against in the Holy Land...How could such a coincidence actually occur, and to them for that matter?

“That explains your clothing and your horse”, hospitaler stated then, matching Sofia’s gaze. “Despite your profession, you were still considered as a noblewoman because of your indisputable blood.”

Sofia smiled gloomily. “You must mean as a true high-class courtesan”, she remarked...As it was true. Her next offering Godfrey one more smile, until searched the faces of the men in the clearing, pleading with them. “I beg of you. That what I was is part of the past. I am not Adilah, nor the princess who was lost. I am but Sofia, your servant and just a woman. And I beg of you to keep this hidden. It was but a mere accident that led you to find out my true identity, and now when we travel to Jerusalem…my true name cannot be revealed. No one can ever know that Adilah, daughter of Saladin still lives.”

“We promise not to tell a soul who you are”, Godfrey answered and Sofia turned to look at him. “It would certainly be dangerous for your people to learn of your survival after all you’ve gone through in your life. To me you are Sofia, my charge and servant, if that is what you insist upon. I cannot say no to you.”

“And as I already said”, Balian then cut in and walked forward, looking at Sofia. “Sofia it shall be. After all we only know a courtesan who was to be sold. A woman capable of wielding a blade like a man.”

Sofia gave him sad, thankful smile. “Thank you, my lord.”

Hospitaler and the sergeant also promised to hide this fact about the Saracen woman they would be traveling with to Messina. Sofia thanking them with a bow and then returned back to her own spot at the clearing, raising the shackles from the ground before next handed them to Balian, extending her wrists. Balian giving her a bit shocked look mixed with bafflement.

“I cannot. I neither see it just to keep a slave and shall not make you one”, he denied, shaking his head.

“Then your choice is this; shackle me and make me your slave to follow you to Jerusalem, or take out your sword crusader, and in the name of your father, my lord, slay me here where I stand. Because as I told your father, my life is worthless without a will and a master to serve”, Sofia told him, looking into Balian’s eyes sincerily before cast hers down, leaving him very confused. For he did not understand her way of thinking, or rather why she wanted him to shackle her as she truly was not their slave or true servant, but a charge as his father had called her, and they would rather escort her to Jerusalem than take her by force. But still as he stared at Sofia, seeing the acceptance over her fate from her, Balian then sighed.

He then understood. Unable to make himself kill this innocent woman, which is why he then did as she asked and strapped the manacles around Sofia’s hands, the locks clicking into place. Him doing this reluctantly and it was evident on his face, but Sofia only smiled at him.

“Do not look such, my lord”, she said. “I have lived in shackles for so long that I have been accustomed to them. And without the weight of them I would feel insecure. These are my protection. The protection of my master is all I know and to which I can trust.”

Balian looked up into Sofia’s eyes once more and saw calmness in them. But he knew then with that single look that her life must’ve been full of hidden suffering as then turned away and went back to the fire, Sofia once again sitting down and resumed her stare at the sky. The men soon hearing her begin to recite the Lord’s Prayer, crossing her fingers after making a cross over her chest.

* * *

“Is she a Muslim but still a Christian?” sergeant asked quietly, eyeing at Sofia who was riding her horse beside Godfrey, next to her lord. “Is that possible?”

“If your faith is strong it does not matter which God you believe in”, Godfrey cut in, after all hearing the man’s remark and exchanged a look with Sofia. “All people try to find the love of God. Muslims and Christians do not differ even in that.”

“Is that true?” Balian now questioned as also looked at Sofia in wonder. “I was under a belief Muslims aren’t allowed to pray any other Gods than their own.”

“I am not a Muslim”, Sofia answered, hint of amused smile on her lips as she glanced at Balian. “Nor am I a Christian. I am what I am, and I believe there is a God. But no one can know which one is the real one. And still, I have my faith.”

“That’s true”, hospitaler remarked, smiling a bit. Sofia joining him with a wider one, and Balian now watched her to pull out a small Christian cross from under her robes.

“This is the only thing of my mother who I never met”, she said. “And what she did give me was her love for your God. But I was raised as Muslim, so my own goes two ways. I pray and respect both Allah and the Heavenly Father the best I can. I am but myself in front of the eyes of whichever God there is to listen to me.”

“You truly are wise, my lady. Right was the man who named you”, hospitaler continued and Sofia let out small laugh, looking up.

“No. I am not wise but practical. I after all had to become an adult at very early age, but maturity is not wisdom. In addition because of my double religion some might find me a blasphemer”, she said back. Not smiling anymore as continued. “Another reason for me to arrive back to the Holy Kingdom as a simple Saracen servant.”

“For that, you need new clothes”, Godfrey stated, eyeing at the woman a bit amused who obviously had nothing else to wear than her clothing of the finest silk. “Because no one would believe you to serve me, but me to serve you!”

Sofia smiled. “Yes I understand that. I was planning on selling Sa’ida when the time would come and have some money to buy plainer clothes for myself.”

“You mean her?” hospitaler asked and pointed at the white mare. Sofia smiled this time bit blue and smoothed the animal’s neck. Hospitaler shook his head.

“Pity. She is one of the most beautiful animals I’ve ever seen ridden”, he stated. Sofia nodded.

“My heart breaks as well, but I believe the trip through the sea would be too much for her”, she answered. “She has not seen but land and would be petrified to be brought to sea… She’ll be better staying behind out of danger.”

“It’s just a small trip over water. Nothing too grave”, the sergeant commented. But Sofia’s mien now turned serious.

“No, crusader, the sea is unpredictable”, she said in turn, now looking at the Englishman. “You never know when it shows its hatred to you. They say it is the God’s anger which contrasts with the open waters, and it is a test all men journeying to the Holy Land shall face to prove their worth and willfulness to serve their God.”

“I’ve heard that as well”, Godfrey cut in. “And it is true more than often. The journey from Messina is not easy to make. You have to pray for God’s mercy to survive the voyage across the sea.”

Balian looked down for a moment, wrinkling his brows as considered in what kind of a journey he had actually joined. To be traveling to a faraway place across the vast water which people all over the world referred to as the land of peace and God, where people went to seek forgiveness and guidance of the Lord Almighty…But which actually was torn apart by countless bloody battles over the dominion of the city of Jerusalem, the holy city of both Saracens and Christians, which now was under the power of crusaders ruled by a Christian king Baldwin VI. Nevertheless Saladin continuously attempting to restore the mastery of the city to the Muslims, like it was before the crusades begun almost 100 years ago.

Imperceptibly Balian’s hand crept inside his collar and he squeezed the small cross within his palm, ignoring the pain resonating from the still sore burn. Even Sofia’s treatment had turned out to be very effective, still the burn had been severe and it would take time to heal completely. But realizing this Balian then gasped out of his thoughts as a gentle hand was pressed on his wrist. And as he turned to look up, he was met with Sofia’s eyes that stared into his under the veil she had covered herself with again as a precaution. Balian looking back at her questionably, but Sofia’s gaze was again serious, giving him the answer to his confusion.

“The wound is still not healed enough for you to break the formed skin”, she said to him, then suddenly jumping down swiftly from her horse, Balian looking around and realized the others to have also dismounted their steeds. How long had he remained the captive of his ponders?

“I should check your wound, my lord”, Sofia told then to Godfrey, removing the veil from her face.

“As you command”, Godfrey consented with a smile, Sofia shaking her head at his snarky tone and retrieved her silky bag, taking it to Balian’s father who sat down obediently. Leaning against a trunk.

“It is me who you shall command, my lord”, Sofia answered, again taking out the same herbs as yesterday evening.

“How could we command the daughter of Saladin?” sergeant asked sarcastically as walked past them, Balian seeing Sofia to direct a jaded look to his direction from the corner of her eye. Balian finally letting go of the cross and dismounted his horse, but then Sofia waved at him.

“My lord Balian, will you let me see your hand as well?” she requested, leveling a quizzical look at the younger man in turn. Balian nodding, walking over to Sofia and knelt by her, her taking a break from the preparation of the paste and opened the bandage on his palm, revealing the burn mark. It had begun to heal very well, but indeed Balian’s action of squeezing his palm into a fist had cracked open the closed skin. Sofia quirking her eyebrows only slightly notably as let out a small sigh.

“I told you, my lord. You have to let the burn rest enough before using this hand”, she said then, grabbing her robes to rip off another piece of silk from it.

“You do not have to tear up your clothes for my sake”, Balian protested, but Sofia only looked indifferent.

“Does it matter? I’ll be rid of these clothes at some point, soon I hope, so it does not matter if they tear”, she answered, now indeed peeling off a long piece of silk from her hem. Another objection forming on Balian’s lips, but he after all said nothing. Just let Sofia place another set of earlier prepared paste on his palm and then bind it, her next turning her attention back to Godfrey. Smiling.

“Forgive me my lord, but your son is a bit reckless”, she said, amusement lacing her voice. Turning Balian slightly embarrassed as he stood up, but Godfrey let out a laugh as locked gazes with Sofia.

“It is quite alright. Old have time to wait”, he told her, lifting up his shirt as Sofia nodded. Her pressing his side a little, examining the wound.

“My lord hospitaler, what do you think of the injury?” she then inquired, hospitaler coming to her and gazed at the now uncovered wound after Sofia had removed the old bandage. Him pouting thoughtfully until then nodded.

“It looks better than I thought”, he admitted, true admiration in his voice, him then glancing at his lord with a smile. “Because of Sofia you might actually survive, my lord, regardless of my words.”

“Your tone of voice makes me think otherwise”, Godfrey retorted good-humoredly, sitting up a little. “If not that face of yours…”

Hospitaler let out a laugh in turn, nodding to Sofia. “He’s in your hands now.”

“Why, wouldn’t it be indeed more reassuring to leave your lord into the hands of God rather than a little girl’s?” Sofia stated, starting to change the bandage. Hospitaler tilting his head at her own sarcasm.

“You’re not that young.”

Sofia quirked almost imperceptible eyebrow again but said nothing. Simply smiled as the sergeant then came over to them, looking at Godfrey’s injury before Sofia had time to cover it. Amazed by it.

“You weren’t lying about Saracen medicine my lord”, he remarked, giving his side an acknowledging nod. “It truly is astonishing.”

“I am not a physician. I can treat injuries, but the knowledge to cure the most of the worst illnesses is out of my comprehension”, Sofia told him, now tying the cloth tightly, before begun to pulverize another doze of those bad smelling berries for Godfrey to drink. Balian handing her a cup of water after she was finished and she poured the powder in it, stirred everything together like earlier before handing it to her lord. Godfrey directing a playful look first at the cup and then at the young woman.

“I bet the last bits of good taste have now vanished from that substance as it lacks the aroma of wine”, he joked, smiling. Sofia’s shoulders dropping as a sign of boredom and she instead cast a demanding look at the elderly man through her eyes, as so expressive they were.

“I can either give you the choice of drinking this yourself, my lord, or I can give your son the duty of making you do it”, Sofia answered calmly, tilting her head expectantly. “After all, not I or any of your charges here wish you to have that fever and pass on.”

“Very well. I cannot argue with your eyes, my child. Their gaze make me thank my luck I never married to face same kind of look from a wife”, Godfrey gave in, taking the cup. Sofia smiling as the others laughed.

“Then let us thank God I am but a mere servant, with no right to patronize you my lord”, she said, now standing up and giving her place to Balian who sat down with his father to talk.

“Which God?” sergeant asked sarcastically, smiling himself. Sofia tipping her head again.

“Both.”

The men then followed as Sofia took the pouch back to where she kept it and patted Sa’ida, her letting out a neigh as Sofia begun to speak to her in Arabic. Until Sofia then left the horse and walked to the edge of their small camp, kneeling and soon the others heard her quietly say another Christian prayer, before she then bent down. Continuing with a traditional Muslim prayer. That woman truly confusing them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Name translations: 
> 
> Sofia (wise), Sa'ida (happy, lucky), Adilah (just, honest, equal) 


	4. Road to Messina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter I've used the current currency of Israel, as I have no clue what currency was used there in 12th century. Also I have no idea about the exchange rate of this currency, so...just throwing in some numbers I found suitable.
> 
> Phrases written in bold; Arabic  
> Phrases written in italics; thoughts, memories, quotes

For about a week they traveled on the road that would take them to Messina, stopping each night for Sofia and the hospitaler to take care of Godfrey’s injury, but during the days they were always on the move…And luckily for them did not come across almost anyone on their path, this fact relieving the men very much, as even them hadn’t quite gotten accustomed nor come to find it normal for a Saracen to travel with them, woman no less…So who could go guessing what other people outside their company would think to find an infidel like her traveling with a group of crusaders? Of course themselves not despising Sofia for this, and not only due to their gratitude of her taking such good care of their lord in fact had quickly begun to regard her as a rather good companion…And a kind one for that matter.

One day they had come upon a poor family walking along the road and without much of a thought Sofia had removed all her jewelry, handing them over to the family saying she had no need for them anymore. Which was of course true, but the act itself was what made the men admire her nature, although said nothing of it out loud. But nevertheless Sofia did not part with her mother's cross, which still hung around her neck under the tunic despite of her relinquishing from all of her other valuables.

But even though the days passed with them not facing any unneeded troubles, the closer they came to Messina the more worried the men’s minds however grew. For there soon was no way to hide Sofia from the eyes of the other crusaders they would inevitably come across at their destination. Sofia standing out from the more ragged and weathered travelers in her bright, royal robes, riding an equally majestic horse, even if she had given up her jewelry. And she would have to stay that way, because the road they had taken didn’t side with any towns for them to be able to acquire her fresh clothing.

And so, about two days before their arrival to the city of Messina they reached a Pilgrim camp, which all of the crusaders and other travelers mostly consisting of indeed pilgrims used as a place for rest before the final stretch of the journey. It was early morning and the coldness of the winter although left notably behind still bit into the travelers’ limbs as they rode forward, tightly wrapped into their cloaks, seeing the countless figures of many nationalities with their supplies crowding the outskirts of the camp.

Sofia had once more disguised herself with the veil, partly out of mere habit, but the men had thought it best for her to hide her appearance. Figuring that maybe if the people gathered at the camp saw a woman dressed in expensive clothes her face covered, peasant or knight alike they would take her as someone important and hence leave her alone without approaching her. But still the group dared not to even think of leaving Sofia alone, for her very presence here could be dangerous, not only to her but to them as well if any of these present crusaders realized she was a Saracen, which still was highly possible. Because if that happened, the men didn’t know would they be able to protect her from possible fanatics that tended to be amongst these hundreds of crusaders riddling the vicinity along with the equal amount of common folk as far as eye could see.

“You’ll be safe. Just make sure some of us is with you at all times…And do not remove your veil or speak, even if necessary”, Godfrey told Sofia, leaning a bit towards her even his companions had noticed it to have become harder for him to ride. Sofia nodding, glancing around at the colorful mass of travelers.

“And do not treat me as better than you while we’re here. It would be odd for a noblewoman like you to act humbly against a mere man as myself”, Godfrey added, a warning tint to his voice. Sofia nodding once more, although his words slightly amused her while coming form a man who was undoubtedly known by many of these crusaders as a baron back in Holy Land.

“I understand”, she said quietly, then glancing around a bit again, this time at the surrounding crusaders who’d camped sporadically amongst the pilgrims, usually as a group of a few men such as Godfrey’s party. But then an unknown voice reached their ears, claiming their attention.

“To kill an infidel is not murder, the Pope has said. It is the path to heaven”, it said, with broken English, upon gazing ahead of them the group soon seeing a priest lounging on a boulder of rock that stood beside the trail they would soon ride along. Him locking gazes with the people passing him, as if demanding them to listen to his fanatical preachings, until his eyes now shifted over to the approaching crusaders. The man smiling brightly at them.

“To kill an infidel is not murder, the Pope has said. It is the path to heaven”, he repeated, following the passing group with his gaze who instead averted their own eyes from the man with a rather irritated air to them, not showing much concord or lack there of on their faces except for Balian who only glared at the priest as passed him.

But when the priest’s eyes next hit on Sofia’s veiled form his smile vanished, Sofia stopping the mare beside him and staring at him from under her veil with those all-telling eyes, clear flicker of contempt in them. Them eyeing at each other for a brief moment, the priest arriving to evident conclusions as he saw the shade of skin visible from beneath the fabric and was about to perhaps issue them after gauging at the veiled woman, until a hand took a hold of Sa'ida's reins. Balian pulling Sofia's horse after the others.

“You weren’t supposed to be alone”, Balian whispered, looking ahead earnestly. Sofia making another slightly amused smile as glanced at him.

“You heard. You could gain a direct passage to heaven by just killing a heretic. By killing me you could get to your God when you die. Earn his forgiveness and absolve yourself of any sin…Does it not tempt you, my lord? Such opportunity for you, who seek salvation from Holy Land, to be redeemed…?” she questioned. Although her voice had been heedless, her words still holding much significance to them which then caused Balian’s jaw to clench. Him looking down briefly.

“I have sinned enough”, he said, grimly, soon raising his eyes. “Killing you would not save me. But condemn me further into indelible damnation, from which none of my tries to erase my sins would spear me. Then not even God could absolve me.”

Sofia thought a moment as examined this younger man from the others of this group she had traveled with for a couple of weeks now. Her then smiling at his words, for she had been able to see what laid behind them.

“You have a good heart, my lord”, she remarked, this time around casting him a fleeting, encouraging glance. “God will see that and take it into consideration while weighing on your soul after death. So do not fear for your sins. You will be offered a chance to redeem them. Either by God or someone else.”

Sofia then curbed her horse forward, leaving Balian to direct a surprised look after her. Thinking Sofia to have turned out to be a very quiet character during this time they had so far traveled, quite like Balian considered himself to be, but when she spoke she spoke the truth…and sense. But even he shared the reasoning in her words still he couldn’t rid himself of the quilt gnawing at his heart. He had done wrong. He had done sin…And aside for his own he was also responsible of his wife’s sins, only adding to them.

“Killing an infidel is not murder, the Pope has said. It is the path to heaven!” Balian heard the priest shout out one more time, looking after the travelers who’d by then ridden a bit farther away from him. Balian turning his head a tad in irritation, but now continued to ride forward himself. Them faithfully following the trail that led throughout the wide area, which was filled with tents and other resting places for hundreds of pilgrims and crusaders. Once the terrain soon turned too crowded for them to continue on horseback, Balian jumping down from his horse along with the sergeant and the hospitaler, only Godfrey and Sofia staying on the saddle, for the elder crusader was injured and Sofia had to keep up the impression of an esteemed noblewoman.

They reached the end of the small hill they had arrived to, and as Sofia let her eyes wander she now saw a man, a crusader, notice their group approaching from a certain distance away. Sofia examining the man in turn and soon discovered him to be someone of great importance concluding by his attire, especially his cloak that had a fur trimming, and the far larger number of men accompanying him. Templar Knights to be exact, himself wearing the distinct uniform of one.

The man stood, gazing at the nearing party a thoughtful look on his bearded face as they soon passed him as well, the man’s eyes mostly remaining on that one unfamiliar man at the head of the group whom he didn’t remember to have ever seen in Godfrey’s company before. Not recognizing the man, and it made him suspicious, but then his eyes soon happened upon Sofia and there was even greater surprise displayed on his face. For he was taken aback to see a woman, of high status by the looks of it, travel with a group of mere crusaders out of which none was of any remarkable importance or title. But this woman did not even grant him a single glance as rode past him, following the men.

Not long after Godfrey’s men found themselves a spot to arrange a camp to, and after their small makeshift tents had been put up now that there was no longer any trees to offer them shelter from any possible unexpected shifts in weather, the hospitaler opened up the bandage Sofia had changed to Godfrey’s injury last evening. His expression turning a bit worried by the look of the ulcer, but said nothing as he then put some water into a bowl and commenced to clean the wound. Sofia to have seated beside them, to follow the hospitaler’s actions, while Balian had knelt near the fireplace to prepare a sleeping berth for himself. But as Godfrey’s eyes then rose up from staring at his side Sofia also shifted her gaze and saw that same man, the crusader who had followed their arrival, walk towards them a rather derisive look on his overall conceited face.

The hospitaler also peered behind himself and frowned slightly due to the sight of the man he obviously recognized, Balian standing up as the man in question arrived and stopped right in front of the tent. The man then thinking a moment as his eyes took in the remaining of Godfrey’s men until briefly settled onto the lord himself, directing as well a scornful look at Balian as beckoned at him.

“Who is this?” he demanded, examining Balian from head to toe in a manner that signaled him to see him as nothing but a worthless dog from the streets.

“My son”, Godfrey stated simply, Sofia noticing the man to be surprised by this as returned Balian’s serious stare. But as his attention then shifted back to Godfrey he broke into a smile.

“Would I had fought you when you were still capable of making bastards”, he mused, laughing as eyed at Godfrey still nothing but degradingly. Sofia angling her jaw as stared at this arrogant man quite sharply, instantly hating the very sight of him, although she appeared altogether calm. Balian looking at the man his own gaze filled with suppressed vexation that he didn't even try to conceal, but Godfrey only countered the man's jeer with a jaded look.

“I knew your mother when she was making hers”, he retorted, Sofia’s eyes flickering to him as Godfrey then leveled a remarkable look at the man. Sizing him up sternly. “Fortunately, you’re too old to be mine.”

The man was still smiling, but Sofia could see him to have been angered by Godfrey’s response, even he managed to mask it behind another chuckle. Nodding.

“All will be settled”, he stated. But then upon feeling Sofia’s gaze on him his eyes moved over to the veiled woman he had seen earlier but not until then had acknowledged, finding her to be now sitting next to Godfrey. The man turning thoughtful again during his brief examination of her veiled figure until dared to step inside the tent, a hint of smile now playing on his lips.

“And who is this?” he inquired, his tone now completely changed, colored by clear fascination. Attraction, him gazing at Sofia curiously, who only returned his stare calmly, her eyes now but deadpan that showed no emotion. The man smiling, offering his hand to her.

“I am Guy de Lusignan”, he declared, saying it in such a smug manner that it made Balian to wrinkle his forehead for an even greater irritation. Only him then taking notice of Sofia to actually jolt at the mention of this man’s name she had never met either…One that still left her in a state of sudden shock as Guy then leant lower, closer to her, ever smiling as his eyes scoured all that was visible of her face.

“Would I be obliged to know your name, my lady?” he asked, clearly trying to charm Sofia by his evident status coming off of him while giving the sheer fabric concealing her features intrigued looks. “And perhaps see what is hidden under this veil in addition to these eyes?”

Guy stared at this what appeared to be a beautiful young woman by those strong, captivating eyes showing behind the veil expectantly, but she did not answer. Just stared back at him looking as proud as a noblewoman would and raised her hand, however instead of removing the veil at his behest and revealing her most probably as enchanting looks before then landing it on his awaiting palm for him to kiss, she put on her hood and dropped her gaze. Starting to stare forward and ignored him without a response, Guy not being able to believe her to have just bypassed his advances so easily and it was true that he was shocked by this woman’s utter disregard of him.

“She is too important for you to lay eyes on her face”, Godfrey cut in, Guy turning around to look at him in slight bewilderment. Godfrey smiling slightly at his visible displeasure. “You are not worthy to address her as she has let you understand. Now, if you please would leave us. We have a long journey ahead and wish to rest.”

Sofia now detected distinct anger in Guy’s eyes, but he then straightened, saying nothing in response. And nodding his goodbyes solely to her he soon left, his accompanied men following him. Balian turning to send an annoyed look after him but his gaze shifted back to Sofia briefly, to see her eyes wander around a bit, nervously and she sighed, causing Balian to frown. Why had she gasped after hearing that man’s name? Upon considering this him observing Sofia to now stare down, lost to her thoughts, missing the way he was currently studying her as her mind mulled over the previous visit of Godfrey’s apparent not so friendly acquaintance.

It couldn’t be. It just couldn’t be that of all men, she had to cross paths with this particular one…Sofia couldn’t believe it, and despite of him to have already left and the probability of her having not to meet up with him ever again, she still couldn’t help but wish to never be forced to remove her veil in front of him…Sofia sighing again quietly at this thought, figuring no one to have indeed noticed.

“Are you alright Sofia?” Godfrey’s voice however asked then and she gasped once more when his hand landed on hers, her still only smiling at him.

“Yes. I am alright. Thank you, my lord.”

“What did we agree on? You are such an important person that even Guy de Lusignan cannot address you! So I am not your lord here”, Godfrey corrected, his tone taking a turn to mischievous. “But you handled that quite well. I am sure he isn’t used to be turned down by women at the mention of his name…Especially then, in such a silent, dismissive manner even.”

The men laughed a bit at that, Sofia joining them by simply smiling. Her shaking her head.

“I do not even know him”, she said, next casting a sharp look towards the said man’s campsite. “Besides he disgusts me. In that brief instant he was here I could see that there’s nothing good in his heart, if he even has one. So I know he wouldn’t be capable of showing affection to me or any other woman for that matter.”

Balian became suspicious. Sofia didn’t know that man? But then why did she seem to despise him this much, after just one meeting? Sure he had found the man disagreeable himself, but he could tell there was something in her eyes that told of something more than mere dislike. However without clarifying her Sofia then stood and walked out of the tent, stopping a couple of paces away from Balian and allowed her gaze to scour their surroundings. Balian directing a furtive glance towards her before soon joined her, also taking in the barren scenery.

“My father told me your story”, he begun. Naturally unable to see how Sofia’s lips curved up into a smile, but could detect it through her eyes that next curtly met his in amusement.

“I wonder what kind of story he told you, my lord, as only I am capable of relating what has truly happened to me”, she answered.

“He told me the same everyone already knows”, Balian stated simply, Sofia looking at him now curiously.

“And you wish to know more?”

Balian didn’t answer at first. But after thinking a moment he soon matched Sofia’s stare, continuing. “My father told me you are the youngest of five daughters and three sons….And that crusaders were accused of your kidnapping, which almost inflicted a war ten years ago. The peace agreed with Saladin has always been unstable and your abduction and believed murder was probably meant to result in a war, to make the possibility of peace impossible to ever again achieve.”

Sofia was silent for a brief moment. At the echo of Balian’s words seeing flashes of distant memories, herself standing at the courtyard of her father’s palace when suddenly a hand was pressed to her mouth. The ball she had been throwing for the family dog falling as her older sister Nura begun to scream, taking a hold of her but was shoved away, one of the kidnappers taking out a blade and lashed it towards her. Sofia seeing her sister’s blood splatter on the ground as the hand wielding the weapon then grabbed her and raised her up, Sofia now hearing herself scream for help as the men took her away, the dog barking, the men running towards the entrance they’d sneaked in from…

“The men who kidnapped me weren’t crusaders”, she told Balian, breaking free from the remembrance with a blink. “They were only disguised men traders, who wanted to raise the beliefs of the peace being compromised by unsatisfied Templars, who broke into the palace of the king Saladin and after wounding her elder daughter and killing countless of guards escaped the youngest daughter with them…The war would’ve been inflicted and the said act of war would’ve caused such commotion that my kidnapping would not have been considered as any different…That was what those men wanted. But thank Allah it never happened. An actual war…If you can say that as battles are endless in Jerusalem.”

Balian gazed at Sofia and saw her gaze up to the cloudy sky. Her eyes now thoughtful, but somehow sad at the same time…Longing in them maybe? No wonder. She had been taken away from her family and home when she had only been a child, forced to live such horrible life to survive…Balian’s eyes that had been gauging Sofia now falling in pity until the glum atmosphere was cut by Godfrey’s loud moan of pain. Both Balian and Sofia turning in unison before the hospitaler then waved at the young woman to come over.

“Come Sofia, I am in need of your assistance”, he called and Sofia nodded, gathering her robes and hurried over to the pair of men.

“Can you do something about this?” the hospitaler asked, looking from Sofia to the wound and back while Sofia examined the clearly infected ulcer. Frowning in the end.

“I have one way. But it won’t necessarily bring any results. It works only on very rare occasions and has healed a man only a few times as far as I know”, she answered, about to stand to go retrieve her pouch, but was surprised by seeing it then stick out next to her shoulder. Sofia looking up to see Balian.

“Here”, he said, Sofia pulling her veil down and gave him a nod with a smile, accepting the pouch he was offering to her.

“Thank you my lord.”

Balian returned back to the fire, once more him and the sergeant watching from the sidelines as the hospitaler and Sofia treated Godfrey. Unsurprisingly Sofia doing something the men had never laid witness to before, but they had learnt to trust her that much to know she would do everything she could to help the man who had taken her under his protection.

Balian’s gaze fell into the shy flames. Feeling the worry that had continued to grow every day within him due to his father’s ever worsening state to twist in his gut. At first it had looked like Sofia’s extraordinary treatment would’ve begun to heal him very well, but recently Godfrey had started to show signs of weakening…And not only Balian had noticed this, but so had everyone who’d had to watch the man to succumb to his injury. Despite of Sofia’s best efforts.

* * *

Two days later the group arrived to Messina, Italy, from where they would then sail to Jerusalem when the time would come. The city that was also known to be frequented not only by the pilgrims but also traders of all kind was indeed riddled with priests of different religions, preaching either against the bloodshed executed at Holy Land as an offense against God, or speaking in favor of it, as the priest had back at the Pilgrim camp. Referring to this senseless slaughter as a necessary evil, the only way to reach heaven’s gates. And like at the camp as well the city of Messina was swarming with soldiers, all either on their way to Holy Land or back from there.

Sofia rode in middle of the men, who in such fashion were keeping even a better eye on her now when they had entered the city walls, for here if anywhere it was highly dangerous for anyone to realize her to be a Saracen. There were of course other Muslims living in this city, but if found wandering about alone she would be in an immediate danger of dying if any crusader would come upon her.

Godfrey had taken a quick turn for worse during the previous day, even though both Sofia and the hospitaler had continued to do their best to treat him. And now too weak to ride on his own he was laying on a wagon, Balian riding right behind him, from time to time eyeing at his father warily. But also concerned by the man’s pallid grown demeanor all of a sudden Sofia stopped her horse and dismounted, handing the reins over to Balian and climbed onto the wagon as well. Sitting next to Godfrey who had begun to look even more feverish, quizzical Balian following as she next unwrapped the bandage once more, soon her forehead setting into another frown.

“We must get him somewhere to rest. His wound cannot take any more travel either on horseback or wagon”, she informed them, looking up to the hospitaler until turned her attention back to the injured man’s side, touching it lightly. Godfrey flinching, letting out a breathless moan.

“There is a house used for healing nearby”, the hospitaler answered. “We are on our way there.”

Sofia nodded, then looking at Balian, extending her hand. “My lord, would you hand me my bag?” she questioned, having not to be told twice Balian stretching backwards to grab the same pouch from Sa’ida’s saddle. After receiving it Sofia taking out yet another herb, soon raising the elder man’s head.

“Eat this, my lord. It shall make you feel more comfortable”, she told him gently, placing the small leaf of dried plant over Godfrey’s lips and he allowed her place it in his mouth. Eating it, and not long after swallowing soon truly beginning to feel better, his mind clearer from the fever.

“Thank you my child”, he said, Sofia smiling behind the veil. “Maybe these stinking herbs of yours aren’t that bad after all…Except for the smell, which could make anyone die.”

Balian made half a smile at that as glanced at his father. Sofia placing her hand on Godfrey’s.

“You’ve been good to me and I wish you to recover soon”, she said sincerely, but then looked amused, arching her eyebrows. “But if you are able to make jokes like this, my lord, I would suspect you to be perfectly fine in no time.”

Godfrey let out a weak laugh, looking up. “I hope so my Sofia. I hope so…”

They continued for a bit longer until the wagon stopped at the end of the road they had been following for a quite while, reaching the mentioned establishment which was mostly used to lodge and heal the soldiers injured in Holy Land or others infected with common diseases. For it was very large as to be capable of housing many people at the same time.

Godfrey was quickly shifted on a palanquin and carried inside, throughout the corridors to one of the more public rooms with a free bed to be treated. The house having an open ceiling at the middle of it, leaving the small, round yard under the sky to bask in the sunlight as the corridors circled around it in a shape of a square, entrances into separate rooms puncturing the stone walls from time to time, stairs leading down to the yard and further to the lower storeys.

Godfrey's company were given a room each, where they left their belongings and could finally dedicate a moment to wash off the dirt of the many days’ travel from themselves. And once refreshed they met each other at the yard about an hour later.

“My lord, would you accompany me?” Sofia asked and bowed slightly to the sergeant, who looked at her in confusion.

“What do you mean Sofia? Accompany you where?” he inquired, glancing at the others who were as clueless, until realization took over their bafflement once Sofia explained the nature of her request.

“I am sorry to bother you my lord, but you said I was not to take to the streets on my own”, she said. “And now has come the time for me to try to seek some new clothes for myself. I cannot further move outside in these ones anymore, as it was seen two days ago that I attract too much attention to myself. More than I should.”

The three men saw Sofia raise her robe made from that elegant orange silk and they nodded in concur, the sergeant smiling and nodding the second time in understanding.

“Of course I will come with you. Worry not”, he agreed and Sofia smiled thankfully, putting on the veil once more. “But where do you intend to get the money from?”

“Her horse”, the hospitaler told him, glancing over to Sofia. “She said she was to sell her.”

“She is a rare breed and from a good bloodline”, Sofia elaborated. “She’ll give me enough money to buy new clothing and maybe even pay a little to you for you kindness…After all if it hadn’t been for you I’d still be traveling as a prisoner.”

“No, no, my dear girl, you need not to pay us for anything!” the hospitaler declined for all of them, smiling, patting Sofia’s shoulder a little. “You have paid enough by taking such good care of our lord.”

Sofia was surprised but she then smiled with her eyes. Balian looking down momentarily as he agreed. It might’ve simply been Sofia’s skills that had kept his father so strong this long, whereas he would’ve otherwise perished long before they’d reach Messina.

“My lord Balian, your father is ready to receive you”, suddenly a man spoke up from up the stairs, waking his and the others’ attention.

“Has he asked for me?” Balian questioned, the manservant nodding. The sergeant then clearing his throat.

“Shall we then, my lady?” the Englishman asked and started to walk towards the exit after giving the hospitaler a remarkable look, Sofia bowing to him and Balian slightly, before following the sergeant as Balian went up the stairs. On his way to the room his father had been placed to rest.

* * *

“You cannot be serious”, the sergeant queried incredulously from the horse merchant, staring at the man his eyebrows drawn into a deep line. Unable to accept what the man had just said to them.

He and Sofia had managed to find his shop not far away from the sanitarium, but the owner had turned out to be a complete crook of a man. Sofia measuring the merchant from behind her veil, as well realizing what kind of a weasel he was, as the sergeant continued to stare at the man sternly. His eyes poignant, him now pointing at Sofia’s horse as his voice rose in outrage.

“This horse is Arabic and of select breed! It is worth at least 1000 shekels more than what you are offering!”

“I am sorry sir, but a fine horse such as this won’t be sold”, the merchant answered indifferently, eyeing at Sofia with as great disregard. “This horse has been born to carry noblemen, but all such fine men buy their horses from elsewhere. So as an act of a friend I can purchase this horse from you, but will not give any more than offered as investing a larger sum would bring me nothing but trouble after.”

“Listen”, the sergeant said, taking a step forward. “This horse is not one of these mix-blooded hacks you seem to have here to trouble you! Lady Sofia’s horse is many times better than any of these so called…”

“Done”, Sofia hurried to say and leveled a significant look at the man, stepping forth herself. “I am ready to settle for 400 shekels.”

“Sofia, this horse is over three times that worth…” the sergeant tried, but Sofia raised her hand for him to be quiet and handed the reins over to the merchant.

“Good”, the man huffed, starting to count the money, the sergeant shaking his head by Sofia’s side. The merchant soon dropping the coins into Sofia’s open palm, but clearly was reluctant to pay even that amount to a woman, as usually it was men who did business with him. But with his hard stare the sergeant observed that the man did not cheat in counting, along with Sofia’s equally careful gaze that followed each coin as they fell into her hand, until the said sum had been paid.

“Thank you”, Sofia said and slipped the money into a pouch. Then turning over to her horse and patted her, the animal letting out a quiet neigh in response. “Now, where we could find a shop to buy clothes?”

“Walk to the end of this road”, the merchant answered dryly, absentminded and turned his back to Sofia, who wasn’t affected by his rudeness as it was usual, just took off to the instructed direction. The sergeant sighing and was by her side with a couple of strides.

“Sofia, you do realize you just lost a small fortune? That man bought your horse with a price way under her worth”, he said. But Sofia only shook her head.

“I am only pleased to have some money of my own. I don’t care how much. Just enough that I can buy new clothes to journey to Jerusalem”, she replied. The sergeant sighing again, but broke into an eventual smile.

“Very well then, it is your money. You do what you want with it.”

They found the clothing shop very soon and entered, as previously agreed this time the sergeant doing the shopping. Choosing a set of men’s clothing, a long tunic and pants under it with a robe to cover her feminine frame, and one simple and easy dress for Sofia to wear before their final journey to Holy Land. The sergeant also purchasing a set of daggers for Sofia to attach to her waist to increase the illusion of her as a man, for it was after all unheard of a woman to carry weapons.

The owner of the clothing shop was kind enough to let Sofia change at the backroom. And after she was finished they returned the same route, however deviating from their way just a little to intentionally end up at the harbor. The place riddled with people and there were numerous ships at the horizon from many European countries, coming or going to Holy Land…And from there they also found Balian, standing amongst the throng of people during his own sightseeing tour, until he noticed the arrived sergeant.

The sergeant and Sofia walked over to him through the crowd, the men nodding to each other. But Sofia's attention was then instantly caught by the prayers of her people that sounded in the air, coming from the shoreline.

“Where’s Sofia?” Balian asked, glancing around in search of her, even she stood just in his vicinity. The sergeant smirking, nodding towards the disguised figure next to Balian who then turned his eyes back to her, gasping as indeed saw a man standing there, but whose face was covered by a black scarf, only his eyes visible for Balian to see. But it was the eyes that then told him who this man actually was, him recognizing that same wise and lively gaze that looked back at him. Balian eyeing at her in awe.

“Sofia?” he asked in doubt, Sofia smiling behind the scarf. But Balian saw the smile in her eyes as always. The sergeant nodding towards her for the second time, folding his arms.

“She looks like a real man, don’t you think? It would fool me as long as she doesn’t talk”, he stated with a new smile, wider due to his younger companion’s current expression. Balian blinking and directing another gauging look at Sofia, now noting the daggers strapped to her waist. Yes…She looked like a man, although now he couldn’t go mistaking the eyes looking about from the slit of the black fabric covering her face.

“You’re right”, Balian admitted, turning to Sofia amused himself.

“This wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to personate as a man”, Sofia revealed, now walking past them towards a ledge that offered an open a view to the sea. Balian and thesergeant following suite, stopping by her side after weaving through the countless soldiers loitering by the ledge at the street. And from up there Sofia indeed saw her people, praying for Allah down at the rocky shore while shouted their prayers into the air, one after another bowing towards Mecca.

“Who are those men?” Balian asked as eyed at them curiously, squinting his eyes due to the bright sunlight.

“Muslims”, the sergeant answered, until froze for a moment, glancing at Sofia a bit warily. “Saracens”, he added. Balian turning thoughtful.

“And they’re allowed their prayers?” he questioned in disbelief. The sergeant looking at him remarkably.

“If they pay the tax."

“ **Subhena Rabi Alladin** ”, Sofia interjected, the men both glancing at her until the sergeant smiled, facing Balian.

“ _Praise be to God. It is proper to praise him_ ”, he translated, Balian having a realization.

“Sounds like our prayers”, he noted, finding concur on the sergeant’s face.

“ ***** We believe in God and in that which has been revealed to us, and in that which was given to the prophets from their Lord. We do not make any distinction between any of them, and to him do we submit”, Sofia said then suddenly, surprising the men again. But in her eyes was no smile this time around, as she had turned now rather blue.

“That is said about Christianity and Islam in Koran”, Sofia explained, soon casting her eyes down. “10 years ago this was a free land to pray out of the desire of a heart, and men weren’t taxed for their desire to talk to God…”

The men gave her a slight compassionate look each, seeing her point but after all said nothing, just stared forward. Until then Sofia whipped around, once more walking past the men.

“Where are you going?” Balian asked, but Sofia only gave him a serious look back, raising the pouch containing the remains of her funds.

“To pay my tax”, she answered curtly, then vanishing into the commotion of the docks. And soon Balian and the sergeant saw her figure to appear on the rocks below, them watching her to also kneel and start to pray like she did twice a day.

“Will she be alright by herself?” Balian wondered, glancing at the sergeant who only nodded.

“She looks like a man so she should be alright. Besides she seems kind of dangerous with those daggers. I doubt anyone will want to attack her…”

The sergeant flashed him a sarcastic smirk and Balian looked amused himself, glancing down at Sofia. But then the sergeant patted his shoulder.

“Come, we must eat!” he urged, right after also walking away and leading Balian to some distance away from the harbor, to a place they could sit down to have some decent food.

Balian was sitting at their table waiting, before the sergeant soon came back, dropping three plates before him and gave him an amused look after seeing the younger man's reaction to the presented edibles. Balian eyeing at the large crab in front of him suspiciously, never to have seen such strange food before.

“It’s good!” the sergeant reassured with a knowing expression, and quirking his eyebrow a little Balian said nothing as took hold of the crab. Following the sergeant's example by cracking the crustacean's shell, who unlike Balian seemed to be very accustomed to this kind of sustenance.

“Shouldn’t we have taken Sofia with us?” he asked after a moment. The sergeant shaking his head.

“It is time for Ramadan for Muslims”, he explained. “She wouldn’t eat with us as it is daytime. She is allowed to eat only between sundown and sunrise as long as the Ramadan lasts.”

Balian turned pensive. “How long is that?”

“30 days.”

Balian said nothing to that either and just continued eating in silence. Until then suddenly someone tapped the table impatiently on Balian’s left, demanding his attention with a showy riding stick. Him giving it a questionable look as the latest tap caused it to near his plate, until he raised his gaze to see Guy de Lusignan stand at the head of their table, the man they’d met a couple of days ago. Appeared out of nowhere, staring at him as arrogantly as ever, which caused Balian to next simply turn his head away, ignoring the man.

“When the king is dead, Jerusalem will be no place for friends of Muslims, or traitors to Christendom… like your father”, Guy said, placing his riding stick now to Balian’s chest who still ignored him, taking a sip from his cup. The sergeant looking at Balian but neither he reacted to Guy’s remark.

“I am Guy de Lusignan. Remember that name”, Guy continued, as smugly as was apparently typical for him, next flicking his stick up to Balian’s chin as he did nothing to signify to be listening. “And me.”

Not much fazed by his blusterous words Balian now grabbed the stick, yanking it from Guy’s grip and placed it onto the table, continuing his meal. And as expected there was suppressed rage visible on Guy’s features, but he still only looked down at Balian dismissively as the sergeant instead shot a careful look at him.

“Keep it”, Guy stated, turning, starting to walk away from them. But Balian’s voice then called out to him just as Sofia walked through the crowd, freezing momentarily at the sight of Guy.

“My lord!” Balian’s slightly mocking voice exclaimed as he raised the riding stick, gazing at it now notably irritated. “How will you ride if you have no stick to beat the horse?”

Balian now finally faced Guy as threw the stick back to him, frowning as well in distaste that equaled Guy's. But then he noticed Sofia to be standing a bit farther away him, eyeing at the said man somewhat tensely, where Guy said nothing in response as caught the stick. But as he was about to turn away and Balian’s attention went back to his food, Sofia stepped aside to give Guy enough space to go by. As her intention to walk past him unnoticed, but at the same moment someone pushed her accidentally against Guy, him staggering a couple of steps backwards due to the impact.

Sofia tensed and quickly straightened, giving the man as well a taut look as met Guy's gaze, Balian and the sergeant now turning to see them after hearing the slight surprised uproar of the passerbys, startled by the occurrence. Sofia taking a wary step backwards as she saw the fury on Guy’s face once he examined her for a brief moment, letting out an angry breath, and before Sofia could dodge he slashed the stick at her. Causing her to fall to the ground, her companions standing up alarmed as Guy then only gave her a poisonous leer, pointing the stick at her.

“You thank you heathen God I didn’t bring my sword. Because then you would be dead, Saracen, as this is not the Holy Kingdom where our laws protect you and your kin”, he spat, soon finally leaving.

Sofia sent a contemptuous look after him herself until sighed, standing up and placed a hand to her brow, which bled. Her sighing again as walked over to the table where the men were waiting, following her with their eyes as she took a seat next to Balian. Him turning towards her.

“Are you alright?” he asked, measuring Sofia, but saw her only close her eyes. Them soon reflecting everything she felt at the moment when she opened them again.

“Yes. It isn’t my first time to be hit”, she said, now digging out a piece of saved silk from the pouch and pressed it onto the bleeding bruise. “That wasn’t the hardest hit I’ve received either.”

The men exchanged a look, a glum one, although said nothing. But then the sergeant directed a glance to the direction Guy had vanished to and looked at Balian seriously, pointing after the man.

“He will be king in Jerusalem one day”, he warned. But Balian only looked at him indifferently, continuing to eat.

“If that day comes all my people will die”, Sofia said quietly, plain anger making an appearance on her face then. Hatred, which was rare to find in her. “I knew it. Ever since I first looked into that man’s eyes I knew his soul is as infernal as hell. And that is where he is going after death.”

“Thank the Lord he did not have his sword on him”, the sergeant breathed, looking at her now equally grimly. “Then you would’ve really lost your life.”

Balian glanced at Sofia who nodded.

“I know. That man does not hesitate to kill, were it his own brother or a mere woman”, she claimed confidently, contempt also tinting her usually so gentle voice.

“That might be true as well.”

The men started to eat again, but then the sergeant turned to Sofia.

“You lost all your money already?” he asked after the short silence, slightly amused again. Sofia giving him one of those all-telling looks.

“No, as it seems for my joy that the tax for praying is not very high, although I still do not accept God’s mercy to be limited by certain amount of coins.”

“So you sold the horse?” Balian asked. The sergeant raising his brows.

“We did. But the merchant was a thug for a businessman. He robbed Sofia of over half the price of the horse’s true worth.”

“How much?” Balian inquired.

“400 hundred shekels.”

Now also Balian turned to give Sofia an astonished glance after wrinkling his brows in slight outrage of his own. Sofia sighing, simply focusing to the cloth she now pulled from her brow.

“That’ll do just fine. Besides because of my position I should not even be allowed to have much of my own fortune”, Sofia answered, giving the men a curt look each until fell into her thoughts, the men soon observing her to turn her sights to the sea.

They could plainly see it from her…How she dearly missed her home, Jerusalem, now probably picturing the land of her childhood in her mind, which was awaiting her just behind those wild, vast waves that stretched on for miles on end…Not however too far for her to be unable to hear it call out to her.

* * *

When they returned, a servant was immediately sent for Sofia to come and help Godfrey, whose condition had apparently worsened radically, as the person who had treated him before. Balian to have not seen actual surprise on her face due to these news and in fact she had seemed to have been rather expecting this, only nodding to the servant and then instantly retiring to her room to change into the purchased dress.

Many hours she spent in Godfrey’s room, in which the man had been transferred the moment his health had abruptly declined, and Balian who had at first impatiently waited behind the closed door to hear news, had finally gone over to the yard and sat down by the fire set alight there. Soon finding himself praying, and there he remained until Sofia finally came out of his father’s room long after nightfall, unlike before now dressed into the white dress and having a simple scarf tied around her head, kneeling onto the ledge and starting to pray herself. This time taking her cross into her hands, and after noticing her and watching her from afar Balian could make out the words of the Lord’s Prayer from her lips, as it was what he also had been repeating in his mind for the last hours.

Balian stayed beside the fire, soon resuming his stare into the flames and continued his own prayers, until then the sergeant soon after emerged from one of the corridors leading deeper into the house, first exchanging a remarkable look with Sofia who stood instantly, until the man searched the premises for Balian. After spotting him hurrying over to the edge of the corridor.

“Balian!” he shouted, waking Balian from his musings and the younger man looked up, to see the sergeant wave at him. Balian standing as well, slipping his wife’s cross back under his shirt while raced over to the stairs, descending them to the upper corridor. Walking to where the sergeant stood in wait of him, exchanging a quick look himself with Sofia, who gave him small smile. But it was a sad one.

“You must get changed, Balian”, the sergeant prompted, leading him then further down the corridor. “There are men waiting for you to help you get ready. You must make haste.”

“Get ready for what?” Balian asked quizzically, but didn’t receive an answer as the sergeant now brushed past him to go to Sofia, Balian turning a bit to see them converse awhile. Both looking rather despondent, them then glancing back at Balian, as he released a deep sigh. Maybe being able to guess what was it he had to prepare for and took off, going to his room as instructed. Indeed finding two men waiting there. Quick look given to their attire establishing them as Templars.

Balian himself was changed into a simple white robe. And as he soon was led to a room not far from his own, he met Sofia and the sergeant at the doorway. Sofia’s eyes this time not revealing anything as she then suddenly bowed to him deeply, causing Balian to turn confused until she then walked away along the corridor, the sergeant instead guiding Balian inside the room without a word, him following.

The sergeant walked past him with quick steps, his features now quite earnest. Balian seeing a couple of more Templars to be standing behind a curtain which hung in middle of the short path that lead to the main room. The sergeant peeking through them before soon turning to Balian.

“Hurry”, he urged, walking through the curtains, Balian still following and passing the Templars in even greater bafflement, who instead now followed after him with slow steps. Balian having no idea of what was happening, but he gained his answer soon after the sergeant next stopped behind a next set of curtains, facing him.

“I can go no further”, he informed him, then opening the curtain for Balian to enter alone. Balian giving him a quizzical look but walked into the main room, now indeed seeing the answer with his own eyes as they instantly focused on his very weary looking father, sitting on a chair in front of an altar that was filled with lit candles. The hospitaler standing behind him, one more man siding Godfrey on his right side, third man looming behind him and yet another Templar stood on the hospitaler’s left side. Balian having a realization as he now understood the sad look Sofia had given him after spending all those hours in treating Godfrey, apparently for no avail…For his father was dying.

“Get on your knees”, the hospitaler now told him, breaking the silence, taking a couple of small steps forward and nodded towards the spot in front of Godfrey. His countenance as grim as had been the sergeant’s.

Balian obeyed, kneeling in front of his father, eyeing at him in woe of his own until the hospitaler and the man on the other side of Godfrey helped him stand. Balian noticing how bad his condition had developed as he panted at the effort, having to exert himself to indeed do something as simple as stand or sit, Godfrey still managing to stay on his own feet and he next looked deep into Balian’s eyes. His son returning his gaze serene, although sorrow begun to gnaw at his heart like the quilt had before, causing it to lurch at the sound of his father’s wheezing breaths that were turning more infrequent by the minute.

“Be without fear in the face of your enemies”, Godfrey started, his speech as well coming out highly effortfully, his voice thin and breathless. But still adamant and firm. “Be brave and upright that God may love thee. Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong. That is your oath…”

A new realization made an appearance on Balian’s mien as he continued to match his father's stare. Knowing then what was it he really had been told to prepare for, left somewhat speechless by this Balian simply listening in silence, although finding himself still unable to hide his all the while growing awareness of Godfrey’s near passing. Him then casting his eyes down as saw Godfrey to remove a ring from his finger with trembling hands, soon offering it to Balian, who took it without hesitation. But he was then taken aback as his father backhanded him right across the face, making his head fly to the side, while the hospitaler leant back from Godfrey to avoid getting hit in the process.

“And that’s so you remember it”, Godfrey breathed, now falling on his knees in exhaustion, reaching the limit of his leftover strength. Balian touching his slapped cheek in dismay as the truth dawned on him, until then straightened to see the hospitaler to give Godfrey’s sword to its owner, who instead finally handed the sword into Balian’s hands. Him looking at the weapon this time a bit questionable, uncertain.

“Arise a knight. And baron of Ibelin”, the hospitaler proclaimed, looking down at Balian, who glanced at him until leveled one more serious gaze at his father. Standing up with the sword to take upon the task his father had given him, to accept his just gifted title and position. Givenly fazed by this sudden responsibility Balian glancing at the other men in the room until then Godfrey strove to say something, finally losing the remains of his strength and was about to fall forward. Balian catching him in time, raising him up to look into his eyes, worry riddling his own as they took in the man's drained features. Where Godfrey stared back at him for a moment until finally placed his hand on Balian’s cheek, now serious himself.

“Defend the king”, Godfrey said with a low voice, his laborious words hardly above a whisper. “If the king is no more, protect the people…”

Balian frowned as stared back at Godfrey, addled, his father taking a break until continued, sudden tenderness in his eyes.

“Take care of Sofia”, he urged, surprising Balian. “She is the true daughter of Saladin… And she can be our way to reach peace in Jerusalem between Saladin and our King. Honor her vow, take her with you and watch over her... But even if you would set her free, she would serve you out of her own will…For even for a Saracen, she has a good heart to counter it…”

Godfrey then staggered, trying hard to say what was in his mind as Balian frowned even deeper. Godfrey riveting his fatigued eyes back to his.

“Had I only been 30 years younger… she would’ve been the kind of woman I could’ve loved”, he said, now smiling a little, half to himself, until turned earnest once more. “She now serves you and is your responsibility... Take her home…”

Godfrey’s hand then dropped from Balian’s face and he gazed downward, too weary to continue, huffing as the hospitaler then took a hold of his shoulders. To receive him as the man collapsed out of his son’s arms.

“It is time now, my lord, to confess to holy God, not your son”, he urged in turn, meeting Balian’s gaze momentarily. Godfrey's eyes full of emotion as they remained on his son.

“Are you sorry for all your sins?” the hospitaler questioned.

“For all but one”, Godfrey answered, wheezing, Balian looking back at him until then felt a sting of sorrow in his chest as the only father he’d ever had and whom he’d known only for weeks then died. His eyes closing and his head falling against the hospitaler with a long sigh, the man letting out his last breath.

The hospitaler looked up to the other present men as begun to chant a prayer, some oil being poured into his hand before he next drew a cross on Godfrey’s forehead, Balian following this with a severe expression, squeezing the sword in his hands. The Templars at the background bowing their heads and the sergeant directed a sad look at the altar from across the curtain. But Balian’s forehead then smoothed out and he looked up at the cross above the altar, just as Sofia finished her latest prayer outside at the corridor, her then gazing up to the sky.

“…Welcome him into Your Presence, so that he may enjoy eternal light and peace and be raised up in glory with all Your Saints. Amen.”

Balian stopped on his tracks as he heard the end of Sofia’s prayer, hearing her then sigh before she bowed her head in respect. Even though he was filled with grief due to the death of the man who after all had been his father, still he then felt slight joy to see this woman, this Saracen pray for his father in such honorable manner. It causing Balian to agree that maybe his father had been right during his final moments….about the goodness of this Saracen’s heart.

Balian came to a halt behind Sofia and she gasped, turning her head to look at him. Her instantly frowning slightly for compassion at the sight of him, until then stood. Facing Balian while a serious expression took over her face, her soon kneeling in front of him, but only in respect she now expressed to Balian. Her new lord.

“My lord”, she begun, bowing so deep that her forehead touched the stone floor, as she soon finished. Her voice nothing but sincere. “I pledge my servitude to you, new baron of Ibelin, my lord, and shall fulfill my oath made to your father now under your commandment. I am your humble servant.”

Balian was taken aback by this, although this was indeed what his father had said just before his death. But still he felt only hesitant over Sofia's such deep devotion to the vow she'd made, as he did not want to make anyone his slave, like he’d made clear some time ago…But Sofia was doing this out of her own free will, just like Godfrey had told him...So who was he to tell her otherwise?

“I do not wish to become your captor”, Balian told her. “My father, your lord is dead. You are now free.”

Sofia smiled. “Not as long as I have a lord to serve”, she stated, the truth while looked up to Balian, sitting up. “I am simply offering you my servitude as it is. I have no other place to go than to follow my lord to wherever he goes.”

Balian stared at Sofia confused for a moment, bemused, until then let out a sigh, looking down to the yard. Soon responding.

“Then I accept”, he gave in, meeting Sofia’s eyes. She smiled, bowing again.

“Thank you my lord.”

“My father told me to take you with me”, Balian continued, serious. Sofia’s then surprised eyes meeting his again, as Balian's soon dropped to the floor. “Within the last breaths he took he asked me to take you home. That is the only reason I agree to let you serve me. You are not my slave, Sofia.”

Sofia was touched as she thought about the crusader who had shown unseen kindness towards her this past month after rescuing her, even though she was a Saracen, the enemy he and his men frequently fought against in Holy Land. But only a sweet smile rose on her lips then as she realized how kindhearted Godfrey had been, talking of her during his last moments in this world, worrying over a young woman he hardly knew. And what also made Sofia smile was that she now saw Balian, his son, to be deep down just like his father.

“Thank you, my lord”, Sofia repeated, letting her gratitude show. Balian nodding, not saying anything or even looking at the woman, but was then surprised by her when she extended a hand towards him.

“Let me see your hand, my lord”, she prompted. And Balian did, Sofia opening the bandage like many times before, examining the burn.

“Thank Allah. The burn has nearly healed so tending to this won’t take much effort after the hours of treatment I’ve done today”, Sofia remarked delighted, half to herself, sighing in the end. She was tired as well. But not letting it hinder herself begun to work.

“Thank you”, Balian then suddenly said in turn, Sofia glancing up to him questionably.

“What for my lord?” she asked back. Balian taking a break before replied.

“For taking care of him”, he specified, his voice now more silent. Sad, Sofia turning rueful herself.

“Only that it wasn’t enough to save him, my lord”, she noted, then silencing. Either Balian saying nothing to that, but just stared up to the sky, looking at the moon which had risen full that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Name translations: Nura (light)
> 
> *=shortened quote from Koran


	5. God's Trial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phrases written in bold; Arabic  
> Phrases written in italics; thoughts, memories, quotes

“You sail now for Jerusalem as your father wished”, hospitaler said. Looking at Balian, who was standing on the pier along with Sofia and the sergeant on his left side, prepared for the upcoming voyage.

It was about two days after Godfrey’s death that the next ship to Holy Land was set to depart, and the three of them were now saying their farewells to their companion before embarking, crossing the sea and sailing about a week of time until they’d arrive to their destination.

“I’ll follow within a week”, hospitaler announced. “This journey can be perilous. If God has purpose for you there he’ll keep you safe in His hands…”

Balian turned serious at this as hospitaler then kept a break, Balian now glancing at Sofia who looked perfectly calm as always, to have once again dressed herself to look like a man. Not failing at all in it, but seeing her like that felt very weird to Balian, even he knew it was impossible to let her step into a ship full of crusaders and numerous other men looking like a female. While he mulled over this notion the hospitaler continued, cutting through his train of thought.

“…If not… God bless you”, he finished, taking a step closer to Balian as smiled at him a little. Balian nodding and looking down briefly, until raised his eyes to meet the hospitaler’s once more whose smile turned wider. The man next turning to Sofia, taking her hands.

“ **Salaam alaikum,** Sofia”, he told her, still smiling, looking into the young woman’s eyes which were lit up by a smile as well.

“ **Alaikum salaam** ”, she answered with a bow of her head, the hospitaler now grinning before he then locked gazes with the sergeant and Balian once again. Giving the pair of them a nod, until turned his back to them and left with another crusader, who had been standing behind him in wait of him. The three watching how they eventually vanished into the bustling crowd of the docks, until the sergeant then cleared his throat, beckoning towards the vessel while smiled at Sofia.

“Shall we then go aboard?” he questioned. However without waiting an answer starting to walk along the pier, towards their awaiting ship. Soon enough Balian and Sofia following not far behind, Sofia giving Balian a slight amused glance as saw him to eye at the ship somewhat cautiously.

* * *

During the first three days of their travel the sea remained rather peaceful. God not expressing his wrath in form of creating any horrible waves or storms, and Balian who had never sailed a ship in his life, especially such a long distance, started to feel his anxiety lessen due to this fact. Him to have been uncertain of this journey, because as Sofia had said back in France, with any possible tribulations their Lord could try to place them under a test to see which of the men aboard were willful enough to serve Him and worth to survive, if their ship truly would find herself caught in a storm…But this didn’t happen, and Balian actually got used to the endless rocking of the waves, after the first most trying days being able to relax.

Unlike the majority of the passengers Sofia spent most of her time outside the below, on deck, gazing at the endless sea around them. And after the said three days once Balian had gotten used to the seasickness and the ceaseless rocking of the ship robbing him of his sense of balance, he often joined her to enjoy the clear sea air. Thinking how it was curious something so peaceful and beautiful as ocean to be still so terrifying to a man. But during those moments on deck as Balian leant on the rail, he believed not so, instead his ponders repeatedly straying back to his deceased father and it turned him rather gloomy…As his death brought the memory of his wife back to his mind.

Their luck turned on the night of their sixth day at sea. Sofia standing on deck as usual, now eyeing at the sea which by then however had grown all but tranquil, waves that threw the ship at times quite dramatically much bigger and notably more tumultuous. Wind starting to blow forcefully against the sails and she could heard thunder rumbling in the clouds, at first at the distance, but soon reaching the sky above their ship. After the first days of absolute serenity the sea now finally showing a glimpse of the more frightening side of itself.

Balian came next to Sofia, also gazing at the angered waters, which told of the approaching storm. It was already twilight, nearly night. Water soon starting to drip from the heavens, accompanied by an even louder peal of thunder.

“God has abandoned us”, Sofia stated, glancing at her lord. “He’s putting us through His trial after all.”

There was agreement in Balian’s eyes as they shortly held Sofia’s, him looking to the sea one more time before replied. “We should go down.”

“God be with you, my lord”, Sofia said with a concurring nod, Balian seeing a faint smile in her eyes before she left the gunwale and vanished below before him, Balian soon enough following.

It took but single hour for the storm to reach its peak and it attacked the ship with all of its force. All men aboard pressing themselves against the hull, some trembling in fear, some praying for God to spare them. Balian and the sergeant keeping an eye on Sofia at all times, grabbing her if the ship rocked suddenly so dangerously that it seemed like turning on its side, everyone on board losing their balance and getting slammed against the walls or cargo. The only horse aboard neighing in fear, standing on its hind legs in its makeshift stall, water continuing to leak through the cracks of the ship. Drenching the men shivering for cold as the storm roared outside across those thin, feeble walls, endless waves hammering the vessel from all sides.

The sergeant and Balian both took hold of Sofia’s arms again as the ship shifted violently to the left. But then as the black mare let out an even more horrified neigh, the men were then surprised as Sofia suddenly shot up, making her way through the ever swaying floor to the animal, although they tried to pull her back. Just then lightning striking right above them and the horse bolted, neighing once more, Sofia now pushing her hand through the net that kept the animal from escaping her enclosure.

“ **Calm. Calm down girl** ”, she soothed the animal over the roar of thunder, cracking her tongue at the scared horse, speaking softly in Arabic. “ **Calm now. Calm girl, there’s nothing to fear…”**

Balian grabbed the wall as the ship tilted again now to the right, peering through the drizzle at Sofia and saw her get on her knees despite of the radical swaying of the ship, urging the mare to kneel down with her extended arm. And for Balian’s surprise, the mare obeyed, now much calmer although the storm was as violent as before. But then all of a sudden the most forceful surge yet hit the ship, causing everyone to jerk forward. Balian losing his balance and falling on his stomach, where Sofia was thrown back and she fell too, her grabbing the net and slamming against the wall hard. The horse letting out yet another terrified neigh until the ship next creaked loudly, seeming as if breaking in two as it was now pulled by two forces from both sides, the waves crushing the vessel between them. And everyone knew what was coming as the ship soon suddered, Balian glancing about the cargo hold as raised himself up, realizing the ship to be turning over.

“Sofia!” escaped through his lips and he sat up, looking towards the young woman who was still hanging from the net of the horse’s stall, meeting his gaze. But he didn’t have time to run over to her or as much as stand as at the same moment the ship capsized, now all men, animals and cargo starting to roll around with the waves which enveloped the ship. Eventually sinking it under themselves, the hull finally tearing apart and water begun to flow within the hold in one merciless surge.

Balian swam to the surface, taking in a furious breath. But he couldn’t do anything as then the ship turned over again, taking him under, and he was pulled into the swirling water until soon something hard whacked against him. Balian losing consciousness and didn’t know of anything that happened after that.

* * *

Balian heard thunder rumbling. Judging by the coldness of his body concluding to be still swerving in the stormy waves inside the ship, but as he then opened his eyes and gazed up with squinting eyes, raising his head a little, he realized the thunderous sound to be caused by the flutter of the main sail that loomed just above him. The noise simply sounding louder in his head, which was pounding due to the hard hit he’d received while twirling about within the sinking ship.

Slowly he sat up, glancing around, but saw no other soul alive aside for him. Only corpses of the drowned crusaders and refuse that had washed up to the beach, mostly broken wooden parts which once had been the intact hull of the ship. It seeming him to be the only survivor, but it was then when his foggy mind immediately came to remember Sofia. Balian looking about again, not seeing her anywhere, not even locating her body amongst the deceased. Had she drowned as well?

Balian found his sword laying just beside him. And relieved that it hadn’t gotten lost he took a hold of it, until then took notice of a pillow made from black robe that had been placed under his head, understanding kicking in. If someone had put this under his head while he was unconscious then there must’ve been someone else left alive besides him!

Balian stood, a bit stiffly, taking the robe with him. His throat in flames due to the saltwater he had swallowed from his time at the mercy of the raging sea. Him walking out of the small shelter that the wreckage and the broken mast had created around him and gazed farther towards the beach, seeing nothing but more bodies and refuse. No sign of any men alive after all.

He climbed onto a pile of splintered floorboards and remains of deck, balancing his spared equipment with his left arm while with his free hand took hold of a rope to lower himself down to the sand without falling. But at the same moment his eyes discovered a waterskin not far from where he was. So feeling the agonizing thirst in his burning throat Balian hurried over to it, staggering as fast as he could over to the flask, taking it from one of the corpses and drank greedily. Experiencing indescribable satisfaction when the cool liquid instantly eased the horrific burn. Could water truly taste so divine? It could.

Balian took another large sip until wiped his mouth, turning rather thoughtful. But his ponders were interrupted by a sudden neigh and ensuing familiar low voice, which begun to speak with a quelling tone somewhere near. Carried by the wind as a soft whisper to his ears. Balian turning a little to see another quite large, survived piece of the vessel further away from him, and behind a net which hung from the part which once had been the main deck of the vessel he saw movement. Realizing it to come from the mare that had boarded the ship with them, the very same animal Sofia had tried to calm down during the storm.

Balian stood back on his feet, his heavy, clouded mind turning a bit lighter at the sight of at least one survivor of the shipwreck in addition to him and he started to walk towards the horse. Stepping over the countless bodies spread haphazardly upon the shore. But as he approached, hearing the neighs of the mare better he also could hear that strange, gentle whisper also turn louder and he knew he hadn’t imagined the voice. It must’ve belonged to the one who had put the robe under Balian’s head.

Balian hurried his steps, and it didn’t take long when the voice talking was so loud that he could recognize it anywhere. And as the horse now shifted inside the makeshift stall in which it was still trapped, Balian felt surprisingly great relief as he saw Sofia, standing at the other side of the net wearing only her long tunic and pants. Calming the horse as had done back at the ship, Balian letting out a sigh.

“ **Easy. Easy and calm, girl. That’s it, calm down** ”, he heard Sofia say softly to the restless horse who was still frightened by the shipwreck, striding restlessly back and forth inside the tiny stall that gave her not much room to pace. Balian stopping momentarily until circled the stall, now appearing behind Sofia and startled her as placed a hand to her back.

“My lord, you’re awake”, Sofia stated after the brief scare, smiling a bit. “I left you to sleep as concluding by the bruise on your forehead you hit it quite hard on something.”

Balian looked at the robe in his hand and spread it, realizing it indeed was Sofia’s. “So it was you who put this under my head.”

“I washed up a bit farther away from here”, Sofia continued and now turned, pointing behind her. Balian following her finger with his gaze and indeed spotted lone footprints treading across the wet sand. “I woke up alone and started to walk along the beach, finally finding the remains of the ship and you, my lord. I called you but you did not come to. So after making sure you were alive and alright, I left you to wake up by yourself, when you were ready for it and went to seek some water.”

“You found any?” Balian inquired, shade of hope in his voice. But turned then a bit somber again as saw Sofia point at only three waterskins on her right side.

“That’s all we have.”

The mare then neighed very loudly, snapping the two out of their conversation and Sofia cracked her tongue at her while raised her arm, next pushing the other through the net, speaking again in Arabic. But as the horse didn’t calm down Balian then heard Sofia start to hum, soon it turning into a low singing. For a while she did this, Balian following in confusion until eventually the black horse settled down, now only twitching from now and then and jerking her head a bit. But she finally stood still, not so afraid any longer. Balian staring at the animal in awe.

“ **Good girl, that’s it** ”, Sofia whispered, pulling her arm back. But she then sensed Balian’s questionable stare on her and glanced at him, seeing indeed wonder in his gaze.

“One of my masters had a lot of horses”, Sofia replied to his wordless question, now pushing her hand again through the net and cracked her tongue once more, the horse now obediently coming to her and allowed Sofia to smooth her head. “I learnt to train and handle them better than many others. I feel somehow connected with them.”

Balian said nothing but had a realization, now turning towards the horse too. He could see that. He had never seen horses obey anyone so easily as this mare obeyed Sofia, although it had been completely uncontrollable just a moment ago. But then he remembered something.

“Have you seen the Englishman?” he asked, meaning the sergeant. Sorrow flickering within Sofia’s dark eyes.

“I found his body on my way here. That heavens you are alive”, she answered, Balian nodding in silence before dedicated a moment for their deceased companion in his thoughts. It was no wonder he had died. It was a miracle that even the two of them had survived.

“It seems there is something waiting for us at Jerusalem as both of our Gods have let us live, my lord”, Sofia then said smiling, leveling a bit playful look at Balian. Balian matching it, but only more blue.

“My father has an estate at Holy Land”, he revealed. “I guess that is what awaits me.”

Balian then surprised Sofia by grabbing the net, starting to pull it off to let the mare out. Sofia dodging to the side as he dragged the net down, now walking over to the horse and bent over to release the horse from the rope attached to her leg. But Sofia now took a deterring step toward him.

“My lord that is not a good idea…” she warned. But was too late as the rope loosened, freeing the mare and it neighed, rising on her back feet before brushed past taken aback Balian and galloped away instantly. Balian trying to catch her by running after her, but the horse kept on going with fierce speed, him eventually only stumbling down onto the sand. Sofia jogging past Balian, whistling, trying to lure the horse to turn back, but she didn’t stop. And soon they saw her vanish behind the sand dunes, gone.

Sofia sighed, gazing after the animal, but then turned around to give Balian one of those looks he had seen her give to his father during the time he’d been injured, whenever the older crusader had tried to do something risky that provoked the wound. Balian standing up with an actual embarrassed look on his mien.

“Forgive me”, he said, Sofia sighing again and he heard her mutter something in Arabic. But then Sofia turned to look at the sand dunes spreading right proximate to them, Balian seeing her own face to turn but serious. Him walking next to her, handing her robe back.

“Do you know where we are?” he asked, glancing at Sofia. Her nodding thoughtfully after glancing around, the wind tousling her long, dark hair in every direction, and Balian had to step away to avoid the wisps getting blown to his face.

“I suppose. But what I know for sure is that we have come ashore far from the harbor of Jerusalem”, Sofia responded, now gathering her locks between her hands, where Balian sided her again with a chagrined frown. That didn’t sound good.

“How far from Jerusalem you think we are?” he wondered, now more earnest himself. Sofia sighing for the third time before picking up the flasks from their feet.

“If I am right, what awaits us is a wide desert which separates us from our destination”, she said, causing Balian to stiffen briefly. Her only adding to his agitation by looking down at the little water they had. “With a horse we might’ve survived with this amount of water with us. But the main problem is now how we are to prevent ourselves from becoming dehydrated while crossing the desert. We just have to hope we can find water somewhere while passing those dunes, my lord…Because it is still our best option. If we go around this desert it would take double the time to get to Jerusalem.”

Balian sighed in turn but nodded, now strapping his sword securely to his waist. Noticing Sofia to do the same with her daggers, which apparently had also survived the storm. Her lastly putting on her robe and Balian then nodded towards it with a small, grateful smile.

“Thank you.”

Sofia returned the gesture, bowing her head. “You are very welcome, my lord.”

Balian was then about to leave, to begin their journey, but was stopped by Sofia who did not follow him. Instead staying still, causing Balian to turn to her questionable but she said nothing as then let out a breath and closed her eyes, smiling to herself. Taking in a deep breath until soon knelt down, and Balian was left to watch as she suddenly took some sand into her hands, letting it slide back to the ground through her fingers. Balian however soon getting rid of his confusion as witnessed that suddenly so delighted expression of hers. She was overjoyed to be here. At Holy Land.

After a while Sofia stood back up and turned, walking back towards the shoreline. Balian frowning slightly, taking a step after her as she walked straight into the water, wading out so far that it reached above her knees. And there she stood for a minute or two, letting her hands to be swept by the waves, new, more blissful smile spreading on her lips before this time around a content sigh slipped from them. She was home. She had returned home!

“Sofia!” Balian’s voice soon woke her from her joyful reverie. “We should go!”

* * *

All in all Balian had no knowledge of how many days went past after he and Sofia had entered the desert, walking along the endless multitude of dunes while not seeing anyone or anything which could’ve signaled them to be close to any city or other human settlements. The bright sunlight during the day making the climate extremely hot and in time it naturally begun to take a toll on Balian, especially his head. But he hold on, often due to the help of Sofia who wasn’t as strongly affected by the heat like him, as someone who had once lived in this type of climate and but embraced the warmth as well as the at nights ensuing coldness of the desert. During those surprisingly cold nights Sofia to have instructed Balian to dig himself into the sand, as it stored heath for a very long time after sunset thanks to the sunlight it had absorbed during the day. Indeed such method keeping him warm enough to survive.

But even the passing time soon turned into an ceaseless stream of hours, Balian was at first able to keep some kind of track of days with Sofia’s help, and it was also she who found them small hidden fountains where they could collect more water. Balian to have followed in confusion as Sofia had suddenly stopped and glanced around, soon kneeling to examine the terrain, before finally running down a small dune and starting to dig with her hands. Balian watching her intently, and for his surprise soon had witnessed the sand to turn moist due to Sofia’s digging, before water had indeed started to well up for his amazement. Quickly forming into a puddle at the base of the dug hole. Balian kneeling in astonishment and looking at Sofia, who had only smiled at him, nodding towards the unearthed spring.

“Drink all you can. I don’t know when we’ll be able to find more”, she had urged him while standing, walking back over to the crown of the dune. But Balian had stopped her.

“You must drink as well”, he had insisted. But Sofia had shaken her head at this.

“You need it more than I, my lord”, was her response. “I have gotten more accustomed to this climate and can bear more dehydration. Besides I have to take care of my lord. From both of us it is you who has to survive.”

After hearing that Balian had let Sofia go, still feeling hesitant. But eventually he had drunk his fill, also filling their flasks with the rest of the remaining water to give some to Sofia later.

* * *

Another immeasurable time elapsed as they continued to cross the desert. Both of them starting to notice their strength to be diminished by the excruciating heat and lack of water. Balian however being more worried about Sofia than himself, as over the course of their journey she’d had less water than him. But despite of this she didn’t seem to be any more or less affected by the extreme conditions than he was, both now finding their walk across the dunes turn all the time harder. But still Sofia’s eyes were full of joy as she could feel the grains of sand the boisterous wind blew into her hair, gracing her skin, the familiar landscape making her remember her roots clearly for the first time in years. So her strain became easier to bear, like she had said.

At some point when exhaustion took the best of them Balian took a hold of Sofia, her following suite, making their somewhat staggering procession easier for both of them. Another day passing by and they still didn’t find water from anywhere, sand continuing to blow against them endlessly as they walked on, the dehydration starting to really eat away the last of their vigor. But suddenly Sofia averted her gaze to the left, seeing a lone, small tree stick out of one of the dunes. Causing her to halt.

“Sofia?” Balian asked and gave her questionable look, also stopping. Him glancing to the direction she was staring to. “What is it?”

“I’ve been here before”, she told him, taking a step forward. The sandy wind blowing hot against her face as she stared at the tree, lost to her memories for a moment.

“You have?” Balian questioned, his voice a bit doubtful as anywhere they had been so far the desert had seemed exactly the same to him, nothing but sand in sight in every direction one looked. Sofia remaining silent for a bit, thinking, until then blinked her squinting eyes.

“I know this place. I have seen that tree once”, she stated, now starting to walk down the dune towards it, eventually her walk turning into a run. “I know where we can find water, my lord!”

Balian was left alone on top of the dune confused. Him glancing around a bit, looking after Sofia until then with a sigh started to follow her. Gliding down the dune, or half stumbled due to the soft soil, suspicion taking hold of him. Where in this place would she exactly expect to find water all so suddenly, for they hadn’t located a fountain or an oasis in days? Turned hence skeptical Balian climbed up another dune but froze at the top, not seeing Sofia. Balian frowning as sheltered his eyes from the blinding sunlight, glancing around once more.

“Sofia!” he exclaimed, but didn’t get an answer. Had they now lost each other?

“My lord, it’s this way!” Sofia’s faint voice did then shout out from somewhere and Balian saw her head appear behind a couple of dunes, her pointing forward. Balian shook his head until let out another sigh. How had she gotten there so quickly?

“How do you know what to look for?!” he shouted back, hurrying down the next dune and closed the distance between them, climbing up to Sofia. “We haven’t come across a single fountain for a long time.”

Balian saw Sofia smile and she pointed down.

“I told you my lord. I have been here before”, she answered, only confusing Balian until she rushed down the dune, him trailing her. At the bottom growing a small palm tree that had a sash bound to it, now dug out of the sand. By the looks of it the sash to have been made from expensive fabric and Balian stared at it in surprise, but on the second thought even more baffled. Sofia seeing this and she smiled again, untying the sash and showed it to him.

“It was me who bound this sash to this tree ten years ago”, she explained, seeing new surprise in Balian’s eyes as they met hers. Sofia next looking at the sash again, in evident recognition.

“On their way to the sea my kidnappers made a camp beside this tree. I was tied to it, and when they didn’t notice I bound my sash to it, to leave a clue for my possible rescuers”, Sofia continued, remembering for a moment that particular night before then made an unreadable smile, which still hold a tint of sadness to it. “Apparently it didn’t do much as all these years later it is still attached to this tree. But good for us, as now we know where to go.”

Balian gave Sofia a short, thoughtful look until frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Those men had to get water from somewhere as do we, my lord”, Sofia kept talking, now separating from the tree and walked up to the dune nearest them, Balian next seeing her sigh and smile in satisfaction before she turned to look at him.

“And therefore just as I remembered, their route ten years ago and our current location have crossed, which means we are not far from Jerusalem. There was an oasis close to the campsite of my kidnappers. And my lord, we have found it!”

Balian’s eyes widened and he hurried beside Sofia, now seeing himself the oasis spreading right in front of their eyes. Balian letting out a relieved sigh and smiled himself, taking Sofia’s arm and helped her to get down from the dune as they hurried to the small stream of water in middle of equally tiny plants, growing from the dry ground as a sign of moisture at the area. Both of them kneeling straight in front of the puddle.

Balian bent down and scooped water with both hands, drinking like he never would’ve had water before. But instead of drinking Sofia now stood back up, again observing their surroundings in thoughts, as if seeking something else.

“Why don’t you drink?” Balian asked, looking up to her. “You must drink. Even you cannot go further without water, Sofia.”

Sofia didn’t answer. But before Balian could do more than frown, soft snort broke the silence and both of them turned around, to see the same black mare to be now ambling towards the oasis. Bending down to drink from the spring a little father away from Balian. Sofia smiled.

“I thought as much”, she stated, now kneeling back down as Balian stared at the animal in surprise. “I knew she would find here. Horses are as good at finding water in places like this as camels”, she continued, then finally also leaning forward and sinking her face into the water as Balian gave her a slight glance.

Sofia drank as well her fill before rising from the spring, spreading the cool drops of water on her face and down to her neck. Her then noticing Balian to creep to his feet while staring at the mare, until at the same time as Sofia sank her robe into the water he leapt over the spring, grabbing the horse’s reins who neighed in annoyance. Sofia breaking into a smile as she saw Balian start to gesture the same manner as she had, calming the horse down to prevent her from bolting again.

“Whoa, whoa. Whoa.”

Sofia squeezed her robe, the water dripping freely over her arms and back. Her eventually placing the wet robe back on to cool herself until it would too soon dry out, turning back to a mere torment under the bright sun in addition to the rest of her black clothes. Sofia still only sighing in satisfaction as the sensation of coolness spread over her hot limbs, Balian walking the horse into the shadow of a large bush that also grew not far and patted now completely soothed animal. Sitting down himself to rest.

“Come Sofia, you’re tired as well”, he urged, waving at her. “Sit and rest before we continue.”

Sofia nodded and stood, but then detected something from the corner of her eye, twirling around. Indeed spotting two horsemen, who were eyeing at her and her lord from some distance away. And concluding by their appearance they were locals, not crusaders, who obviously did not dare to venture much into the desert as ones not accustomed to make way in such environment.

“My lord!” Sofia called, turning her head towards the man behind her. Balian now also lifting his gaze to take notice of the two strangers, taking support from his sword as soon was back on his feet as well, staring at the men pensively. Some commanding shouts carrying to their ears as Sofia quickly took her scarf and wrapped it over her head, leaving only her eyes visible, even it might’ve already been too late. The men could’ve already seen the flutter of her hair in the wind.

The men now approached them, the one riding a white horse coming much closer to the two travelers, as the other halted on top of a dune some distance away. The rider mounted on the white steed then as well stopping a little farther from Sofia and Balian, pointing at the mare behind their backs.

“He says that is his horse!” he shouted.

“Why would it be his horse?” Balian asked back, glancing at the mare in a questioning manner. Sofia examining the spoken man and his assumed lord, who had stayed behind to simply observe the situation.

“Because it is on his land!” the servant answered matter-of-factly, spreading his arms to gesture at the vast wasteland all around them. Causing Sofia to turn thoughtful…To _whom_ these lands belonged exactly? She couldn’t recall…

“I took this horse from the sea!” Balian replied, beckoning to the horse in turn. Sofia’s eyes shifting towards the man lounging behind his servant, who suddenly cut into the conversation with an indignant exclaim.

“ **Master, I shall fight this man for telling lies!”** he shouted, in Arabic, his voice notably enraged. Sofia frowning in confusion as Balian was only dismayed once more, unlike Sofia unable to comprehend what was going on. The young woman who instead had been able to understand the just spoken words casting baffled glances at the pair of men, confounded. Why would a lord call his servant master? Only if…

“He says you are a great liar…” the supposed servant then continued, looking at Balian. “…and he will fight you because you are a liar.”

Both men gasped for surprise as in a blink of an eye Sofia drew her daggers, jumping in front of Balian while leveling a defiant gaze at the servant. Who were the liars in here if not these strange men claiming this horse as their own? Yet unaware of this Balian giving a bit puzzled look at Sofia as the manservant then started to speak again.

“What’s this? A servant fights for his lord?” he questioned as Sofia only narrowed her eyes at him. Balian stepping forth and placing a deterring hand on her shoulder.

“We have no desire to fight!” he declared.

“Then you must give him the horse”, the servant stated. Balian hesitating at first, but soon turned but annoyed due to these men’s laughable claims and while gazing down revealed his sword, taking a stance. The one his father had taught him. But before he could answer he was again taken aback by Sofia who suddenly dashed forth, running towards the servant.

“ **No**!” she cried out, the servant also gasping for surprise and his horse got startled, throwing him from the saddle down to the sand. Balian staring after Sofia bewildered as next watched her twirl the daggers in her hands, taking a stance herself, preparing to fight once the servant rose and faced her. Eyeing at her, in the end taking out his own weapon.

“This argument is between our masters!” the servant reminded her, staring at Sofia’s covered face sternly. “Let us not get involved into things which concern only those higher of us.”

Sofia said nothing in response, but then as quickly as snake attacks she charged at the man, him just in time deflecting her daggers and shoving her aside. Balian frowning in wonder. What was she doing? However naturally not gaining an answer as only followed Sofia to attack again, forcing the man to defend himself.

“No! Stop Sof…!” Balian exclaimed, but his words ran out once he remembered that he couldn’t reveal Sofia to be a woman. Him cursing inwardly and was left only to watch in worry as Sofia fought this man, this servant of the Muslim lord who had come to claim the horse for himself. The said man also observing things to unfold at the background however then ordering his servant to stop, and he was about to, but another carefully aimed slash of Sofia’s weapon didn’t let him. This turn of events confusing the servant as much as the others.

“No! Stop it now!” Balian ordered, him talking mainly to Sofia who ignored him, continuing to fight against this man she now knew for a fact not to be a servant. His evident battle skills too prominent to belong to a mere servant, resulting from a high ranked training only few had an opportunity to secure.

Sofia’s opponent received her blows in astonishment. This veiled man dressed in black, who seemed to be of rather light built to his eyes, seemed to fight close to equally with him, with similar kind of moves and finesse. Which was impossible, as only few in addition to him had had a possibility to learn this style in wielding weapons. But still this veiled man hit, deflected and slashed at him with similar type of patterns that he’d been taught long, long ago during his training. Who was this man?

Sofia now jumped forth with a spin. Raising the man’s blade as tried to thrust the other dagger to his side, but he suddenly dropped his blade and grabbed Sofia’s wrist. Throwing her behind himself, Balian twitching at the sight of her tumbling down to the sand. But with a light somersault she was quickly on her knees, staring at her opponent who as well was measuring her in pure awe.

“ **Where have you learnt to fight like this?”** he questioned, but either now Sofia didn’t answer. Only shifted the position of her small blades and attacked, once more getting deflected and shoved aside, them taking stances each.

“ **Speak! Who are you and why are you fighting me?!”** the servant demanded, Balian glancing between him and Sofia in ever growing confusion, naturally not understanding a word he was saying. Sofia lunging at him again, only to be spun back to the other side as she in turn staved the man’s incoming sword.

“ **I demand you to speak!** ” the servant now shouted, hoisting up his blade in front of Sofia. Sofia letting out a sigh and frowned slightly, gauging at her opponent intently.

“ **Then who could _you_ be, my lord?”** she finally spoke, making a question of her own, the servant flinching due to the sound of her voice and words. Him instantly turning pensive, while Balian cast a tense look at Sofia from the sidelines. Him then soon gasping for fright again as it was the man's turn to attack, him exchanging a couple of brisk blows with Sofia until he managed to direct a slash at her. Causing her to stagger back towards Balian.

“No!” escaped through his lips as in an immediate response he took a hold of Sofia’s shoulders, to pull her away in a sudden shock, only to notice that the man’s strike had only cut the scarf. The dark material slipping from the tight folds and causing Sofia’s hair to cascade free from under it, her locks beginning to sway in the wind once Sofia turned to look at the man who was currently staring at her in even greater astonishment. Soon quirking his eyebrows at her.

“A woman? Is this mockery?” he questioned, glancing at Balian whose frown deepened, about to push Sofia back as the man’s delivery turned somewhat derisive. “You keep a woman as your bodyguard?”

“Sofia that’s enough”, Balian said curtly. But like before Sofia ignored him, Balian not being able to stop her as she instantly ran forward. Crossing blades with the man, who seemed but bewildered by her perseverance.

“ **Do not call my lord a liar when you are one yourself** ”, Sofia accused tensely, pushing the man back before shifted the blades in her hands, staring at the man as they now circled each other. Sofia squinting at him knowingly. “ **You are no servant. And neither is he your lord!** ”

Sofia nodded towards the mounted man a little farther away, now raising one of her daggers, stopping, **“Who are you, _my lord_ , and why do you claim this horse which has already been made my master’s after discovering her from the sea?”**

The man was clearly shocked that this man, who had been revealed to be a young woman and yet alone a Muslim who served a man who appeared to be a crusader, knew of his secret. The man frowning addled as examined Sofia, pondering, until in the following moment when her hair was blown away from her face he saw her tattoo. The small star, spreading over her lower and upper lip, the sight causing him to stiffen once more as Sofia then slashed at him. Him deflecting her blades so that they were stuck under his sword after swinging them to the side, him pulling Sofia close to himself, while in his eyes that then met hers was recognition.

“ **Adilah?”** the man asked, Balian now seeing the way Sofia froze to her spot in turn. Eyeing at the false servant in front of her in shock, in slow understanding, until she too then examined him for a few seconds from close range, having a sudden realization.

“ **Imad?”** Sofia questioned incredulously, separating from the man as freed herself from under his weapon, staring at him her eyebrows wrinkled for disbelief. But there was no mistaking it. When she now gauged at this man carefully, she knew him…Had once known him, and he was equally astounded by this discovery.

“ **Your highness? How can this be?”** he said, eyeing at Sofia from head to toe, as if trying to figure out was she but a hallucination created by the sun. Until Sofia then caused him to fall back with a strike, forcing him to retreat.

 **“Amira, how can you be alive? Here? And with this man you say to serve?”** the servant now asked, still speaking in Arabic, nonplussed Balian seeing him glance to his direction quite flabbergasted. Balian frowning at this. Why had he called Sofia like that? Amira?

“ **I am not Adilah** ”, Sofia told him, starting to circle the man again. “ **I am Sofia. Simple Saracen servant and I demand you to tell me why do you claim my lord’s horse as yours, after lying about your identity!** ”

“ **Does not your highness recognize me?”** the man queried, sizing up Sofia. “ **You seemed to know I was lying and you called my name. You are our princess Adilah, are you not?** ”

“ **I knew of your lies once I heard your servant speak! And if you will not tell me why you want to challenge my lord to kill him, I will tell him who he truly will be fighting against!** ” Sofia uttered in response. The man again glancing at Balian until sighed, also beginning to circle Sofia.

 **“Amira, please do not. It is for everyone’s interest to keep our identities hidden. And I’m begging for you to put down your weapons, as I wish not to have to tell my king to have slayed his long lost but finally found daughter in self-defense”** , he pleaded, Sofia’s gaze now actually softening.

“ **I shall not reveal your true name to my lord** ”, she promised, now lowering her daggers. “ **Only if you say nothing of me to my father. I’ve come back to Jerusalem as an ordinary woman. And it has to stay that way.”**

Balian eyed at these two in complete puzzlement, having no clue what they were talking about. But then as he saw Sofia’s opponent hesitate, his mien once more riddled with dismay, Balian next saw him lower his sword as a sign of truce. Until then the man who had stayed back all this time suddenly spurred his horse forward, holding up a spear, in place of his master about to attack Sofia.

“ **No!”** the servant shouted with a commanding voice, but it was too late to stop the attack from coming. However this time Balian reacting instantly and he yanked Sofia out of the way before received the thrown spear with a nimble shift of his sword and deflected it, causing it to fly to the side in a high arch as the man rode past him. Balian turning around while Sofia cast him a surprised look, Balian only pushing her back, taking a couple of steps to the side himself as the horseman now returned. Riding towards Balian his blade drawn, letting out a yell as charged at the awaiting crusader before slashed at him, Balian crouching once their weapons clashed. Turning around while dropped to his knees due to the movement, the rider passing him once more.

“Fight me fearly!” Balian demanded, standing. The horseman saying something in Arabic, causing Sofia to level an annoyed look at him as these men continued their charade. The false servant now directing a very indifferent look at Balian as conveyed his false master’s answer to him.

“Why? Why should he? He’s a knight!”

“And I am the baron of Ibelin!” Balian announced.

The servant was clearly surprised by this revelation and he glanced at Sofia, seeing the confirmation from her eyes, which also he could then remember to show everything to someone who only knew how to look. Him then addressing his lord on horseback in Arabic, wonder in his voice, where the master responded with an angry tint in his. The man turning his steed around.

“He says the baron of Ibelin is old. He knew him at Damascus”, the servant stated, Balian angling his jaw as locked gazes with him.

“I am the new one!” he explained, serenely. The Muslim lord now finally dismounting a grim expression on his face, in a flash Sofia standing in front of Balian again while gazing at both of the men.

“ **My master is the only son of the previous baron!** ” she shouted, not the least scared of the approaching man, who now froze once his servant spat out a word in Arabic. Sofia raising her daggers. “And I die before I let you harm my lord.”

“No! Sofia, get away!” Balian protested, grabbing her arms but she didn’t listen, staying put. The horseman now removing his cloak with a single yank before resumed his walk towards her, however his servant letting out another curt command that caused him to halt due to its tense tone. Balian frowning quizzically as did then find their interaction somewhat peculiar.

“ **Please Amira step away! You are our princess! You cannot serve a man like him!”** the servant said with an incredulous voice, looking at Sofia skeptically. But Sofia didn’t react, her own countenance only sincere as she finally replied.

 **“I can. This man’s father saved me. And I am in a forever debt to his son as I was to him. Because of my lord I was able to come home and you are able to lay eyes on your princess once more!”** Sofia stated seriously, meeting the manservant’s eyes. Balian giving her a quick unnerved look, before then stepping out from behind her, to push her aside.

“Sofia get away now!” he bellowed, dragging her forcefully behind himself as the horseman now immediately reacted. Placing his blade over his left arm into a stance, Balian countering with the same stance as before, and without a hesitation they begun to exchange blows. Loud clashes of metal filling the air as Balian defended himself, Sofia and the servant next following in turn as now their masters faced each other, being quite equally matched, and after a moment of sparring Balian soon bumped against his opponent to have him stumble backwards. Causing his sword to fly to the ground, amongst the clatter of weapons the servant’s shouts ringing in the air as he tried to stop the two fighters. At the loss of his weapon Balian’s adversary then snatching the fallen spear from the ground, to use it to ward off his attacks.

“Stop!” the false servant shouted, sometimes changing back to Arabic to speak directly to his actual servant who either did not listen, and once the fight did not cease eventually he turned to Sofia. Nodding at the fighting men urgently. “ **Stop! Stop!** That’s enough! Stop your master!”

Sofia frowned but realized him to be right, since after all the man Balian was fighting with wasn’t who he was supposed to be. The man now once more sitting mounted on his horse, the real Muslim lord, continuing his shouting. Trying to get them to stop.

“Stop! Stop! Ibelin, that’s enough!”

“My lord! My lord Balian, stop this!” Sofia did then join him, hurrying to her lord’s other side as the servant was at the other. Trying to claim her lord’s attention, Balian indeed hearing Sofia’s pleas as she almost never used his name, but could do nothing but continue to defend himself. The mounted man’s voice still echoing in the air, demanding.

_“Ibelin stop!”_

Balian staggered back due to his opponent’s latest blow swung towards him. Which then however left him an opening to strike and Balian attacked, in a blink of an eye stepping forth and cutting the Arab’s neck with the end of his sword, the blood splashing and scaring the servant’s horse again and for the second time it dropped its rider. Sofia letting out a breath as she watched Balian first to stand still for a moment in brief understanding of what he’d done, the horse galloping away in fright, until he then walked over to the servant who laid on the sand his eyes closed. Balian now placing the bloody tip of his blade above his throat.

“My lord no!” Sofia exclaimed, cringing once followed Balian to threaten the man, taking a deterring step forward. But Balian did not kill him, only keeping the blade close to his face and Sofia then released a new sigh. Of relief, for even she had fought that same man a moment ago to possibly wound him, it had been before she had recognized him, and back then she had believed these men to be a threat to her lord. So she was now only glad that Balian did not in fact kill him…Yet at least.

The servant looked up to Balian in confusion, to have expected to get impaled by his blade, and scoured his features and eyes in wonder while Balian stared down at him. Him turning then thoughtful as he behold the man’s stoic demeanor, tilting his head at him.

“You take it very well that I have killed your master”, he mused, truthfully surprised.

“It was the end of his time”, the servant, the true master, answered, nothing but serene as met Balian’s gaze. “All is as God wills it.”

They exchanged a look and Balian nodded, but then the man on the ground turned serious. Preparing himself as leveled a stern look up to the crusader. “Now finish this.”

Sofia watched Balian to raise his sword, about to deliver the finishing blow as pointed the blade at the man embracing his death willingly, but he then saw Sofia to step behind him. Next feeling her to take a hold of the sword’s hilt along with him, looking serious herself as gazed up to him, and Balian sighed in defeat. Eventually letting go of the sword, it staying in Sofia’s hands.

“Take us to Jerusalem”, Balian then simply stated, walking away from the man and went over to the mare, taking a hold of her reins. The man directing a somewhat astonished look after the new baron of Ibelin, until his eyes turned to gaze at the young woman in his company. His princess, but who was but a mere servant to this man who’d just speared his life with no reason. Sofia returning the man’s stare for a moment until also turned away, wiping Balian’s sword to the hem of her robe before returned it to him.

“My lord”, she called, offering the weapon back and Balian received it. Staring at it silently, but by then looking at him Sofia could tell he was suddenly angry.

“Why did you do it?” he asked, his grim eyes rising up to her. “Why did you say you’d rather die before let them harm me?”

Sofia was earnest herself as answered, dropping her eyes briefly. “Because you are my lord. And I’ll do everything I can to protect the lord whom I serve."

“That is not what I want!” Balian exclaimed abruptly, swinging the now sheathed sword to the side while looking at Sofia as well death serious, still angered. Sofia gasping due to his sudden burst of emotion, but this time kept her expression calm. Balian then hesitating for a moment at the sight of her silent confrontation but he eventually sighed, gazing down, Sofia detecting pain in his eyes as he begun to strap the sword back to his belt.

“I am not your lord, Sofia”, he reminded her. “I took you with me because it was the final wish of my father. You have no obligation to me or to the oath you swore to him before he died…So you have no reason to give your life over mine.”

“I do if that is what I decide”, Sofia replied, Balian looking at her in bewilderment.

“Why? Why would you need to die just because you wish to serve me?” he queried. Surprisingly not dropping the topic even usually he didn’t talk much, their conversations more often than not quite short in general. Sofia sighing at him.

“Why would I not? If I wish to give my life over yours, were you my lord or not, why would you not accept my sacrifice with gratitude?” Sofia asked back, still serious, Balian frowning in chagrin.

“Because I do not wish to be burdened by the death of anyone I feel responsible of!” he breathed, instantly repenting his words by letting them slip and fell silent, looking away. Sofia realizing the true meaning behind them as she now recalled what Godfrey had told her about Balian’s wife. Sofia examinging Balian for a moment until answered, compassion in her heart, but didn’t let it affect on her resolve.

“I do not seek death, my lord”, she said, actually compelling Balian to look at her. “I only wish to serve you. That is everything I want. And I will serve you any way it is necessary. But needlessly I am not going to die, even for you, which you obviously fear.”

Balian closed his eyes. “Why, Sofia?” he asked again. “I will only accept if you tell me why.”

“You already accepted me and my reasons the night your father died!” Sofia retorted, louder, causing Balian to jolt as she normally did not raise her voice or either spoke this much at once. Sofia’s gaze very intense as it then hold his until it was then cast down as well.

“You promised your father to take me with you to Holy Land”, she reminded in turn after a small break. “And now you have brought me here. Does this mean you’ll abandon me, my lord?”

Balian froze at the sound of her query and looked at Sofia speechless, matching her solemn stare, until soon looked away. Not knowing what to answer, but he didn't have to as Sofia continued.

“You would not deny me if I did this for love”, she stated, surprising Balian, but again her eyes told him she did not clearly mean what she said. “If you do not wish me to perhaps die for you some day in the future, my lord, then I will accept your wish to send me away. But you wanted a reason, so I tell you… Your father gave me a life. Without him I would’ve been sold, made a prisoner, forced to welcome a future already decided for me. Your father saved me as did you, my lord. And now if I do not follow you and serve you… I have no life to live or place to go. I have nothing.”

Balian gasped again slightly as he then thought a moment, facing Sofia once more, before it was her turn to sigh and look away from him. Saying nothing more and she turned, now meeting momentarily the false servant’s gaze, who had been following their conversation in his own thoughts. Sofia starting to walk on by herself, alone towards Jerusalem, which location she as well knew. Balian taking the mare’s reins again as watched her leave, sending a bit regretful look after her. Yes… She was as alone as he was. Even in this place she called her home.


	6. Jerusalem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom of Heaven, just my own characters and additions to the plot.
> 
> Phrases written in bold; Arabic  
> Phrases written in italics; thoughts, memories, quotes

The three rode towards the gates of Jerusalem, Balian glancing about the holy city now finally spreading in front of him as far as his eye could see after the strenuous, several weeks of travel. Sofia to have walked quite long on her own feet, as Balian had considered her to be somewhat angry and hence hadn’t dared to ask her to ride with him for a while, but eventually he had taken her on the horse behind him. The Muslim servant, whose name now also Balian had learnt to be Imad, laying witness to this in great amusement. Only wishing to be able to tell his lord into what kind of woman his youngest daughter had grown into.

Sofia was gazing at the city as well, a fond smile making way to her lips. She was home. She had returned to Jerusalem. She could not believe that after 10 years she had finally returned home, now beholding those numerous herds of sheep and lingering caravans that journeyed to the holy city, her adoring eyes taking in those changed but still familiar white chapels and minarets, domes and buildings rising above the high, sturdy walls circling the city. And as she couldn’t have been happier to see all this once again she sighed, Balian turning his head to her way, however still not daring to say anything.

They joined the swarms of pilgrims and locals as entered the city, riding through the gates with many other travelers, before them opening a view of countless buildings and archways below a grey, cloudy sky which promised possible rain as an answer to the distant sound of thunder rumbling. Them riding along the streets and venturing deeper within the city until eventually stopped, navigating through the mass of people coming and going in their business, before Balian dismounted and bound the mare next to an unoccupied drinking trough. Imad watching the animal for a moment until patted her neck with a smile once she stretched down to have some water.

“Very good horse”, he remarked, Balian glancing up to him from the mare, as well smoothing her soft mane in ponders. Sofia still sitting on her back, instead gazing at the men behind her veil she had once more covered herself with after entering the city.

“Take the horse. And be about your business”, Balian prompted, smiling himself as Imad looked into his eyes in surprise.

“This is your price of battle. I am your prisoner…your slave, should you wish it”, he told him gravely, taking Balian aback instead with such same caliber of words Sofia had used right after they had rescued her. Him now glancing up to Sofia who only seemed indifferent, staring to the distance until tapped the mare in turn, saying something to her. The horse raising her head and snorted, Sofia smiling and caressing her wavy mane like Balian had a moment ago.

“I have been a slave”, Balian replied as earnestly. “Or very near to one. I will never keep one, nor suffer any to be kept. And Sofia is not an exception. She serves me only due to her own heart’s desire...not because I compel her to do so.”

Sofia moved her eyes to Balian who looked at her remarkably, hoping her to see his apology from his irises that then held hers. Imad examining the two and broke into a slight smile, seeing Sofia to nod, where her gaze smiled in response, until Balian’s attention shifted back to him.

“Go”, he urged, nodding cordially as removed his hand from the mare’s neck. Imad still staring at him slightly bewildered until then took the horse’s reins, his own polite expression displaying respect. Sofia jumping down from the saddle, the mare turning her head towards her and she smiled at the animal in turn.

“ **Goodbye Sharifah”,** she said, smoothing the mare’s head while looked into her eyes. The horse neighing in response to her touch.

“Sharifah? Not bad for a name, woman”, Imad stated. Sofia leveling a remarkable look at him and her smile widened behind the veil.

“ **Salaam alaikum** ”, she bidded, lowering her head, while Imad bowed to her in return. Glancing at Balian.

“ **I see why you have chosen to follow this man. His gestalt is good** ”, he noted, nodding in acceptance, Sofia returning it. “ **Alaikum salaam** , **Amira**.”

Balian examined them, once again wondering what they had said to each other, until he and Sofia now watched Imad to turn around and mount the mare.

“The man you killed was a very great cavalier among Muslims. His name was Mummad al Fais”, he revealed, locking significant gazes with Balian. Sofia sighing in recognition, once again unbeknownst to Balian, who only nodded reverently at the sound of the man’s name.

“I will pray for him.”

“Your quality will be known among your enemies before you ever meet them, my friend”, Imad mused, lastly bowing to Balian as well who returned the gesture, before their new acquaintance then encouraged the mare forward. Without a word more disappearing into the crowd.

“It seems I have robbed you a friend by giving over the horse after all”, Balian stated, smiling a bit amused as glanced at Sofia. “That mare truly trusted you.”

Sofia sighed, gazing down. “Feeling of loss would not be new to me."

Balian gave her a bit saddened look due to her remark, still however not quite fathoming the meaning of her words as often was when it came to this young woman he yet did not know all that well. Her comment to have enclosed so much he had no idea of, and like during the so far instances when she’d cast a slight light to her past with a fleeting turn of phrase, neither did she elaborate now.

* * *

Balian walked along the busy street, Sofia following close in tow, both fallen into their own musings. Balian to have become gloomier due to sudden feeling of fatigue the long journey across the desert right after the shipwreck had brought upon…The countless days not eating or drinking properly not helping much to improve his mood, while added to the other matters weighing down not only his mind but his heart as well. But now that he and Sofia had finally arrived to Jerusalem as planned, only thing he desired was to pray. To do the one thing he had come here to do, which was seeking forgiveness…Everything else coming secondary to him.

Street sellers were offering their products with loud voices as they passed them. Sofia now daring to lower her veil, it staying only to cover her head as she stopped beside a woman who was selling fruits. Sofia using half of her remaining money to purchase a small bag of dates and a tiny loaf of bread from another merchant, soon surprising Balian by tapping him on the shoulder and handing the food to him.

“Eat my lord. You need to recover your strength after days of fast or you’ll faint”, she encouraged him with a smile, then walking forward. “You can eat your fill, but if you would leave some for me too I’d be thankful, my lord.”

Balian looked after Sofia who had spoken for the first time in an hour or so, seeing her now once again start to take in all there was to see as continued her stroll along the lively street. He was starving, yes, and he didn’t have to think twice before digging into the sweet fruits, them easing the rumbling of his empty stomach notably. But as asked he did not eat it all, out of the few Sofia had been able to purchase leaving a couple of fruits and half of the bread into the pouch for Sofia to finish after sunset… When she was allowed to eat.

Sofia continued to walk forward absentmindedly before her lord, until soon heard Balian’s voice as well for the first time in a long while. Sofia turning to see him to have knelt beside a local elderly man who unlike the many vendors was simply lounging by the street, smoking a pipe.

“Old man, where is it that Christ was crucified?” Balian asked him. The man smiling and pointing towards a nearby hill, which could be seen rising up from the other end of the city, reaching high above the buildings of Jerusalem…even the palace itself.

“Follow me, my lord. I’ll show you the way”, Sofia urged then, Balian looking up to her as she at the same moment turned, starting to make her way through the crowd again. Balian standing and following after her, but did then stop momentarily to gaze at the hill…The most sacred attraction of all the pilgrims coming to this city.

They traveled through the crisscrossing streets until finally managed to get out of the main city. Seeing the hill to begin to ascend in front of them, and instantly they begun to climb the stairs built onto the face of the hill, that meandered between the humble houses scattered along the path they were taking, taking them across the settlement built at the base of the hill and eventually leading them all the way to the peak of it…Where Christ once atoned for the sins of all humanity by dying on the cross. Balian truly feeling himself weary again as pushed himself to finish the last of the long pilgrim road that stretched from the faraway city gates to this sacred hill, watching Sofia who was a couple of steps ahead of him. A man, who’d already seen through his personal pilgrimage then walking down the path while using a wooden cross as a walking stick, smiling at Sofia.

“ **Salaam alaikum”** , he greeted. Sofia returning his smile with a bow.

**“Alaikum salaam.”**

Sofia passed the man, hearing him mutter the same greeting to Balian, who let him pass him at the stairs with a respectable bow of his own head. Sofia turning to witness the depth of her lord’s exhaustion, and she then sighed before walked back to him. Surprising Balian by offering him her support, taking hold of him.

“If you give up before meeting God up there…” she said, looking into his eyes before they shifted to peer at the peak of the hill. “…He will not listen to you once you do. You must not give in to your strain just yet.”

Balian said nothing but nodded, smiling back a little. And together they now walked the rest of the way up, the challenging pilgrim road not coming to an end until it was already twilight. And as they reached the final stretch of the path Balian then separated from Sofia, desiring to walk the rest of the way on his own. And Sofia let him, now only hurrying her own steps, and there they then finally saw it. The chapel built at the very top of the hill, which any man could see loom in the heights even from so far down at the streets or outside the city.

Balian let out a sigh. Sofia giving him a passing look but said nothing, leaving him to his own thoughts as herself walked to the edge of the hill. To gaze down at the surrounding city preparing for the forthcoming night until sighed herself. And closing her eyes she made a cross over her chest, kneeling. Letting her own strain to take the best of her as then but reveled in this moment…in the bliss of finally being here, instantly memories of old flooding back to her. Balian walking over to the edge too, sitting down and simply watched as she then begun to pray, but this time it wasn’t the same as several other times he’d seen her pray before. This was different, much more solemn and meaningful, her looking as she would’ve reached inner peace by just sitting here, on the hill of the Christ, praying. And that’s what he should’ve felt too. Balian soon taking out his wife’s cross, examining it at a loss...For even though he’d also made the journey to the sole place even the most corrupted soul was told to find purpose, while now sitting at the shadow of the large cross towering over him, he didn’t feel fulfilled.

 _God, what is it You want of me?_ he wondered, directing his question to the heavens, feeling actual confusion instead as his gaze then brushed over the city of Jerusalem where he’d been assured to find forgiveness. But now, under the very eyes of God, he didn’t sense Him to reach out to offer comfort to his troubled soul…and quickly found himself not all that sure about what had brought him here the first place.

The darkness fell over Jerusalem, the other people occupying the sacred hill lighting fires around the two travelers, in addition to few other lights shining in the night at the distant city as Sofia and Balian continued to sit still, consumed by their prayers. Until after an hour Sofia stood up from her spot, pulling the scarf from her head and set her hair free to the slow breeze. Balian digging his saddlebag and gave the remaining food to her.

“You haven’t eaten”, he stated, with a ghost of smile, which however hardly was one. “It would be bad for your health not to.”

Sofia examined him, in addition to his weariness being able to see the depth of his sadness she could but imagine. Her sighing, feeling sorry for her lord and said a small prayer for him, hoping that God would indeed speak to him this night and give him the answers he came all the way here to seek…And which he needed to make amends with himself and his sins, as well as his grief. Silently Sofia accepting the food from him, him immediately falling back to his melancholy search of God, while all the time clasping to that small silvery cross he cradled in his palms.

So there they sat all night till sunrise, Balian finally moving from his own spot at the first light of the dawning morning. Sofia following as after hours of fostering his wife’s keepsake in utter silence he suddenly dug a hole into the ground before placed a lingering kiss on his palm, finally dropping the cross into the excavation. Covering the necklace with dirt, and with a surprised expression Sofia lastly watched him pile rocks over the now buried cross of his beloved. Once finished Balian looking up to the early morning sky...Still lacking of actual providence, only further aching within.

 _How can you be in hell…when you’re in my heart?_ he questioned in his mind, even he already knew not to get an answer. His gaze wandering from the clear sky to his surroundings until it found Sofia, who as well stood a little farther away from him. Sending him a small smile which told of compassion before she turned, walking to the edge of the hill again to now gaze at the still rising sun. Sofia sighing deeply.

How long had she wanted to say her prayers here and see the sun rise from the Calvary? Too long. She closed her eyes, smiling, tying the scarf back loosely to cover her hair. But it didn’t take long before she heard footsteps, them stopping next to her.

“I am sorry”, Balian’s voice said, truly repenting, although she knew not why.

“Have you not come to ask forgiveness from God?” Sofia questioned, opening her eyes. “You need not to ask mine, my lord.”

“I do. In order to find what I seek I have to be sorry for my actions”, Balian answered, now looking at Sofia after seeing past the bright sunlight almost hiding her from view. “I am sorry I offended you, Sofia. I know you want to serve me out of your free will and I am not going to reject you or your servitude, and am only thankful for your loyalty to me. To a man you hardly even know…” Balian kept a break. “Your desire to serve me delights me, truly. But your way of expressing it just made me think…”

“Of your wife?” Sofia then offered gently as Balian once more silenced. Him appearing a bit surprised that Sofia knew, but then just nodded, Sofia mulling over his words for a moment until sighed, turning to Balian.

“I know everything I need to know to serve you with delight myself”, she said, meeting Balian’s gaze, smiling. “You have a good demeanor, no matter what you may believe of yourself. It is evident, even now under all that you have come here to ask forgiveness for…And that goodness in you, the same your father had, is the reason why I serve you, my lord.”

Balian stared at Sofia somewhat disbelieving, but then nodded for the second time and dared to smile too.

“As long as you are not angry to me”, he mused, Sofia’s smile widening.

“I forgive you, my lord.”

“Thank you Sofia.”

“For what, my lord?”

“For staying awake with me all night, although you must’ve been tired.”

Sofia then tilted her head indifferently, looking down at the once again lively city. “I have no idea what you are talking of, my lord”, she answered after a while. But Balian only smiled. For no matter what she would say he knew her to have stayed by his side because she knew that he had not wanted to be alone after all…As it was true.

* * *

Balian had given Sofia some money to buy them breakfast, as from the two of them she was the one who knew the local food. Him simply following after her through the narrow streets which were once more filled with numerous people doing business with the merchants, buying everything possible from jewelry to carpets to animals, and many other things which Balian had never seen or heard of in his lifetime. Him eyeing at the sold products himself curiously as then watched Sofia to at first stop by a certain vendor to buy more fruits, next acquiring a little meat and lastly some bread. The air that buzzed from all the noises of the swarming people rich of the mixture of smells such as spices, incense and perfumes, and including the competing shouts of the merchants Balian could detect the random howls and barks of street dogs, clear laughter of children as well as the cackle of chickens. Making that place burst for life as usual.

Sofia was now conversing in Arabic over the price of the bread with a woman responsible of the booth, as Balian examined his surroundings once more. But at that moment there was a man, cloth into a uniform of a crusader who noted the sword that hung from Balian’s back. The man eyeing at this young stranger he did not know, although he knew the sword and the man who had once wielded it, exactly because of that then leveling but suspicious glances at Balian. Him then nodding to another man dressed in the same uniform as he was, crouched to converse with a couple of locals, until he also noticed the unfamiliar man. Just as Sofia returned to Balian with the food.

“Eat, my lord. I shall take your sword and carry it for you”, she said, extending her hand. Balian hesitating for a moment, but then just gave in and handed over the weapon. Sofia smiling and bowing before turned around once more, where Balian opened the pouch to take out one of the purchased fruits. Just as a small boy accidentally ran against Sofia who only smiled down at him in response to his startled expression, said something gently and patted the boy’s head, him soon running off again. Upon observing them Balian detecting something different in Sofia’s eyes during that instance, but could not tell what it was before it disappeared along with the child.

They continued walking along the street, not noticing the men currently following them, their dubious eyes strictly fixated on Balian. A couple of more children now running towards Balian and Sofia, who swerved to the side upon reaching an archway at the end of the street. But it was then when Balian detected movement from the corner of his eye, and which stopped immediately after they did, him frowning imperceptibly as scoured the bustling mass of people with his gaze. Soon enough spotting four men, perhaps five, who weren’t simply loitering about the market in means of inspecting the offered goods, but watching them…Indeed following them.

Balian quickened his steps and strode over to a fountain that rose from the ground in middle of a small clearing they now arrived at, Sofia giving him a quizzical look due to the abrupt change in his behavior. Her following him and saw Balian to place his robe upon the fountain's edge, his overall bearing rather tense.

“My lord, what is it?” she asked. But Balian startled her by not answering and only pulling his sword from its sheath, which still was in her hands.

“Cover yourself”, he ordered silently, although Sofia was but confused by his grim exterior she obeyed, gathering her hair quickly and covering the lower part of her face with the scarf just as Balian then turned around. His sword resting on his shoulder and now also Sofia saw those four crusaders who trailed behind them, all of their eyes still riveted to Balian. Three to four more appearing to their sides, making it impossible for them to escape, and Balian sighed in frustration as he watched them to end up cornered by these strangers. Now what?

“You must’ve known him”, the bald man at the front of the group then started to speak. Pensively, realization making an appearance in Balian’s eyes as he turned his head a little, but only looked away indifferently. Sofia examining the man as well, sharing her lord’s wonder over his previous statement.

“What?” Balian asked.

“Since you carry Godfrey’s sword, you must have known him”, the man specified, Balian turning less stern due to the mention of his father, and he thought a moment until nodded affirmatively. A flicker of sadness mellowing down his staid expression, where Sofia leveled a look of pity at him.

“I did”, Balian agreed.

“A man my size”, the man inquired, squinting his eyes due to direct sunlight. Sofia tilting her head at his probing tone, glancing at Balian who met the man’s gaze until stepped down from the pedestal edging the fountain, looking briefly down as well.

“Yes”, he answered with a new nod, the man gauging at him attentively.

“And green eyes”, he questioned. Sofia seeing the expectation from his eyes which then only proved this person to be testing Balian and the credibility of his words…Since Godfrey had not been born with green eyes, that much she as well knew, for she had many times gazed into the elder crusader’s eyes which had been…

“Blue”, Balian corrected, a hint of smile on his lips then after his thoughts reeled back to the previous weeks, remembering his father. Sofia seeing the men to glance at each other in surprise, until the spoken one now leveled an earnest look at Balian…but not the kind from before.

“Come with us”, he urged, not with authority but as more of a suggestion, until his gaze then softened and he bowed his head in respect. “…my lord.”

Both Sofia and Balian were astonished, but Balian even more as he now followed these suddenly appeared men all bow their heads to him. But soon they straightened and without a word more begun to walk away, Balian and Sofia eventually following after an exchange of taken aback glances. One of the men then however taking notice of Sofia and he frowned at her, before next grabbed Sofia and turned her around. Confronting her.

“Who are you?” he demanded loudly, Balian watching with the rest of the crusaders as the said man eyed at Sofia suspiciously, naturally to have not seen her before and found her covered appearance but unnerving. Balian stepping back.

“It’s fine. She’s my…” he started, but was cut short by Sofia who now made a rapid spin, throwing the man holding onto her around, succeeding due to the element of surprise. And as his grip of her loosened and he crashed against a pile of boxes, he could do nothing as Sofia’s left arm had seized him instead. Holding him in place, while the right one was pressing the tip of her second dagger onto his neck, Sofia gazing at the stunned man tensely, where the man was gawking back at her in bewilderment.

“Sofia!” Balian called, the men gasping and glancing at each other in confusion, until the man who’d addressed him now sided Balian.

“My lord, you said…” he mused, trailing off as gazed at Sofia’s covered form. Balian nodding.

“She’s with me. She is a servant my father left me”, he informed, although did feel a sting of remorse due to his choice of words. The men raising their eyebrows.

“She?” the man asked.

The crusader Sofia was staring at now saw her glance towards Balian, but although cautious of her carefully he raised his hand, pulling down the scarf and revealed Sofia’s face and hair, indeed finding his attacker to be a woman. This fact shocking him, even more so once he realized her to be a Saracen…But Sofia’s gaze didn’t falter.

“Your servant is a woman? A Saracen woman?” the crusader questioned, but Sofia then spoke for herself while giving the man a sharp lookover.

“I do not trust you enough yet to know you won’t do anything to my lord”, she said. “And if needed, I will bring him shame by killing one of his vassals in self-defense…”

Sofia then released the man, casting one more look of suspicion at him until withdrew her weapons. Sheathing them as locked gazes with the other men who did then indeed flinch at the sight of this Saracen woman standing before them. Balian sighing, where Sofia only seemed heedless to the men’s dismay, putting on the scarf to cover her hair again. The man she had threatened continuing to stare at her, his hand pressed to the spot her dagger had so easily been stationed.

“Should you not punish this woman due to her deeds?” the bald man asked, looking at Balian. But he only sighed the second time, looking at Sofia with quirked brows, although Sofia could see amusement in his brown eyes.

“No. She is usually the gentlest woman I have ever met, but becomes dangerous only when she is guarding my life”, he answered nonchalantly, soon turning around again to leave. The men giving Sofia and Balian odd looks as she then just eyed at them with a smile, nodding at them each once walked after her lord. The men eventually following, and after surpassing their momentary outrage soon took the lead.

* * *

Balian and Sofia were led by the men to a house, which according to the man called Almaric who’d been the first to address Balian was one of the residences Godfrey had owned, and which now obviously belonged to Balian…The new baron of Ibelin.

Just after their arrival Balian was showed to his room where he could recover from the strain of the journey, and after a bath and a meal he instantly fell asleep. Not waking up until the following morning once sunlight suddenly shone directly to his closed eyes from between the opened windows shutters, him stirring awake with a frown, soon detecting distinct giggling somewhere from the room and the footsteps of the servant maids as they were first hovering about the bed until retreated to eye at their new, far more younger and good-looking lord shyly from the doorway. Balian sitting up halfway in his bed, glancing at his clothes and remembering where he was, when then suddenly a familiar voice speaking in a scolding manner woke his attention.

“ **Your lord needs privacy! Go back to your duties!”** Sofia’s voice commanded gently and the servant maids silenced, at once nodding to her in respect and left the room. Sofia to have been immediately recognized as the main servant of her lord and hence gained great reverence among the rest, probably just because of this. After all these servant maids alone to have submitted to everything she’d said to them, as just had been proven. Balian now rising up fully as turned, to see indeed Sofia stand at the door, but she then walked inside the room. Rounding the bed, and giving her lord a small smile placed a tray she was carrying beside him with a bow of her head.

“Good morning, my lord”, she bidded, meeting Balian’s eyes once until turned her back to him, starting to prepare tea for him. Leaving him at first a bit taken aback due to her so respectable manner of conduct, but after bypassing it Balian then stood up.

“Good morning”, he responded, walking next to Sofia who didn’t raise her gaze from the tealeaves as he stopped to look at her. Noticing she had dyed her lips, covering the tattoo, hiding the mark which spoke of her origin.

“I trust you have rested well?” Sofia asked as well politely, glancing slightly up to Balian. He nodded.

“I did.”

“Good. You needed it, my lord. We have traveled over a week without true rest at any point.”

“Have you rested, Sofia?” Balian inquired. “As you said, we both went through that tiring journey.”

Sofia smiled. “I was given a room from the servants’ quarters”, she answered, now pouring water through the tealeaves. “I did sleep. But have been up for a long time as it was my duty to get to know this house and its people as well as possible to be able to serve you, my lord. Even if this is not your main residence.”

Balian accepted the cup Sofia now gave him with a nod and smiled, but then thought a moment.

“I shall arrange you a guest room to sleep in”, he told her, a tad more serious. But Sofia only looked up to him in honest surprise.

“For what reason, my lord? I thank you for your kindness, but my place is with the servants, as you know”, she declined. Baffled Balian examining this woman who’d been born a princess, to be served like one, but who now was staring at him sincerely clueless to his intention of giving her a decent room from one of those meant for guests. And Balian considered Sofia more like a guest than a servant she so readily designated herself as, so her reaction truly confused him. But on the second thought, he had said it himself yesterday…That Sofia was his servant…Him now sighing at that notion before nodded, giving in.

“Alright. As you wish”, he agreed. Sofia smiling until gathered the used supplies and raised the tray.

“Do you wish me to prepare a bath for you, my lord?” she queried, glancing at the tub next to the bed, but Balian shook his head.

“No need. I bathed last evening before sleeping”, he said. Sofia nodding before took off, heading for the door again after bowing to Balian. Him then taking notice that she’d had a change of clothes too from that all black attire into a pale orange dress under the light brown robe, which also covered her hair.

“Then you should come down and have breakfast, my lord!” Sofia urged, stopping momentarily at the doorway herself to meet Balian’s gaze. “Almaric asked me to inform you that he is waiting for you downstairs.”

Balian nodded although struggled to connect with the name at first, leaving the bedside with a significant glance given to the young woman. “I’ll come with you.”

Balian walked to Sofia who waited, him after all discarding the prepared tea on the table, and together they then crossed over to the proximate room of Balian’s quarters. Him however stopping to watch out of the window, a small dog appearing from out of nowhere and commenced to bustle at their feet, as the dry wind fluttered the curtains. Coming in from the open windows and soon a church bell begun to toll in the air, the sound carrying to their ears from the faraway hill of Golgotha. Sofia looking out as well, smiling.

“Beautiful view isn’t it, my lord?” she questioned. “You can be connected with God at every hour of the day from this very room. You have a beautiful house, my lord.”

Balian smiled as well, although unwittingly, as he didn’t know _his_ house at all, glancing at Sofia. “Thank you.”

But then the door opened and one of the male servants of the residence stepped inside. Starting to speak in quick Arabic, causing Balian to turn awkward and he glanced at Sofia once more for help who responded in his place, the man continuing and he nodded at Balian before bowed to him. Balian only frowning in wonder as returned the gesture, until Sofia then let out an amused laugh and faced him.

“It seems the bath has already been prepared for you, my lord”, Sofia informed him, surprising Balian whose gaze now shifted between Sofia and the man at the door. “He has come to fetch you.”

Even though Balian had said there was no need for bath, he still didn’t say anything to object this time as it had already been poured for him. Him nodding once more in understanding until directed his steps to the door, the male servant gesturing him to go first. But Balian did stop to glance back at Sofia, who then just bowed her head.

“I shall come later”, she promised. “I go tell Almaric that you’ll see him once you have bathed, my lord.”

Balian tensed by Sofia’s earlier words, but made yet another rigid nod until turned, following the servant all the way to the other side of the house where the bathing area was situated outside of the main residence. Some time later Balian standing up in the large tub, which had been carved out from stone, finished with his bath before the same male servant now stepped over to the edge. Locking gazes with him, starting to speak in his native language, and Balian who obviously did not understand anything only gave him puzzled looks in return. Feeling now even more awkward as the servant maids waiting at the base of the elevated tub towels in their hands giggled at his modesty, smiling widely as eyed at him from their respective spots….Trying to steal more revealing glances at him now that he was only halfly covered by the bathwater.

Although Balian was only content that Sofia had not come to serve him, as it was already uncomfortable enough having so many women ogling at him while he was…this exposed in that tub, he still would’ve wished her to be present to translate the words of the male servant to him. But leaving that aside, Balian then waved his hand at the man.

“No. No, give me the towel”, he told him, glancing at the man remarkably before then leveled a somewhat wary look at the women, noticing them to be indeed holding towels. Ready to dry him once he would come out, but despite of his desire to spear them as well as himself from that the male servant just kept on talking.

“Give me the towel!” Balian ordered, this time a bit more vehemently as slight embarrassment took over him. There was no way he would just stand up like this without anything to cover himself with in front of these women.

“Give me the towel”, Balian repeated once more, with a calmer voice this time around as extended his arm towards the man, who finally understood. Saying something as at long last handed the towel to his lord.

Just then Sofia walked towards the entrance to the patio, where the bathing area was, but halted on the doorstep at the sight of her lord stepping out of the tub. Circling the towel around his lower body before walked down the few steps to the ground level, trying to appear calm, although the presence of all those female servants truly made him uncomfortable by the looks of it. Sofia smiling in amusement once she behold Balian’s clearly awkward expression when the four widely smiling, ever giggling servant maids then immediately came forth and begun to dry him. Balian raising his brows and his attention was strictly riveted to the ceiling, him however allowing the women to do their job. The male servant who’d remained by the tub as well smiling at the sight amused, until soon spoke up to the women who instantly stepped away. Balian taking that as a sign for him to exit, but once he tried to leave, or escape the scene with as much dignity as possible, the women’s amused laugh ringing in his ears, he froze as he then abruptly saw Sofia stand right in front of him. Smiling at him.

Balian turned embarrassed, glancing away as Sofia only quirked her eyebrows and teased the man by giving him one throughout look form head to toe, until she then extended her hands which carried some folded clothing.

“I brought you some clothes to change into, my lord”, she said, still smiling, hint of mirth in her voice to see a grown man stand that ashamed in front of her. Balian putting on his poker face and met her gaze, smiling slightly with a nod and took the clothes, holding the towel with his other hand. Sofia bowing until then gestured towards a room on Balian’s right.

“You may change in there, my lord”, she informed him. Balian nodding again but said nothing as quickly entered the room, Sofia closing the door after him.

Balian let out a sigh. Why of all people it had to be Sofia who walked into that room? It hadn’t been as embarrassing to even have all those other women staring and snickering at him, but it was different with Sofia because he knew her…And for her to have seen him wearing only a towel… It bothered him. But what confused him was that she hadn’t seemed at all affected by his bare form, wearing almost nothing, Balian sighing again at this. Dropping the clothes on the table next to him.

After five minutes Balian heard a knock, and as he gave the permission to enter, he saw who else than Sofia to peek inside. Asking was he ready and after a nod from Balian she smiled, curtsying and opened the doors for him, before next begun to lead the way out of the bathing area. After all stopping momentarily once another woman walked over to her, carrying a basket full of oranges and Sofia smiled at the sight of them. Taking one and saying something in Arabic, until the servant curtsied to Balian in turn and left, Sofia now facing to the man who’d come to a halt behind her, surprising him as she gave the round fruit to him.

“There you go. It’s from your own garden. Picked specially for you, my lord”, she told him, before resumed her own walk along the corridor. Balian weighing the fruit in his hand until went after her, following Sofia all the way downstairs, noting that she moved around in the house as if she had lived there all her life. Surprising him even more as they’d arrived not but last evening, him however then shifting his focus to the house. Gazing around the halls and corridors they passed by as Sofia then took him to a notably bigger room from the others, where Balian now noted a chain mail and weapons to have been placed into view. Concluding them to be his father’s war gear.

Sofia stopped to gaze at her lord as Balian came to a new halt next to the displayed effects, eyeing at them as his father’s words now welled up from their brief oblivion, echoing in his mind. Him touching the dismantled armor in thoughts, soon taking hold of an object laying in middle of the weapons and other equipment.

 _“A man who in France had not a house, is in Holy Land the master of the city”,_ Balian heard his father’s voice speak in his mind, causing him to gaze at the weaponry in deep thought. Was this really true?

“Were these your father’s, my lord?” Sofia asked, pulling Balian out of his musings as he looked up to her. Giving her a half smile.

“So it seems.”

Sofia as well eyed at the chain mail and weapons a moment in ponders of her own, until then urged her lord to come along. Balian doing as she asked and after a while Sofia turned to their left from the following corner, starting to descend the stairs leading down to a small courtyard, Balian’s hand sliding along the rail as he took to the staircase as well, looking down. Spotting a local family who was busy clearing out a breakfast table at the end of the stairs, but after nodding to Sofia they greeted their new master. Balian giving their deep bows a bit uneasy glance, but after looking at Sofia briefly he remembered something. Nodding to them.

“ **Alaikum salaam** ”, he responded, remembering indeed the words he had heard Sofia use many times as a greeting, now surprising the woman who turned to him in astonishment. But she then only smiled and was about to continue walking across the yard, a neigh however cutting her intentions short and she and Balian saw his horse to be hold at bay by two men who tried to calm the jittery steed down.

“Stop! You’re hurting him”, Balian called out, looking at the horse and surprising the servants, who then let the animal go. Them and all of the other servants including Sofia then following as Balian handed the orange to a boy nearest him before hoisted his hand, touching the horse’s neck.

“Whoa, whoa”, he said to him calmly, smoothing his side for a moment, before bent down to check the horse’s legs. Soon calling out to Sofia, who immediately placed her tray onto a nearby stool and came to him, bowing.

“Yes, my lord?” she asked, Balian again cringing at the honorific. Not really comfortable with her speaking so respectively to him, or rather the whole “ _my lord_ ” title didn’t seem to agree with him in a way that it would feel natural.

“You know how to handle horses”, Balian remarked, smiling as beckoned to the animal, Sofia returning his smile. “Make sure he’s taken care of and brought to his stall in good hands.”

“Yes, my lord.”

Balian followed as Sofia looked at the horse, meeting his eyes and spoke to him, murmuring with that same smile on her lips as then caressed his neck as well, taking a hold of his reins. Although Balian had been able to calm him the horse now turning completely serene due to Sofia’s touch and voice which both as expected did their magic, her lastly humming to the steed.

“ **Good boy. Calm and listen to my voice** ”, she said, some servants whispering around the yard in wonder. Balian’s attention however getting drawn to four dogs that all of a sudden sprinted through the gates, not long after two riders arriving as well. Him giving them a surprised look each, examining them, while the first entered rider stopped their horse right in front of him. Looking straight at Balian, who then realized the rider to be a woman. Balian assuming this from the eyes showing under that similar type of veil Sofia used, but from the expensive looking robes and jewelry on her person he could as well deduce this woman to be someone important. A noble, the woman in question returning his stare for a short moment after her eyes had scoured the faces of the people gathered at the yard, confusion in them.

“Where’s your master?” she demanded.

“I have none”, Balian said simply, the woman leveling one more gauging look at him as pulled down the veil, now revealing her face completely.

“Give me some water”, she ordered, Balian obeying, not saying a word about his true identity, which in fact made him the least suitable man to serve her. But regardless he filled a dipper with water from a bucket that was immediately brought to him, the woman measuring him carefully as he then offered the scoop to her.

Sofia was also observing this arrived woman of high status, understanding instantly from her eminent demeanor and behavior her to be someone of royal origin once she then took the dipper and drank, not shifting her eyes from Balian. But as Sofia watched this woman she suddenly seemed vaguely familiar to her… Sofia figuring she detected a flicker of interest in those cold blue eyes of the woman as she now smiled, handing back the dipper to Balian who was smoothing her pale horse’s neck.

“Thank you for the drink”, the woman said politely, straightening her posture. Balian nodding and stepped back, still holding the woman’s gaze as she soon continued.

“If you happen to see Balian, son of Godfrey… tell him that Sibylla called.”

Sofia’s eyes widened once the woman revealed her name, causing her to blink in disbelief. Princess Sibylla? Princess Sibylla…of Jerusalem? At the realization of this Sofia looking down automatically, now remembering to have actually seen this woman many, many years ago, hoping her not to remember her as Sofia had been but a small child back then…Balian noticing the way she then bowed her head down to hide her face, just as the woman named Sibylla also spotted Sofia behind Balian. Her examination moving over to her and she eyed at her thoughtfully for awhile too, soon feeling somewhat strange as gazed at this young Saracen, who now looked up to her rather timidly upon sensing her gaze. But in the end the woman only smiled and bowed her head courteously, for a fleeting moment Sibylla thinking that she recognized that smile, but simply regarding it as a foolish notion she then returned the gesture. Nodding.

“ **Salaam alaikum** ”, Sibylla greeted. Sofia sighing but smiled again, curtsying.

“ **Alaikum salaam**.”

Sibylla then brought her horse around, giving a brisk order to her escort in Arabic and without a word more left, Balian directing a thoughtful look after her as she and her entourage rode out of the gates. Sofia instead releasing a deep, furtive sigh of relief, closing her eyes. Thank Allah the princess had not recognized her, alhough it had been many years since they’d met, only briefly of course, and Sofia had covered her tattoo. She was safe. No one would find out about her being alive…

“Sofia?” Balian’s voice then called and Sofia snapped out of her thoughts, looking at her lord slightly taken aback, until gave him a smile with a nod in response to his questionable expression.

“Forgive me. Did you say something, my lord?” she asked, holding up the reins of the horse. Balian examining her for a brief moment until shook his head dismissively.

“No. Nothing.”

Sofia nodded and cracked her tongue as now she led the horse away from the courtyard, the two servants accompanying her to show her the way to the stables, but on her way Sofia spotted a familiar man to walk to sight and she broke into a smile, bowing. The hospitaler doing the same but his smile was wider, now Balian as well seeing him at the other side of the yard.

“It is good to see you, Sofia”, the hospitaler greeted, coming closer, gauging at the young woman who smiled again. Delighted.

“You as well, my lord.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Name translations: Sharifah (noble)


	7. Tiberias

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was sooooooo hard to edit for some reason...I dunno, it took double the time to get it done..So forgive me if I missed something.
> 
> Phrases written in bold; Arabic  
> Phrases written in italics; thoughts, memories, quotes

A knock on the door woke the companions from their conversation and the two men turned to see it open, Sofia stepping inside. The hospitaler smiled, waving her over.

“Come in, Sofia”, he urged, Sofia nodding as closed the door.

“You called for me?” she asked, looking at both of the men. The hospitaler answering for Balian.

“Yes well, Balian did not call but a servant to help him to get dressed, but I should’ve known it to be you helping him”, he replied, a hint of tease in his voice and Balian sighed, Sofia only smiling. She looked at the uniform of a crusader that rested on the chair, walking over to it.

“Let us start then”, she stated, raising the heavy chain mail to take a clean shirt from under it, nodding to Balian.

“My lord, would you remove your shirt?” she asked, Balian stiffening for a brief moment. But as Sofia only seemed indifferent and the hospitaler simply smiled in amusement due to his reaction, Balian let it go, removing his shirt as instructed. Sofia smiling as well and handed him the clean one, which he immediately put on, as after all felt uncomfortable to have Sofia standing right next to him while he changed, were it just a shirt or not. But instantly Sofia was then by his side, offering the chain mail.

Balian took a hold of it, putting it over the shirt and without a particular order Sofia started to work with the hood and the straps to hold the light armor in place, the men following her experienced actions in surprise. Sofia still continuing to confuse them, seeming like a completely normal woman on the outside, but the things she did amazed them greatly by being so out of ordinary.

“Where have you come to learn such skills as tying a chain mail and wield a weapon, Sofia?” the hospitaler did then inquire in interest, still following the woman’s accustomed hands as they worked with the chain mail, soon finishing and she stepped back to retrieve the tunic which had the symbol of the crusaders printed on it; several crosses in the colors of white and red. Balian glancing at Sofia, seeing her freeze for a moment, her eyes telling him she wasn’t sure did she want to answer to that question. But then those same irises showed her to give in to the truth.

“When I was 15, I was sold to a German warlord”, she told them, now raising the cover shirt and came to Balian, although not looking at him as spoke and threaded the tunic on him. “He told me that women should know how to defend themselves as much as men should. Especially I, who was in favor of a great warrior like him and could get captured during battles to be used as a hostage”, Sofia continued, the men exchanging a look as she then went to retrieve Balian’s belt.

“So my master taught me how to fight. I had learnt some basic training at my father’s palace by watching the soldiers, but my skills weren’t actually realised before the age of 15. And it was also with this warlord I had my first experience in fighting, as he brought me along to long expeditions of conquest. But for my joy I spent most of my time only healing the wounded…”

Balian frowned due to Sofia’s tale. To make such a young girl shed blood at battlefield was horrible enough, but when he obviously could understand the true meaning of her words…It made him sick to his stomach as whenever he thought of the life Sofia had lived the last ten years, what she had had to endure to stay alive. Being sold like a bag of grain from a man to another without a choice…

The hospitaler as well thought something similar, but then simply nodded instead of offering his sympathy. “He indeed was a great teacher”, he praised, giving Sofia a wide smile. “I have seen you fight and am sure you to be a terrifying opponent on the battlefield… And it is good that he saw fit to teach you to defend yourself, was there a war or not.”

Sofia now shook her head as strapped Balian’s belt in place. “I have no wish to be put into a situation of battle again. For f I am honest, those two years of my life were the most horrible. And I wish not to have to think all those horrible things I did under the command of my master. Even capable, I am not a woman of sword but a mere servant…”

Balian turned his gaze to Sofia who straightened, actually looking into his eyes. And he saw pain in hers, sadness. Same emotions he’d been plagued with ever since fleeing the murder he had committed in France, but Sofia then said nothing more and only smiled faintly, looking away. Balian examining her, feeling his heart twitch for compassion.

“Indeed…” the hospitaler mused, also seeing the young woman’s inner distress while recalling her past life. But he then leant back on his chair and took a date from the table next to him, looking at Balian who by then had also sat back down. Changing the subject.

“So, how do find you Jerusalem?” he inquired, looking curious. Balian instead turning rather gloomy.

“God does not speak to me. Not even on the hill where Christ died”, he replied, standing up again as he couldn’t stay still due to his risen frustration. “I am outside of God’s grace.”

“I have not heard that”, the hospitaler commented indifferently, gazing up to Balian.

“At any rate it seems…I have lost my religion”, Balian remarked, death serious, but he then gasped a bit as heard Sofia’s soft laugh. Casting a baffled look at her while she was folding his removed clothes a bit farther away, her now looking up to her lord in turn.

“Maybe it is not that you have lost your religion and cannot hear God speaking to you for that reason…” she suggested, meeting Balian’s gaze as he was still eyeing at her quizzically. Sofia smiling, continuing to work with her hands.

“…But maybe it is that you don’t know how to listen”, she continued. “If your heart is weighed down by many worries and sins of the past you wish to be forgiven for, and hence fear God’s judgment over those acts, you cannot hear His voice. Although God usually does not speak to you directly, but His will and voice comes from within yourself. When God has forgiven you, you feel it within.”

Sofia looked both of the men, her smile then turning sad. “I myself have tried to ask forgiveness on many occasion…but have never felt absolved. But still I trust that when I pray He will hear me and listen, whether my prayers have some worth or not…”

Small silence descended into the room until the hospitaler leant on his chair’s arms, leveling a serious look at Balian as well.

“What Sofia says is true”, he agreed, exchanging a look with the young woman, until turned his attention back to Balian.

“But I put no stock in religion”, he continued, soon looking into Balian’s eyes remarkably as spoke. “By the word ‘ _religion_ ’ I’ve seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the ‘ _will of God_ ’. I have seen too much religion in the eyes of too many murderers."

Sofia’s hands stopped as she listened to him, seeing the meaning behind his words herself as thought about all the devastation she had also witnessed to occur in the name of ‘ _faith_ ’. Especially here in Jerusalem where her father continued to fight with the Christian king, even though this city which dominion was the key to the rule of all Holy Land was a sanctuary to both of their respective faiths as the Holy city of both Muslims and Christians. At the saddening thought of that Sofia dropping her gaze while the hospitaler glanced at her, as if hearing her thoughts, until she continued working.

“Holiness is in right action”, the hospitaler explained, relating his view of the matter, and soon Balian had a realization over his words. “…and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves. And goodness, what God desires, is here… and here.”

The hospitaler had now risen from his seat, walking to Balian before Sofia saw him at first point at her lord’s head and then his heart. Having an epiphany herself, agreeing with everything the man had just said.

“And what you decide to do every day, you will be a good man…or not”, the hospitaler finished with a slight smile, holding Balian’s gaze for a while and saw understanding in them, until then he turned to look at Sofia. Balian following his gaze to eye at her as well.

“When you agreed to take that girl with you, that Balian, was an act of a good man”, the hospitaler said quietly, smiling. “And you need not to wonder why she stays beside you. She might not have faced such altruistic kindness for years what you have shown her, and that goodness she sees in you is what keeps her by your side.”

Balian let out a deep breath as he examined Sofia, until smiled a bit. “She said something similar”, he admitted, casting his eyes to the floor momentarily in thoughts. But Sofia now noted the men’s stare and straightened her back, tilting her head.

“Is something the matter my lord?” she asked, Balian blinking.

“No. You may go, Sofia”, he answered, Sofia nodding.

“Do you not wish me to come with you?”

“It is fine, Sofia. You stay here and prepare a meal till your lord’s arrival”, the hospitaler cut in, Sofia then nodding again and offering one more smile to the man until exited the room. The hospitaler remaining silent for a moment until then tipped his own head, beckoning his companion to follow.

“Come”, he urged and went to the door, Balian joining him, and together they then walked out of the house to the courtyard where their horses were waiting, saddled and ready. Them mounting the steeds before departed, Balian following the hospitaler as he led him across the city, on their way to meet the Marshal of Jerusalem, Tiberias, whom the hospitaler had said to have wished to meet Godfrey’s son after hearing about his arrival.

Balian had been told him to be a man of grand reputation, and one of the most trusted advisors of the reigning king Baldwin VI, as well as good friends with Balian’s father, or so he had understood. But he felt rather nervous to meet this man for some reason, it to have started the moment Balian had been presented with the crusader uniform and once the hospitaler had informed to have come to fetch him to a meeting with the marshal…But this all was just so new to him compared to the simple life of a blacksmith he had lived not so long ago…This in fact very abrupt change actually overwhelming him at times.

They rode straight to the marshal’s office through the complicated streets of the city, which as always at that time of day were riddled with people. But the area where the office had been placed at the outskirts of the royal palace was only full of soldiers, crusaders and Templars. And as Balian and the hospitaler entered through the gates, riding inside the palace area and dismounting from their horses just outside the office of Tiberias, huge uproar of men carried into Balian’s ears along with the loud toll of a bell.

“The King has made a peace with Saladin these past six years”, the hospitaler revealed to him as they walked under a canopy and turned to follow an ongoing execution, seeing two men wearing the uniform of the Templars to have been set to stand on a ledge coming out of the wall, hangman’s noose wired around their necks, while the crowd of men was screaming at them. Some demanding for their death and some lambasting it as a violation against God, opposing to their hanging.

“…he holds Jerusalem as a place for prayer for all faiths as the Muslims did before we came”, the hospitaler continued. “These men are Templars. They killed Arabs.”

Balian was eyeing at the hospitaler while mulled over the knowledge of their king to have indeed made Jerusalem a place that Sofia had often referred to as ideal live in. Balian looking thoughtful as then turned to face the execution stage once the first man was dropped to his death, the crowd both cheering and protesting at the sight. Balian instead looking away in disgust as he and the hospitaler then kept on walking forward.

Balian thought a moment again as the hospitaler’s words in the end roused wonder in him. “So they are dying…” he begun, in realization. “…for what the Pope would command them to do?”

There had been a hint of disbelief in Bailian’s voice, him looking at hospitaler a bit conflicted as the man then removed his cap and raised his hand to stop Balian, to shift his attention back to the execution stage.

“Yes”, hospitaler agreed, peering up at the second Templar waiting for the drop. “But not Christ, I think. Nor this king.”

They watched as the second man was hanged, Balian gasping as he could imagine to hear his neck snap broken. Him then following the hospitaler as he led him through the office building’s corridors to a courtyard, from where they then made their way to the private office of the king’s Marshal. But as they were approaching the entrance to Tiberias’ workspace, walking across another courtyard, Balian could hear a bewildered voice of a man to emanate from the room they were heading. Speaking in a fervent manner.

“Who says I raid?” it questioned, angered, this vehement query soon receiving a matter-of-fact response.

“That witness”, another man said back.

Inside the office the accused Templar looked behind him at a Saracen man, sitting quietly on a chair near the window. Rage instantly distorting the defendant's hard features until his expression was soon mixed with disbelief once his interlocutor then continued.

“…All of Jerusalem. _Holy God_. And _me_ ”, the man sitting behind a desk finished tensely, his voice rising in the middle ominously as he eyed at the accused crusader with severe eyes. The crusader in question turning to level another incredulous look at him in return as pointed at the man sitting in the corner.

“That _witness_ , if you call him that, is a Saracen. He lies!”

“There will come a day, Reynald de Chatillon, when you are not protected by your title”, the man with short, dark, gray tinctured hair remarked as gravely, enraged himself as then stood up from behind his desk. Reynald only appearing amused by his caveat.

“Oh? When will that be?” he questioned, the least threatened, and as he continued his voice was but derisive. “Alert me Tiberias, when men are equal and the kingdom of heaven has arrived.”

“Those Templars have been hung for a raid that _I know_ you commanded!” Tiberias claimed heatedly, snapping his head from the window to Reynald as beckoned to the direction where the execution of the Templars had taken place just a moment ago.

“Prove it”, Reynald challenged, still not fazed by the marshal’s accusations. “I will wait at Kerak until you do.”

“The King will take your castle of Kerak, Reynald“, Tiberias retorted nonchalantly, now walking past his scribe as gazed out of the open doors to the courtyard.

“Try to take it, Tiberias”, Reynald answered as carelessly, now notably more impudent as locked gazes with the man, who only leveled a narrowed look at him. “I’ll be there.”

Tiberias’ dour eyes trailed after Reynald as the said man now turned, the crusader casting a foul leer at the Saracen witness until stormed out of the office. Nearly bumping into Balian, who had overheard the whole conversation, and was glad he hadn’t allowed Sofia come with him…For she would’ve been pointed out immediately by this man due to his clear hate for Saracens. Balian and the hospitaler now finally entering the office themselves, and the hospitaler looked to the man standing by a desk at the door, nodding his greetings.

“My lord Tiberias”, he requested, Balian instead staring at a miniature of the palace that had caught his immediate attention and which stood on a platform before him. Him walking over to it and raising a piece of it, a scale model of a siege tower and evaluated it’s craftmanship, after a brief examination putting it back however just as Tiberias came into the room, arriving to welcome his awaited guests.

“My lord”, the hospitaler greeted.

“It’s true”, Tiberias noted simply, his eyes sizing up Balian as the man took a couple of steps closer to him, in the end smiling. “You’re your father’s son. He was my friend. I’m yours.”

Balian exchanged a serious gaze with this older man, who had a long scar on the right corner of his eye, and who then glanced away somewhat gloomily.

“Godfrey dead”, he stated dolefully, turning around. “It could have come at a better time…Come.”

Balian and the hospitaler followed Tiberias into another room, as he continued talking. “It was shouted in the streets that you killed a great Lord of Syria”, he said, obviously to Balian although his back was turned to the men, still walking forward. “Saladin himself sent word that your fight did not breach the peace, that you had cause. What know you of Saladin?”

Tiberias now looked at Balian questionably as stopped to pour some wine for himself, the hospitaler sitting to a nearby chair as Balian stayed on his feet.

“That he is the king of the Saracens”, Balian answered. “And that he surrounds this kingdom.”

“He has 200 000 men in Damascus alone”, Tiberias informed, looking up to Balian again briefly. “He could win a war if he goes to war. And he’s daily given cause for it by fanatics newly from Europe…by Templar bastards like Reynald de Chatillon.”

Tiberias then went silent, bringing another cup for the hospitaler before took a sip from his own, Balian examining the man pensively.

“Here from this room I keep the peace, so far as it can be kept. But Saladin and the King between them…would make a better world”, Tiberias mused, maybe even a bit longingly. Wistful of such outcome, even the creation of such a reality was mostly only wishful thinking of a certain idealist he at times saw himself as...Especially on this occasion.

“If it lives only for a while, Tiberias, it still has lived”, hospitaler stated reassuringly, exchanging a look with the said man who then let out a snort, hint of a smile on his lips. But the hospitaler wasn’t finished.

“But I believe we are in possession of certain knowledge that could decidedly aid our king and Saladin to get closer to that world.”

Both Balian and Tiberias looked to him quizzically, but Balian was also confused. Him frowning as the hospitaler who only gave him a passing glance, standing up while placed his cup on the table.

“On our way back from France from where we retrieved Balian…” the hopitaler continued, Tiberias’ eyes visiting the young man whose eyes instead shifted to his companion. “…we came upon a small group of human traffickers. They were on their way to Holy Land as well, but obviously not to serve God or country…”

“Not indeed”, Tiberias stated with a new, this time around a spiteful snort, walking behind this grand desk and sat down in turn, resting his chin on his propped up palm. “If it were my job and not God’s, I’d condemn all men trading with slaves into hell!”

The hospitaler and Balian now exchanged a look, Balian having a bad feeling about this conversation…Was the hospitaler about to say what he assumed him to say?

“And? Are you saying these vile excuses of merchants are going to win us this Holy war against Saladin?” Tiberias then questioned, clearly sarcastic, even though his delivery had been far from cheery as he drank the rest of his wine. The hospitaler smiling before shook his head.

“No, my lord, we killed those men before they could do any trading.”

“Good! One concern less in this already rotten place called world!” Tiberias noted, cutting in, but then nodded for the hospitaler to continue.

“These traders had a prisoner with them. A young woman who they were to sell here in Jerusalem to a high standard nobleman”, he related. But once again was cut off by the marshal.

“To who, I only wonder? If not to that equally sorry excuse of a future king, I’d be surprised!” he breathed angrily and stood back up, quickly crossing the room to go refill his chalice, shaking his head. “I feel sorry for the princess to have been married to such a lout.”

Balian hid his smile of amusement as he agreed. Guy would certainly be the kind of man to purchase a mistress with high price if the said woman was special enough. But Balian absolutely detested the thought the moment it popped up…That Sofia could’ve gotten into the hands of someone like Guy. Such a notion disgusting him.

Hospitaler raised his eyebrows due to the marshal’s second interruption and once more Tiberias nodded, apologetically, before waved his hand for the man to continue. Closing his eyes.

“Forgive me. Go on”, he said, returning to his seat. The hospitaler nodding in turn.

“As I was saying, they had a woman with them. We killed her captors and rescued her, only to notice she was not any average woman, my lord.”

“Really? Then, our dear prince seems to have made a favorable transaction in return of the king’s money!” Tiberias scoffed, cutting in yet again.

“My lord”, the hospitaler stated, Tiberias sighing at the stress in his words.

“Yes, yes, forgive me. But every time I think of that despicable Frenchman my blood boils”, he remarked, once more beckoning for his guest to speak. “I’ll gladly stop thinking about Guy de Lusignan…Please, continue my friend.”

“Do you remember the royal kidnapping from ten years back, my lord?” the hospitaler asked then, changing his approach, and Balian now gasped. His gaze riveting to him, where Tiberias seemed thoughtful of the hospitaler’s question and how it tied to the matter at hand, until nodded slowly.

“Yes, another time in my life I’d rather not think about…” he affirmed. “The youngest of Saladin’s daughters was abducted, was it not so? Yes I remember that accursed day when my work as a peacekeeper became close to ready for scrapheap...That incident nearly tore this kingdom apart, and it was almost impossible to stop the war from breaking out as all the rumors claimed it was crusaders who had taken her from Saladin’s palace!”

Tiberias sighed deeply at the past memory, until then cast a questionable look at the hospitaler. Despite of his wonder still intrigued by the shift in the conversation. “And what does a long since lost princess of the Muslims have to do with our ambition of creating the kingdom of heaven?”

“Do you remember anything specific about the abducted princess, my lord?” the hospitaler asked in turn, Tiberias raising his brows after scrunching them up in thought.

“I do, although you seem to enlighten me after all”, he stated, the hospitaler smiling.

“As well as the other members of the royal family, princess Adilah bore a signifying tattoo on her skin to indicate her regal status”, the hospitaler said, Tiberias nodding.

“The Star of Jerusalem”, he recalled.

The hospitaler kept a break, taking a step closer to the table. Balian tensing all the time more, and he then gave his companion a much more stern glance at the sound of his following words. “The woman we rescued from those traffickers was not ordinary. She was dressed into the finest silk and was riding a horse of the finest breed, also a signal of her high status…This woman was a Saracen, my lord. ”

Tiberias raised his eyebrows once more at this revelation. “Indeed not very ordinary woman to come upon at French soil”, he agreed. “To happen upon a Saracen so far away from Holy Land…It is truly strange. But what of this woman my friend?”

Balian now put a deterring hand on the hospitaler’s shoulder before he could speak, frowning at him. “You cannot expose her to him”, he said quietly, meeting the hospitaler’s eyes. “She said no one was to know of her return. We swore to her not to reveal her identity.”

“Balian, I do know this”, the hospitaler answered reassuringly. “And I would not wish to break my promise made to Sofia, but Tiberias is a man worthy of our trust…Your father trusted him, and so do I. There is no one wiser to impart of this matter, and Sofia is essential to be taken into discussion.”

Balian had a realization. “It was she you were talking of…Sofia is that knowledge you proposed us to use to end this war.”

The hospitaler’s mien didn’t reveal his thoughts as he returned Balian’s stare, but he then turned to look at Tiberias who was measuring them both curiously.

“My lord, we all know that the lost princess bore the Star of Jerusalem on her lips”, he continued, Balian flinching and his frown only deepened as the man paid no heed to his forestalling words. “And I believe we have found her.”

Balian now faced Tiberias, seeing him stiffen after a moment of ponder and he gazed at the hospitaler in dismay, truly speechless. Just staring at him for a moment until finally blinked out of his stunned reverie.

“Princess Adilah? You are saying to have found the lost daughter of Saladin?” he queried skeptically, putting the pieces together. “You are saying…?”

“That that woman we rescued, my lord, is the lost princess of the Muslims”, the hospitaler specified, smiling with a nod. Tiberias’ eyes widening and once more he soon set his jaw on his knuckles, gazing down. Balian only feeling uneasy.

Why had the hospitaler told the marshal about Sofia? Her identity was to remain hidden or it would become dangerous for her…She’d said so herself, so Balian couldn’t understand why would the hospitaler reveal her to this man, was there trust between them or not.

“And you are saying this woman, this courtesan, bears the mark of Saladin on her?” Tiberias inquired after awhile, his gaze which now was but contemplative rising in realization of his own. “That she is here now? In Holy Land?”

“Yes. Balian brought her with him over the sea”, the hospitaler confirmed, Balian stiffening himself as Tiberias’ gaze then fixated to him, to gauge at him. Balian eventually making a rigid nod.

“Sofia serves me. She served my father and now she has pledged her loyalty to me”, he specified, glancing at the men until with a sigh said the word that usually caused him such difficulty. “She is my servant.”

“Servant?” Tiberias repeated questionably, mulling over the young man’s account. “Sofia…?”

But then Tiberias suddenly stood, looking at both of the men seriously. “Then why isn’t she here with you right now?” he demanded, shaking his head. “Send someone to fetch her at once! I desire to see the lost princess with my own eyes!”

“My lord, Sofia wishes not to…” Balian now finally spoke up, taking a step forward, but was interrupted by Tiberias.

“For God’s sake, I do not intend to behead her by bringing her here!” he said loudly, in a rather indignant manner, but did then level a reassuring look at the troubled son of Godfrey. “I simply wish to meet princess Adilah myself. If it truly is her…”

Balian hesitated, glancing at the hospitaler who only nodded encouragingly. Tiberias then calling for one of his guards and looked at Balian, who still took a moment more to comply until sighed, ordering the arrived soldier to send someone to fetch Sofia from his residence and bring her to Tiberias’ office…Even though Balian wouldn’t have had her brought there at all.

It took about half an hour for Sofia to arrive. Once Tiberias’ secretary informed his lord of the comers, the men now all looking to the door as Sofia stepped inside the room with her escort of four guards. Her glancing around a bit until walked further in at the sight of her lord and the hospitaler, bowing, about to cover her loose hair with her scarf. But Tiberias stood and raised his hand to stop her.

“It is alright my dear girl, that isn’t necessary”, he said, staring at the arrived young woman intently as Sofia instead looked at him in surprise. Soon however nodding and she went over to Balian, bowing again.

“You sent for me, my lord?” she asked, straightening and now looked at Balian who was speechless, only returning her stare tensely.

“It was indeed your lord who called you, but it was me who wished to meet you…your highness princess Adilah”, Tiberias’ clarified. Balian and the two other men noticing the way Sofia froze due to the mention of her given name and from her reaction Tiberias got his confirmation, which was even further verified once this young woman then turned to face him in confusion. When Tiberias saw her face and eyes, oh yes…he knew it was true.

“So it is true…” Tiberias noted, narrowing his eyes until soon started to smile. “Blue. Just as I remembered.”

Sofia just stared at this man she now realized in shock to also recognize. This man…she had met him too, remembered him vaguely, and it seemed he knew who she was…But it was impossible.

“I… I do not know what you are talking about, my lord. I am just a mere servant and have come due to my lord’s request”, Sofia said and bowed for the third time, toning down her expression to mere deadpan, averting her eyes to Balian. And he saw suspicion in them, which instantly filled him with penance. After all Sofia placing her scarf around her head, which seemed to amuse Tiberias.

“Yes, that same proud presence, those features…Come my girl, let me see your tattoo”, Tiberias urged then, ignoring her remark. Sofia jolting inwardly but didn’t let her bewilderment show, meeting this crusader’s gaze indifferently.

“Tattoo?” she asked, Tiberias nodding.

“Yes. The Star of Jerusalem”, he specified. Sofia cringing only slightly so that the men did not notice, saying nothing.

“It is alright Sofia, you can show him”, Balian assured, although he wasn’t completely sure either. Sofia letting out a breath and turned, giving him now a bit more poignant look.

“Is this why you summoned me here, my lord?” she asked, now much more earnest. And even her voice wasn’t accusatory it seemed like it to Balian who only frowned. When he after all didn’t answer Sofia then sighed again, spotting a bowl of water at a nearby side table and walked over to it. Dipping the edge of her robe into the water before next wiped away the reddish color from her lips, revealing her tattoo. Lastly facing the marshal and Tiberias’ eyes widened, but so did his smile, Sofia returning his stare stoically. Going back to stand by the writing desk.

“As you seem to know who I am there is no reason for me to even try to deny it, as it appears my lord has informed you of my true identity”, Sofia said calmly, Balian twitching and glanced at her in regret. Sofia to have apparently misunderstood him judging by her following words as she then angled her jaw, not looking like a servant anymore while measured Tiberias.

“I am Adilah, daughter of Saladin. And I suggest if you are to arrest me, do it now. But I tell you that even if you would desire to use me to your advantage in this war by making me a hostage, it will be for naught. I will not bring you an upperhand in this battle which is already so unfavorable to you, as my father will not give up anything in exchange of me. I am nothing to him. He will not surrender nor pull back his forces even an inch further from your borders because of me, once lost daughter, who is better dead than to be brought back to the royal family!”

The whole room silenced due to Sofia’s suddenly so ardent voice and Balian was eyeing at her in true remorse, for he hadn’t planned this to happen. But Sofia seemed to think so as then just sighed yet again, closing her eyes resigned.

“I advice that you rather kill me than imprison me”, she soon said seriously. “For as I said, I will be of no use to you.”

“In that, my dear girl, you are wrong. You will be of use to us in this war”, Tiberias argued, Sofia casting her equally somber eyes back to him. But the marshal then baffled her by simply smiling, nodding.

“Come, sit”, he exhorted, beckoning towards the unoccupied chair at the other end of the table. Sofia’s eyes flickering down to it but she didn’t move.

“I’d rather not”, she answered, Tiberias sighing in turn.

“Yes, as stubborn as her grandmother…” he mumbled to himself, causing Balian to frown in confusion until Tiberias then eyed at Sofia kindly. “No one here is to imprison you or kill you, my lady, and if so then whoever will dare to try shall hang! And I am sure your lord would not allow me do such things to you …”

Tiberias looked to Balian quizzically who met his gaze briefly, until he felt Sofia’s eyes to gauge at him once she leveled a more addled look at him from the corner of her eye. The hospitaler smiling, where Balian then nodded.

“I wouldn’t”, Balian agreed. “I promised to protect you.”

“See?” Tiberias asked, then nodding towards the chair again. “Now let us calm down and let me have a closer look at you. Come!”

Sofia peered at Balian and the hospitaler hesitantly until as bravely walked forth, slowly sitting on the offered chair for the marshal’s satisfaction. Tiberias smiling before he then gestured at her scarf.

“Now when the drama is over, would you remove that?” he requested. Sofia’s eyes narrowing a little but she did pull down the scarf as slowly, once again revealing her dark locks, the scarf eventually slipping to her lap. But Sofia’s countenance was still but earnest and she remained silent, Tiberias nodding, notably pleased.

“Good! Now, let us see…” he said, leaning a little forward as begun to search Sofia’s now completely visible features. Her finding this man’s interest quite odd, but neither let it show and just sat still. Staring back at the man, and during her own examination noted he had gotten much older, as people tended to age and eventually die. This man, Tiberias, if she remembered correctly hearing her father’s advisors call him that, having more wrinkles around his eyes…Signs of a restless and stress infused life, his hair and beard having a distinct grey hue to them.

The befallen silence continued unbothered for several minutes as Tiberias just eyed at Sofia, not saying anything either. Balian to have started to turn anxious and he glanced between Sofia and Tiberias more and more often, wondering what the king’s marshal would do now when he had learnt the truth about Sofia…despite of promising not to hurt her.

“Calm yourself, Balian, I am not to harm your servant”, Tiberias said then suddenly, speaking for the first time and took both Sofia and Balian aback. Tiberias to have noticed the worried looks the young man had been leveling at the woman and him, the marshal now straightening.

“Yes. Now I see…You look just like her”, he remarked mysteriously, picking up the previous discussion and leant back in his chair. Sofia’s expression softening a bit as her features were once more taken over by bafflement, Tiberias nodding and this time smirking.

“I mean you look very much like your grandmother. You have none of your mother in you, that I am sure, as there is no doubt you to be just like your grandmother by both looks and voice…As graceful and composed you are, Adilah”, he noted. Balian blinking and he gave Sofia a wondering look, who instead was now staring at Tiberias only stunned. Her opening her mouth to speak.

“My…grandmother?” she questioned, Tiberias nodding once more.

“Yes. Queen Zayna, mother of your father”, he specified, causing Sofia to blink in disbelief.

“You have met my grandmother?” she stated, now slightly bemused.

“Oh yes, many times. A wise woman she is. And I think Saladin should listen to her more when it comes to matters such as politics and business of the state!” Tiberias confirmed, now looking slightly amused. “She has spoken a lot about you to me. Her favorite grandchild she so grieved to have lost…And no wonder she favored you out of all the children, as one only looks at you now and sees you are a spitting image of your grandmother when she was young! Ten years do miracles to some and you are as beautiful as she was…And your eyes…despite of being blue they still hold the same wisdom that can be found in hers. But it’s not only from that that I recognized you even before you showed me your tattoo…”

Tiberias kept a break, eyeing at Sofia, who now cast her eyes down thoughtfully. Where Balian was again but puzzled.

“Do you remember me, my lady?” Tiberias asked, more serious, Sofia narrowing her eyes in deep ponder until spoke.

“I do”, she admitted, shocking Balian even more. Sofia also knew Tiberias? How?

“You know Sofia?” he did then question out loud, Sofia looking at him briefly until turned her eyes back to the marshal she had at first found a threat, but who she now started to feel to be able to trust. Tiberias nodding affirmatively, but didn’t shift his gaze away from Sofia.

“I have met her once or twice”, he revealed. “Long time ago. And I indeed remember those eyes, which can offer a glimpse to everything that is in her soul if you only know what to look…But it wasn’t this young woman into whose such kind of eyes I gazed into, but it was a girl much, much younger. Am I right?”

Balian and the hospitaler now turned to look at Sofia who sighed, eventually nodding a faint smile then covering her lips.

“ **Yes** ”, she answered, Tiberias responding to her smile. “I do remember you. But I was indeed only a small child when I recall seeing you last at my father’s palace.”

“Six if I remember correctly?” Tiberias suggested, Sofia nodding. “Fourteen years have passed since then…And I trust I must look like an old man now, compared to that much younger crusader whom you undoubtedly remember to have come to the palace to negotiate peace, my lady.”

In Tiberias’ voice had been amusement as he now gazed at Sofia. But she then smiled back, shaking her head.

“Not old. But tired”, she responded, as well slightly amused. Tiberias letting out a laugh as the hospitaler broke into a smile of his own. “And if my memory serves, I do not recall to have seen that scar until now.”

“Makes me more courageous, doesn’t it?” Tiberias questioned sarcastically until then glanced at the hospitaler and Balian, still appearing only amused. “I like her!” he stated, tapping the table once with his hand as leant back in his chair. “Noble and tall when it comes to showing no quarter to her enemies, but kind with her words while stating out the truth was it good or bad…I’d reckon your father would be proud to have a daughter like you.”

Sofia’s gaze now dropped as her smile disappeared. “What’ll become of me now, my lord?” she asked, this time looking at Tiberias earnestly. “If I am not to be killed or used as a negotiation piece against my father, then what it is you summoned me here for?”

“My dear, you are too serious!” Tiberias stated, now solely gazing at the two men at the background. “Your lord has summoned you here to only answer to this question…Would you help us to achieve the long time ambition of our king, which is bringing an end to this generations old feud of our peoples by achieving eternal peace in the Holy city of Jerusalem?”

Sofia was dumbfounded, as was Balian, him looking at Tiberias in dismay. That was why he had wanted to see Sofia? Balian now turning his attention to the hospitaler, and from the man’s expectant expression he figured this to be exactly what the man had been after all along…That knowledge they indeed possessed to realise the world both Saladin and their king were trying to create not being any subversive piece of information to coerce the opposing side to a truce or some critical advantage to bring victory against their enemy…but Sofia.

Sofia shook her head in disbelief. “What could I do?” she questioned. “I do not understand what is it you are asking of me, as I cannot even offer you the means of making me a valuable hostage.”

“Ah yes, we cannot use you as a hostage even if we’d come to consider it, or even if some less enlightened individual would still probably wish to act so if the revelation of your true name would leave this room”, Tiberias replied, standing from his chair. “But it won’t. I also understand that if it would become known that the daughter of Saladin has been seen within the walls of Jerusalem, you would not be spared I fear…”

Sofia locked somber gazes with Tiberias’, understanding and agreeing to what he said perfectly.

“But what could she do?” Balian spoke up, truly curious.

“No matter what the aspect, Sofia is a child of her father”, the hospitaler interjected after a long time of silence, all eyes turning to him. “And if we were to inform that we have recovered the lost princess of our enemy, I am sure peace negotiations could be changed dramatically.”

“Yes, if we, the opposing side of this affray, who once were accused of the abduction and murder of the princess would send word to Saladin and proclaim to have found his daughter and deliver her back to her family, Saladin would surely assess the situation anew…And as a form of gratitude even possibly agree to further discussions to reach truce in this useless war, which needless prolonging gains to neither a side anything but death and hefty taxes!” Tiberias breathed, turning grim but also pensive at the same time, finally even excited. Balian, who had gone by the table watching Sofia’s gaze to drop now somewhat gloomily, her squeezing the desk’s edge as she took in a breath. Flicker of actual fear in her irises.

“In other words your goal is to attain this eternal peace through me, not by forcing my father to give up the siege of the kingdom, but by offering me to him as a sign of good will and have him express similar kind of benevolence to you in return?” she questioned nonchalantly. Balian however picking up a nervous undertone from her voice even it was mostly masked behind her deceiving calmness, her eyes showing none of this, but he still was able to tell her overall mood from her stiff shoulders.

“Well yes, to put it bluntly”, Tiberias agreed, stopping his pacing.

“If you would speak to your father on our behalf and present him with our desire for peace, of our king’s, as someone who has come to witness it first hand upon staying within these walls and who has spoken to Tiberias, who is responsible of preserving the peace in the name of our king, Sofia, I am sure more would be gained than lost”, the hospitaler said, next walking over to the dithering young woman and took her right hand into his, squeezing it. “I am aware it is much to be asked from a mere girl such as yourself who hasn’t spent a day delved in politics, or rather gotten to lead the life you were born to in years, but Godfrey looked to this opportunity as well while he still lived. That is why he asked his son to take care of you, to protect you. You are our opportunity to reach counsel with Saladin’s advisors and end this war by once more making Jerusalem the spiritual sanctuary it once was to all faiths...Not for just our own, or theirs.”

Sofia sighed while cast her eyes down, not speaking. Although there was nothing on her mien to tip off her current sentiments, Balian being able to tell her mind was heavy with conflicted thoughts, verging confusion…and fear. Yes, Sofia was scared. But then finally she raised her head, so quickly it actually caused Balian to gasp and she stood up.

“Does not your king know of me yet?” she questioned, Tiberias concurring with a nod.

“No. I was told of you only today myself.”

Sofia then thought a moment more, until her firm gaze rose to the marshal. “No”, she said, her voice now definite but soft, polite. “Forgive me, but my answer is no. I cannot agree to this.”

The men now followed as she turned, walking over to the door and stopped at the doorstep to gaze outside.

“But why?” Tiberias enquired, now rounding his desk and came to Sofia. “Do you not wish for all this useless bloodshed and warmongering to come to an end? To stop this city both our people and yours are fighting to possess to be further depraved and turned unholy by the innocent blood spilled for the sake of it?”

“I do wish this war to end, as we are all equal in the eyes of God whether you are Christian or Muslim!” Sofia answered, leveling a stern look at Tiberias as whipped her head to his direction. “I am both. I love both Allah and your Heavenly father to equal measure, while at a loss looking to both of them for guidance! But even for God or my people to be salvaged from further desecration, the sacrifice I would have to make would be too great…”

Sofia once again walked away from the man. The others as well as Tiberias following her with their gazes as she crossed the room, Sofia turning then but sad as folded her arms loosely around herself.

“What is that sacrifice?” Tiberias asked, Sofia sighing deeply.

“My life”, she stated, surprising the men. Balian frowning.

“What do you mean?” he queried in turn, causing Sofia to cringe. But she didn’t turn at first, just leant on the chair’s backrest she had grabbed in frustration.

“Just trust me when I say that you have to coerce me to assist you”, Sofia soon replied, serious again, facing the men. “Because as said, my father would listen to me only if it were the words of plead to spear me. I once was a princess of the Muslims, but now I am just Sofia, a servant to the baron of Ibelin and wish to be nothing more. My family would turn their backs to me if I were to be ever presented before them, so I only wish to serve my lord, as it was his father who gave me this life I would’ve otherwise been robbed of. A true life to live, were it to only serve his son or not. But still I cherish it more than anything after the years spent in shackles.”

Sofia kept a break. “I ask you to understand this…If I were to return and try to bring upon this peace for you and for all men of faith this city is dear to…then by doing so I would make myself a Martyr.”

The men stared at Sofia in awe. Her to have never spoken so much at once, and so solemnly that it caused Balian and the hospitaler to turn somewhat bewildered as they witnessed how emotional Sofia had now become. Only momentarily however, as she soon sighed once more and closed her eyes, facing away from them to stare straight in front of her, earnest expression taking over her features.

“That is all I have to say”, she added, not speaking of the matter anymore.

Tiberias was as well surprised by this young woman’s such resolute denial, but then he remembered what the hospitaler had told him before her arrival…That she’d been rescued from the clutches of human traffickers and been close to sold to an esteemed lord here in Jerusalem, pity grasping his heart briefly as he then gazed at Sofia, eventually understanding the allusion of her previous words. The marshal sighing himself, nodding.

“Very well”, he said, resigned. “I understand. Of course I will not force you, as I am a man of peace. I will not present you with a choice between death in the hands of your people or a sword of our executioners…”

Sofia turned around at the sound of his consenting reply, smiling gratefully, bowing. “Thank you my lord.”

Tiberias now looked at Balian. “You should be pleased. You have such a loyal woman to serve you, who _chooses_ to live her life under your servitude, despite of her far more noble origin.”

Sofia dropped her eyes a bit jaded due to the mention of her bloodline, which she would’ve rather not be reminded of, for it was already part of the past. Her sighing yet again, but Balian only nodded with a smile.

“I am”, he admitted, Sofia exchanging a glance with him. Tiberias then continuing, finally changing the subject.

“What did your father tell you of your…obligations besides taking care of _Sofia?”_ he inquired, uttering Sofia’s name in slight amusement. Leaning to his chair as this time looked at Balian but seriously, the conversation reverting back to its original course.

“That I was to be a good knight”, Balian answered matter-of-factly. Tiberias raising his brows in slight surprise...and doubt.

“I pray the world and _Jerusalem_ can accommodate such a rarity…as a perfect knight”, he mused, gazing at Balian remarkably. Also the hospitaler then glancing at Balian who only cast his gaze to the floor.

“There is no such thing as a perfect knight”, Sofia’s voice then cut in and she once more earned the men’s attention, her smiling at them. “There is only a perfect man, and that in itself is impossible to achieve, no matter how good of a man one would come to be.”

“Quite right!” Tiberias stated, hoisting his goblet and looked at Sofia with a concurring smile, who bowed her head to him until locked gazes with Balian who had stopped to stare at her. Them gazing at each other for a few of seconds until Tiberias spoke up again, quizzical.

“Have you dined?” he questioned, looking to his guests whilst taking another sip of wine, the hospitaler shaking his head.

“No, but it was Sofia’s task to prepare a meal for her lord upon his return”, he said, Tiberias glancing at the young woman who nodded. Sofia then fully facing Balian.

“Then if you are staying here, my lord, shall I return and order to cancel the dinner?” she queried, but before Balian could answer Tiberias spoke for him.

“No, no, you all shall stay and dine here tonight!” he said, finishing his wine, as Sofia cast him a look of disbelief once he nodded to her. “That includes you, Sofia.”

“No, I should not…” she begun, but Tiberias did not listen and simply brushed her demur off with a new amused smile.

“You would leave your lord alone here?” he asked, going over to Sofia. “And you are a princess, royalty! Of course we should include you to tonight’s dining party of equally distinguished individuals!”

Sofia gazed at the older man in confusion, naturally picking up his sarcasm, but when she nevertheless glanced at Balian hesitantly she saw him nod.

“You should stay, Sofia”, he agreed. Sofia about to protest once more but then only snorted lightly, raising her brows at Tiberias until smiled at him politely. Bowing to Balian.

“As you wish, my lord. I shall stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Name translations: Zayna (beauty)


	8. Sibylla and the King

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phrases written in bold; Arabic  
> Phrases written in italics; thoughts, memories, quotes

Tiberias led Balian, the hospitaler and Sofia to the palace, taking them to a courtyard where a dining table had been already assembled, and where many highly esteemed guests sat waiting for the dinner to begin. Instantly after arriving Balian finding himself seated on the right side of the long table next to Tiberias along with a few fellow barons and other dignitaries. Sofia instead not obviously claiming a seat for herself but simply trailed after her lord as her intention of stationing herself behind Balian's chair like a good servant would, ready to serve. But before she had gotten farther than approaching her lord's seat Tiberias had come to her, looking mischievous.

“I’ll arrange you a chair your highness”, he whispered, about to wave at one of the servants. Sofia however narrowing her eyes at him, imperceptibly grasping his arm to hinder him.

“ _No_ , my lord. I came as a servant of _my_ lord only, so wouldn’t it be rather suspicious of a mere servant to be dining with lords as eminent as mine? Furthermore a Saracen servant?” she answered seriously, but there had been a slight tint of amusement in her voice as well. Which caused Tiberias then to smile as he naturally got her point, nodding, giving in with his tease.

“I guess you are right. Although I cannot but imagine with utmost delight what kind of an impact such a guest would leave on these _fine_ lords…”

Sofia smiled at him in secret, bowing, and then as Tiberias seated himself with the rest of the diners she went directly to Balian, who still stood however. Sofia bowing to him in turn until took his sword, which he hadn't dared to leave behind even the men had removed their uniforms to look more formal for dinner, which also would be attended by princess Sibylla and her husband. Another reason to look more presentable, but now finally resigning Balian handed his weapon to the young woman.

“Thank you, Sofia”, he said, Sofia nodding and stepping away as Balian pulled out his chair to sit, soon starting to converse with Tiberias. Until not much later all discourse ceased when the guests of honor were announced to have arrived.

“The princess Sibylla of Jerusalem and her husband, Guy de Lusignan!” one of the officers proclaimed, all of the diners turning their heads to follow how the elder sister of the King was walked to the courtyard by the said man, Guy. Everyone standing in respect, Balian leveling a surprised look at the arrived woman whom he then realized to have met just this morning at his mansion…And who at that moment turned out to be nothing less than a princess. Didn’t that occur to him often lately…

Sofia had also turned to look at the royal couple in reverence, but cringed as her eyes drifted to that disgusting man she now also fathomed to have met at the Pilgrim camp. Her true master, married to the princess of the Holy Kingdom. Sofia's gaze dropping immediately as she bowed along with the others while Sibylla was brought to the head of the table, one of the servants pulling out a chair for her. The princess acknowledging all of the present men with a smile or a nod until took a seat with Guy, the guests following suite.

After sitting Sibylla’s gaze found Balian without a delay, who instead was still gazing at her thoughtfully, in wonder. Sofia giving her lord’s profile a furtive glance and smiled for amusement, although unnoticed. Being able to sense the princess’ interest even from so far away, as well as capable of observing Sibylla from the corner of her eye. But as the dinner then commenced Tiberias addressed Guy, in fact almost accosting him.

“So, how many knights did you find in France?” he inquired, looking at Guy, who instead of returning his gaze was pouring wine for himself.

“50”, he answered quite indifferently.

“They’ve sworn allegiance to the king?” Tiberias questioned, Sofia noticing his tone to be a tad doubtful as she listened, not letting her gaze falter and only stared forward. Standing silent.

“Of course, Tiberias. Obviously”, Guy replied now rather jadedly, taking a sip of his drink. But as he was about to lower the goblet, his eyes happened to focus on Balian who was sitting as well silently, concentrating on eating. Guy's lips curving up to a smile, but clear irritation radiated from him due to the sight of the young man.

“You sit at my table?” he questioned now in turn, staring at Balian. Sofia being able to hear his irritation and evident distaste from his voice, where Balian simply looked up to him impassively.

“Is it not the King’s table?” he queried, ignoring Guy’s hostility. Sofia directing another glance down at her lord as this time smiled inwardly.

“Is it? I have not seen a king at it for some years”, Guy stated, looking around dismissively, where his wife cast him a tense look before her gaze flickered to Balian curtly.

“I cannot eat…” Guy continued, irreverent expression soon appearing on his mien as he also continued to stare at Balian, remarkably, in clear vexation. “I…I am finicky about company. In France _this_ could not inherit. But _here_ , there are no civilized rules…”

Sofia hadn’t given a single direct look at Guy but instead had just stood behind Balian quietly. Trying not to be noticed by becoming as invisible as any other servant in the eyes of nobility. But Guy’s gaze did then spot her at the background and he seemed rather surprised, then taking notice of Balian’s sword in Sofia’s hands while examined her. Guy staring at this young woman for a while, at her eyes, thinking that they looked familiar. But then as he noted for his anger that she was but a Saracen servant, he soon enough eyed at Sofia but coldly.

“As a proof of my words, just look at the woman behind you whom you seem to keep as your pet. It's a disgrace to bring such worthless trash to _the king’s_ table”, Guy remarked poisonously, now many pairs of eyes turning to look at Sofia. Guy's comment angering Balian but he stayed composed.

Sofia instead didn't move or look at anyone, just stood silent staring at the pillar in front of her, although Guy’s words and gauging stare made her uncomfortable within. Now as well Sibylla noticing that same young woman she'd seen this morning with Balian and looked curious, but felt pity for the girl after witnessing the plain scorn her husband expressed to this female servant. But Sibylla's lips were tugged by a smile as she saw the way this woman didn't show any indication to have been insulted by Guy’s hateful manner of speaking, just staying put like a fateful servant would.

Guy cast one more dirty look at Sofia, where Tiberias was staring at him in suppressed anger as well, now standing from his seat in unison with Guy.

“I have business in the East”, Guy announced, eyeing at the people around the table smugly, until stepped away from it. One of the servants trying to straighten his cloak, but he only jerked his arm backwards to signal him to vanish. Guy next walking behind Sibylla, who looked down discreetly when he started to speak again.

“My wife does not lament my absences”, he said, eyeing at Sibylla’s profile, clear poignant edge to his voice then as kept on talking. Smoothing the back of her neck. “That is either the best of wives….or the very, very worst.”

Sibylla's head rose at the sound of his snide comment, no doubt her using all her self-restraint not to show her dismay, as Guy then stepped away, about to leave. Sofia feeling compassion towards the princess in turn.

“Do you go to meet Reynald?” Tiberias asked, his question irritating Guy.

“No my lord, he is in disfavor!” he reminded, facing the marshal in outrage. “I am a member of this court. Why should I make league with that…troublemaker?”

There had been something in Guy’s voice that spoke of dishonesty, Sofia's eyes moving from the wall for the first time to finally look at him, narrowing only slightly. This man was lying. She knew it, could read it from his proud, duplicitous demeanor. But as discreet as it was Guy noticed her sudden gaze and looked at her sharply, until again was left to examine this Saracen who appeared to be quite fair when one looked closer. Especially those eyes…

Guy drank his goblet empty and threw it for one of the servants to catch, then leaving without any word more, Sofia’s eyes following him. She despised that man. He really was vile and dishonorable. And she hated the thought that she could’ve ended up being one of his mistresses. Sofia feeling a shudder of disgust to shake her body but remained serene, now shifting her attention back to the pillar.

Uncomfortable silence had befallen around the table, Sibylla looking at Tiberias in outrage of her own who then nodded a hint of smile covering his lips, raising his goblet for a toast.

“To the very _best_ of wives!” he announced, meeting the princess’s gaze, who instantly smiled thankfully before raised her own goblet.

“ **God bless Jerusalem!”** Sibylla said in Arabic, joining the toast, the guests following their example as her gaze rounded the table. Sofia smiling due to Tiberias’ kindness, her however not noticing how Sibylla's irises were next fixated on her again, the princess not being able to prevent the sensation of recognition taking over her. Sibylla examining Sofia for a brief moment more before she surprised everyone who noticed, especially Balian, by waving at the Saracen woman.

“ **Come here, daughter of Allah** ”, she called out to Sofia, speaking in Arabic again, Sofia turning her as astonished eyes to the princess who was smiling at her over the table kindly. Balian stopping his eating as in turn glanced up to Sofia, then also looking at the princess in equal confusion. Sibylla beckoning to her again and after directing a brief look down Sofia nodded in consent, starting to walk towards the head of the table.

Sofia stopped next to the princess’ chair smiling, making a deep curtsey.

 **“Yes your highness?”** she asked. Sibylla eyeing at her contemplatively, smiling herself.

“ **What is your name?”** she inquired.

“ **Sofia, your ladyship** ”, Sofia answered with a bow of her head. Sibylla appearing even more pensive.

“ **Have we met before, Sofia?”** she continued with a question. Sofia turning momentarily frightened when she reckoned the princess to have recognized her after all, even Sofia had once more covered her tattoo before leaving Tiberias’ office. But she hid her fear and smiled again, bowing slightly for the third time.

 **“I do not believe so, your majesty”,** Sofia responded humbly. **“I have just returned to the lands of my childhood with my lord after years of absence. No, we have not met, my lady.”**

Sibylla said then nothing but continued to eye at Sofia curiously. Until then a servant came over to Tiberias, whispering something to him. The marshal soon turning to Sibylla.

“The king would see Godfrey’s son”, he informed, giving her an apologetic look as was about to excuse himself, but Sibylla smiled and stopped him. Placing a hand on his.

“I’ll take him”, she promised, rising, glancing at Balian remarkably who stood as well. Sofia bowing her head for the final time and stepped away, about to turn and go wait for her lord at the same place as before…But Sibylla stopped her too.

“You come as well, Sofia. You should not leave your lord and stay”, she urged, looking back at Sofia, who blinked for surprise and turned to gaze at Balian, who nodded in concur. Him agreeing it to be best to take Sofia with him, as should she stay alone in this castle without protection anything could happen to her due to the Saracen blood running through her veins, which was evident to anyone who looked at her…For she didn't have many prominent English features in her to speak otherwise.

Sofia simply nodded in response and started to follow her lord and Sibylla, as without a word more the princess next led them away from the courtyard, through the palace and towards the private quarters of the king. Them walking along many corridors, silent, passing guards placed at several entrances of the grand chambers they came across. Until finally as they walked through another door-opening Balian eventually broke the silence.

“This morning I spoke without knowing who you were”, he said, apologetic tone to his voice as he looked at Sibylla, who stopped momentarily due to the sound of it. Until she soon only smiled.

“I knew who you were”, she revealed, continuing her slow walk along the dimly lit corridor. “It’s unmistakable. I loved your father…and I shall love you.”

Sibylla looked at Balian briefly, her smile widening, and Sofia detected surprise in her lord’s form due to the curt stiffening of his shoulders. Her being able to picture his expression and she smiled in amusement behind his back, until Sibylla then examined Balian more seriously.

“Do you fear being with me?” she inquired suddenly, Balian thinking a moment until met her gaze.

“No”, was his sure reply, which made Sibylla stop again as she looked at him now a bit surprised herself. Balian nevertheless then tilting his head.

“…and yes”, he added. Sibylla laughing a little at that as Sofia gave Balian another amused look.

“A woman in my place has two faces; one for the world, and one she wears in private”, Sibylla informed him, Sofia glancing down momentarily as the princess' words turned her rather thoughtful. Balian stealing a glance at her, knowing the reason for her such pensiveness as Sibylla then continued with but sincere voice, her expression as honest.

“With you I’ll be only Sibylla”, she stated, looking into Balian’s eyes, until a sudden creak of the floor coming from the corridor behind Sofia woke their attention. Sibylla and Balian spotting a man stand at the entrance, eyeing at them in respect but with caution, before stepped back behind the wall.

Sibylla seemed amused by this as she faced Balian. “Tiberias thinks me unpredictable”, she whispered, glancing at Sofia, before turned her gaze back to Balian. Thinking a moment.

“I _am_ , unpredictable”, she did then admit, her smile widening again enticingly as a sign of concur, until she next walked to a door right behind her. Sofia intending to continue forward after giving Sibylla one more small curtsey, where Balian was about to follow the princess to her own quarters. Sofia gasping and she glanced back towards the doorway where the man Tiberias had sent to observe the princess still lingered.

“My lord…” Sofia called but too late, and it was Sibylla who stopped him.

“No”, she said, raising her palm to stop Balian in his tracks until next pointed to the end of the corridor. “Listen to your servant. It’s through there.”

Balian turned to gaze at the second set of doors looming at the end of the corridor, Sibylla eyeing at him a moment more until entered her quarters, giving Sofia a slight smile once she bent into another curtsey. Balian then passing her after Sibylla had left them to fend the rest of the way on their own.

“Sofia”, Balian’s voice called and she straightened, bettering her hold of his sword as followed, joining her lord who'd stopped to wait for her a few paces away. And together they next passed through the door, Balian opening it for Sofia, before they soon arrived to an outer corridor, the arches between the pillars showing the view of the incipient night falling over the city.

Once back outside they passed a man cloth in black, a torch in his hand as he prepared to light the beacons around the palace before the darkness would fall. Them continuing their walk to the end of that particular corridor across the smoke of burning incenses, until they came upon a new door that opened to a small alcove. Inside another set of much heavier doors rising before heir eyes, guards standing at the entrance, and they realized to have finally reached the king’s quarters.

Balian went straight over to the doors that were immediately opened for him, but Sofia stopped. Balian hearing her footsteps to fade and came to a halt as well, turning to give her a questionable look. Sofia smiling.

“The king has requested you, not me, your servant”, she explained, bowing. “I shall wait here till you return.”

Balian thought a moment, glanced at the guards who were indeed eyeing at Sofia suspiciously, until then walked back to Sofia, surprising her by taking hold of his sword’s sheath to pull her closer. Speaking quietly.

“No. I do not want to leave you alone here”, he protested, directing another careful look at the guard at his side before met Sofia’s gaze. “You’re just my servant and squire. You’ll be of no harm to anyone.”

Sofia said nothing, but then raised her eyebrows. “Forgive me my lord, but I find it quite curious to be called your squire by holding onto your sword only once or twice”, she finally mused in amusement. “At first you weren't to accept me as a servant, but now you've made me as much as your bearer of arms…”

Balian directed a slightly frustrated look to the ceiling, causing Sofia to smile again as then one of the guards spoke up.

“My lord?” he called, Balian turning around with an acknowledging nod and resumed his walk, Sofia by his side. But the guard stepped before her.

“The king has requested only baron of Ibelin, not servants with arms”, he said politely, but gave a somewhat poignant look to Sofia. Her returning it serenely, but Balian set a hand on her shoulder.

“It is fine. She’ll do no harm”, he reassured, the guard hesitating but eventually nodded. However still extending his hand.

“The sword stays”, he ordered.

Sofia now looked at him a bit quizzically as the thought of him considering her a threat to their king amused her. But she gave up the sword and now finally followed Balian through the doors, which were instantly closed right after them. Them entering into another hall, but which was loftier and much more majestic than any of the previous ones they’d come across, them walking along, until eventually turned a corner to where the first room was situated. And there they saw a form of a man sitting his back to the door, cloth into a white robe, writing. Assuming him as the king of all Jerusalem.

The walls of the room bore the usual beautiful design preserved from the Byzantine period, a chessboard to have been assembled to the left side of the vast chamber, where right in front of the two was a table. Sofia’s eyes sweeping over the small Christian cross, bible and a statue standing on top of it with many other objects, her feeling the odor of incenses inside that room as well. But the scent was much stronger, smoke rising from many holders, her examination over the lavishly furnished space getting then however interrupted by the king who stirred from his hunched position, starting to talk.

“Come forward”, he urged, to have been roused by the faint steps echoing in the corridors of his quarters, signaling him his visitor to have arrived. “I am glad to meet Godfrey’s son”, Baldwin continued then, taking a small pause in writing as turned his hooded head a bit towards the guests. “…And someone else, whom however I do not recall to have summoned to accompany him to this meeting.”

Balian tensed a fraction but Sofia only stayed calm, lifting her scarf to cover her once again free hair and bowed deep, even the king couldn't see her.

“ **Salaam alaikum** , my king”, she greeted, surprising Baldwin, but who then continued writing. “I have only come due to the request of my lord. I wish not to interfere or otherwise be a hindrance to your discussion.”

“Sofia is my servant”, Balian cut in. “I couldn't leave her waiting outside by herself. Forgive me…my lord.”

Baldwin was silent for a while as pondered over these small observations, soon answering. “I do understand your reasons very well, my lord of Ibelin”, he stated, smile in his voice next as he turned his head to Sofia’s direction again. “So **Alaikum salaam** to you, Sofia…Even I reckon I am not your king, but you lord’s. You may rise.”

Sofia smiled, nodding, realizing the king to have apparently guessed her origin and stood up after kneeling in respect. But as she looked over at this cloaked figure she now saw that his hands were wrapped with cloth...to prevent infection.

Sofia’s heart was squeezed by pity as she realized that this young king, that she'd heard him to be, had as well been infected with leprosy. A horrible and in most cases incurable disease, this notion causing her to sigh. Balian seeming a bit surprised due to the king’s choice of words and there was then another short silence until the king started to talk again.

“He was one of my greatest teachers…” he told them, talking of Godfrey, still writing a couple of lines onto the parchment before him. “He was there when, playing with the other boys, my arm was cut. And it was he, not my father’s physicians, who noticed that I felt no pain…”

Sofia directed an apologetic gaze at the king as he then stood to his full length, turning, removing the hood which concealed him. “He wept when he gave my father the news…that I am a leper.”

Balian was slightly flabbergasted as he and Sofia were now looking at not a face of a man, but a silvery mask, which hid the king’s disfigured face from naked eye. His whole countenance corrupted by the disease, where the eyes looking through the mask were powerful and wise, and now they were lit up by a smile as he gazed at Sofia next to Balian. Indeed noting that the spoken woman had been a Saracen.

“The Saracens say…” Baldwin continued, glancing at Sofia briefly, who returned his gaze her own earnest. “…that this disease is God’s vengeance against the vanity of our kingdom. As wretched as I am, these Arabs believe that the chastisement that awaits me in hell…is far more severe and lasting…isn’t that right?”

By now the king had walked before Balian, but cast a questionable look at Sofia from behind his mask, her being able to imagine him to quirk his eyebrows at her. Her returning his stare in a serious manner before nodded in consent, Baldwin’s eyes filling with amusement due to her expression.

“Then I call it unfair”, he mused as amused, now locking gazes with Balian once more before turned around. “Come, sit.”

Balian followed the king as they ambled to the chessboard, at the beckon of the king sitting down to the opposite sides of it, Sofia staying still at the door. But Baldwin then turned to her and waved, just as one of his servants brought a jug of wine for the king and his guest.

“You as well, Sofia”, Baldwin called, surprisingly using her name as if he was talking to a friend. “I wish to speak to both of you, now when you've arrived along with your lord.”

Sofia smiled and bowed in gratitude, walking to the men and sat on a chair a little farther away from them that the yet to leave servant brought for her. The king leaning back in his own, thinking, until then looked to Balian.

“Do you play?” he questioned, Balian shaking his head.

“No.”

Baldwin gestured to the pieces organized on the board. “The world is in chess. Any move can be the death of you. Do anything except remain where you started, and you can’t be sure of your end. Were you sure of your end once?”

The king had moved one of the pieces on the board. Sofia seeing Balian to glance down momentarily, sadness flickering in his eyes and she reckoned to know why. Her as well gazing at the floor as Balian answered.

“I was”, he admitted.

“What was it?” Baldwin asked again. Balian turning contemplative now, although his sorrow was still present in his wistful features.

“To be buried a hundred yards from where I was born”, was his reply, said with serious voice.

“And now?”

“Now I sit in Jerusalem…and look upon a king.”

Sofia eyed at Baldwin as he let out an entertained breath due to Balian's statement until then released a thoughtful utterance, gazing at the young baron for a moment. But soon the curious eyes of the king found Sofia once more.

“How about you? Are you sure of what awaits you at the end of this life?” he questioned from her, now both of the men staring at the young woman who'd sat silent till then. Sofia meeting the king’s irises, hers soon falling to her lap, her expression unreadable while her eyes were darkened by woe.

“I was once”, she confessed. “But my beliefs were not but dreams, and it was pointed out to me by reality which was quick to rouse me from such fantasy, from that illusion I’d surrounded myself with. And now I can never be sure of my end, as it is as wavering as a reflection on water…As fragile and in danger to be shattered by even a small tug of fate.”

Sofia's gaze hadn't risen and she dwelled in her melancholy for a moment, both of the men observing her attentively, Balian not understanding her so defeated words spoken in such sadness which cause he couldn't name, him then only looking away himself pensively. Baldwin leaning back in his chair once more.

“When I was 16, I won a great victory. I felt in that moment I would live to be a hundred”, he started after a small pause, but sighed as fleeting chagrin then flashed through his eyes. “Now I know I shall not see 30.”

Balian eyed at the king compassionately, but said nothing either now. Also Sofia only sitting in silence, staring at her lap in different kind of sorrow that had awoken in her due to the king’s words…To die young to a disease as vile as leprosy…No one deserved a fate to be first corrupted from outside while still trying to live to the fullest before death, only to be as distorted inside at the final judgment…Due to the bitterness which such a disease created in a person. Sofia frowning in her ponders, now forgetting her own dark meditations from a moment before, but then the king suddenly leant forward. Moving another chess piece forward on the board as continued his speech.

“None of us know our end, really”, he remarked. “Or what hand will guide us there…A king may move a man, a father may claim a son…That man can also move himself. And only then does that man truly begin his own game. Remember howsoever you are played, or by whom, your soul is in your keeping alone. Even though those who presume to play you be kings or men of power. When you stand before God, you cannot say “but I was told by others to do thus”, or that virtue ”was not convenient at the time”. This will not suffice. Remember that…”

Balian exchanged a significant look with the king until nodded.

“I will”, he promised, smile visible in Baldwin’s eyes. But Sofia then spoke up.

“If you would allow me to speak as well, my lord”, she said, finally raising her gaze and smiled to Baldwin who turned to look at her. Sofia glancing down briefly, thinking, until turned but earnest.

“I shall say that I disagree with you. Man’s soul is not his keeping”, she argued, surprising the king as he listened. “Because it is said that God can see into our thoughts and very soul, and do we not pray to achieve peace and absolution through Him in every religion? Then to whom our souls truly belong? Our actions and words are decided by our minds, but our sins begeted by them can be washed away only by a clear conscience…And that only God can give us, which is why we pray. So does it not belong to God, and not to man?”

Baldwin examined this young Saracen with new regard, then feeling himself start to smile wider. Right then him laying witness to something similar within her that Tiberias had, which anyone who'd ever looked into Sofia’s eyes had seen…Wisdom. Him soon sighing at her response, nodding.

“Yes…You can also see it that way”, he agreed. “Your name gives you credit. Or is it that you give credit to your name, Sofia?”

Sofia said nothing at first but only smiled, bowing her head. “I only speak what is needed, my lord.”

“I see that you do.”

Balian glanced at Sofia, pondering her words until then stood up as the king shifted his attention to him. But soon enough Baldwin left his seat as well after a moment of thinking, walking next to Sofia and took a paper from a table, showing it to Balian.

“Do you know what this is?” he inquired, now placing the parchment on the table between himself and the young man. Balian taking it in his hand momentarily, gazing at it as Sofia as well examined the illustration on it in interest.

“The Fortification”, Balian noted, putting the paper back.

“What do you think of it?” Baldwin questioned, looking up to Balian curiously. Sofia now standing herself, stepping a little closer to her lord to see the drawing better as Balian thought over it, looking down at the paper for awhile more until met the king’s eyes. However not being able to reply as the king continued in his stead.

“You disapprove”, Baldwin stated the obvious, concluding so due to the look on Balian’s mien. “How would you improve it?”

“Change the shape”, Sofia commented, the king giving her a quizzical glance but Balian was only taken aback, Sofia pointing at the drawing. “This form is what makes this structure less durable against attacks. Change it.”

Balian then smiled a little, leaning against the table and looked up to the king. “A cross”, he suggested, in a way agreeing with Sofia as now seemed quite enthusiastic, the king listening in interest. “Or better…A star.”

Balian had taken a charcoal in his hand and begun to modify the existing drawing, both Sofia and the king following his hand carefully as it outlined his idea for them to see.

“Like this. That way no part may be approached, without being exposed to fire from another part”, he explained. Baldwin starting to smile in satisfaction and he nodded once he came to see Balian’s standpoint.

“Yes I like this, your walls are more difficult to address”, he agreed. The men locking gazes, where Sofia smiled a little as she caught a sight of true appreciation on her lord’s face, unbeknownst to him for a moment looking like his old self again. Baldwin leant back, smiling behind his mask.

“Very good”, he praised. Balian straightened.

“You will go to your father’s house at Ibelin. Your house now”, he said, meeting Balian’s eyes who matched his gaze serious once more. “And from there you will protect the pilgrim road. Safeguard in particular the Jews and the Muslims…” Baldwin glanced at Sofia. “…All are welcome in Jerusalem. Not only because it’s expedient, but because it is right. Protect the helpless. Protect the people like this servant of yours who sees the true face of God…”

Both Balian and Baldwin looked at Sofia who bowed her head to the king with a slight smile due to his evident sarcasm. This king seeming like a good man, and the way she’d just heard him speak of all faiths to be welcomed to his Jerusalem as equals…It touched Sofia, who wished nothing more than that herself. But then her smile morphed into a frown due to the king’s following words.

“And then maybe one day when I am helpless, you will come and protect me”, he added. His voice even if resolute now a bit significant, as the two men gazed at each other for a moment until Balian smiled sincerely. Nodding, then turning to leave as Sofia rose to her feet, curtsying.

“My king”, she said, about to go with Balian.

“Like I said I am not your king”, Baldwin answered. “That is why I now ask as a simple man and a possible friend, if you find any time from your obligations to your lord Sofia, I’d like to have a discussion with you. For your differing opinions concerning religion caught my interest and I find that perhaps you could help me see things from the point of view of your people…or maybe yours.”

Sofia was surprised, but after she examined the king for a short moment, whose request had also amazed Balian, she then sighed slightly until smiled as always.

“As you wish. I shall try”, she promised, seeing Baldwin’s eyes to smile back at her. But then Sofia took a couple of steps closer to the king and looked into his eyes solemnly, her voice however sincere. “I am indeed a woman of my people…And as such have become familiar with a more advanced medicine than your physicians may possess. I once worked as a carer for wounded and sick in a field ward for soldiers, where I came across this same disease that ails you…And if you wish me to, I can do what is in my power to help you, my lord.”

There was surprise now in the king’s eyes as he stared back at the young woman, but it soon turned into a slight hope and then to gratitude. But in the end he only shook his head.

“No. I thank you, but no. It is too late for me, even with your people’s remarkable power of healing. I shall die to this affliction, but not until I have achieved my certain goals. I refuse to die before my time. So I am grateful for your kindness…but it would be misplaced on me.”

Sofia wrinkled her forehead in understanding, exchanging one last short stare with the king until dropped her gaze, going to Balian’s side. But Baldwin’s voice still called out to her once more.

“Just don’t forget…I shall not die either before I’ve had a change to sit and talk with you, Sofia”, he reminded, Sofia smiling at him from the door. Her saying nothing but only nodded, now her and Balian finally exiting the chamber and soon the king’s quarters.

The man who they had seen at the outer corridor was still there, now waiting for them. And urging Balian to follow with a wave of his hand he now led them through the darkened corridors, but on their way Balian accidentally knocked over a toy figurine depicting a horse and a rider, which had been left on the floor by someone.

Sofia stopped abruptly due the toy at her feet, Balian circling around and crouching down to take it into his hand. And as he did pick it up, Sofia watched him frown slightly once he observed the horseman’s spear to have bent a little, and she smiled slightly…Amused by his expression as he then tried to twist it back upright. But then Sofia noticed how a sudden shadow was cast onto the floor next to her, and as her lord’s eyes rose to stare behind her also Sofia turned, them both now seeing a young boy to be peering back at them from a door-opening that was slightly ajar. The boy leaning against the door, half concealed by it as eyed at them curiously.

Balian stopped working with the figurine as the boy now shyly closed the door a little, Sofia smiling to him sweetly where Balian placed the repaired toy back on the floor. Him leveling one more look at the boy himself until rose to his feet, taking hold of Sofia’s arm lightly and gave it a prompting tug.

“Let’s go”, he urged, Sofia nodding. And after offering another smile to the boy she trailed after her lord. It however not taking long until they heard the door creak, them then turning to see the boy to have come out of the room, crouched on the floor, now holding the toy in his hands. Soon looking up to Balian, and Sofia saw a new kind of expression to take over her lord’s features unlike she’d ever seen him wear before, but which she could very well recognize once a small smile crossed Balian’s lips as he gazed at that boy. Sofia knowing that look…because it was a face that often possessed her too due the mere sight of children.

Sofia let out a low sigh, but then as well gave the boy a gentle glance once he stood, going back to the room he'd appeared from, which by then had turned out to be one of Sibylla's. Balian’s lips curving up into another small smile as he was next about to continue their journey, but it was Sofia’s turn to stay still. Her still staring at the door to the princess’ quarters, Balian stopping to eye at her in wonder.

“Sofia?” he called, but she didn’t hear him at first. Just sighed again, momentarily her mind reeling back to some old memories, feeling all that happiness and sorrow they hold to coincide with that very passing moment like so many instances before…Filling her with regret.

“Sofia?” Balian called her again, questionably. But now Sofia finally smiled, blinking free from her dejected reverie.

“Yes…I’m coming.”

Sofia walked past Balian, still smiling, but to him it was a rueful smile. Like before him only being able to simply wonder the mystery behind those strange emotions currently playing on her mien as they continued to trail after their guide. Them returning the same way back to the courtyard where Tiberias and the hospitaler were waiting for them, the dinner to have ended during the time Balian and Sofia had spent within the inner palace, and upon their arrival they immediately left. Saying their farewells to Tiberias, before returning to their horses once Balian and the hospitaler had changed out of their borrowed clothes and back into their uniforms.

“What did the princess say to you earlier?” Balian asked suddenly, looking at Sofia questionably as they were making their way through the palace gardens to the stables. Him watching Sofia’s gaze to drop and he sensed her to be reluctant to talk, him then frowning as came to realize how oddly she was acting. Her to have said almost nothing after the audience with the king, not to even call Balian _“her lord”_ , Balian measuring the young woman in wonder until then finally she replied with a simple answer.

“She asked my name”, Sofia told him. Balian frowning again, but this time in bafflement. 

“Why?”

“Perhaps she took pity on me”, she said back indifferently, not looking at Balian. “I was after all ridiculed by her husband along with my lord.”

Balian then remembered Guy and was instantly irritated by the mention of the man. “Are you alright?” he asked in concern. “He shouldn’t have spoken so about you.”

“Neither he should have hit me in Messina, but he did. Because I am what I am…A Saracen”, Sofia replied matter-of-factly, suddenly stopping, Balian noticing them to have reached the horses which had been already prepared for them. Him hoisting himself straight to the saddle, offering his hand to Sofia, but she declined with a shake of her head.

“No my lord. I shall walk”, she informed with a weak shadow of a smile, looking away from him. Her suddenly quite distant behavior surprising Balian, reminding him of a true relationship between a lord and his servant, even just a moment ago she'd been smiling. But technically Sofia _was_ his servant so why should he have found this odd? Well, he did. Sofia didn’t talk much, but now she seemed to be deliberately avoiding conversation with him. But after all he then let it go, turning his horse around and allowed Sofia to walk as she desired.

They went back to Balian’s mansion, Sofia indeed walking the whole way there, and immediately after the horses had been brought to their stables she turned to Balian.

“Shall I inform that the meal prepared for you can be given to the servants and their families? After all you dined elsewhere my lord, and it would be a shame to throw away all the food they have made”, she asked. Balian nodding.

“Yes.”

“Shall I come and prepare you a bath?” she questioned.

“No.”

“Is there anything else I can help you with, my lord?”

“No.”

Sofia nodded. “Then send someone to fetch me if you need anything”, she prompted, about to leave. But then she turned on her heels, returning. “Shall we travel to Ibelin tomorrow, my lord?”

Balian shook his head. “No. But soon we shall.”

“Well then, I make sure your belongings have been packed when the time comes.”

Balian nodded in turn as Sofia now presented him with a polite smile, but not her usual full and honest one as left, soon vanishing from sight into the servants' quarters. The hospitaler spotting Balian to frown then in simple thoughts.

“Did something happen during the meeting with the king?” he queried, also looking after Sofia contemplatively. “Sofia seemed distraught.”

Balian was surprised by his remark. He hadn’t concluded her to be distraught, but rather…In the end not knowing. Because of that next only sighing, submitting to his ignorance. “I don’t know.”


	9. Ibelin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phrases written in bold; Arabic
> 
> Phrases written in italics; thoughts, memories, quotes

“There my lord. Ibelin”, Almaric announced. Curbing his horse to a standstill as the group of Balian’s knights that composed the majority of their traveling party came to a stop on top of a hill behind their lord. The new baron eyeing at the wasteland opening before his eyes and the houses scattered upon it, most importantly his focus centering upon the main residence rising above the humble dwellings at the distance, which now along with everything else his eyes could see belonged to him...To a man who in France had nothing.

Sofia stopped her own horse a bit farther away from Balian’s, who had told her to stay close to him in case of something occurring during those couple of days of travel they'd gone through. Naturally Sofia to have complied to his wishes but inwardly she'd just rolled her eyes at the man, for Balian continued to act too cautious of her race. There were hundreds if not thousands of other Arabs and Muslims within his lands alone, so Sofia wasn’t the only one who could’ve been singled out as a possible target by bigoted crusaders or mere common rogues…But as said, Sofia had remained quiet about this fact, as requested staying near her lord the whole way to his estate.

Her eyes begun to wander about the barren landscape, not detecting many signs of fertility expect for a few palm trees and bushes springing out of the dry ground around the estate. Neither her spotting all that much thrifty crop, upon finding close to nothing to grow in these desiccated lands, her frowning at this unsettling realization. How did these people, all these families now under Balian’s care manage to live here? Balian seeming to have noticed the same as he once more gazed at the vicinity of his residence quite blankly, although in his mind was far from pleased at the sight...To have not expected this upon hearing his father or some of his men mention Ibelin.

“Do you have any water springs in these lands?” Sofia did then ask from Almaric, who as an exception from the other knights she'd met from time to time had started to treat her rather considerately. Similarly to his lord not quite in a complete servant like manner, Balian as well turning his head towards the said man, and both he and Sofia saw him to be troubled by the question. Almaric soon responding with a defeated sigh.

“No, not this close to the main estate. All the people living here have to fetch water from a mile away, where there is a well. As you can see these lands are pestered with drought”, he answered. Sofia sighing as well and her eyebrows wrinkled, her staying still when the rest of the group now started to advance towards the mansion, which was even bigger than Balian's second residence at Jerusalem. But eventually she followed, now riding at the rear of the caravan and gazed at the small houses and people as passed...Many of the inhabitants to have hurried to the scene to witness their new lord to arrive.

As Sofia was the last one to ride through the gates leading up to the manor, she saw Balian dismount from his horse just when a servant hurried out of the house. Bowing deeply as greeted the new master of Ibelin, starting to talk in too fast-flowing Arabic for Balian to understand while waved at his lord to follow him inside. After a brief daze Balian after all starting to take slow steps towards the doorway, gazing at the front of the residence in passing stunner of all this now being his by given right until then he remembered Sofia.

He turned, not seeing her anywhere, glancing about the yard in bafflement. Did she get lost? How could've that been? Balian scouring the premises with his gaze a couple of times, soon spotting but her horse that was being led towards the stables with many of the animals of the arrived knights. The servant he couldn’t understand keeping on talking behind his back, trying to usher him in, when Balian’s eyes then found Almaric from amongst the men crowding the yard. Calling out to him, the knight immediately arriving by his side.

“Where’s Sofia?”

“Sofia?” Almaric asked, also his eyes rounding the courtyard, but didn't find her anymore. “She was just here a moment ago. Do you need her? Shall I find her?”

Balian thought a moment until shook his head. “No. It is fine.”

Balian followed the male servant inside and let himself to be guided through the first floor of the house, eventually the servant taking him over to a set of doors that led to a balcony at the back of his residence. But Balian paused on his way to examine the room they’d arrived in, his gaze searching the walls, quickly settling onto a chicken standing on a long dinner table. Him giving the mottled hen a curt look of wonder until his eyes next rose, to look more carefully at a painting he then discovered from the wall behind the table…Depicting a skeleton, holding hands with a woman and a man, words _“quod sumus”_ written beside it. Referring to the dance of death, which meant that whatever the station one possessed, death would unite all…At the thought of this Balian’s eyes moving across the dismal painting once more.

“Quod sumus. Hoc eritis. Such as we are…you will be…”

Balian thought over these signifying words written in Latin for a moment, his brows slightly wrinkled, until the manservant now opened the doors to the balcony. Walking through the doorway himself before soon turned to showcase the magnificent view to Balian, and at the sound of his urging voice Balian broke free from his somber turned ponders and joined the man at the terrace. Gazing about like inside the mansion, on his left finding a small canopy that had been placed at the other side of the balcony to offer some shade, behind which he then also could see a silhouette of an old castle, and which he was later to learn to be used as lodgings for his knights. Balian next walking over to the rail, passing between the thin wooden pillars used to support the now tied up canopy during rain, to go gaze at his lands…His lands. Not being able to believe that he was here, that this had happened…Him to have come to Holy Land with nothing but his name, which either wasn’t anymore his, but once here he’d become the baron of Ibelin…The son of Godfrey of Ibelin.

Balian then frowned as his thoughts reeled back from these arid, inherited lands to Sofia. Nearly a week to have passed since her true identity had been revealed to Tiberias, and ever since that day she’d been much quieter, and that was a lot to be said about a person who in general spoke pretty little. During these total of over three months or so they'd now known each other Balian to have come to believe at least some form of companionship to have grown between them, some form of bond of trust and not a usual servant lord relationship. But even Balian had tried to converse with her like before, Sofia had been so silent and responded with only a couple of selected words instead of representing a counter argument like she often would’ve. Neither had she smiled much, which alone told Balian something to be wrong…for no one rarely came upon Sofia without a smile on her face.

Was she angry about what happened with Tiberias? Was she mad at Balian for breaking his promise, and believed that he'd deliberately tried to get rid of her by exposing her as Saladin’s daughter to the marshal? This fact worrying Balian perhaps the most once he tried to understand the reason behind her recent aloof behavior, and the smile that had just been on his own lips now vanished. This doubt, which he suspected to be the reason why the only interaction between him and Sofia now seemed to be that of a strict lord servant’s, baffling him. For he just didn’t know what it was that had changed.

“Your father was important”, Almaric’s voice invaded Balian’s thoughts and he glanced at him, to see him stop a little behind him. A solemn look on his face once his own eyes traveled over the barren ground remarkably. “His lands were not.”

A ghost of smile returned on Balian’s lips. “That will suit me.”

“My lord!” Sofia’s voice suddenly called out to Balian, causing him to turn in surprise to see her to be walking towards him from the other side of the elongated balcony, which in fact seemed to stretch to a length that was half of the entire manor. Balian observing Sofia to be carrying a tray, two cups on it, and while she walked he soon heard barking. Not long after a dog, a Cocker Spaniel with black and white patches as its fur running out of the house, darting after her. Even wider smile spreading on his lips then once he saw the dog to jump against her excitedly, wagging his tail at Sofia in hopes of getting something from the tray.

“It seems you’ve gotten a new friend”, Balian remarked, quirking his eyebrows, and after nodding at the dog he looked into Sofia’s eyes. Her simply shrugging slightly before gazing down at the spaniel who let out another bark, demanding her attention.

“I don’t know about a friend my lord. He just started to follow me around while I went to the kitchen to prepare these drinks”, Sofia stated as walked over to the men, curtsying curtly.

“Darcy here has become quite people-friendly", Almaric stated and tapped the dog on the head. “I mean after your father found him, my lord. Took him in. He was but a puppy then, a street dog without an owner as many animals are in the city. And pitiful he was. His fur was in very bad condition, half fallen off and he had more fleas than two dogs can carry! And his life was pretty much like any human’s living at the streets…He was pushed around and attacked by other dogs who'd lived at their territory longer and knew where to get food. So Darcy was also nearly starved when Godfrey found him, and he didn’t trust people. But look at him now! Fur so shiny and silky that you’d never believe my words to be true! And completely flea free!”

Both Sofia and Balian examined the happy spaniel, truly not believing him to have once been such a miserable creature by the sight of that wagging tail and overall friendly nature. But Sofia then sighed and smiled, scratching the dog from under his muzzle. Darcy barking lightly, panting as Almaric then took a notice of the tray.

“What do you have there, Sofia?” he inquired as eyed at the cups, Sofia smiling now at him and offered the platter to him.

“Just some cooled tea. I figured it would taste heavenly after hours of endless riding in this parching weather”, Sofia explained, the delighted men taking a cup each. Balian tasting it first and gave the beverage a small surprised smile.

“This is good. Thank you”, he complimented, and Sofia had been right. Something that was this sweet and cool tasted marvelous after all the dust he'd inhaled during the journey past the desert that had left his throat very dry. Sofia returning his smile, but then shifted her focus momentarily to the view opening right next to them. Almaric taking another sip from his own drink until then turned quizzical.

“I understand that you thought of your lord by preparing these…” he started, claiming Sofia’s attention and he raised a wondering eyebrow at her. “But what have I done to earn such kindness from you, Sofia?”

“Actually it was a some form of a bribe”, Sofia confessed, hushing the barking dog and making him sit with her own arched eyebrows and raise of a finger. Balian following this in amusement until Sofia looked back up to Almaric. “I was hoping you could show me around a little and introduce me to the staff, so that I could get to know them and the general ways of this household.”

“Of course. The new main servant of our lord naturally needs to be taught the policies of the residence”, he remarked in realization. Nodding before emptied his cup and placed it back on the tray Sofia extended towards him, Balian raising his brows again. They'd just arrived and Sofia was already starting to work?

Almaric now directed a somewhat questionable look at Balian, as in to ask his permission. Also Sofia then looking at her lord with a tip of her head, glancing between the men until Balian fathomed the meaning of their quizzical glances. Nodding himself.

“Yes, you may go”, he consented, in his opinion too officially, but smiled. Sofia returning it the way she had these days, politely, and bowed her head to him.

“Then I shall help serving the dinner for you a little later, my lord”, Sofia promised. “But I trust you wish to bathe before?”

Balian nodded. He wished for nothing more than that, except for a bed to sleep in. They hadn't stopped to rest for very long periods of time during their voyage, and Balian didn’t remember the last time he’d yearned for a simple meal and bed sheets so much in his life...Well, maybe back when he and Sofia had spent all those days crossing the desert before climbing all the way to the Golgotha after their arrival to Jerusalem.

“Who can I ask to assist me with the bathwater?” Sofia queried from Almaric.

“Her name is Zuleika. She used to be the main servant of the old baron”, he answered, then thinking a moment. “I believe you might’ve met her already. She usually spends most of her time in the kitchen.”

“Oh yes! Then excuse me, my lord, I shall go and prepare your room before the bath”, Sofia said to Balian who nodded again, but sent a bit odd look after her once she then turned and passed through the balcony to the opposite side, the spaniel trailing her steps and barking at her.

“Darcy, sit boy!” Almaric exclaimed, the dog stopping immediately and obediently he walked back to the men, sitting in front of them. Balian crouching to rub Darcy’s neck in thoughts.

Yes, his interaction with Sofia had definitely turned only to that between a servant and a lord…But could've he expected any less after he'd given in for her plead to serve him as one? Balian sighing discontent at that particular notion, which even if not sitting well with him, was still true…at least to certain extent.

* * *

Balian was brought to his quarters by Almaric, which naturally had been the master bedroom of Godfrey's and as of that day would become his son’s. Once venturing to the innermost part of his rooms Balian letting his eyes round the space in similar fashion it had studied the whole house earlier. Finding there to be a simple writing desk next to a big bed, the windows and the balcony giving to the backyard as well, and made it possible for Balian to gaze down at his lands directly from his bedroom any time he wished it. Strong scent of incenses filling the rooms, which all were affluently furnished, taken that although his father had been a baron here in Holy Land, he wasn’t one of the most wealthiest of his peers.

Balian next spent a moment examining the bookkeeping he’d noticed to have been piled onto the desk, to see out of pure curiosity what was there to wait for him as the new lord of the manor…And for his irking he quickly noted that the books did not add up and that they were notably behind, for even years maybe, possibly unaccountable after such a long time of neglect they’d suffered during the years of Godfrey’s run of the estate. Balian sighing at this discovery, but his ponders were then cut short by Sofia who came in with an older woman whom Balian concluded to be the one Almaric had named Zuleika. Zuleika greeting him with a rather good grasp of his language and even in slight surprise Balian nodded to her, but as the woman now placed a bucket of hot water on the floor she exchanged a couple of Arabic words with Sofia until exited the room, curtsying to Balian.

“I thought you were still out with Almaric scoping your lands a little more before dinner, my lord”, Sofia stated, glancing up to Balian as now walked over to the bucket, Balian shaking his head.

“No, that shall wait until tomorrow”, he answered, going to Sofia to take the heavy looking bucket from her, but she simply leveled a questionable look at him.

“It is heavy”, Balian specified. “Let me lift it.”

“Which of us is the servant, my lord?” Sofia questioned back and did raise the bucket by herself, taking it to the tub. Balian only gaping a bit at her usual stubbornness but stayed silent, then following Sofia as she first lit up some candles and then took a jar of some powder, which had a quite strong but nice odor of its own. Her sprinkling some of it into the tub, before Balian watched her to hoist the bucket with one hand easily, pouring the boiling contents inside. The sweet scent he didn't recognize spreading throughout the whole room, masking even the more aromatic fragrance of the incense. Balian now taking notice that Sofia hadn’t changed clothes yet.

“Haven’t you bathed?” he asked, somewhat incredulous, where Sofia let out a laugh.

“A servant cannot possibly bathe before her lord, my lord”, she reminded him in amusement, putting down the bucket before then went to the closet at the end of the room. Taking out towels as Balian nodded. Right.

“The soap is on the table if you need it, my lord”, Sofia then continued. “I shall come and inform you when the dinner is ready. You can leave your uniform out, and once I’ll come to put away the bathwater I’ll take it to be washed.”

“Thank you”, Balian said smiling, now a bit habitually, Sofia nodding.

“Do you wish me to stay and help you, my lord?” she asked, unfolding one of the towels as faced her lord. Taking Balian aback so that he froze, blinking once, clearly an uncomfortable expression on his face that amused Sofia to whom helping a man bathe wasn’t anything new.

“No there is…no need. I can do it myself”, Balian answered, looking away evidently abashed, therefore not seeing Sofia’s entertained smile.

“It is my duty as your servant to help you bathe, my lord”, she stated the truth, teasing him. Balian turning even more embarrassed, letting out a slow, pent-up breath.

He remembered vividly how awkward it had been back at Jerusalem to take a bath in his residence, several servant women giggling around him while simultaneously drying him once he'd been finished…And even if he could barely cope up with an ordeal like that, he could never let Sofia do something similar…Especially let her see him in such a state when unlike those other women Balian knew her, the situation to have been entirely different should she have been simply one of the servants of this house he'd never met, although even then it would’ve been highly inconvenient…But she was Sofia.

“No Sofia, there is no need”, Balian repeated, Sofia tilting her head at his adamant delivery but said nothing. Her then placing the bucket next to the wall and was about to leave, but Balian still stopped her after getting over his fleeting embarrassment.

“Sofia”, he called, causing the woman to stop and turn to him quizzically. “I’ll tell Almaric to have a room arranged for you."

Sofia sighed. “My lord, there is no need for that. I can sleep with the rest of the servants, as I'm not in any higher position than them.”

“You’re wrong”, Balian contested, maybe stiffening a tad himself due to the sound of his words, where Sofia stared at him in puzzlement. Eventually frowning and tipping her head again in wonder.

“I am?” she questioned. Balian sighed in turn.

“I do not consider you as a servant, Sofia”, he said seriously. “I have accepted your servitude and allowed you to stay by my side and help me as one, but you aren't like the others. You are my guest in this house and I am to take care of you. I promised my father I would.”

There was a moment of silence as Sofia looked down momentarily, sadness flickering in her dark eyes as she recalled the older crusader. In the end smiling at the memory.

“And you will, my lord”, she answered. “By letting me do what is there for me to do…What else could I do than serve you as a servant?”

Balian was speechless as Sofia looked at him remarkably, falling silent, just gauging at this young woman in slight confusion again. But Sofia next only smiled once more.

“There. I was born for a simple life such as this. And now I’ve lived it so long that I cannot even think of living in any other manner”, she continued.

“But you are a princess”, Balian remarked. “You weren't born to serve but to be served. Am I supposed to ignore that?”

Sofia looked at Balian again, locking eyes with him. Sighing deeper, and in her eyes Balian then saw true plead, which baffled him further.

“Yes. You should”, she replied earnestly. “If that is what I ask of you…will you treat me the same way as so far? You told me that to you I was just Sofia. Has that changed, my lord?”

Balian was silent for a while, gazing down himself in a fleeting loss of words until shook his head. “No.”

Sofia nodded contented and then looked away, them standing in silence for a brief moment. Until it was Sofia who broke it, smiling.

“Go in. The water shall cool before you have finished”, she urged, casting a slight glance at Balian, until then was again about to leave. Her walking out of the room to the next with brisk steps, on her way to the door leading to the corridor, but like before Balian stopped her.

“Please Sofia”, he bidded, meeting her gaze. “If not for anything else than as a sign of my gratitude…take the room. For all that you have done for me. I meant it when I said you are no ordinary servant to me, but I have started to consider you as a companion…As a friend, or at least something close to it…”

Sofia seemed hesitant, about to argue, but Balian then turned visibly frustrated due to her desire to oppose him and he leveled a significant look straight into her eyes. “Or must I order you to take the room?”

It was Balian's turn to be amused as he behold Sofia’s quite stupefied reaction, her however in the end she just sighing, closing her eyes as nodded in surrender.

“Very well. I thank you for your kindness, my lord”, she complied, Balian smiling satisfied himself.

“Good.”

Balian now watched as Sofia bowed and opened the door, closing it behind her. Still smiling him then going back to the bedroom through the thin curtains that hung in between the separate rooms and removed his shirt, dipping his fingers into the water of the tub. Flinching. It truly was hot.

* * *

It was around midnight when Balian was lounging at the balcony, staring at the now dark landscape in deep thoughts. He'd after all spoken with Sofia before dinner, but she hadn’t seemed all that different to how she’d come across to him these past few days…And they hadn’t actually talked about the fact that worried Balian.

He'd always gotten along with Sofia, for they were both very quiet people by nature, but when they did speak with each other he felt that they understood one another in some unspeakable way. But was there really something wrong? She had accepted his offer of the room, but it had been obvious her to have done so reluctantly…Quite frankly Balian not understanding her.

He couldn’t sleep, even he'd been so tired after arriving to Ibelin. But it seemed that the bath and the plentiful meal had given him his strength back, and now when he could’ve just gone to bed and slept, his earlier fatigue seemed to have eluded him. So instead Balian was now leaning onto the balcony’s rail again, staring into the darkness, thinking pretty much nothing but still everything. Until then all of a sudden Darcy sprung to the scene, darting out of the door and the man could but hear the soft thud of his paws before he was soon sitting next to him. And as Balian glanced down at him he saw the dog to tilt his head and wag his tail, Balian smiling at him. Scratching his head and neck.

“How do you talk to her I wonder, if you became so good friends with her at once?” he questioned, amused. Darcy just staring at him, panting, enjoying the petting until yawned. Causing Balian to this time smirk at the animal, but as he then eyed at the dog he soon decided to go see if Sofia was in her room, for he needed to ask her directly whether everything was fine. Because Balian knew that otherwise she wouldn’t actually tell that to him herself…Especially when she seemed to have come to take her duties as his servant so seriously.

Balian walked into his room through the opened balcony doors, Darcy following him as he then exited his private quarters. The room he'd asked to be prepared for Sofia situated not but three doors away from his and Balian ambled straight to it, waiting a short moment before knocked. Expecting to hear footsteps but didn’t, Darcy sitting down and looking up to him questionably, where Balian knocked again, this time noticing the door to be actually open. Balian letting out a breath and opened it, hoping not to catch Sofia in middle of changing as stepped in. But he saw no one. She wasn’t there.

Darcy had accidentally sneaked in, and surprised Balian now watched as he instantly circled the room, stopping to sniff at Sofia’s sandals left by the bedside. And recognizing her smell he soon jumped on her bed, pushing through the thin curtain that fell down from the canopy. Laying down clearly satisfied, Balian examining the dog for a brief moment more until released an amused breath.

“Come and get me when she returns”, he told to the spaniel who shifted his eyes back to Balian as rested his head on his paws. Darcy’s tail waving once, maybe as a sign of approval, and Balian directed one more amused glance at him before turned, going back to the corridor, beginning to wander around the house absentmindedly. Partly looking for Sofia, partly just doing a random stroll about the residence, examining his house once more. The servants whom he crossed paths with all greeting him with deep bows and curtseys, which he returned with a civil nod, noting that most of them were Muslims and didn't speak anything other than Arabic…The language he obviously was yet to learn.

Nevertheless Balian didn’t find Sofia, as if she wouldn’t have been even in the whole house. Balian sighing at this notion, but in fact another thought then also crossed his mind; Why he found it so important to talk with Sofia, to know everything was alright between them? Well, Balian didn’t want her to think that he'd tried sell her out to Tiberias, or to anyone for that matter, and use her as a pawn in the war against Saladin…Because he would never do that. And yet concluding by Sofia’s recent behavior, how she'd become more earnest and reserved while with him, Balian thought that perhaps his hunch was right about that…This realization causing him to sigh again.

Abruptly Balian spotted Zuleika at the end of one of the corridors he’d ambled to, talking to another woman Balian had previously seen serving dinner last evening. Both of them curtsying in unison upon seeing him stand not all that far from them.

“Good evening, my lord”, Zuleika greeted, Balian nodding before gazed at the woman quizzically.

“Have you seen Sofia?” he inquired, the women looking at each other, until the elder one soon remembered, smiling.

“Oh, the new girl! Yes, my lord, she has already retired I’m afraid. She has worked hard to familiarize herself with the manners of this house, even it’s but her first day here at Ibelin, and must be tired!” Zuleika stated in awe, Balian sharing her smile.

“So she is in her room?” he confirmed, Zuleika nodding.

“Yes, my lord. But is there a reason you need Sofia? Could I be of any help?”

“No, no need. I just have to speak with her that is all.”

Zuleika nodded once more, exchanging a quick remarkable look with the other woman who smiled as well rather suggestively, them both eyeing at their new young lord briefly, measuring him. Until then Zuleika smiled wider, curtsying again.

“Well then, you can find Sofia from her room. Good night, my lord.”

“Good night.”

Balian returned upstairs, like before going straight to Sofia’s room. This time not hesitating but knocked at once, although didn’t get a response either now, Balian frowning at the silence that greeted him. Zuleika had said Sofia to have already retired, so why didn’t she answer the door? He tried again.

“Sofia?” he called as no one came to let him in either now. But then he suddenly heard scratching from the other side of the door and a faint whimper, and as Balian now again opened the door himself, he found Darcy to be still in Sofia’s room. Standing there his tail wagging, but the motion immediately stopped once the dog saw the comer to be Balian. And the man could’ve sworn to hear the dog snort, as if disappointed to see him instead of Sofia, Balian next watching him to scamper back over to the bed and jump on it. Making a circle as searched his place, until finally the dog placed himself onto the cushions, eyeing at Balian rather suspiciously now.

“Sofia’s still not here?” Balian questioned from him, what else but slightly amused again once he saw Darcy to snort in response. The dog placing his head onto one of the cushions while Balian shook his head at the animal until soon walked further in, now spending a moment to examine Sofia’s room that wasn’t much different from his. Having same kind of a tub and a closet along with open twin doors to the balcony, warm night air streaming in and fluttering the curtains, and unlike in his quarters Balian could detect a faint smell of flowers to float about the room. No incense to have been lit up to burn there.

Balian went round the bed, his eyes now hitting on the long chest of drawers and on it he noticed some curious objects, at the wonder of them soon finding himself walking over to the dresser to gaze at them in interest. One of them not being actually very extraordinary, just a beautiful small mirror, clearly Saracen made by the decorations on it, but the two other ones were strange to Balian. Him picking up a peculiar, small container, looking a bit like an hourglass but it wasn’t, having some black powder in it. It could’ve been another healing herb of the Arabs, but Balian didn’t think so, as the container was too fine looking and ornate to be used to something so casual. The container having a string attached to it, which made it possible to be carried around one’s neck.

With a raise of his brows Balian then lifted the container from the chain, and with a single sniff discovered some pungent, bitter odor to indeed issue from it, Balian frowning in distaste as put the container back on the drawer. Him next looking at the third object, which he now realized to be nothing but a small dagger, but he reckoned it to be more of an heirloom than an actual weapon as it was far too embellished and delicate for any practical use either, as well having a chain attached to it. Him now taking it in his hand before pulling the thin, curvy blade out of its light sheath…the shape of it proving it to have also been made by the Saracens. Balian wondering where Sofia had gotten these objects…Had she had them with her when she’d been kidnapped? After a moment of thought him indeed concluding these items to be mementos…of her home.

But it was then when Balian suddenly heard the sound of the door opening and closing and he gasped out of his ponders, him pushing the dagger back into its sheath once he heard the light footsteps of Sofia’s, before her quite surprised voice started to talk behind his back.

“How did you get into my room?” she asked from the spaniel, who had immediately raised his head excitedly and Balian saw his tail wag furiously behind the curtain. Him smiling as he heard Sofia to sigh although she was probably smiling too, her then bending down to smooth Darcy’s fur.

“Honestly, what do you find so likable in me that you had to come and sleep in my bed? Oh, well…I guess you are adorable in your own way. Except that amount of fur you are leaving behind”, she continued, straightening. Darcy barking lazily.

Sofia hadn't noticed Balian who was standing at the other side of the bed, shrouded by the canopy’s curtain. And just as he was then about to step out from its cover he was frozen on his spot due to surprise, Sofia to have been at the fountain in the backyard which the servants used to wash up, as she hadn’t had the time or a chance to bathe before since their arrival. So once she'd finally been freed from work she'd gone to bathe there instead of waiting till she was in her room, and hence since she indeed hadn’t seen Balian stand behind her back she’d just casually removed her robe, tossing it onto the table. Balian stiffening as he now found himself staring at Sofia’s completely naked body.

Balian had always regarded Sofia to be very young, but now as he couldn’t stop himself from taking in her curves suddenly fully uncovered before his eyes, he came to the instant conclusion she wasn’t so young after all. Not so young he'd always seen her…And it now became evident why so many men would’ve been eager to pay fortunes just to be with her…Balian putting a stop to such thoughts immediately wherever they were going, reprimanding himself for even having them, until he now discovered Sofia to also have a small tattoo on her lower back once he tried to cast his eyes down modestly, instead becoming fascinated by that henna tattoo which looked like a flower of some kind. And even she'd told Balian and the hospitaler that she'd spent part of her life fighting alongside her master of the time, Balian couldn’t see any scars or other marks of healed battle wounds on her skin. But it was perfectly smooth, flawless …

Balian then flinched again at his mind that continued to border towards impropriety as Sofia next swung her long, moist hair over her shoulder, revealing her bare back. Her raking the strands of a bit tangled locks until was just about to grasp a comb from the table when Balian then tried to take a hold of himself, still ending up but taking a shocked step backwards and accidentally shoved the dagger he'd been holding. Causing it to slip from the drawer and fall down with a loud clang that finally revealed his presence to the unsuspecting woman, Sofia whipping around in fright, and once her eyes locked with Balian’s he could see her bewilderment. But unlike him she didn’t turn embarrassed at all, where Balian froze again. Clearing his throat and finally was able to look away while confronted with Sofia’s dismayed demeanor, although a moment ago he couldn’t have stopped his eyes from wandering.

“My lord?!” Sofia questioned in surprise, glancing to her sides as her hand swiftly grasped her discarded robe and jerked it from the table to cover herself with it.

“Forgive me Sofia, you…did not see me. I came here to talk, but you were not here so I waited…” Balian explained, trying to sound normal, although he had to force himself not to glance at Sofia. Moment of silence ensuing until he then first heard her sigh until picked up the sound of her footsteps again.

“It is alright. You wouldn’t be the first man to see me like this, my lord, so there isn’t actually anything to hide”, Sofia stated the obvious, Balian remaining silent as dropped his gaze from the wall he’d been staring at. Well that could’ve been true but…taken how guilty he was currently feeling over this whole incident she shouldn’t be speaking so casually about it…Sofia now going to the closet and Balian immediately turned around once he noticed her to drop the robe to the floor before pulled out a night gown, putting it on.

“You wanted to see me, my lord?” her voice then questioned. And concluding he was able to turn, Balian tardily met her gaze. It actually amazing him how she didn’t look at all uncomfortable but was eyeing at him completely serene, where he could still feel his blood rush. Him letting out another cough, nodding.

“Is everything alright, my lord?” Sofia asked again, tilting her head. Balian turning pensive in turn, which chased away his abashment.

“Yes, is everything alright Sofia?” he asked back, Sofia now looking at him honestly confused.

“What do you mean my lord?”

Balian frowned, taking a step forward. “You have acted strangely this past week”, he specified, Sofia blinking once. “I’ve been wondering is there something bothering you?”

“Why would anything be bothering me, my lord?” Sofia inquired, now walking over to the bed and sat, smoothing Darcy’s head who moved it on her lap. Balian coming closer.

“You tell me”, he said. “You’ve been very quiet and distant after we left Jerusalem. Even that much silence is not something to be expected from you.”

Sofia looked out to the balcony. “I’m not sure to what do you refer by distant, my lord, as the bond between a servant and a lord is hardly a close one”, she answered, nonchalantly as was her habit in such situations. Balian not helping but feeling frustrated by that and he sat at the other side of the dog, Darcy giving him an annoyed glance as his head rose, as if to tell Balian he was not welcome on the bed with them.

“You know you've become close enough to me for me to realize something to be different about you”, Balian claimed, serious. “Sofia…I can’t help but think I have done something to wrong you.”

Balian surprised Sofia and her eyes widened slightly, her turning to him in confusion. “Wronged me, my lord?”

Balian wrinkled his brows, gazing at her then in regret. “I mean what happened at Tiberias’s office. Are you angered with me because I allowed him to find out who you are?”

“My lord…” came out of baffled Sofia’s mouth, her simply staring at Balian, also taken aback by his sudden confrontation which as far as she remembered was the fist time he’d ever spoken to her this directly...especially when it appeared that it was stemming from something that clearly bothered him.

“I didn't mean to give you an impression that I had an intention of using you”, Balian continued. “I fear I have made you believe thus, and am sorry if you think I tried to break my promise to you. I did not either know that we were to talk of you during our meeting with Tiberias, but even if I had known, I could’ve never revealed your true identity as I know it would be dangerous for you. I am responsible of you, and if I would ever allow myself to break your trust, as you have so sincerely pledged your loyalty to me, I wouldn't forgive myself for that.”

Sofia examined Balian, still a bit puzzled due to his sincerity as he gazed back at her now silent after also quite an unnatural long speech. But she then smiled, stopping her stroking hand on Darcy’s neck while looking forward. The dog raising his head for the second time as if to ask why she stopped.

“Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death…” she mused half to herself, in turn confusing Balian momentarily. But then she sighed.

“Is that what you have been worried about, my lord? That I am angry to you?” Sofia questioned, now looking at her lord again. But she was smiling in amusement. “No, my lord. You have not angered me. I admit I did think you had told of me to that man, Tiberias, in order to make me if not a pawn but still a part of your war…But I dare say I know you well enough also to see from you when you speak true to me…And now you do.”

Balian was even further surprised, where Sofia’s eyes were smiling at him in turn, her soon shaking her head.

“No my lord, that is not the reason for my quietness. I am sorry if I have been as distant as you say. It has not been my intention”, she continued, now turning more thoughtful and her smile faltered, her hand stopping again amidst stroking Darcy’s fur as she then looked down. This time around Balian seeing worry in her eyes and he frowned in wonder of her change in emotion, now also placing his hand on the dog’s side and begun to smooth it. Darcy jerking up a bit in annoyance, as if he wouldn’t have wanted him to pet him when Sofia was already doing it.

“Then what is it?” Balian asked, curious. “If it wasn’t me who has left you distraught, then what is it?”

Balian stared at Sofia. Her not answering at first and just let her gaze wander around the room until she then closed her eyes, her shoulders dropping.

“My quietness has to do with the meeting with Tiberias”, she finally revealed, glancing up to Balian. “But it’s not due to your actions, my lord, or Tiberias’, as you have been nothing but kind to a unworthy woman like me…”

Balian now detected a fast flicker of even deeper pain and sorrow in Sofia's gaze which kind he'd never seen, her letting out a short, new sigh as turned away, glum for a moment. Balian’s hand also stopping his petting of the spaniel as he gazed at her, soon frowning too in sadness, for he could guess what she was thinking and felt pity. But rather even if he would’ve wanted to say a word of comfort, he hadn't seen the life Sofia had, and couldn't say anything which could take it away. Or as much as ease the burden and clear misfortune it had branded her with. Because of that him only remaining silent, looking down, then glancing at Sofia’s hand on Darcy next to his, feeling hesitant. But just as he was about to place his palm on Sofia’s she took in slightly shaky breath and straightened, pulling her hand into her lap instead and gave him a somewhat smile.

“That meeting and talk of my true identity along with the life I once led…” Sofia continued, her smile now only blue. “It just made me realize how alone I actually am. And that besides this house I have nothing to go to and call home, as even if I would find my way back to my father, my sisters and brothers…my grandmother…none of them would want to see me ever again. Because of what I am, what I have become…I have no place of happiness aside for the one I can only pretend to bring me joy…”

Balian looked at Sofia this time sadly, as her words made his own sorrow resurface from deep within him. Alone and having no place to where truly feel happy, whole…he couldn’t have understood better. Balian now feeling the pressure of the still relatively fresh pain of loss in his chest once more after quite a long moment of absence, but Sofia then looked at him, smiling.

“But I can always try here. With you my lord…In Ibelin”, she said. “I can try to make this place my home now. As long as you’ll have me, that is.”

They exchanged a stare, Sofia looking sincere, where Balian was somehow dazed when he now also noted for the first time that Sofia’s eyes truly were blue. Deep blue…Like the night sky. Him returning her smile.

“I’ll have you”, he agreed. Sofia looking truthfully thankful as her smile then widened to that it usually was, her lowering her head.

“Thank you, my lord. For giving me a reason to live like your father did.”

All of a sudden the silence was disrupted by the sound of a growling stomach. Balian frowning but this time in bafflement only, Darcy waking up from his slumber and he turned his head around, eventually looking at Sofia. Also Balian’s eyes rising to stare at the young woman suspiciously.

“Have you not eaten anything?” he asked, in disbelief. Sofia inclining her head.

“I was supposed to. But didn’t have the time”, she confessed. Balian looking at her now but bewildered until sighed, standing up.

“Wait here”, he prompted, walking to the door.

“My lord?”

“Stay here. I go get you something to eat”, Balian told her, Sofia instantly standing up in protest.

“No. My lord, there is no need…” she started, but Balian’s now quite hard, commanding gaze caused her objections to cease.

“You haven’t had anything to eat since this morning. You’ll faint if you keep on going like this”, Balian sated matter-of-factly.

“But my lord for you to…” Sofia tried, but Balian placed a hand on her arm, narrowing his eyes until smiled a little.

“Stay here”, he repeated, opening the door. Sofia blinking in surprise but then simply sighed, giving in before his evident authority.

“This is after all my room now…” Balian heard her mutter through the door before he closed it. That statement causing him to smile as he then walked across the corridor to get to the stairs, heading for the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Name translations: Zuleika (the fair one)


	10. Building the Kingdom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> A Bit longer chapter this time...
> 
> Phrases written in bold; Arabic  
> Phrases written in italics; thoughts, memories, quotes

When Balian returned he found Sofia sitting outside at the balcony, her legs crossed on the chair as she gazed up at the few stars visible. Her loose hair fluttering in the lazy breeze, and as Balian watched the strands to twirl in the wind he realized how long it truly was. Longest he'd ever seen on any woman.

Sofia heard the rustle of Balian’s shoes as he now stepped to the terrace, walking to her a plate in his hand before sat down to a chair next to hers, placing the plate on the floor. A quick glance cast down to it telling her that he'd brought along a small selection of fruits that had been left over from supper, Sofia smiling at this delightful notion as put down her legs. Reaching for a date.

“Thank you, my lord”, she said, Balian smiling back at her, until then shifted his focus to the vast sky above them in turn.

“Shouldn’t you go to sleep?” Sofia inquired, taking the first bite. “There’ll be a lot to do tomorrow on your first day as the official lord of the manor.”

Balian closed his eyes, letting out a long sigh before turned his head back down. “I cannot sleep. I was death tired the moment we arrived, but later on didn't find myself as weary any longer.”

Sofia eyed at him without replying, thinking a moment until locked brief gazes with Balian. “What have you come to think of your new home, my lord?”

“I really cannot say…This is all so new to me that I do not know yet how to react”, he confessed, a wondering look on his mien as smiled a bit at his reply. Sofia understanding him, but then suddenly saw Balian’s expression to darken for actual worry.

“But what troubles me is the lack of water in these lands”, he stated. “That is a serious problem in dire need of fixing, but there is always the issue of nothing to be found in the soil if the ground is dry enough.”

“We have to hope for the best”, Sofia encouraged. “Not only these lands, but these people earning their livelihood from it are depended on the little water this estate has to offer.”

Balian nodded in concur, them next taking a break from their conversation. Sofia reaching for another fruit in her own ponders, but Balian’s drastic change of topic soon surprised her. Breaking her train of thought.

“What did you mean when you called yourself unworthy?” he queried, in honest interest. Sofia’s hand pausing when it was about to push a piece of the fruit into her mouth, it soon only sinking to her lap, before Sofia once again tucked her legs under herself on the chair.

“You do know, my lord”, she reminded. “You know what is it that I have been doing for the past 8 years of my life to survive…Given myself to men willingly because it was all I knew and could imagine without a choice of freedom...You know, my lord.”

Of course Balian knew, him now leveling one of those compassionate looks at suddenly downcast Sofia, as she only stared to the distance in slight shame. But then she let out a gloomy laugh, looking at Balian rather quizzically.

“Would you not call that kind of a woman unworthy in more ways than one? Unworthy of compassion? Unworthy of kindness, respect or God’s forgiveness? Yes, I once braced myself to live without perhaps ever receiving any of them…Because it’s the way world sees things. Without an exception.”

Sofia turned her eyes away again. But instead of satisfying himself with her remark Balian now looked at her but earnestly, disagreeing with her.

“No”, he objected, his so definite tone causing Sofia to gasp, and slowly she turned to face him. To see him stare at her with no sign of a lie either on his face or in his irises that were then locked with hers.

“I’ve seen your kindness. Your goodness. I’ve seen how you care about everything around you with such sincerity that I cannot understand why you couldn't be respected and forgiven”, he said, not breaking their stare. “You are good, Sofia. And when you spoke of the impossibility of a perfect knight, of a perfect man…I disagree. I think you are a perfect woman as you are now, Sofia. As perfect person as you can be…So yes, you deserve respect and kindness, as you are no more unworthy in the eyes of God than in mine. And you shall not receive anything less than that from me.”

Sofia was speechless as she returned Balian’s everything but false gaze. Her practically feeling his sincerity in this matter, in those words he'd spoken so frankly, which confused her. But still it filled her with such a heartfelt glee that she was in fact shocked, for she hadn't seen herself with so gracious and understanding eyes in years, with such eyes that this man, her lord, seemed to look at her with regardless of her past he knew not to be chaste or devoid of that which he came to Holy Land to redeem his own soul of. So somewhat dazed by this Sofia blinked as stared at Balian who stared back, her feeling tears starting to form in her eyes. Them eventually falling on her cheeks unlike they'd ever fallen for years either…For she was crying for joy. For sincere happiness due to the benevolence this man had just expressed with a few amiable words, even he had every reason to condemn her like the rest of the world did.

Balian watched as Sofia started to cry, not saying anything but just eyed at him, until then she took in a breath and faced away from him. Thinking of his words for a while until wiped her cheeks, once more smiling.

“Thank you”, she said quietly, this time not using the honorific, visibly relieved which was also evident from her appeased tone. And Balian, who felt relieved himself to see Sofia’s inner distress to have lifted even if just a little, was now quite comfortable with that…A simple thank you. Him smiling at Sofia briefly before turning his attention back to the night sky, which had now further darkened as a sign of the early hours between the dead of night and early morning. But then Sofia spoke.

“Why did you come to the Holy Land, my lord?” she asked, now looking again completely calm as instead turned her eyes back to the man, to examine him. And it was Balian’s turn to be surprised, him now avoiding the young woman’s gauging gaze when it took notice the way he stiffened. Him frowning, and Sofia saw something very dark and sad to be written all over his face, until it was buried under a grim expression that still bordered close to apathetic…But soon enough he answered, his delivery equally somber.

“To repent my sins”, he said. “And others’.”

Sofia didn't miss the way Balian begun to smooth the cross shaped scar on his palm absentmindedly after finishing his sentence, his quite affectionate motion of a mere finger then causing her to have an instant realization, as she after all hadn’t needed to make the question to know the answer to it...Or so she thought, Balian's gloomy countenance now changing with a flicker of remorse.

“I’ve done murder”, he then surprisingly revealed. Sofia turning her eyes to him, to witness the regret that then commingled with the pain within his eyes alone, which were strictly riveted to the balcony’s rail. Balian then squeezing his scarred hand into a fist in a fit of passing rage, a remembrance from the time that had brought him to this strange land. “I killed a man who stole the cross of my wife’s while burying her. That man…he was my brother.”

Balian’s gaze now dropped, Sofia staring at him in even greater astonishment, in dismay even. Yes, she'd learnt about his act of murder in France as she'd been present once those men from his village had arrived to take him back to be punished for his crime…But to think the deceased had been his brother and the reason behind his death had laid strictly in Balian’s late wife…Sofia looking away momentarily, saddened, as Balian continued. Now eyeing at the scar, staring at it in clear agony.

“He was the town’s priest”, he told her. “The day my father arrived to take me with him here, to Jerusalem, I refused. But my brother came to me that night, telling me that now my wife gone and her soul condemned into eternal damnation I had no place in the village, that I was unwanted there…And he urged me to go with my father to repent for my wife’s sins, as it was my obligation as a Christian and as a husband...He provoked me. Saying her to remain in hell as long as I wouldn’t leave and erase the sin she committed by...”

Balian’s voice broke down and he frowned, Sofia looking at him ruefully.

“By killing herself?” She offered gently. Balian flinching, but met her gaze that was only compassionate. Not aghast or judgmental, Balian actually not even grasping the true reason why he was talking to Sofia about this…About an act so dreadful that he barely dared to go over it himself…But somehow he perhaps knew that Sofia would be the only one to listen to him without neither pity or horror reflecting through her eyes, Sofia indeed then simply sighing at the true cause behind his act of taking that man’s life, casting her eyes down as Balian continued…His voice however then much more bereft, barely above a wisper due to the torment that was imbedded into those painful words.

“She couldn’t bear the loss of our child…and nothing I said eased her pain.”

“Her actions are not yours to make amends”, Sofia said. “She chose to die by herself, without considering what it would do to you, who loved her more than anything. And forgive me for saying this…but I find it only cruel. What she did to you. Choosing to die when there were people who cared about her to support her in her grief…And maybe I wasn’t there to witness your wife’s agony…but she wasn’t the only one who lost a child that day, and it makes me think that such selfish people might deserve to be cast into damnation…”

Balian’s eyes widened slightly but he only looked away, not saying anything in response. Him understanding Sofia’s point and saw the reason of it…but just couldn’t use it to be rid of his guilt that asserted otherwise. So he then only sat still, not moving for a long time, until Sofia soon stood and went to the rail. Her expression unreadable, but just like her lord's a moment past her eyes were abruptly filled with sadness again…Same kind as Balian’s.

“I have also done murder”, she now revealed in turn, truthfully shocking Balian and his eyes shot up to stare at her in outrage, Balian’s stuck on frown deepening at the dismay of the thought. Sofia a murderer? How could that be?

Sofia gazed down, her next continuing to speak with a much lower voice that was soon riddled with nothing but sorrow…And shame. A single look of her signaling how hard it was for her to elaborate, the tables thus turning as suddenly it was Sofia who was about to make a confession that was to upset Balian…but also ease his own inner torment once he realized not to be the only one bearing an unimaginable weight on his conscious.

“I’ve killed one of my masters. When I was fourteen I was purchased by a Byzantian merchant…and I stabbed him to death.”

Balian examined her incredulously, close not being able to believe what she was telling him, as nothing about her indicated her to be a cold-blodded killer. “Why did you do it? What happened?”

Sofia closed her eyes, her response troubling Balian once she finally answered. “He was about to kill me. He had desired an innocent, unsoiled woman as his new mistress…But once he realized my virtue had already been claimed he got furious, claiming that because it had been his brother who had acquired me, I must’ve been spoiled by him. And so in his rage…he tried to run me through with a sword…”

Balian straightened in his chair. “You had no choice”, he remarked. “If you wouldn’t have killed him you would’ve died.”

Sofia let out a sad laugh, tilting her head until gazed up. “Is that my justification for such an unforgivable act?” she inquired, then sighing, nodding. “It is. No matter how horrible or guilty I would continue to feel the rest of my life, I know that back then I had to choose between his life…or mine.”

Again Sofia’s words left Balian contemplative, but soon he stood from his seat, walking next to Sofia. Noticing her to be staring at her hands, then opening her palm to examine it, and he found it also bore a scar…An eternal keepsake of the wound she'd gotten while defending herself against the man who'd threatened her life, had her palm cut…And while thinking this Sofia then saw it…The memory of what had happened in that room six years ago playing out in her head as if it had happened but yesterday...

_She fled. Jumping out of the bed as the sheets that had just been covering her were ripped in two when her master swung his broad saber towards her. Her running from him, shouting, pleading for mercy, calling for help…But none came._

_Hence she escaped him, toppling tables and trays of fruits over as tried to get to the door. But she was grabbed, jerked back from her hair and swung around with full force, until…Blood. Her own, flowing down from her temple she had hit on a corner of a statue as landed on the ground before a hand…A merciless, murderous hand grabbed her again, pulling her upright from her curls._

_She let out a small outcry of pain, tears streaming down her cheeks as she took hold of the fingers keeping her captive, gazing at the man before herself, who raised his weapon to strike. Her begging for God, Allah, to anyone to save her…But the blade rose, about to hit, until spooked by the gleam of the metal about to cleave into her she forced herself free. Some of her hair tearing off and staying in the man’s clenched hand once the blade cut through air, missing just barely as she ran again, stumbling over the bed. But she couldn’t escape, enraged growls trailing after her as the same hand grabbed her arm, dragging her back on the bed before throwing her onto the covers, the man pinning her down, her struggling furiously, crying even more._

_The sheets tangled around them during the chaotic scuffle, her desperately trying to avoid the sharp steel as it was stuck into the mattress in an attempt of impaling her. Her feeling her heart to burst out of her chest, fluttering for fear, cold fear as she pushed back her master’s too strong arms wielding the weapon, her somehow managing to kick him to his stomach. Her wiggling free from under him, about to rush out of the bed and the tangle of sheets, but firm fingers grasped her too quickly and brought her to a halt before she was slapped hard…The hit causing now her to tumble onto the floor._

_Her hair fell as a cloud over her face as her body met with the cold marble floor, her muscles aching for pain. But at the same moment she heard her master’s threatening footsteps close in on her she also detected a clang of metal close to her, and immediately her hand reached for the source of it just as the man’s did…Her then feeling a quick, sharp pain in her palm and she saw but red when the man crashed on top of her, his free hand trying to grasp her neck to choke her while his occupied one was about to take the fallen blade. But her own fingers had already circled around the hilt once like before the same hand fingers moved from her neck and claimed a fistful of her hair into their vice like hold, yanking her with it, where his other hand once more lunged in a flash to seize the weapon. With tears blurring her vision her then striking without a thought, in panic, next seeing even through the blur how red spot begun to grow on her master’s lower abdomen, his grip of her locks loosening and both of them fell, her starting to tremble in pure horror once she felt something wet to be pressed against her. The disgusting warm, red liquid staining her hands, dripping down onto her own torn clothes once it trickled from the blade currently imbedded into her attacker’s midriff, splattered only due to that single act of fear, as the doors of the bedroom were then forced open. Guards storming in, her hearing their outraged shouting only as a faint, faraway whisper, her eyes riddled with tears of shock and dread as she only stared at the puddle that was spreading onto the floor, under the man…Slowly seeping into her clothing and turning them as red as the white marble floor, her fingers still gripping to the handle of the saber…The eyes of the dead man staring blankly at her, bringing upon the terrified scream that then rang in the room once the man was pulled from on top of her and the blade slipped out, remaining in her hands._

“Sofia?” Balian called out in concern. All emotion to have drained from Sofia’s mien as she clearly was thinking about something unpleasant, something that had caused her fingers to clench into fists until Balian soon followed her to press that long scar on her left palm once more, which seemed to have been made by a blade. His heart lurching at the sight of it as he could only imagine the meaning of it, as well as the recollections this young woman was going through right now right in front of him. Him taking a step closer, but then she spoke again…her tone this time a little hushed like his had been when he’d told her about the baby.

“Was my desire to live wrong, my lord?” she questioned, looking at Balian tardily. “Should I have sacrificed my life to remain pure of any further sin?”

“No”, Balian said instantly, definitely, not even needing to think for his answer, as within him he knew it to be the only possible one. “Then you would've died. Your life is worth much more than his was.”

Sofia smiled when his sincere eyes looked into hers. “Then you shouldn’t either be so hard on yourself”, she prompted, in turn meeting suddenly confused Balian’s gaze after glancing away briefly. “God sees that you regret your actions. And if you say you have come to this land to repent and pay back the life you took…then you will be forgiven. Would God speak to you or not.”

Sofia now eyed at the murky lands in front of them, beckoning to it with a slight raise of her head. “This is your way of making amends, my lord. This land. Take care of it and make something good of it. Then…you shall be closer to become a perfect man.”

Sofia next stared down for a while thoughtfully, until turned to look at her lord once more, whose eyes also wandered a bit but ultimately locked with Sofia's, which were once more those kind and friendly, the same Balian had looked into back at the camp in France when he'd met the gaze of the veiled woman…And now he somehow felt even greater relief, it causing him to smile at her.

“Thank you”, he said, frankly. “Sofia.”

Sofia returned his smile, pushing her hair away from her face until then yawned, Balian's lips curving up even more.

“I am sorry. I leave you to sleep”, he said apologetically. “I came to talk and now we have talked.”

Sofia escorted her lord to the door, bowing to him before he opened the door.

“Good night, Sofia”, he said, smiling for the final time, Sofia what else than matching it with her own.

“Good night, my lord.”

* * *

“My lord you have 1,000 acres”, Almaric informed as he and Balian were walking through the estate first thing in the following morning, group of children running at their wake as they scoured the neglected property. Balian gazing around in deep ponders, greeting the people he came across with nods.

“…A 100 families. You have Christians, Jews, Muslims. You have 50 pairs of oxen”, Almaric continued, Balian ambling past two palm trees, stopping at the sound of his knight’s following remark which least to say, sounded a bit dismissive. “This is a poor, dusty place.”

Balian made a sideways nod as thought a moment again, soon turning and noticing Almaric to be staring at him in expectant manner while took support from the trunk of a palm tree. “What we do not have…” Balian stated, at first glancing at the sky before kicked the dried up ground with the tip of his boot “…is water.”

Almaric also nodded in concur, Balian then sparing one more moment for his musings, until got into action. They had to start the work at some point, arduous or not.

“Gather all the men and others capable of helping with the digging”, Balian ordered, passing Almaric. “We have to delve these lands inside out in hopes of finding even a small water source.”

But it was then when Darcy’s barking cut the air, Balian halting to gaze towards the house where he now saw many women to be walking down the hill, each carrying big jars in their hands, and Sofia was one of them. Balian recalling their somewhat unorthodox conversation from last night and turned pensive again...What could’ve she been thinking about what they’d discussed? Learned of each other?

But he then ignored such notions, with the aid of his knights and many inhabitants of Ibelin getting to work, and around midday close to every corner of his lands at the manor’s vicinity were filled with digging men searching for water. And after yet another hour had passed Balian’s own excavation was interrupted by another familiar bark, him pausing to raise his gaze from his pick at work. To witness the women to have returned with the water they'd gone to fetch from the faraway well that morning. And like many others Sofia carried one of those heavy jars upon her head, supported by her hands as Darcy kept on barking, running at her feet. Balian squinting his eyes for amusement as saw Sofia to try to shoo him off, her balance wavering as she almost tripped onto the animal. That dog sure seemed to follow her wherever she went.

Sofia reached the top of the hill and with a tired sigh she took a solid hold of the heavy jar, placing it on the ground before dropped down the robe from her head, fanning herself with it. It was so hot. And if the weather would continue to be this torrid and they would fail to find any water within the following days, there was no chance of life in here. Fetching water from so far away…It was an impossible task to execute several times a day in addition to all the housework.

 **“Sofia, bring the jar to the kitchen and then go give some water to the men. Our lord must be growing weary under this sun without a drink!”** Zuleika's voice exclaimed then, the woman soon arriving by Sofia's side smiling, nodding towards Balian whom Sofia now spotted amidst the working men, busy hacking the ground with the rest…As if he weren't a lord at all, but instead willingly got his hands dirty for the sake of others...For the sake of the people living now under his protection.

Sofia smiled too, nodding. **“I shall.”**

* * *

Balian wiped his forehead as finally allowed himself a small break. A man instantly coming over to him to volunteer to take his place, and Balian let him, releasing a tired breath as climbed out of the pit he’d been working on, next only walking about a little. Watching his men at work. They had yet found nothing, this disheartening thought causing him soon to sigh as his eyes peered at the countless digging figures spread about the nearby estate, until then his attention was this time drawn not by a bark, but laughing of the children.

He turned to see the said group of children trailing behind Sofia who was carrying a tray of fruit, the children extending their hands towards it to have a piece. Sofia talking to them in Arabic, clearly scolding them, as well trying to shoo them off gently.

 **“These are for our lord, not you! No go on, back to your jobs all of you!”** she urged but the children only whined. Giving her sour looks in response, Sofia next sighing and coming to a halt, nevertheless soon breaking into a smile. And with a shake of her head she relented to give half of the fruit to the children, them letting out excited yells this time after receiving their respective spoil.

**“That is all you’re going to get from me. Now go on, before it is you who’ll get into trouble by taking our lord’s refreshments!”**

The children left running, Sofia sending that same kind of a look after them Balian had seen a glimpse of back at Jerusalem the day they'd arrived there. But his observation was then interfered as Sofia’s eyes found him, her walking over to him, curtsying a little as came to a stop now in fornt of him. Her presenting the tray to him.

“I thought this might help to recover from exhaustion at least a little, my lord. I am sorry I got a little taxed along the way”, Sofia said apologetically but smiled, looking at the boys again who'd gone back to their fathers to assist in digging, munching on their fruit. Balian smiling as well as took a piece for himself.

“It is fine. They need the strength themselves”, he answered, tasting the fruit. It was sweet, reminding him of the one called melon he’d sampled back at his other residence. But he had no clue what it was.

“Have you found anything?” Sofia inquired, Balian gazing at the digging men again and his smile was replaced with a worried frown.

“No. It seems if we wish to find anything, we have to dig much deeper”, he stated, frustrated, Sofia giving him a brief uneasy look before she nodded in understanding.

Suddenly both of them got surprised as someone bumped against Balian, causing him to stagger, Balian turning a little to see a girl to be hiding behind him. Eyeing at Darcy who was running down the hill towards them, the girl gasping and fled, running around Balian and Sofia, Darcy following her.

 **“Darcy sit!”** Sofia ordered a bit angrily, the dog seizing immediately and dropped into a sitting position. Sofia sighing at him. “Scaring a child like that…”

Balian watched as Sofia scooped the girl into her arms, her smile then the sweetest it had ever been as she eyed at the little girl, as Balian then came to realize, rather tenderly.

“ **What is the matter? Do you fear Darcy?”** she asked, the girl nodding. Sofia sighing again, but her gaze was as gentle as was her voice. “ **You don’t have to be afraid of him. He is a good dog and most loyal when you get to know him.”**

“ **But he chases me when I run!”** the girl answered, sobbing. Sofia glancing at Balian.

 **“Well maybe that is exactly why he seems scary”,** Sofia continued **. “He doesn't mean any harm, but wants to play with you. Seeing you running makes him think it is a game and that you want to play with him, making him chase you wherever you go”** , Sofia explained, now looking at the dog who wagged his tail, eventually barking. The girl peeking at the spaniel.

 **“You want me to show you how kind he is?”** Sofia questioned, tilting her head at the girl, but the child looked hesitant. **“It is fine. You’ll be right here with me. I won't let him hurt you, alright? Let us try together.”**

Sofia now put the girl down and crouched behind her, the girl retreating immediately against the safety of her chest as Darcy stood, approaching them.

 **“It is alright. It is fine”,** Sofia soothed the girl and put an arm around her, then taking a hold of her other arm. **“There, let him smell your hand.”**

Balian saw the child's hand jerk back for fright but Sofia quelled her again, then extending her own to Darcy invitingly who whimpered and sniffed it, soon licking it, pushing his head against Sofia’s fingers to beg for petting. Sofia smiling upon the girl after curtly stroking the dog’s forehead.

 **“See? He’s completely safe and will protect you if you just trust him”** , she told her, now again taking a hold of the girl’s palm. **“Let us try again…”**

The girl did yank back her hand a tad once more, but in the end allowed Sofia to offer it to Darcy. And as a smart dog he understood the girl to fear him, laying down, putting his head on his paws and gazed up to her. And when her hand was near enough his head jerked just slightly up to lick her fingers.

The girl gasped. But after a moment of staring at the animal and as Darcy let out a new whimper, his tail now wagging furiously, the child then started to laugh. Darcy dashing to his feet to attack the girl, starting to lick her face, Sofia smiling at the pair upon standing up. Gazing at the child with the dog along with Balian until pushed her a bit, to send her on her way.

 **“Go and play together”** , she prompted, the girl smiling at her until ran off, Darcy following her again with happy barks. Sofia’s gaze but soft as it trailed after then, and there was now also something on her face that Balian had never seen before that moment…The smile she wore as well different, but he then started to smile as well…Not confronting Sofia about it.

“You are good with children”, he noted, surprising the young woman, who was snapped out of her thoughts. Sofia glancing at him until smiled again briefly.

“Mother’s instinct my lord”, she explained, this time glancing downward, taking a small pause before finished her sentence. “After all, God has given me three of my own.”

Balian was yet again surprised. “You have children, Sofia?” he questioned, bemused and he examined Sofia a little, her smile widening as she nodded.

“Yes. But they were taken from me. A woman in my position was not meant for motherhood”, Sofia continued after another small break, at this point turning somewhat longing. Balian feeling a sting in his chest as he then saw Sofia to gaze at the girl playing with Darcy, before her eyes next searched the vicinity and stopped to look at the other children. Suddenly all those odd looks and emotions Balian had laid witness in Sofia making sense…once he now knew her to have also lost her children. That they’d been taken away…Although he naturally understood why, simply for that reason him then frowning at this sad revelation, but on the second thought it reminded Balian for the fact that he wasn’t the only one scarred, in pain…Only one who had lost.

“So now very time I see a child in need or laughing, it fills me with that motherly warmth and devotion I never was allowed to show to my own daughters…So I try to make use of it with other children”, Sofia finished, her eyes then turning emotional by the memory and she sighed slightly.

Like last night a remembrance of an another passing instance flashed through her mind...The times she'd held her newborn babies in her arms, the immense sensation of happiness and love filling her once she’d looked upon her children, until the bitter moment when that bliss was always shattered once those ever too cruel arms came and removed the bundles from her lap without a chance for a proper goodbye. Sofia’s heart crying for the long since passed loss, but she shed no tears over it. Just stared at the children with such yearning that it would've made anyone watching her feel uncomfortable.

Balian gazed at Sofia silent, in compassion of his own, but then smiled again. “You had three girls?” he queried, Sofia’s smile now turning concurring. But Balian then detected sympathy in her irises as well as she faced him, her features now earnest.

“I am sorry for the loss of your child, my lord. That he wasn’t given a chance to be born”, she said sincerely, taking Balian aback, for it took a moment for him to recall him to have told her the reason behind his wife’s suicide, until then he realized not to have revealed the way the child had died…Therefore him appering but confused.

“How…did you know?” he questioned in awe, Sofia having a gentle look in her eyes as she now gazed at him, wrinkling her brows.

“From time to time, even before you told me, deep within your eyes I could see the same pain I once or twice was faced with”, she specified. “The pain of being robbed of your own child. And that pain was present only when you thought of your wife and hence…your son, my lord…Of whose fate I happened to hear your father mention during our journey to Messina.”

Balian didn’t know what to say or how to feel. But what he then thought like so many times before was that he had started to notice Sofia not to be all that different from him, sharing similar pains and sorrows…Same kind of cruel twists of fate that God had preferred to lay to their path, him exchanging a stare with Sofia, until soon saw her smile at him.

“Let us pray that both the Christian God and Allah will smile upon you and grant you with yet many sons, my lord.”

Balian let out a breath, returning her smile. “And I hope both shall smile upon you and give you many daughters as wise as you”, he said back, meaning it, since Sofia if who would deserve to be a mother. But Balian was then baffled as he followed Sofia’s smile to die, her turning only sad.

“No, my lord”, she started, serious. “Your prayer would go to waste. I shall never experience the joy of motherhood as I am. As my body is not mine to own, but it will belong to a man I serve till the end of my existence. I am not fit to live a life of an honest, virtuous woman. And would you want it or not, my lord, my body and soul are yours as they are God’s. As these lands before you, I am also yours.”

Balian was dumbfounded. Hadn’t they spoken about this last night? Sofia was again referring to herself as…his property. A man’s property. And he couldn’t but feel bad about that, and it even turned him slightly vexed within, but nevertheless he only stared at Sofia in disbelief…where she gazed back at him but calmly.

“Sofia…” he begun, but was cut off.

“The moment you put those shackles on me instead of killing me, I swore to serve you any way I am capable. Because of this oath there’ll never be a man to give me such a blessing as a child, my lord. So I thank you for your ever gracious kindness, but such future is impossible for me to obtain”, Sofia remarked, smiling now thankfully and nodded, but quickly looked away from him.

“Sofia…” Balian tried again, but this time he was interrupted by another woman, calling out to Sofia.

 **“Sofia! Come, we must prepare the supper for tonight!”** Zuleika’s strong voice exclaimed, Sofia turning to see the said woman stand on top of the hill, waving at her. Sofia sending her a smile.

“ **Yes, I’ll be there!”**

Sofia now smiled at Balian and bowed. “My lord.”

Balian hesitated but after all let Sofia leave, sighing. She still didn’t understand that in his eyes she was much more from what her past labeled her as, what she saw herself as? She didn’t…Or for some inconceivable reason refused to accept it. And that fact turned him then momentarily frustrated again as he understood their discussion from last night to have been for naught, his words to have not apparently managed to affect much on her view of herself.

“My lord, we found nothing from the northwest corner of the lands!” Almaric’s voice then called out, cutting his train of thought.

“Keep looking! We must find water from somewhere, and there has to be some here!” Balian answered, willingly getting back to work to drown his pestering ponders, reclaiming his spot from the man who'd covered for him during his break.

* * *

A whole month went by and they still didn't manage find any water to build a well, the ceaseless drought starting to turn into a more than a casual bother. Sofia and the other women of the estate still doing daily trips to the faraway wells, but as the climate seemed to turn all the time hotter, the water seemed to run out as quickly as they fetched it…For there was too little of it, everyone knew it. And it wasn’t only once or twice that someone fainted after the countless hours spent under the sun during the desperate search for any trace of subterranean moisture.

Every day for that month Balian aided his men with the digs, working from early hours to the last light of the day. Sofia working as hard by taking care of the household and doing her own part in preparing the food for the working men, but still mainly Balian’s as she was his personal servant after all. But even most of her time was spent within the mansion Balian often saw her walk among the labourers, sharing the small amount of water there was to be speared, or just working outside with other women from laundry to nursing the smallest children and animals. It really amazing him that someone who'd been born a princess could accommodate so easily into such a common life, doing every chore there was without any difficulties. And she never complained, but did all the tasks carefully and more often than not kept herself busy by immediately taking upon a new one, Balian finding her endless stamina downright unbelievable.

Balian was once more deepening one of the holes he and a couple of other men had dug in the ground, hacking the soil with all he had to fasten the progress. They were running out of time. If they wouldn’t find water during the next week that would pass, there probably was no hope of finding any. However simply bypassing that thought Balian now fully concentrated on working again, just as Sofia then approached him in middle of her usual tour of passing water to the men. Her summoning a boy she spotted nearby to her, giving him a water skin and pointed at Balian, telling him to offer a drink to their lord. The boy nodding and running straight to Balian whose focus was then indeed broken by a call in Arabic.

Sofia smiled slightly as saw the boy extend the flask to Balian who pulled the scarf down from his face, glancing at Sofia who then resumed her own task, handing another water skin to a man and his three sons to share. One of the sons seeming to eye at Sofia quite admirably, which Balian noticed as he came out of the hole to take a sip of the given water, his eyes wandering to Sofia, who instead wasn’t aware of the young man’s quite fascinated stare as was crouched down to fill another flask from the bucket she was carrying. Balian then eyeing at the lad, seeing his clear fascination and frowned in wonder at this discovery, until then followed his brother to give the said man a hinting grin. Hitting him on his arm as glanced down to Sofia.

But then suddenly the men’s father collapsed without a warning, falling on his knees due to exhaustion. Sofia just barely catching him, Balian quickly handing the flask back to the boy and hurried to take a hold of the man so that he wouldn't fall on Sofia. Sofia calling out to him in Arabic as they carefully placed him on the ground.

“Is he alright?” Balian wondered, glancing at Sofia who was examining the elderly man’s strained face until nodded.

“Yes. Just worn by the sun and lack of water. As everyone else here are too”, she answered, wiping her forehead as sighed, then opening her eyes and raised the man’s head, helping him drink slowly. Balian eyeing at her.

“Have you had any water?” he asked, now a bit suspiciously, as he had once or twice caught Sofia while she'd given her share of the water to the children. Sofia only giving him a slight glance without responding, Balian sighing in turn once he then turned, beckoning for the boy to come forth with the flask. Balian taking it and opened it, offering it to Sofia.

“Drink. I am ordering you to drink the rest of this”, he said, truly commanding tone in his voice, as Sofia gave him a slight disbelieving look until bowed her head. Resigned.

“Fine. Just leave it there, my lord. I shall drink it after I’ve helped this man”, she replied. But Balian frowned again and then looked up to the man’s sons, saying some words in Arabic he'd learnt from Sofia. Them nodding in consent, taking a hold of their father as Balian instead pulled Sofia to her feet and handed the flask to her, expectant look on his mien.

“Drink”, he repeated. “I'm not letting you out of my sight until I’ve seen you drink at least some of this.”

Sofia looked at her lord now even more incredulously, but then sighed again and next did glance at Balian a little amused as accepted the flask. Taking a swig from it, until then locked gazes with her lord, tilting her head.

“Satisfied, my lord?” she asked. Balian smiled.

“For now.”

All of a sudden a commotion erupted among the workers and children started to shout in excitement, now running towards the house. Balian seeing how Sofia’s face then brightened after she listened to the exclaims spoken in Arabic and she soon faced him with a delighted smile, Almaric also realizing what had finally occurred after weeks of wait.

“What is it?” Balian asked in bafflement, now also gazing to the direction where everyone were running, one of the children telling him to follow with excited waves of his arms as passed them.

“They have found water!” Sofia breathed, her smile widening for relief, surprising Balian as he met her gaze. “They have finally found water!”

Balian was as relieved, and but overjoyed by these news he then immediately turned around, taking a hold of Sofia’s hand and raced to the same direction as the children and the swarm of other running men, Almaric trailing their steps. But once they reached their destination Sofia after all stayed a bit farther where Balian made his way though the crowd that had already gathered around one of the deepest excavations, gazing down and indeed saw one of his knights and two other men stand there. Their pants moistened by the watered soil, a distinct puddle starting to form at their feet from the apparent vein they’d discovered. Smile spreading on Balian's lips at the gratifying sight.

“Right. Stone the walls”, he ordered, beckoning to the foundation of the new well as returned the men’s smiles, the people around the hole now throwing away their tools and moving onto the preparations of the well.

“ **Yallah**!”

“ **Yallah**!”

Balian sighed in satisfaction, his gaze now finding Sofia again who was still standing a little farther away from the pit, as well following the men as they ran about in their newly discovered hope after finding the much needed water source. Happiness taking over Balian and without thinking much he strode over to Sofia, who met his gaze but was then taken aback as Balian raised her up, spinning her around once.

“My lord?!” Sofia said questionably, maybe even a bit flustered look in her eyes, which only amused Balian and his smile spread into a grin.

“We have water”, he stated as set her down, his joy as evident in his voice as it was on his current expression. And after eyeing at him for a second Sofia then sighed and returned his smile, surprisingly placing her hands on Balian’s arms briefly which still were stationed on her waist.

“We have water”, she agreed, shaking her head incredulously. “Thanks to you, my lord.”

* * *

It took three more days of hard labor for the well to be finished. And what anymore remained was building a chute to carry the water to the farther lands to water them and the already existing fields, to make them easier to farm and turn them back to verdant. Sofia once again circling amongst the men sharing water now taken straight out of their very own supply as they worked with the watering system, cutting down palm trees before splitting them, molding the insides to a more ideal shape before finally carrying the trunks to the support beams. As a finishing touch tying the pieces of trunks together with ropes to finish the construct.

Balian was helping a handful of men to tie another part of the chute once Sofia finally made her way to him, raising a flask. Balian greeting her with a curt smile before let Sofia pour the water in his mouth now that his hands were occupied holding up the piece of trunk. Him gulping down the water greedily until Sofia took back the flask, earning another smile from Balian.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it, my lord.”

The next day Balian walked under the wheel that had been crafted earlier that morning, meant to ferry the water from the well to the desired direction, down and all the way to the built chute as a crucial part of the watering system. The extensive set of chutes to have been finished after another day’s work and now it was only to be tested whether the already joiny ones would carry the water as planned, Balian feeling some water to spill from the wheel and fall on his shoulders from above as he then waved his hands, ordering the men waiting for his command to release the water in Arabic. And soon right according to the plan the water begun to run along the chute, smiles creeping on many faces as the men pushed their hands into the stream that cascaded from the wheel before flowing along the string of chutes across the yard, children shouting in joy and rushed over, one of them placing a wooden boat to drift down with the running water. The system working perfectly.

Sofia instead was busy placing a few more rocks around the support beams with the other women, to make sure the construct would hold, listening to the joyous screams of the children and the rush of water above her head as it made its way towards the more distant part of the lands. Her now noticing the boat to drift by, smile rising on her lips too as she turned to watch it sail down the chute until it vanished. Her sighing, until let out a silent groan once straightened her stiffened back, her body to have not taken the previous act of laying those heavy rocks kindly.

“Sofia.”

Sofia gasped for fright as she suddenly heard Balian’s voice behind her and she turned, only to meet his concerned eyes.

“Go back to the house and take a bath. You haven’t rested at all since daybreak”, he continued, then smiling and nodding towards the house. “There’s nothing for you to do any more today as the well and the chutes have both been finished. Go to your room and sleep. I give you the permission before you say anything against it.”

Sofia was a bit surprised, but she then sighed, truly finding herself tired. And a bath didn’t sound bad either as she felt herself so dusty and sweaty, but glad of a chance to wash all that filth off her…However despite of that not being able to resist a chance to tease the man.

“Am I that dirty to look at?” she inquired, causing Balian to smile and he now aspired to look thoughtful as examined her.

“A little.”

“Same could be said of you, my lord.”

Balian’s smile widened for amusement as he now gazed at his own overall wet and sweaty exterior, his person as well covered in dust and sand. But submitting Sofia then curtsied to him.

“Thank you, my lord”, she said, truly thankful. And after a small smile she gathered her dirty hem and climbed up the low hill, Balian following her with his gaze until went back to work.

* * *

Sofia let out a satisfied sigh as raised her leg from the water, watching the droplets to trickle along her skin until brought her leg back down. It truly felt like heaven to have all that dirt washed off of her which seemed to have only gathered for days, even though she'd taken a bath but last evening before going to bed. But after one short moment more of laying under the water she then gave up to the reality and stood, the water sliding along her body and falling into the tub creating the soothing sound vaguely reminiscent of rain once she stepped out and the clinging droplets shovered everywhere, Sofia taking the towel and proceeded to pat her hair dry. Yes, she felt clean again. Another satisfied sigh escaping her lips at the thought.

Sofia then took a clean dress from the table where she'd left it and dressed herself, going over to the balcony. Once outside her finding the yard to be still bustling with movement due to the men having at it with the watering system, who by now were starting to finish constructing the rest of it, while some of them had begun to prepare to plant a new harvest to the nearest fields already watered by the system. After a moment of searching her seeing a glimpse of her lord, busy helping to hoist another water wheel with several other men, to see the damage of it, the sign causing her to smile. Her lord was a good man, no matter what he thought of himself. Sofia had seen it…and saw it more day by day the more time she spent under the same roof as him.

But then Sofia detected a gallop of approaching horses. And as she turned her gaze on her right, she indeed saw a group of riders to canter towards the worksite along the road that lead to Balian’s residence. Two veiled forms riding at the front, most likely women by the look of their clothes, and behind them Sofia saw a group of several guards armed with spears, after a quick inspection her quickly recognizing this group as a royal escort. So having an inkling of the arrived guest Sofia walked to the rail in interest, following how the caravan came to a halt at the outskirts of the worksite just as Balian walked forth to greet them. Other of the women sitting mounted at the head of the party, one wearing a black turban then revealing her face to the surprised baron, and even from such a distance away Sofia knew that woman to be indeed Sibylla.

Sofia was surprised herself as she watched Balian to exchange a couple of words with the princess, then nodding and stepped away as waved to Latif, apparently for the main male servant to escort the guests to the house. Sofia following the group of horsemen as they turned and started to ride towards the residence after Sibylla. Was the princess staying here for a while? But she doon got her answer as it didn’t take long until Zuleika raced into her room and came to the balcony, waving at Sofia to follow.

“ **Sofia you must come!** ” she exclaimed breathlessly. “ **You must come down now! The princess…Her highness princess Sibylla has arrived and is staying as our lord’s guest!** ”

Sofia sighed. So much for the rest her lord had promised her…Her then smiling and nodding in understanding.

“ **Alright, I’ll be right down**.”

“ **Hurry! She’s already at the entrance!”**

Sofia took in a deep breath and turned, walking in to grab her robe and put it over her dress, covering the still wet hair under it and left the room. But she hadn’t noticed before how Balian’s eyes had peered up to her standing form on the balcony, until she'd vanished behind the rail.

* * *

The princess had greeted Sofia with a smile a she immediately had come down to welcome Sibylla and her maids, Latif taking responsibility in making sure the women’s belongings were brought up to their rooms, as Sofia was left to escort the princess inside. Leading her through the house to the outer balcony, and there Sibylla sat down under the canopy, now removing her turban, her long hair cascading down onto her shoulders. Sofia curtsying.

“Do you wish me to bring you something, my lady?” she asked. Sibylla smiling, nodding.

“I’d very much like to have something cool to drink. The ride here was long and beyond exhausting in this weather”, she answered. Sofia nodded, about to go ask Zuleika to prepare the requested drink for the princess, her maids and the guards that had accompanied them. But Sibylla stopped her.

“Sofia?” she called, Sofia turning and bowing as faced her. Sibylla smiling again at her mannerisms, until her eyes then shifted to observe the crowd of men at the worksite.

“How long you till you think your lord shall retire for the day?” she questioned, looking at Sofia questionably. Sofia smiling.

“My lord shall probably work till nightfall, my lady”, she replied. “He has done so for weeks, stopping only for nights to rest.”

Sibylla now had a quite measuring expression in her light eyes. But soon she simply smiled, turning curious. “How have you found Ibelin, Sofia?” she inquired, also removing her heavy riding cloak, revealing a pearl embroidered, bronze colored dress underneath. Sofia walking over to her and extended her arms towards the garment, Sibylla nodding her thanks as handed it to Sofia.

“Ibelin is a very beautiful place to live, my lady”, Sofia remarked. “I consider myself lucky to be able to serve my lord in this house. To be able to be part of its life.”

“Yes, I can understand that…” Sibylla answered, her voice somehow a bit longing, her looking away from Sofia. But then as Sofia bowed again and was about to leave once more, Sibylla’s eyes flickered back to her.

“It’s Sibylla!” she reminded, Sofia stopping momentarily, and the princess smiled at her now politely. “As I said to your lord I am simply Sibylla among friends…And since I hear even my brother finds you a potential partner in discourse, I hope I could be your friend as well, Sofia…and enjoy such a conversation with you sometimes. So just Sibylla, please.”

Sofia returned the princess’ gaze for a moment surprised until nodded with a smile, curtsying once more. “Very well. As you wish, my lady Sibylla. I shall send someone to bring word to my lord that you wish to speak with him right after he has finished with his work.”

Sibylla nodded in consent. But then they heard footsteps near the terrace and soon saw Balian emerge from the doorway, dressed into clean clothes after a quick bath for him to look formal enough to welcome his houseguest. But he froze due to the sight of Sofia, holding Sibylla’s clothes and looking back at him as surprised.

“Sofia?” Balian stated questionable. “Why are you…?”

“Sofia was kind enough to personally take care of me”, Sibylla cut in, looking at Balian, and Sofia saw that same kind of flicker of interest in her eyes as they met her lord’s. The princess smiling at him, but Balian then directed a glance at Sofia again, where she only curtsied now to Balian.

“My lord, I was just about to leave to take lady Sibylla’s clothes to her room and go ask Zuleika to bring her some refreshments. Shall I request some food and a drink for you as well?” Sofia asked, looking at Balian who gasped out of his thoughts until nodded stiffly.

“Please do”, he agreed, Sofia nodding.

“Excuse me.”

Balian cast an incredulous look after Sofia. He'd told her to go rest but here she was, serving the princess although she herself was one, and should’ve been sleeping soundly upstairs…She was impossible.

“So, my lord, have _you_ been taken by the charm of Ibelin?” Sibylla then spoke up, leaning back in her chair and giving Balian a type of a look that he couldn't quite understand, but which made him a bit uncomfortable. But he nodded in concur, approaching the princess and sat on a chair across from hers.

“Yes”, he answered simply, Sibylla’s smile widening.

“I see you have begun to revive this arid land”, she noted, glancing over the rail at the construct she could see to be worked on by the men. “You seem to have been building the watering system…I am sorry to be taking your time and disrupting you while at work, my lord.”

Balian smiled politely. “It is alright.”

* * *

“One for lord Balian as well?” Zuleika asked. Now surprisingly using the tongue of their lord, perhaps reminiscent of the time Godfrey had lived here as her master, as looked at Sofia from the chicken she had been preparing for supper. Sofia nodding.

“Yes, our lord took a break from working and joined her highness at the terrace”, she answered. Zuleika nodded in turn, putting away the chicken and wiped her hands.

“Alright. Wait a moment”, she said back, walking into the room that was used as storage where Sofia manned the pot that had been left at the hearth, stirring the vegetable stew inside it. But just as Zuleika came back holding a basket of lemons, one of her sons stumbled inside in haste, freezing on his spot at the sight of his mother.

“ **What are you doing here? Weren’t you and your brothers supposed to be out herding the sheep?”** Zuleika’s a bit sharp voice asked as she gazed at her son, gauging at him. Sofia raising her gaze from the stew she'd been now sampling for taste, seeing the boy to gasp for breath due to the running he must’ve undergone to reach the kitchen in his hurry.

“ **The herd got scattered…** ” Ismael panted. “ **We… managed to find the others…but… five of them are…still missing!”**

The two women exchanged a look with each other until Zuleika put the basket on the table, raising her arms in outrage.

“ **Just like your father you three are!”** Zuleika breathed, then giving Ismael a scolding look. “ **You oldest brother is already a young man, and still you could not keep the herd together and allowed five of the sheep to escape? Allah, save me!”**

 **“Have they gone far**?” Sofia asked, looking at Ismael. The boy shaking his head, getting over his abashment.

 **“No. We lost them on our way back to the manor”,** he answered, Zuleika sighing.

 **“Well, at least they won’t hopefully venture too far after being separated from the main herd. _Hopefully_ ”, **she said, thinking a moment. **“Go tell Latif and ask him to gather a couple of the older boys to go and search the lost lambs and bring them back. They can’t be left to wander about for a night in the desert.”**

 **“I shall go as well** ”, Sofia said then, surprising Zuleika and she gave the younger woman a look of disbelief.

“ **But you cannot Sofia! You have our lord and her highness to serve!”** she objected, but Sofia only smiled at her persuasively.

 **“Our lord has given me the permission to rest for the remaining of the day if that is what I wish** ”, Sofia explained, her gaze visiting Ismael again. **“Besides I told our lord to ask you to prepare the drinks. You can work in my stead this one evening, can you? In return I can take over the laundry duty tomorrow.”**

Zuleika stared at Sofia until sighed again, then smiling mysteriously. **“Alright, I accept. But could there be a reason why you wish to avoid serving her highness and our lord?** ” she asked then, now her eyes looking somewhat mischievous as they studied the young woman. But Sofia was only confused.

“ **What do you speak of, Zuleika?”**

“ **Nothing, nothing! But bear this in mind when I tell you... Relationships between servants and their lords have never ended well. Remember that, Sofia**.”

Sofia truly was nonplussed by the woman's insinuations, but she then said nothing as shook her head at her advice before smiled at Ismael, ushering him towards the door that led into the manor. **“Go find Latif and do what your mother told you. I’ll come right after you.”**

And so Ismael ran out again, Sofia giving Zuleika one more smile before also left out of the kitchen, the seekers of the lost sheep departing about ten minutes later, including Sofia, Ismael, his brothers and three other men and their eldest sons.

* * *

Balian was eyeing at dining Sibylla an amused smile curving up his lips. Him finding it very peculiar that for a woman who'd been raised to embrace utmost etiquette and manners, she was now sitting there with all the usual royal composure gone. Eating till she was full, not turning up her nose to anything and was completely relaxed and unreserved while in his company. It to be already much later a evening and Balian was once more at the balcony with Sibylla enjoying dinner, although after receiving her that afternoon he'd returned back to work for the rest of the day once she'd retired to her bestowed rooms to refresh herself.

Sibylla licked her fingers and took notice of his stare, giving him an odd look until then smiled in amusement herself, shaking her head a bit as eyed at her host quizzically. “What?”

“It seems years since I’ve seen a woman eat”, Balian responded truthfully, looking down briefly.

“Truly?” she questioned, giving Balian another curious look from under her lashes, mirth in her irises as well until she looked down also, thinking a moment. “I was watching you today. You’ve been given a patch of dirt and it seems…” She kept a break, smiling then.”…you will build a new Jerusalem here.”

Balian looked quite indifferent by this remark as thought about his so far achievements, but he was still smiling as replied matter-of-factly. “It is my land. Who would I be if I did not try to make it better?”

Sibylla examined him for a moment a hint of smile on her lips, but then looked down again, them sitting in silence for a while. But next their attention was drawn to the sudden loud, alarmed shouts coming from the yard. Balian frowning and he left his seat, walking to the rail to see men and a handful of his knights to run away from the house to receive a group of people currently entering through the gates. The servants continuing to shout hastily in Arabic and Balian could make out some words that told him someone to have been hurt.

“What is wrong?” Sibylla queried, arriving next to Balian with a couple of strides, both of them gazing down at the prevalent commotion until then Balian saw Latif to wave at him. Soon after another servant boy running to the terrace.

“My lord, you come must!” the boy exclaimed, his use of his tongue although stammering still having a frantic edge to it that told Balian something alarming to have occurred. The boy as well beckoning to Balian to come along, who frowned even deeper for wonder.

“What has happened?” he asked, but didn’t get an answer as the boy waved again, furiously, now more frightened outcries erupting from several lips down at the front of the house, and at the sound of them Balian rushed after the boy who led him straight to the courtyard. Him now finding his servants to have all gathered outside to aid five men and three boys who were carrying badly injured Muslims, women and children mostly. Balian walking out of the manor in dismay, listening to his servants shout out in Arabic, before they begun to treat the wounds of the wounded in middle of that small disarray that had erupted. But Balian was then shocked as he saw Sofia run to the yard as last of the comers, all covered in blood. But it wasn’t hers, as he then noticed her to be holding a small child around two years old in her arms, while she as well was shouting in Arabic. Distraught, near tears as she glanced at the many people at the courtyard while squeezed the child into her embrace.

 **“Please! Where can I put her? She’s dying!”** she screamed, Balian not understanding anything that was happening and he turned to Zuleika who now walked forth from a little farther away after inspecting a certain boy’s wounds.

“What happened?” Balian demanded again now from her, sternly, Zuleika looking but sad.

“Crusaders, my lord”, she specified, shocking Balian even more with her following words. “They attacked a caravan of a traveling family and killed all the men. Only women and their children managed to escape before they were also slain.”

Balian's eyes snapped back to Sofia as her pleading voice shouted something again in a greater panic, until he then saw Zuleika to turn pale. The woman looking down in dismay, in pity, upset herself.

“What is it?” Balian inquired. “What is she saying?”

“It seems…that is Sofia’s daughter, my lord”, she revealed, even more sadly. “It seems her daughter was amongst the people traveling with the family.”

Balian’s eyes widened and he turned to stare at Sofia and the small girl in her arms, his focus then shifting fully on the injured child. Sofia’s daughter? How could that be? But he then gasped as Sofia’s desperate, wandering eyes found him and she ran over to him, crying.

“Where can I put her?” she asked, breathing heavily, panic written all over her features, terror in her voice. Balian hesitating at first due to his bewilderment, but Sofia then wrinkled her forehead and looked at him pleadingly. More tears welling up as she glanced down at the limp, bloody body of her child.

“Where can I put her?!” she asked again, even more panicked if that was even possible. “My lord please! Quickly, I have to treat her before she…!”

Sofia’s voice broke as she then suffocated a sob, staring at Balian who stared back at her until nodded, Latif arriving and was about to walk Sofia into the servants' quarters. But Balian stopped him.

“Come”, he urged Sofia gently, instead ordering Latif to make sure every woman and child were brought inside the house to be treated, where he took care of Sofia himself. Balian leading her inside the manor with a firm hand propped against her back, them half running to upstairs as they headed towards one of the still unoccupied quest bedrooms, Sibylla happening to walk around the corner at the same moment to spot them. The sight of bloodied Sofia clutching to a wounded child shocking her as well, and upon coming to a taken aback halt she had just enough time to see them enter through the room Balian opened for them. Him sending a worried look after her until his eyes now in turn spotted Sibylla, Zuleika and two other women rushing past him inside the room. Carrying water and other equipment for treatment.

“Is everything alright?” Sibylla asked. But Balian didn’t answer and just looked into the room, hearing Sofia’s silent outcries and pleads in Arabic for the small girl to fight for her life, as she, Zuleika and two others were now working in hurry to save the child's life.

“My lord?” Sibylla called.

Balian sighed. But Zuleika now came to the door, bowing to her lord, leveling an apologetic look at him.

“Forgive me, my lord”, she said, closing the door, Balian being then able to only hear weak sobs and muffled conversation from within the room. Him sighing again…Sofia’s daughter was dying…Could it be true?

“I heard one of the servants shout in the yard”, Sibylla stated, walking closer and coming to Balian, glancing at the door. “Is that small girl dying from a crusader attack on a Saracen traveling party?”

Balian nodded briskly. “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Name translations: Ismael (God listens)


	11. Kalilah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phrases written in bold; Arabic  
> Phrases written in italics; thoughts, memories, quotes

It had already darkened but Balian was still standing at the terrace about three hours after joining Sibylla there for dinner, witnessing how the servants had returned from finding the lost sheep…Only to bring back injured women and children. And Sofia…had found her daughter.

Not long ago Balian had paid a visit to the room her daughter had been placed in, and while at the door he hadn’t heard anything from within. Not even crying, everything to have turned as silent as the grave within the whole house, which could’ve been a good sign which meant the girl to have survived. But still that deeper than death silence unnerved Balian once he'd eventually knocked lightly and entered, finding Sofia and Zuleika to be the sole ones in the room with the girl, who now was sleeping in the bed fully bandaged and cared for…Indeed alive, but only barely so.

Darcy was there as well of course, at Sofia’s feet and raised his head once he saw Balian enter. But instantly at the sight of him he then jumped up and growled at him, surprising Balian, and the man eyed at the dog in puzzlement once Darcy next crouched. Revealing his teeth as if to tell Balian to stay away, seeming like protecting Sofia and the girl in the bed who shared her scent. But Zuleika deterred him with a hard scowl.

“ **Stop it! It is only our lord!”** she said, Darcy gasping at her tone and did calm down. But even the woman’s snappish words didn’t stop him from leveling a type of a glare that even animals mastered at Balian, now rounding the bed and jumped on it, laying next to the girl onto the covers. Placing his muzzle on her stomach. Zuleika instead looking up to Balian and bowed her head, but the usually so cheerful woman did not smile this time.

“My lord”, she greeted, soon shifting her attention back to Sofia’s skin she was finally cleaning from the girl’s blood. Sofia not moving a single muscle to acknowledge her lord to have entered, which Balian noted in pity. Seeing clearly that she was still in great shock, just sitting by her daughter, staring at her with eyes that showed nothing but fear and sadness. Zuleika drenching the cloth in her hand once more and wiped Sofia’s cheek clean, until was finished and dropped the rag back into the bowl with a sigh. Her then smoothing Sofia’s chin a little as smiled at her softly, although rather faintly.

 **“It is alright to stay, but make sure to change your clothes**. **I’ll have Ismael to bring a clean dress from your room.”**

Balian saw Sofia to move for the first time by nodding, however not responding. Zuleika smiling once more until stood, bowing her head to Balian for the second time before raised the bowl of bloodied water from the floor and left the room, woeful look on her mien. Zuleika sighing again after she'd closed the door before gave it an equally plaintive look, compassion tugging at her heartstrings.

Close to immediately after Sofia had arrived to Ibelin with lord Balian, Zuleika had started to more and more consider the young woman as a daughter she never had yet had, the girl to have taken the woman over with her upbeat personality that made it easy for Zuleika to quickly consider her as close as family, for frankly speaking Sofia had a way with her to reel people in with her charm…And as a mother herself she could very well imagine how helpless and horrified Sofia probably felt at the moment. Anyone could see it by only looking into her eyes, which usually were but gentle and vivid with joy…and now consumed by mere dread, tainted with inconsolable grief.

After Zuleika left the room was again completely silent. Balian hearing only the sound of the wind blowing in, as warm as ever, but this time the space didn't smell like flowers or incense but of blood, its coppery stench clinging to every inch of the room regardless of the balcony doors letting in the fresh, evening air. Balian examining Sofia who still didn’t turn to him, but kept on staring at the small girl who seemed to drown into the huge bed. Him now walking forward and noticing the girl to have thick layers of cloth wrapped around her neck and arms, another one peeking from under the sheets, covering her tiny chest, Balian next but frowning for sorrow to see such a small child this badly hurt. Who could harm an innocent girl? He was disgusted.

“How is she?” he inquired, eventually breaking the silence, coming to a halt behind Sofia who was smoothing the girl’s curls. Her gaze now dropping and she let out a suppressed, broken breath. Closing her eyes.

“She has lost a lot of blood”, she stated miserably, but still with a voice that told Balian her to have had time to come to accept the gravity of the situation…Which still didn't erase the sadness that very daunting reality brought for her. “And even she is alive her pulse is weak…I…I don’t know will she live…”

Sofia sucked in a dour breath, releasing it immediately, trying to stay calm and not to start to cry again. Balian leveling a sorry look at both her and her daughter as Sofia then sighed, again staring at the child in a reminiscent reverie.

“Are you wondering how can I know this child to be mine, after I told you my daughters were taken away from me right after birth?” Sofia then asked, Balian not answering, but she'd nevertheless been right. Balian to have indeed wondered about that fact and hence now curious he next pulled himself a chair, joining her by the bedside.

“How do you know?” he queried. Sofia smiling sadly, however not looking at him as she then raised the covers and moved some of the bandages aside, just enough to reveal a distinct birthmark on the girl’s chest to Balian, right above the heart.

“This mark was the first thing I saw when she was born”, Sofia explained, despondent, now caressing the birthmark with the tip of her finger. “I would recognize it everywhere, because it is just like mine. I have a birthmark like this on my chest…And when we came upon what was left of the attacked caravan and I found her from amongst the bodies…this mark is what I also saw first, and I knew…I knew it was my little girl laying there bleeding. Dying.”

One stray tear did then trickle down Sofia’s cheek but she pulled herself together, closing her eyes briefly once more, while Balian now eyed at the sleeping girl. She was very pale, and her hardly rising chest told of a very bad condition, Balian being able to see the seriousness of the situation himself by only looking at Sofia who could barely stay calm. Her thinking a moment then until soon let out a sad laugh, gazing at the girl, that same emotion softening her eyes that Balian had seen a glimpse of once or twice, and which he could now associate to something rather obvious when he thought back to all the times he’d seen Sofia with children…Love of a mother. And now finally being able to put a name to that mysterious sentiment, he was saddened himself at the sound of her following remark.

“And isn’t it said that a mother will always recognize her child no matter the time that has passed?” she questioned, smiling, but her voice did then fail her. Despite of the gladdening notion of her to have recovered her lost child, she was understandably everything but happy. Balian therefore saying nothing but simply listened as she then continued to speak, such tenderness in both her voice and countenance that it made Balian to see her in close to a whole new light. This unfortunate occurrence to have revealed a side of her he’d had no inkling of existing until that day.

“I’ve been singing to her”, Sofia mused, letting out another sad laugh, but which was more like a joyless breath. “The same song I sang to her when I hold her in my arms for the first time. But even if she would hear me, I reckon she would not remember…She was after all so small that I don’t think she would even remember me…Or know who I am.”

Balian looked at Sofia compassionately as now yet another shaky breath left her lips, her placing a hand over her lips momentarily, managing to hold the tears in as she closed her eyes again to calm herself a bit. But then there was a new knock coming from the door and Balian saw the said boy of Zuleika’s to walk in, bowing to his lord.

“ **My mother sent me to bring Sofia a change of clothes”,** Ismael said, Balian nodding upon seeing the clothing in his hands. Receiving them in Sofia's stead with this time a thankful nod.

“ **Thank you**.”

The boy left after bowing for the second time, Balian now glancing at the dress before placed it on the bed, Sofia giving it a passing glance.

“I am sorry my lord but…I cannot come and serve you tonight”, she said then out of blue, changing the subject along with her voice which had become more solemn...However still not fully masking her distress. “Zuleika has promised to take over my duties as long as…I can’t leave her if at any moment she’ll…”

A sigh slipped from Balian’s lips in turn as he watched Sofia's shoulders to fall, for a quiet sob possibly. But knowing himself it to be better to relieve Sofia from any further burden, he only looked at her in concur. Agreeing with her.

“I understand”, he replied, offering a small smile to the young woman. “Of course you shall stay. It is alright.”

Sofia nodded. “Thank you, my lord.”

Again utter silence fell upon them, Sofia's attention moving back to her daughter. But after a few minutes of quiet a certain question sprung into Balian’s mind, the corners of his mouth rising slightly.

“What is her name?” he asked, surprising Sofia. But soon she smiled but warmly, finally casting him a glance, even if merely a fleeting one.

“Kalilah”, she told him. “That’s the name I decided upon after she was born. But I don’t know with what name she’s been called these past two years…”

Balian nodded, then soon again smiling. “What does it mean?”

Sofia raised her eyes. “Sweetheart. In Arabic.”

“That’s a beautiful name.”

Balian took a moment to eye at Sofia’s bloody dress, which once had been pure white but which had been completely soiled and now looked brownish due to all the dried blood splatters. Him wrinkling his brows at this, soon placing a hand on Sofia’s left arm that rested on her lap.

“You should wash the rest of the blood off”, he urged, to have spotted more smears under the collar of her dress and elsewhere Zuleika hadn’t gotten around cleaning yet. “Go to your room and change after bathing.”

“No”, Sofia replied, her voice now rising a bit and she shook her head briskly. “No, I won’t leave her.”

Balian frowned. “Sofia…”

“I will not leave her!” Sofia repeated decisively, exclaiming even, and surprising Balian so much with her vehement reply that he retreated away from her a little. Sofia then hesitating, second-guessing her just expressed impetuosity until sighed.

“Forgive me. But please understand, my lord”, she continued with normal voice this time, looking up to Balian. “If this is the last and only night I shall have with my daughter, then I will not waive it by leaving her. I cannot leave. Because if she dies and I am not here…then what kind of mother am I? No, I already abandoned her once. My heart cannot take it should I do it again.”

Balian was staring into Sofia’s so emotional eyes that it actually hurt him to return their gaze. Her pain so immense that…it naturally caused him to think about his own child and realize himself to have felt like this too. So he understood, but still only frowned again in compassion.

“My lord…” Sofia said then more quietly, briefly looking down. “Please. Leave me with my Kalilah, and go and rest yourself. My troubles should not keep you awake and make you weary.”

After saying that Sofia turned away, her eyes fixating to small Kalilah, Balian not knowing what to say but he then simply sighed in his loss of words. Standing up, nonetheless still setting his hands briefly on Sofia’s shoulders.

“Just tell me if you need anything”, he prompted, Sofia nodding curtly. Balian then heading straight for the door, casting one more look at Sofia before did as she asked, leaving her with Kalilah. But right after he'd closed the door he could hear Sofia’s voice start to hum a song, probably a lullaby. Balian soon finding himself enraptured by it even he couldn't understand a word, but as he leant on the wall and stood there for a few seconds listening to the foreign verses it didn’t take long until Sofia’s singing turned into sobs and then plain crying. Balian casting his eyes down, in pity that tore through his chest, but regardless of the voice within that urged him to offer his comfort he then just walked over to his own quarters. Zuleika however coming to sight from the stairs at the same time and leveled a bit questionable gaze at her lord, once the man halted at the door assuming from Balian’s sad features Sofia not to be any better.

“Make sure Sofia has a bath and a change of clothes before she goes to sleep”, Balian instructed the woman, who nodded but then sighed, directing a new rueful glance at the sick-room.

“If that poor girl will even have a wink of sleep this night…” she mumbled to herself, but however nodded in consent and approached Kalilah’s room, going inside. With a heavy heart Balian returning to his own rooms, ambling all the way back to the balcony, staring over the rail as long as the first stars lit up to the black canvas above him a couple of hours later. Once his anxiety didn’t seem to give him a moment’s peace him deciding to go check on Sofia again.

Balian went straight into the room this time, which was now illuminated by candles, and indeed he found Sofia looking notably better from before after evident washing by the look of her damp hair and a change to the clean dress, but she wasn’t awake and instead had fallen asleep next to Kalilah. Balian looking the pair for a moment before walked over to the bed and raised the covers over Sofia, now while eyeing at their asleep faces for the first time taking actual notice the small girl to be truly Sofia's daughter.

Although Kalilah was very young, Balian could see they shared the same dark, syrupy hair and long lashes of the same color. The curve of their upper lip also identical, but what differed was that the girl’s hair was curly, where Sofia’s was nearly straight despite of a few occasional waves, and what Balian didn't yet know was did the child have the same colored eyes as her mother. So smiling a little at this thought he hoped that Kalilah would soon recover, for it to be possible for him to determine that. After casting one more sympathetic look at the mother and daughter Balian soon leaving, blowing out the candles at his wake, with equally worried mind going straight to bed himself.

* * *

Kalilah didn't die on the following day or the next, despite of the fact that her wounds were very severe, but she didn't wake up either. For two weeks Sofia staying with her daughter, sedulously treating her wounds, even during all that time she knew in some part of her mind her efforts to be possibly for no avail. But still she did this, perhaps to occupy herself rather than give in to her fears and sorrow and end up wallowing in them, which still always haunted her throughout the days when she was forced to see through them in dread of losing her daughter right after God had given her back.

The following morning of the day Kalilah and the other victims of the attack had been brought to Ibelin, Balian indeed hadn't seen Sofia to come to his rooms to bring him his bathwater, which didn’t surprise him after witnessing her overall state. But during those ensued two weeks he hadn’t seen her almost at all, catching but short glimpses of her from here and there. His own life continuing to elapse in the same manner as before, throughout the days him working outside cultivating his lands, where during the evenings he was usually kept busy by his duties as a host once he dedicated his leftover time to Sibylla, keeping her company. Them usually spending a few hours eating dinner together and talking, but either then Balian had never seen Sofia, for she hadn’t served the food even once. Neither Balian spotting her with the other women as they watched the children or did laundry while the men were working at the fields.

Balian couldn't feel but worried about her. And so when a few more days passed and he returned surprisingly early back to the manor, he did inquire from one of the maids had she seen Sofia. The woman’s mien riddled with pity as she replied.

“Sofia is with the girl, my lord”, she'd said. “The child was taken with fever this morning. Sofia has been there ever since, not coming out.”

Balian had become even more uneasy because of this, but had let the issue be. If Kalilah was really in such weak condition that she needed her mother with her at all times, he wouldn't deny it. But he had to admit that he'd started to miss Sofia’s presence in the house, even was it just a meal she'd prepared for dinner, Balian however only wishing her to have her daughter wake up healthy and unharmed…For Sofia had suffered enough, and it would be too cruel even for God to first give Kalilah back to her and then in the following moment bereave her from Sofia.

It was the final morning of the third week as Balian was washing his face outside on the terrace, listening to his Muslim servants’ morning prayer during his intention to wait to see the sun rise. Sofia of course not amongst the people he observed to be kneeling across the backyard, Balian throwing the damp towel on his shoulder after wiping his face with it, gazing at the praying men in the twilight of the early morning, until Sibylla’s voice broke his train of thought.

“They try to be one”, she informed, Balian turning around in surprise and saw her to be bent over one of the tables situated under the large canopy in her nightgown, pouring wine into two cups. Balian instead now going over to the table next to him to dispose of the bowl he'd used for washing up, glancing at the woman as Sibylla continued. Smiling at Balian who'd quickly taken his shirt from the chair he’d left it and put it on, feeling quite uncomfortable to be standing before her shirtless. “One heart, one morality…Their prophet says “ _submit_ ”. Jesus says “ _decide_ ”.”

“Sofia said something similar once”, he answered thoughtfully, remembering the moment in Messina when they'd been watching the praying Muslims. Balian receiving the goblet Sibylla held out for him as she raised her eyebrows.

“Did she? Well as my brother has informed me she probably has some interesting views about religion”, Sibylla replied, taking a sip of her wine with a quizzical look about her. “I hear she is both a Muslim and a Christian.”

Balian nodded, Sibylla quirking her brow again at his words. “She told us how Koran speaks of both Christianity and Islam”, Balian informed, turning contemplative again while recalled the instant, Sofia’s exact words with an eventual hint of concurring smile. “And I find her opinions quite tenable for me to agree…”

“Oh?” Sibylla stated, looking amused. “Well, perhaps her thoughts would be essential in molding this land into the ideal kingdom my brother has striven to create…For if every soul here were all Muslims and Christians by both heart and mind, there would not be this war both sides call _Holy_.”

Balian nodded again in agreement, drinking his wine while next gazed to the horizon to indeed see the sun beginning to emerge from behind the hills. Until something popped into his mind, waking his interest, and he now looked at the princess curiously. “Did you _decide_ on Guy?”

Balian watched Sibylla to her bite her lower lip uneasily, as it was her turn to look down. But only briefly so as she soon shook her head a little while answered, in denial. “Guy was chosen by my mother. My first husband died before our son was born…I was only 15.”

Sibylla now smiled and looked up to Balian, who returned her stare serenely, but in his mind felt compassion once more. For Sibylla to have been married in such a young age to a man she hadn't chosen or possibly wanted…it made her just like Sofia, who also had been possessed in a coeval age by a man she hadn't known or wanted. But in both cases it had occurred nevertheless, either for practicality or enough money, so upon thinking this once more Balian didn't see the world God had created to be anything but fair…and cruel. But then he smiled as his thoughts shifted to the passing encounter he’d had at the palace a few weeks past.

“I’ve met your son”, he revealed, Sibylla giving him a curious look back, about to respond, but lost her chance by the sound of steps nearing the terrace.

“My lord Balian?” a servant’s voice interrupted, coming from the door and causing Balian to turn around. Finding the comer to be one of the maids, named Azusa, and who he remembered to be Zuleika’s niece if his memory served. Balian placing his cup on the table and walked over to her, seeing her worried expression, but once he approached she curtsied as was proper, smiling shyly.

“Yes?” he asked, Azusa now glancing at the princess and made another quick curtsey, until faced her lord. Looking serious but anxious at the same time.

“My aunt sent me here”, Azusa told him. “But it is not only for her plea that I come, but everyone are concerned…Sofia hasn’t come out of her daughter’s room for days, my lord.”

Balian was surprised. For days? She'd stayed in that room for that long? Him frowning at this unsettling notion, as Azusa continued at the behest of his demanding gaze.

“She has hardly eaten or come out to bathe. And my aunt said that as she trusts you the most, my lord, you could go and talk her out of that room. We fear if she stays there much longer it is she who will become ill instead of small Kalilah”, she said, but then hastily bowed her head in respect. “Only if it is alright, my lord! But we beseech you to go and talk to her. We worry, my lord.”

Balian sighed, thinking a moment until nodded. Truly, Sofia was impossible.

“I will go”, he promised. “Has she been brought food yet?”

“No. She has said that if she wishes to eat, she’ll go to the kitchen herself not to cause trouble for others”, Azusa answered, bowing again. And upon hearing that Balian now only shook his head in slight irritation.

“Sure she will…” he muttered, in fact saying his thoughts out loud, Azusa now eyeing at him a bit oddly but Balian then nodded again reassuringly. “Do not worry. I'll talk to her. Tell your aunt to prepare something for Sofia to eat.”

Azusa nodded in consent herself and departed, leaving the terrace, while Sibylla sent a baffled look after her.

“Is something wrong with Sofia?” she questioned, coming closer to Balian, whose gaze fell onto the paving of the terrace.

“She hasn’t come out of her daughter’s room in days”, he replied, grimly.

“Is she feeling unwell?”

“Yes. She is.”

* * *

Balian knocked on the door of the improvised sanatorium and entered for the first time after three weeks of absence, holding a small plate that Zuleika had prepared. Closing the door after himself before spotted Sofia sitting on the exact same spot as all those weeks ago, Balian noting that for one she'd been changing clothes instead of just sitting at the bedside still as a rock, staring at her daughter doing nothing. So at least the situation wasn’t as grave as before. Sofia gasping as she heard the door close, turning on her seat startled, only to see Balian stand there. Surprise on her face.

“My lord?” she asked, Balian walking closer. Taking notice that even hearing her call him so reverently didn't sound so odd anymore after such a long time of not talking to her at all. Him shaking his head slightly at this thought as returned Sofia’s gaze.

Balian approached the bed, but was stopped by who else than Darcy, who perhaps hadn’t either left the room since three weeks ago, and who now dashed forth from the other side of the bed. Growling at him as if he were a threat, Balian raising his brows at this but more jaded than taken aback this time, not realizing why this dog suddenly seemed to hate him so much. But Darcy's hostility was swiftly stifled by a brisk wave of Sofia's hand.

“Darcy yield!” she commanded, although softly, the dog obeying as always and only snorted. Walking to lie at the end of the bed, Sofia sighing at him until smiled at Balian apologetically.

“I am sorry my lord. He's become really protective of Kalilah for some reason”, she told him, Balian mirroring her smile, before then gave the spaniel one more cautious look. Resuming his walk towards the bed.

“It is fine. I already know him to detest me”, he answered, amused, looking over at Darcy who snorted again as if confirming his insight. Balian smiling at the animal in turn as did Sofia, but he then shifted his attention back to the young woman, to examine her.

Azusa had been right to be concerned, as Sofia truly looked weary. Her usually healthy, tanned complexion looking pale and she had serious shadows under her eyes…Maybe for staying up several nights beside her daughter to observe her condition, or for mere worry which constantly burdened both her heart and mind. Balian giving her yet another compassionate look, until then gazed at the still asleep child...Discovering not much to have changed since the last he’d seen her, aside for the fact that she didn’t anymore seem to be on the verge of death.

“Hasn’t she opened her eyes yet?” he inquired. Sofia shaking her head, now stretching out a hand to take the warmed rag from Kalilah’s brow before pushed it into the bowl of recently replaced cool water.

“No. The fever isn't subsiding, which tires her out so that she doesn’t have the strength to wake up”, Sofia replied, now much more calmer than on that night three weeks past, squeezing the rag from excessive water until placed it back onto the girl’s forehead. Sofia sighing now, pulling the covers better over the tiny patient.

“Sofia, you should eat”, Balian urged then, sitting on the same chair as before while looking at Sofia seriously, placing the plate on the side of the bed as well. Her looking at it but shook her head again.

“My lord, you need not to take care of me”, she remarked, looking into Balian’s eyes. However turning then confused by his rather hard expression as he gazed at her now, clearly not in agreement with her words. “I am fine.”

“Do not lie to me, Sofia”, he replied sternly, giving the woman one more swift lookover to prove his point. “You are not fine. I am not the only one who's worried over you just sitting here day after day. It’ll be bad for your health if you don’t leave this room and eat, have some fresh air.”

Sofia looked away, her eyes then eventually finding their way back to Kalilah. Balian seeing this and his own softened.

“I understand you are worried”, he said. “But Kalilah is recovered enough for you to be able to leave her side. Her life isn’t in danger any longer and she will not die…So you can’t keep neglecting yourself, even if it’s for her sake. Or it is you who shall fall ill.”

Sofia looked at Balian and understood that to be true, but she just looked helpless as brushed Kalilah’s hair away from her face. Hesitating.

“I know”, she agreed. “But I was so shaken three weeks ago that…I’m afraid. She nearly died right after I found her again, and now I feel that if I leave…she’ll disappear.”

Sofia gave the girl one more motherly smile, which brought unexpected warmth into Balian’s heart unlike he’d felt for a very long while as she continued, more tenderly. “This must sound incredible coming from a mouth of a woman who hasn’t been in her daughter’s life even a day since her birth, but…I love her so much. And she's everything I have.”

Sofia gauged at Kalilah’s tranquil face, taking in every detail and feature that resembled her. The child not looking all that much like her father, which was a miracle, also Balian observing the little girl for awhile until soon reached out his hand and placed it on Sofia’s. Her turning to him, new surprise in her eyes due to his unlikely gesture, which she hadn’t previously registered during the last time they’d been sitting at the bedside like this. Balian smiling as then beckoned to Kalilah with a slight bend of his head.

“Go. I’ll stay”, he promised, taking Sofia aback even more.

“My lord...” she begun, but Balian cut her off with another smile, now nodding towards the doorway.

“Go Sofia. Go eat something more filling than this and go outside. I don’t want you to get sick right after your daughter recovers from her fever.”

Balian had now glanced at the small portion of fruits and bread on the plate and Sofia also looked at it again, until cast her eyes back up to meet Balian’s in disbelief.

“But my lord, what about the estate and the work to be done on the fields?” Sofia asked. “It is already bad enough for me to have overlooked my duties for so long, but you cannot possibly stay here and do nothing!”

Balian turned now rather playful as returned Sofia’s opposing gaze, smiling. “Who is the lord of this estate?” he questioned, actually foiling Sofia's incoming objections. “And who says I will stay to do nothing? Taking care of your daughter is as important as the managing of my lands. After all…If I won’t take care of her like I promised to take care of you…what kind of man would I be? Almaric can handle the matters today in my place, so my duties can do without me for a day.”

Sofia stared at Balian for a moment and he saw her eyes to be filled with gratitude. And gentleness, new, thankful but also astounded smile spreading on her lips.

“Thank you”, she said, sincerely, smiling even wider at her lord’s benevolence. “Thank you, my lord.”

They exchanged a short smile, until Sofia then let out a final sigh and turned, bending down to press a light kiss on Kalilah’s sweaty cheek. Whispering a few words in Arabic, causing Balian’s smile to turn a bit wistful as this time he’d understood her words.

**“Wake up soon, mother’s sweetheart.”**

Sofia gave her lord one more smile until left, her hand sliding away from Balian’s. Balian turning to follow her walk to the door, to his eye perhaps teetering a bit and causing him at first to consider should he have escorted her downstairs, but instead he let Sofia close the door behind herself without him saying anything. Balian next taking her place on the bed, measuring the fever-ridden child until remembered the plate, directing a remarkable look at the feet of the bed.

“Hey”, he called, Darcy’s muzzle coming to sight from behind the bed, until Balian saw his ears to rise when he instead raised the plate, luring Darcy over as immediately the dog stood and hurried next to him. His previous irritated look about him now completely gone as the animal sat down, waving his tail, all of a sudden offering distinct puppy eyes to Balian. Him chuckling at this sudden change in his behavior as raised his brows.

“Weren’t you supposed to hate me?” he inquired, Darcy tilting his head to the sides and Balian could pretty much imagine him thinking _‘are you talking about me?’._ Balian chuckling again and then eyed at the dog until finally placed the plate on the floor slowly, Darcy following the movement extremely attentively, licking his lips.

“This is a sign of a truce, agreed?” Balian stated and nodded at the plateful of food, Darcy turning his head in a puppy like manner. Balian then peering at Kalilah over his shoulder before nodded towards her in turn.

“I am no threat”, he reassured. “I will not harm this girl. Nor will I harm Sofia either. You don’t have to protect them from me.”

Darcy seemed to ponder over his words for a moment, glancing down at the plate as if deciding should he take the bait or not for Balian’s amusement. But he then tilted his head the second time and barked, starting to wag his tail again, as it appeared to Balian leveling a look of concur at him. Balian inclining his head as well.

“Good that we have that settled”, he stated, suddenly realizing how odd it was for him to be actually talking to a dog, him then straightening his posture with a sigh. “Now, let us treat Kalilah so that she’ll open her eyes by the time her mother gets back.”

Darcy barked and instead of starting to eat he now rounded the bed, jumping on Kalilah’s right side and placed his muzzle back on the girl’s stomach. So habitually that it seemed him to be doing that quite often while keeping the unconscious child company, Balian instead now removing the cloth from her forehead and dropped it into the bowl. Drenching it before next pulled the covers away from Kalilah, raising her small arms and begun to wipe them with the rag. Hoping it to help the fever to lower.

Balian didn’t know how long he sat there, but was only glad the more time passed. Sofia to have truly listened to him by leaving this room and staying out of it, and Balian vowed that if she would ever do something like this again he would drag her out himself. No matter was someone dying or not. For he if anyone knew what sorrow could make of a person if it was given to take the best of them...especially while wallowing in it in isolation with nothing else to think about aside for that grief.

Balian sank the cloth into the bowl again and this time squeezed some of the water over the girl’s face and chest, spreading the droplets all over her skin. His eyes soon however stopping to examine the birthmark Sofia had mentioned the girl to have inherited from her, him finding it to be rather large. With a shape that reminded of an overturned crescent moon, Balian thinking a moment until his measuring eyes moved higher to inspect the girl’s features. Yes, she was just like her mother. No doubt about it.

Balian wondered was there anything in this child that had been inherited strictly from her father…But soon he stopped himself from considering such notions, for Balian didn’t want to think about those men who had once… _owned_ Sofia like she'd been nothing but an object, purchased to be used however they'd desired. Like he now owned these lands his father had left him...And this little, innocent girl right here…was also a result of such ownership. But as Balian now gazed at the girl who was the most adorable while sleeping, the curly long hair spread over the pillows, he sighed. Wiping her forehead again.

It wasn’t this girl’s fault how she'd come to be, and neither was it Sofia’s. But regardless every time he strayed to think about that sincere and gentle young woman he'd learnt to know to have been humiliated and used by all those men…Truthfully it made him angry, which in the following instant rather confused him. Why should he be angry over any of it? After all, Sofia wasn’t his property, no matter what she said about it herself.

She'd told him that the moment they’d met her body and soul had become his the same way they were God’s…But Balian didn’t see it that way. Even if Sofia was mostly regarded and treated like the main female servant in this house and despite of Balian himself calling her one these days, he nevertheless didn't consider her like that, but more importantly she was a companion to him rather than a servant. Yes, she'd pledged her loyalty to him, but the things they'd experienced together after leaving France six months ago gave enough cause for Balian to think that Sofia definitely wasn’t a mere servant to him.

Balian gasped for surprise as suddenly Kalilah let out a sleepy moan, snapping him out of his musings. And as he raised the cloth and observed the girl he then saw her move, stretch under the sheets until stopped her slight squirming, Balian next noticing her eyelids to quiver. Balian straightening and Darcy’s ears reared, now the dog also noticing the girl to shift under he covers and he stood. Stretching down close to the girl’s face and licked her cheek, then her nose, Kalilah still moaning sleepily until the clearest laugh Balian had ever heard erupted from her lips and the girl twitched, trying to escape from the tickling, slobbering dog tongue. Balian following as in response Darcy retreated and whimpered, wagging his tail excitedly once after weeks of time Kalilah’s eyes finally fluttered open. Slowly, the child glancing around in confusion, her groggy gaze first fixating onto the orange canopy cascading above her, before the big round, now fully open eyes turned to ogle at Balian.

Balian froze. Staring into Sofia’s daughter’s eyes, in tardy realization learning that she indeed was Sofia’s daughter, once he now found himself looking into same kind of vivid, emotional eyes which gaze even if filled with childlike wonder and awe, was wise. But unlike her mother's Kalilah’s irises were bright blue, not dark, Balian being able to feel himself start to smile as the girl then spoke, with equally drowsy and a bit hard to understand mutter common to that age.

“Who are you?” she asked, staring at Balian now but curiously despite of her astonishment. “Does Kalilah know you?”

Balian let out a laugh at that, studying the child while smiling the most gently he never would’ve anticipated himself to be able to smile after his wife’s death. Shaking his head. “No. But I know your mother.”

The girl was baffled again by his response, until his words sank in and instantly her eyes lit up for excitement. For longing, Kalilah’s gaze briefly dropping until it was cast back up to Balian in yearning, in simple elation the word he’d just said brought to her.

“Momma?”

* * *

Sofia sighed as she walked along the corridors of Ibelin residence. Admitting her lord to have been right to chase her out of Kalilah’s room, in which she'd mostly spent the previous week, not leaving even once. Her now truthfully feeling herself so much better after a bath and change of clothes before the delicious meal Zuleika had been kind enough to prepare for her…Although the woman had seemed to have done it simply because of her joy to see Sofia out of that _‘God forsaken’_ room, as she'd pointed out to her after a motherly rant over the same topic that Balian had also taken into discussion. Eventually Zuleika to have just embraced her and prayed to both Christian god and Allah to heal Kalilah.

Sofia started to smile. The kindness her lord had showed her, even if simple, to her was still so great in its plainness that it made her happy, so much so that she couldn't describe it. For him to have put aside his work just to stay with her daughter... Sofia could never thank him so that it would be enough, for her lord to express such benevolence to her invariably, which she necessarily wasn’t even worthy of, only proved what Sofia already knew…That her lord was a good person.

Almaric happened to step through the front door just as Sofia was coming from upstairs, and he seemed surprised to see her. But soon enough a grin inhabited his lips as he halted to watch her descend the stairs, next causing Sofia to stiffen once his snell voice greeted her at the final step.

“Amira!”

Sofia eyed at the man oddly, warily. Meeting the man’s gaze as he came over to her at the sound of her confounded reply, inclining his head.

“Excuse me?”

“Haven’t you heard? They are calling you that in this house”, he stated, Sofia seeing him glance at her painted lips rather remarkably.

“Yes, yes I know that”, she answered nonchalantly. Almaric looking back at her mischievously, for she didn’t appear quite as unaffected by this particular nickname as she tried to make it seem, hence his following banter.

“I personally have come to think that that name means much more than it sounds…when it comes to you _Amira_.”

Sofia gasped and she examined this crusader in suspicion, in disbelief, until she then realized him to have apparently come to learn the truth about her from somewhere…Her eyes widening.

“How do you… know?” she asked, lowering her voice, while gave the man a sharper glance. Almaric only shrugging at her tense tone, his own as heedless as hers had been just a moment ago.

“Word goes around”, he stated, elaborating. “One of the servants saw your tattoo and ever since they’ve been calling you Amira…But only those who know what the tattoo stands for of course. Others just follow along not knowing where that name truly comes from.”

“And you know what it means? My tattoo?” Sofia demanded. Almaric not responding at first, but his expression told the young woman the answer, him soon smirking at the somewhat anxious look on her own mien.

“Have you not been wondering why everyone in this house treats you with such utmost respect?” he queried, Sofia snorting and looking past the man.

“I had been hoping it was because I’ve been treating them as politely and kindly...” she half muttered, until shifted her now more serious eyes back to the crusader, her voice a bit nervous then as she scoured Almaric’s countenance in alarm. “So everyone knows? _Truly_ knows?”

“As I said, only those who know the significance of your tattoo. And the ones who _truly_ know are not going to reveal your secret to anyone.”

Sofia sighed now a bit uneasily too, locking incredulous gazes with the man. “How can you be sure of this? It isn’t at all new that someone will slip and the word will spread again…”

“I know this to be true…” Almaric reassured, now a bit more sternly himself. “Because lord Balian made sure that word of you being Saladin’s daughter and a princess would not leave this house. He himself explained what it would mean to you if anyone would found out…And possibly what it would mean to little Kalilah.”

Sofia stared at this man in awe, blinking, looking amazed. “My lord…?” she questioned, Almaric nodding in consent. But soon he smiled again, now hugging the young woman.

“It’s great to see you out and about, Amira Sofia! Good that lord Balian finally managed to drive you from that room!” the man continued, Sofia eventually smiling back at him.

There was a very understandable reason behind their much closer relationship, for ever since it had been Sofia who'd treated him about a month ago after he'd developed a sudden pneumonia, who knows how in that drought, and nursed him back to health Almaric had treated her much more warmly. And Sofia was only happy about this, as she found Almaric dependable and most trustworthy out of all her lord’s knights.

“Yes, it feels good to be able to breathe again”, Sofia admitted, Almaric nodding.

“Isn’t it? Well then, wouldn’t you join me for a small stroll or is Zuleika already drowning you with work?”

Sofia shook her head, returning his endless smile. “I am sorry, but I cannot. I have to go check on Kalilah.”

Almaric gave her a measuring look until crossed his arms over his chest, raising his eyebrows in a condemning manner. “You are not telling me you to be going back to that room after a week, Amira? Lord Balian is right, you are impossible to handle!”

Sofia was further surprised, her voice gaining a slight indignant edge. “I am?”

“You are. And our lord should know as he has known you the longest out of all of us”, Almaric mused, Sofia sighing at him.

“I am not to stay there for another week! But I have to go bring our lord something to bite into”, she answered matter-of-factly. But it was now Almaric’s turn to freeze, him eyeing at the young woman with measuring eyes again until arched his eyebrows the second time.

“Dinner to our lord?” he asked innocently, although he could guess where this conversation was going…Or assumed to know, Sofia spotting his insinuating expression and gave him a rather scolding stare back.

“Yes. Our lord was kind enough to stay with Kalilah while I left for a needed break”, Sofia answered as well carelessly, even though her heart was instantly flooded with gratitude. Almaric nodding in realization as his brow rose the third time, the man trying his hardest to hinder his smile.

“So that is why our lord has seen fit to leave all the work to me today….” he remarked, still grinning briefly. Sofia taking obvious note of his course of mind and sighed again, but said nothing and in the end only smiled while shook her head at him.

“How is the little one doing?” Almaric then inquired, looking at Sofia earnestly once more. Sofia’s smile faltering and she averted his gaze.

“She’s feverish. Has been for days and the temperature doesn’t seem to go down”, Sofia told him. Almaric nodding as any comforting words then escaped him, him taking Sofia’s small hands into his large ones, squeezing them.

“I pray that your Kalilah will be with us soon”, he said, his lips then twitching for another smile, and his voice was again tainted with humor as he continued. “I cannot wait to meet the daughter of our Amira. She must be as stunning as you!”

Sofia narrowed her eyes a little. Yes, in addition to that great kindness he had begun to show her, with it had also come the constant if innocent flirting. Her sighing yet again at the crusader’s sweet talk, until what else but smiled.

“She is”, Sofia agreed. “If not even more stunning.”

Almaric’s own smile widened in amusement, but then he abruptly took notice of the size difference of their hands and actually seemed amazed by this. Examining Sofia’s palms, turning them around in a playful manner. “God forbid how small hands you have…Can you even work with such princess’ hands as these?”

Sofia now made the final, deepest sigh as pulled her hands back from the man who was once again smiling at her, this time teasingly.

“Do you not have the work our lord has left you?” Sofia inquired, about to walk past Almaric. But his following question stopped her.

“I do regrettably…But tell me, Sofia, you have as well known our lord the longest of us all, and you seem more close to him than mere servant would to their lord”, he answered, looking then curious. “Then why haven’t I heard you call him by his name even once?”

Sofia indeed halted momentarily, but soon only smiled, where Almaric was surprised in turn. Once she spoke him simply sighing at Sofia’s reply, shaking his own head. “Because he is my lord. I have no reason to call him anything other than that.”

“Do you not really?” Almaric mused to himself, so quietly that Sofia didn’t hear him and she only frowned at him in confusion. But Almaric then nodded dismissively.

“Very well then. Go take some food to our lord who is working hard upstairs…” he urged, directing an amused glance at the roof until soon turned, heading for the entrance. “Good day to you, Amira!”

Sofia smiled after the man before immediately went to the kitchen herself, to fetch the food Zuleika had prepared according to her earlier request. And together they arranged the small meal for one onto a tray, until with a thankful smile Sofia claimed it, carrying it out of the kitchen and all the way to upstairs. Zuleika accompanying her, as her intention to go to their lord’s bedroom to change the sheets to his bed, but as Sofia then halted to open the door to Kalilah’s room, she heard a hearty giggle. Her stiffening a hand on the handle, listening. Yes she…could hear laughing from inside the room Kalilah slept in, her heart skipping a beat then and without wasting another second Sofia swung the door open, rushing in.

Sofia almost dropped the tray due to the sight that awaited her inside. Her seeing Kalilah playing around in the bed with Darcy, who was barking and swarming about the small girl, while Balian was observing them from the same spot she'd sat these past weeks, eyeing at the pair a smile on his lips. But now all three turned to look at awestruck Sofia who just stared, soon letting out a breath, feeling her eyes to water as she gazed at her now awoken daughter. Watching Kalilah to gaze back at her in confusion, until she then turned to Balian quizzically.

“Who is this lady and why she looks like Kalilah?” she asked, her eyes round for awe as she now ogled at the arrived young woman, who looked so much like her. The child turning her head as looked between her mother and the man she'd first met after waking up, Balian glancing at Sofia until leant forward, smoothing Kalilah’s hair briefly.

“This is the woman I told you of”, Balian answered gently, now turning to Sofia fully. “She is the one who loves you more than anything and who’s stayed by your side this whole time…Waiting to meet you.”

Kalilah was baffled by his words. But then her countenance practically begun to beam in realization and she turned to Sofia, in delight.

“Momma?” she called, her voice now mirroring plain excitement, but also trembling as a sign of incoming cry. Sofia releasing an affective breath as put away the tray, walking to Kalilah in a daze until knelt before her. Saying nothing. Just examining this little girl who did the same, until soon her hands rose to feel Sofia’s face and run through her hair, Sofia blinking due to the forming flood of tears, starting to overflow as she gasped again at her daughter’s dithering touch.

“Are you my momma?” Kalilah inquired, innocently, Balian watching as Sofia let out a new breath at her doubtful tone and nodded. Smiling now overjoyed as grasped the girl’s tiny hand, bursting with happiness over that simple feathery stroke of her fingers that were then closed into hers.

“Yes…Yes little Kalilah I am your mother”, Sofia confirmed, brushing the girl’s locks behind her ear adoringly until stood up, seizing the child into her arms.

“Momma!”

Balian's smile widened as Kalilah squeezed Sofia as tightly as she embraced her daughter, who didn’t seem at all shy towards this supposedly unfamiliar woman. Perhaps knowing in her heart that Sofia was her mother, as certainly as she knew Kalilah to be her daughter. Now openly weeping Sofia cradling Kalilah as pressed soothing kisses into her hair, Kalilah burying her head into Sofia’s neck and begun to sob. Gripping to Sofia’s clothes.

“Momma…momma…” she cried, Sofia hushing her and rocked her more to calm her.

“Yes. Yes mother’s here. I am now here”, Sofia told her softly, giving the frantic girl another kiss. “And I never ever go away again. You understand? Never is mother going to leave you again…”

Sofia now raised Kalilah a little away from herself to look into her teary eyes until then brought her close once more, placing her head against the girl’s, running a lingering hand across the side of her neck. “Never. Never will I leave you again. Remember that…”

“But Kalilah didn’t have mommy…” Kalilah sobbed. “Other girls like Kalilah had a momma…But Kalilah did not…”

Both Sofia and Balian frowned at this rueful remark, but Sofia then ignored the desolate lurch of her heart and smiled. Placing the girl back on the bed, sitting next to her and moved her hair out of her face before ran her fingers over Kalilah’s tear stained cheeks.

“Now you do. You have a mother, Kalilah. You’ve always had”, she said, reassuringly. Her then casting her gaze to Kalilah’s birthmark, touching it, the girl looking down at it as well until then her blue eyes rose to see how Sofia removed her scarf and pulled down her bodice, showing the identical mark to the child. Sofia smiling again, smoothing Kalilah’s head with her right hand while her left remained on her chest. To simply feel it fall and rise as a sign of life she’d feared to run out.

“I am your mother, Kalilah, because you got that mark from me. There is no one else who could’ve given it to you”, Sofia explained, meeting the girl’s gaze. “No one else other than your mother. And I gave you your name, Kalilah. My Kalilah.”

Kalilah now understood and new tears rolled down her cheeks as she hugged Sofia again, her closing the girl into her arms in relief, in elation.

“Momma! I’ve got my momma!” Kalilah cried against Sofia’s chest, clasping to her, not wanting to let go ever again. Sofia smiling and she nodded, one more tear falling down her own cheek as she settled her head on Kalilah’s. Feeling her scent, which she could only faintly remember from the day she'd been born and Sofia had held her in her arms if but a fleeting moment…But she now knew she couldn’t have mistaken it. This _was_ her child. Her daughter. Her Kalilah.

Sofia let Kalilah cry, continuing to caress her hair consolingly, smiling endlessly. How could she have become so joyful again in a blink of an eye? For she was so elated that her heart seemed to leap out of her chest, and she couldn’t recall any other time she'd felt like this…So blessed. Right that moment Sofia feeling like everything in her life had come in place, that she now had everything she needed to become content…happy.

Sofia’s eyes now moved to Balian, who was still overseeing the reunion quietly from his seat, that somehow longing smile on his lips. While beheld the shared glee of mother and daughter wondering would it have been like this with his own child should he ever been born…Whether it could have been him smiling down at a small two year old like this, such heartfelt tenderness and bliss in his eyes? Probably. Except that from the very first moment she'd opened her eyes and smiled at him, Kalilah had made him feel like that…The wounds left in his soul and heart seeming like healing by a mere sight of this child. And to witness Sofia’s joy after seeing her fear and sorrow over the thought of her daughter's death made him then smile as well. As Balian now noticed Sofia’s gaze him facing her kindly, Sofia raising her head, leveling a sincerely grateful look deep into his eyes.

“Thank you”, she said, like before, but now she was but serious…Thankful beyond measure. “You woke my little girl. I can never pay you back, my lord.”

Balian shook his head, glancing at Kalilah curtly. “You don’t have to.”

Sofia returned his stare for a moment pensively until sighed, now separating from the girl before placing her on the bed better and rushing to the door, opening it.

“Zuleika!” she shouted excitedly, the said woman soon dashing inside, however instantly halting at the doorway once she saw the child to be awake. Sofia smiling widely as she glanced between Zuleika and her daughter, until then the older woman broke into a bright smile herself and instantly begun to sweet talk to the girl in Arabic, approaching. But then she noticed Balian and was startled by his presence, looking at her lord whom she discovered sitting on the chair next her.

“My lord?” she stated questionably as raised Kalilah higher, gauging at the young man. “What are you doing here, my lord? I thought Sofia brought you supper to the terrace for you to dine with lady Sibylla…”

“I looked after Kalilah while Sofia was taking a break”, Balian answered honestly, standing. Zuleika making a slow nod of her own as now eyed at her lord and Sofia in turns until nodded again, believing that she understood.

“Well, the main thing is that this little princess finally woke up!” Zuleika remarked and hoisted the girl into the air. “My, you are the very image of your mother! No one can make a mistake about that with those eyes!”


	12. From a Princess to Another

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the film, only my own characters and alterations to the original plot.  
> ________________________________________
> 
> Phrases written in bold; Arabic  
> Phrases written in italics; thoughts, memories, quotes

By the next day Kalilah’s fever had finally broken, starting to go down right after she'd woken up the day before. Leaving Sofia free to resume with her daily routines instead of constantly nursing her, except that that particular day she was seen walking outside with Kalilah. Showing her Ibelin, the place she would live in from now on. But they weren't given much alone time as all of the servants wanted to see Amira’s daughter...including several of Balian’s knights. Sofia and Kalilah quickly finding themselves surrounded by a crowd of people for nearly ten minutes, as everyone came forth to have a turn to take her daughter in their arms. But Kalilah didn’t seem to mind, as she wasn’t at all shy and rather enjoyed the attention, where Sofia just followed the commotion from the sidelines, shaking her head.

“I was wrong and you right, Amira Sofia!” Almaric stated as crouched before Kalilah in turn, who instead was standing in front of Sofia. Actually turning a little shy for the first time ever as this tall, big man descended down to her level, Almaric examining Kalilah carefully until looked up to smiling Sofia. “She _is_ more stunning than you! Little heartbreaker I say!”

Sofia sighed, rolling her eyes at this man’s endless dalliance, but then she gazed at Kalilah, encouraging her to go greet Almaric. Kalilah seeming hesitant, looking up to her mother nervously who nodded, glancing at the man and then again at her daughter, who still dithered until took a couple of careful steps towards the crusader…Perhaps her cautiousness owed to the not so pleasant memories the child may have had of men like Almaric, therefore her staring at him intently as approached. Almaric who saw her fear breaking into a tardy, heartening smile, extending his hand and waved at the girl to come closer.

“Come now, I won’t bite. At least for now!” Almaric urged, tantalising the child. But then smirking he grabbed the two year old and raised her up, swinging her around in such speed that Sofia actually flinched for fright. But she relaxed then as Kalilah’s laugh instantly filled the air and she was hoisted up onto Almaric’s shoulders, the man peering up to her.

“Does it have a good view up there? If so, then maybe you should stay there!” he teased further, Kalilah still laughing and she placed her hands on his head, her previous mistrust all forgotten as she leant forth to look into his eyes. That act however close to causing her to fall forward and everyone gasped, Almaric still catching her in time, straightening her. Sofia sighing again as Almaric turned to her.

“Could I borrow her for a while? Show her around from the heights?” the man asked, Sofia shaking her head for the umpteenth time.

“I agree as long as you don’t get my daughter killed”, she consented, Almaric grinning.

“Never would I allow the daughter of our Amira to get hurt!” he promised and waved his hand casually, then leaning forward himself, Kalilah naturally swinging to the same direction. Not much but enough to scare Sofia, until she gave the bald-headed crusader a nasty look when his hands once more secured the girl riding on his shoulders, the man only smirking at Sofia in amusement.

“Just go already!” Sofia breathed. Leaving Kalilah to Almaric’s care, as despite of his knack to trifle with her whenever he could, she trusted him to keep an eye on her daughter. Enabling her to take her mind of the yet outlandish act of parenting and focus onto something she was more familiar with. Indeed some time later Sofia carrying a laundry basket full of clean clothes waiting to be set to dry, once Kalilah’s laugh reached into her ears and she faced the direction of the fields. Watching her to be still rocking on Almaric’s shoulders, looking positively happy. Sofia sighing once more, but eventually broke into smile due to Kalilah’s evident mirth.

She felt so different now when she'd suddenly become a mother again, even it was most unexpected and not something she’d prepared for…But that feeling was only great, once more Sofia feeling herself complete, as if not a single piece was missing from her life. Sofia thanking God for His grace which had led Kalilah back to her, as now that repressed love she'd harbored within her for a long time was finally set free and unleashed upon the sole person it belonged…Still smiling to herself at this blissful thought Sofia now placing another piece of laundry on the cord in front of her.

“Balian!” she then abruptly heard her daughter exclaim, excited, Sofia shifting her attention back to her to see Kalilah to be waving at her lord whom she’d spotted in the process of attaching new supports for the watering chute. Sofia spying also his mien to be softened by a smile due to the sight of Kalilah, and she smiled wider herself once she fathomed how important her lord had seemed to become to her small daughter in such a short amount of time…But this fact didn’t bother her as long as it didn’t disturb her lord.

* * *

Balian was sitting by his desk, finally going through the bookkeeping of his estate after willingly postponing it for weeks himself, for the amount of work he’d instantly known sorting out the documents would require had caused him steer clear of it as long as possible…Him however finally taking upon the arduous task, while now fully immersed into the inconsistent accounts of revenue Balian staring at the sloppily written lines and tried to clear them out for himself, but more and more often he tended to frown in frustration as the markings and numbers quickly begun to seem mere gibberish to him. Him letting out a long, weary breath and leant back in his seat, rubbing his strained eyes after several hours of reading through the miscellaneous papers in the dim light of a sole candle. Next taking a hold of a goblet resting on the table beside him, about to have some water to perk up, the ever so excruciating heat playing a significant part in making him so drowsy... But as his gaze now skimmed through the cluster of papers again it then focused on the rock Kalilah had given him that afternoon.

Balian took the stone in his hand to examine it. It was but an ordinary rock, nothing special about it…But Kalilah had seemed to think otherwise by stubbornly insisting Balian to have it, although her mother had calmly tried to tell Kalilah to leave the matter be. But Balian had taken the rock nevertheless, it being just a mere rock to him, but to Kalilah it had been important enough object to be endowed to him, and that thought caused him to let out a laugh until he placed the rock back onto the finished pile of bookkeeping he'd managed to go through.

Balian was then about to drink some more water, fallen back into his ponders, when a sudden creak coming from the proximate room claimed his attention. Him leaning forth to gaze through the doors, detecting no movement in the dark to reveal someone to have entered his quarters, aside for the curtains fluttering in the wind that blew inside from the open doors of the balcony. But as he then cast his eyes down momentarily and placed the goblet back on the table, a flicker of light appeared to his field of vision and he turned in his chair…To see Sibylla come into view at the doorway, a candle in her hand.

Balian straightened his back as gave the woman a questionable, but an earnest look as well after the fleeting wonder of seeing her here at such a late hour…For she shouldn’t have been there, however seemingly heedless to this fact Sibylla only smiling at him, clearly not sharing his viewpoint of the matter as the one who had entered his quarters so late at night against all norms of propriety, alone, with no one to accompany her.

“I could stay forever”, she mused. Her statement leaving Balian stupefied for a brief instant, as he didn’t know how to respond to it or how to feel about it.

“This house is yours”, he did then reply, courteously, partly not even noticing as the princess leveled a gauging look at him.

“Why do you think I’m here?” she questioned, angling her head a little, an expectant look on her mien as another passing silence descended between them once she waited for Balian’s answer. Balian turning pensive in turn over her words as soon stood, circling the table to walk over to Sibylla. Gazing at her for a moment, weighing his response as well as the real purpose behind the princess’ nightly visit to his chambers.

“I know that Ibelin is not on the way to Cana”, he answered, arching his eyebrows matter-of-factly. Amusing the woman.

“What else do you know, my lord?” Sibylla demanded, curiously, her eyes locked with Balian's while that ghost of smile played on her lips.

“I know that you are a princess”, Balian stated, indifferent look about his mien as he then once more came to question Sibylla’s reason to be here. Making it clear with his staid delivery. “…And I am no lord.”

“You’re a knight.”

“Neither earned…nor proved.”

Sibylla gazed down curtly, contemplatively due to his somber reply that after all was true and the voice of reason she perhaps should’ve abided by, until her countenance turned somewhat emotional once she eventually answered. Certain weight to her words that caused Balian to bypass his previous doubts, instead ending up transfixed by them. “I’m not here with you because I’m bored, or wicked…I’m here because…because in the East, between one person and another…there is only light.”

At this point Sibylla had looked up to Balian, blowing out the candle that hovered between them. Balian staring back at her now slightly confused, retreating a couple of steps but Sibylla followed him. Despite of his waver eventually pressing close to him and slid her hands onto his chest after abandoning the candle on the desk, Balian lifting his gaze from her fingers to meet with Sibylla’s. And quicker than a thought the next thing he knew was that they were kissing, Sibylla slipping his robe on the floor, where his hand sought its way to the back of her head to bring her closer. Sibylla responding to the touch of his lips with her own, before he even realized it Balian finding himself acting naturally by lifting her up, driven by her advances. But before anything else had time to occur a sudden knock broke their mutual rapture, it being followed by a familiar voice.

“My lord?" Sofia called as walked into her lord’s bedroom, approaching the study. "I brought you some coffee as Zuleika told me you were…”

Sofia's words ran out as she raised her gaze from the trays she was carrying, halting mid-step as saw princess Sibylla and her lord stand at the door-opening between the study and the sleeping quarters. Arms around each other, looking back at her as stunned, Sofia blinking for abrupt dismay, and she eyed the two for a while until blinked again and looked away abashed once the intimacy of the situation dawned on her…Turning her overall mortified to have walked in on their private moment.

“Sofia?” she heard Balian ask, him instantly putting Sibylla down.

“Forgive me. I did knock, but as no one answered I reckoned…I shall take this to Almaric!” Sofia said hastily, whipping around, embarrassed himself Balian taking a step after her but it was Sibylla’s voice that stopped her instead.

“No, forgive us Sofia. It is alright. Come, I was just about to leave…” she said, surprising both the young woman and Balian, and as Sofia turned the princess gave her a smile, until she next looked at Balian who flinched slightly once her hand discreetly slid down his arm, suggestively. Reminding him of their previous, much less modest contact once Sibylla then smiled at him enigmatically, stepping away from him. Her remark equally cryptic as she lowered her voice upon continuing, however unaware of Sofia to be able to hear her right along with Balian.

“Remember…Here, between one person and the other, there is but light.”

Despite of his passing surrender to them Balian was once more baffled by her words as Sibylla then smiled at him more widely, until walked out of the room. However stopping next to Sofia curtly before headed for the main entrance.

“How is your daughter?” she inquired, Sofia blinking until smiled herself, making a light curtsey.

“She is fine, my lady Sibylla. This is her first week outside”, Sofia answered, Sibylla seeing motherly warmth in the young woman’s eyes which she hadn't seen before. And as she then sneaked a peak at Balian she noticed same type of look to occupy his own, Balian smiling as he leant on the doorframe. Clearly recalling something that brought that smile to his lips, Sibylla making quick conclusion in her mind but without revealing the course of it turned her smiling eyes back to Sofia.

“I then reckon it was her laughter that I’ve been able to hear all the way to my room from outside these past few days”, she remarked, Sofia’s smile widening a little. “I would like to meet her, if it is alright with the mother. Would you come see me when you have time and bring your daughter along? I would rather enjoy to have a child near me, as I miss my son terribly.”

Sofia bowed her head. “As you wish.”

Sibylla smiled once more, directing one last glance at Balian before finally exited his quarters. Sofia following her with her gaze until then sighed after seeing the to door close, her now meeting her lord’s gaze, finding them to be warm. Thus arriving to a conclusion of her own.

“I am truly sorry. I did not mean to…interrupt anything”, she said humbly, lowering her head as walked past Balian into his study, placing the tray on the table. Balian experiencing a new rush of embarrassment and for a brief instant was glad her back to be turned to him until then shook his head, crouching to recover his robe from where it had fallen, before trailed Sofia into the room.

“No, you did not interrupt anything. We were just…”

Balian’s words ran out. There was probably no point in trying to convince Sofia otherwise, as she undoubtedly could've deduced by herself what had been close to occur had she not arrived. So feeling rather mortified himself he then thought with dread what Sofia could’ve walked in to witness had she not entered when he’d been only kissing Sibylla. Balian shifting his ashamed gaze to the side, but he soon sighed. Bracing himself and looked at Sofia, smiling.

“Is she asleep?” he asked, meaning Kalilah, noticing Sofia’s shoulders to shake for a laugh.

“Finally yes. I managed to sing her to sleep, but it took two hours and Zuleika’s voice to accompany me to achieve that. Kalilah was so excited about today that I almost couldn’t settle her into my bed”, Sofia answered cheerfully, Balian letting out a low laugh in turn. Yes, he could imagine. He had never seen such a bubbly child before.

“Were you like that when you were her age?” Balian then inquired, honestly curious. Another laugh erupting from Sofia's lips as she poured the steaming coffee into a cup, mixing in some chili.

“I do not know”, she said, amused. “Wouldn’t it be visible in my current personality if I had?”

“Probably”, Balian agreed. Sofia smiling and she turned, extending the cup to her lord with a nod, Balian offering his thanks with a smile of his own. But then as Sofia faced away from him again to gather the equipment, he spoke after a moment of thought…Also partially not even noticing the words to escape him.

“It suits you”, he mused, half to himself, but glanced at Sofia whose working figure stopped and she turned to give him a wondering look. Balian smiling again. “Motherhood.”

There was realization in Sofia’s eyes until she gazed down, gradual but tender smile creeping on her lips as well as he continued.

“I’ve never seen you as happy as you are with Kalilah. And it makes me glad…that you found her again. It has changed you.”

Sofia sighed, staring into her lord's eyes momentarily until turned around again. “To better or worse?” she questioned sarcastically. But both Balian’s gaze and voice caused her amusement to swiftly vanish, her once more pausing in middle of now adjusting the mess that was his desk.

“To better.”

Sofia returned her lord’s stare for a moment until tilted her head, affirmatively. “Well it is true that I enjoy it”, she confessed. “Being a mother…To know there is someone who needs you. Who looks upon you with such tenderness, and loves you no matter what kind of person you are…That is what she has given me. Unconditional love just because I am what I am. No questions asked, no judgment or contempt…Just mere affection.”

Balian’s hand stopped in middle of bringing the cup to his lips and his eyes rose back to Sofia. Even he couldn’t see her face right now him knowing her to be smiling gently to herself, for she was clearly happy…And her words made him think…Balian now placing the cup on the desk, him taking a step towards Sofia who heard him approach, facing him. Their eyes locking and Balian then measured her for a moment, silent.

“My lord?” Sofia soon called after a short silence, her voice smoother. Causing Balian to take another step forward, him still gauging at the young woman, until her gaze eluded him and she discovered the rock from the table. Letting out a new laugh, breaking Balian free of his daze as she then walked by his side, taking the stone and examined it that same gentle smile on her lips, weighing it in her palm.

“You kept it”, she stated a bit skeptically, giving the man a brief look. “You really don’t have to. She probably won’t even remember to have given you this, my lord. You may throw it away.”

“I can’t”, Balian objected, looking at the rock in amusement. “If she is anything like you, I don’t dare to think what would happen to me if she were to find out me not to have it anymore.”

Sofia gazed at the round rock as raised her eyebrows, until then cast a mildly miffed sideways glance at her lord. “What, because I am impossible to handle, my lord?” she asked, now amused herself. Balian frowning.

“You’ve heard…” he stated, a quizzical hint to his voice as he averted Sofia’s gaze now a bit awkwardly, although smiled in the end. Sofia nodding.

“Almaric told me.”

“Right…”

They then spent another moment in silence, gazing down in their private musings. Both smiling to themselves, until Balian’s eyes rose once more to eye at this young woman he'd met over half a year ago. Realizing the time to surely fly, but for the first time ever he now felt to be looking at the real Sofia he hadn't yet gained a glimpse of until this moment...Not before Kalilah had come into their life. That child to have brought out Sofia's true self, and Balian smiled thoughtfully but somewhat delighted at this thought.

“I should thank you my lord”, Sofia said then suddenly, looking at Balian who met her gaze in wonder of his own. But she was but sincere as she then specified her words, eyeing at her lord thankfully. “Almaric also told me you to have asked the people of this manor to keep my secret for themselves, now when they seem to know who I truly am. So thank you. You have made me feel much calmer. Safer.”

“I promised you”, Balian reminded. “To keep your identity as a secret. So you don’t have to be afraid. No one outside this house will find out who you are.”

“Thanks to you, my lord. I am grateful for your kindness, but not only towards me, but for my daughter as well. Thank you for being so patient with her, even it is not your responsibility to entertain her every whim.”

“Not at all. She’s a lively child, it is impossible not to like her.”

Sofia smiled in new amusement and gazed down, thinking, Balian once more finding himself observing her in his own ponders. But then Sofia straightened.

“Well it is very late. I should leave”, she remarked, giving Balian another brief look as went back to the tray to retrieve it. “Shall I leave the cup or have you finished?”

“It is fine. You can leave it.”

“Alright. Good night, my lord.”

“Good night…”

Balian now watched Sofia to walk out of the room. But not until she'd vanished from sight and he'd heard the door close he dared to release the deep sigh that had built up in his lungs.

“Sofia”, he said quietly, frowning and turning around, leaning on the table.

What was it that Sofia occasionally stirred in him? This odd, torning and confusing feeling that often manifested whenever he was around her frustrating him as Balian didn't know was it similar to what Sibylla made him feel on brief occasions, or was it something that was present at all times but he couldn't only notice it? Balian sighing and dragged a hand across his face until sat back behind his desk, giving in. He had to finish the bookkeeping as quickly as possible or a whole night would pass.

* * *

Over the course of the passing month everyone in Ibelin came to adore Sofia’s little girl, and she soon became a normal sight outside, either sprinting about the yard after her mother or playing with Darcy and the other children. Kalilah proving to be a very happy child by nature and her laughter carried far whenever she was running around clumsily, that much as she could run. But she tried.

Sofia often sent her smiles as saw her run over to Balian at work, or to show Zuleika something she'd found, while she herself was occupied with hanging laundry or other equally mundane everyday tasks, which at some point took all her attention so that she didn't have time to watch for Kalilah’s each move. But usually she was never alone, but she either was with the other small children or played with the bigger ones, and of course Darcy was never too far away from his new charge. And if Kalilah ever stumbled and fell during her games and begun to cry, or was bullied by the other kids, Darcy was always there to chase them off or to lick Kalilah’s face clean to make her laugh again. Bringing the crying to its end. Darcy to have become as protective over Kalilah as Sofia, and Balian like everyone who often heard the girl’s laughter ring in the afternoon air usually saw the spaniel trailing the girl’s every step. As a proof of him to have taken as great liking to Kalilah as her mother.

But if others weren't free to watch Sofia’s daughter when her own attention was directed elsewhere, Balian indeed found himself to be always there to observe her. Even in middle of work his eyes following Kalilah around when she was busy catching butterflies with Darcy, gathering flowers, or when she was walking about the premises hand in hand with Sofia. More often than not Balian starting to smile at the sight of her insisting to be allowed to work alongside her mother, Sofia usually giving her a basket of clothespins or something light she was able to carry to satisfy her desire to assist her. And Kalilah did, looking so proud while strutting at her mother’s wake with her load, at such moments also Sofia eyeing at her in great amusement.

Balian didn't only keep an eye on the small girl during the weeks that followed. But as Kalilah had turned out to favor him out of everyone, always running over to him and requiring his attention, it soon also became the most usual sight to see Balian ambling around the estate with Kalilah, the child sitting at the bend of his arm. Also often when Sofia couldn't take care of her, for example during short trips outside the main lands, Kalilah usually following Balian wherever he went. But almost daily he walked about with her out of his own volition, as well showing her different things that she found interesting…For Kalilah’s great attraction to him wasn’t one sided.

The more time passed, soon another month, he started to notice how attached he'd become to this small girl who wasn’t even his own daughter. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he wouldn’t be able to go about his days without hearing her happy voice call out to her every morning once he would look down from the balcony and see her at the yard. Praying with her mother, waving at him. Smile rising to his lips every time he saw Kalilah get excited about something, or whenever she'd started to mimic Sofia over various tasks even if she was too small to actually execute them, once showing Balian how she weaved baskets. But even Kalilah adored Balian, still the one she loved the most was of course Sofia. And she loved Kalilah as much.

Balian was turning the ground with Almaric and a couple of other men for a new field, when Kalilah’s joyous outcry woke his attention and he glanced to his left. To see the said girl to be sitting on Darcy who was scampering around with dangerous looking speed, a group of other children running at their wake. The alarming sight causing Balian to freeze, and he was about to rush to go grab Kalilah from the spaniel’s back, but Sofia beat him to the chase. Dropping the bunch of fresh herbs she'd been placing to dry, dashing over to her daughter.

The children stopped running in disappointment, however soon staring at Sofia a bit frightened once she snatched the girl into the safety of her arms. At first giving Kalilah a bewildered glance, until looked pretty much like a mother when she turned to eye at the older children who by the looks on their faces were responsible of putting Kalilah on top of Darcy. Balian being able to hear her scolding voice speaking in quick Arabic all the way to where he stood, and he now relaxed and let out a relieved breath. Ghost of smile appearing once more on his lips as after he was given a water skin from Almaric he watched Sofia to next reprimand Kalilah, the girl looking embarrassed and she apologized. But soon enough Sofia was smiling at her and Kalilah laughed as Sofia raised her up and spun her around, before placed her to her bend of left arm and crouched to pick up the fallen herbs. Sofia handing them to Kalilah who cleaned them, before returning the sheaf back to her mother. And in such fashion Balian followed the two to work, until gained a light hit of a mattock on his arm.

“Hey. Work!” Almaric’s voice urged, reminding him of the task at hand, the man raising his brows at his lord. But as Balian then took a hold of his own tool again and continued, Almaric gazed at Sofia and Kalilah in turn. Sighing, shaking his head and gave his lord one more significant look before continued their toil himself.

* * *

Kalilah giggled as Sofia swung her a little while she was walking along the corridors, heading for princess Sibylla’s quarters as promised. Sofia looking down at her daughter tenderly as she let out another hysteric giggle, only turning louder as Sofia then made a spin, the girl flying around in an small circle.

“ **Again! Momma again!** ” she insisted, jumping up and down once Sofia had set her down. But even Sofia smiled at her she then picked up the laughter of Sibylla’s servant maids who were waiting at the door for their mistress’ guests to arrive.

Sofia had started to converse with her daughter in Arabic, as close to immediately after her recovery Zuleika had begun to teach it to Kalilah, and it amazed Sofia how quickly she'd learnt to understand and speak the language. Figuring her to have perhaps grown up around it even before coming to Ibelin, but in the end she was only happy that her daughter knew how to speak her mother tongue in addition to the one she'd probably been mostly surrounded with.

Sofia sighed but now turned more earnest, shifting her focus from the awaiting maids to Kalilah. **“Not now. Now you have to be a good girl like mother told you to be, alright, Kalilah? We go meet the princess, so you have to act ever so nicely. Will you make mother proud by behaving?”**

Kalilah nodded officially, turning as well serious. **“Kalilah will, momma!”**

Sofia made a soft chuckle, breaking into a smile. “ **Good**.”

Sofia returned Sibylla’s servants’ curtseys as she entered the princess’ quarters, her being led to the balcony where Sibylla was sitting while one of her servants was painting a henna tattoo on her hand. But once Sofia and Kalilah arrived Sibylla, who'd so far been gazing over the rail at Balian’s working figure, then turned to face them. Similing at them.

“I already thought you would not come”, she said, slightly amused, until her eyes dropped to Kalilah who'd frozen at her mother’s feet. Staring at Sibylla in awe, for Kalilah knew who she was as Sofia had often told her not to bother the princess, but even she wasn’t timid by nature she still was kind of dazzled upon meeting a real princess. Despite of being so small her to have understood this person to be Balian’s houseguest and someone of great importance…Not someone to be disturbed in the same manner she spent time with Balian.

Sibylla’s smile was now kind as she raised the hand that had been painted by the maid to extend it towards Kalilah, beckoning her closer.

“Come”, she urged gently, Kalilah looking up to Sofia to ask permission and she smiled, smoothing Kalilah’s curls before nodded in consent. Sibylla's endless smile turning welcoming as Kalilah then did walk over to her, Sibylla examining the child, soon enough also caressing her long, curly hair. Comparing her to her young mother, before Sibylla’s eyes eventually flickered back to Sofia.

“She looks like you”, she noted. “She doesn’t have much of her father in her.”

“No, my lady”, Sofia responded with a smile. Sibylla looking at her remarkably.

“Sibylla”, she corrected and Sofia remembered, bending her head apologetically.

“Oh yes. Forgive me, my lady Sibylla.”

The two women exchanged smiles, until Sibylla then only looked at Kalilah.

“ **What is your name, little one?”** she inquired, in a very mother like manner as well as if she was speaking to her own son, using Arabic this time for she had heard the mother and daughter to converse with the said language. Kalilah smiling brightly.

“ **Kalilah!** ”

“ **It is good to meet you finally, happy Kalilah. It is a very beautiful name your mother has given you. I am sure it suits you more than any other**.”

Kalilah smiled again, nodding, Sibylla returning it. But then she happened to glance at the light scar that was visible on the girl’s neck, soon finding another to peek from under her tunic, Sibylla trailing the scarring all the way to the girl’s hands and she realized not but a couple of months ago or so this girl had laid dying due to some serious injuries, which had now left their mark on her skin for all eternity. Pity taking hold of Sibylla's heart of a parent momentarily, but she then swept Kalilah’s cheek with her hand, smiling wider, before halted to eye at her only halfway painted palm. Soon enough directing her eyes back to Sofia, quizzical.

“Do you know how to make henna, Sofia?” she queried, surprising the young woman a little, but she nodded.

“Yes.”

“Then would you finish this? I would be grateful and we could talk at the same time.”

Sofia nodded once more with a smile, the maid who'd started the henna tattoo now standing up and curtsying to her princess before gave her seat to Sofia. Her placing the small tray she'd brought along on the table before Sibylla.

“I brought you some cooled tea, my lady Sibylla”, Sofia informed, taking aback the princess this time.

“Momma’s tea is good!” Kalilah cried out happily, both women looking at her at Sibylla’s feet. Sibylla tilting her head in amusement, narrowing her eyes.

“Is it?” she questioned, eyeing at Kalilah. “Then I must have a taste.”

Sofia sat down to the same chair the maid had used and took the abandoned brush, Kalilah then hurrying to her and climbed on her lap. Sibylla smiling at the sound of Sofia’s light sigh, but she allowed Kalilah to stay on her lap as her arms circled around her, her other hand taking hold of Sibylla’s gently while the other begun to press small dots on her pale skin. Sometimes dipping the brush into the paint. Them then saying nothing for a while as Sibylla simply sipped her tea, after a few minutes of observing Balian thoughtfully her then following Sofia’s hands as they worked on her tattoo…Her then finding the sight and overall situation somewhat strange.

“You know what you are doing, clearly”, Sibylla remarked, her voice as pensive as was her voice. “Have you ever served a lady like me before becoming lord Balian’s personal servant, Sofia?”

Sibylla now detected something in Sofia’s eyes, but couldn’t name it as then the said young woman just smiled, shaking her head.

“No. My lord is the first person I have served as a personal servant”, Sofia replied, and it was true…In a way. Kalilah looking up to her mother in confusion, where Sibylla seemed to turn even more wondering over her reply.

 **“Servant momma?”** Kalilah asked indeed baffled, but Sofia didn’t answer.

“That is peculiar. I could swear you must’ve seen this done before as you are so secure with your hands”, she mused now out loud. Sofia saying nothing to that either but simply smiled again.

Yes, she'd seen these kind of tattoos to be made for her older sisters, as she'd been too young to have one back at the time, as well as many of the other slaves back at the place she’d been living between buyers. And once she'd turned sixteen her master of the time had decreed that she must’ve carried a henna tattoo as well, as a reminder of who she truly was. Him to have been kindest of her masters, if that could be said about a ruthless warlord…But as a man, he'd been the most gracious out of them all.

Another silence descended upon them as yet again Sibylla examined this young woman she'd found familiar for so long, ever since she'd arrived to Ibelin and after she'd first met Sofia at Jerusalem. Sibylla now inclining her head in interest, recalling the rumors her servants had picked up from the residents of the manor.

“I hear you are called Amira by these people”, she started, Sofia finally looking up, where it was Kalilah’s turn to be surprised.

 **“Is momma a princess?”** she asked, now smiling excited. But Sofia only gave her a look that was gentle, but which the girl knew to mean she should stay quiet. Despite of Sofia’s dismissive expression Sibylla then looking somewhat suspicious as well, especially after overhearing the girl’s words.

“Yes indeed…” she mused, now tilting her head to the other side as gauged at Sofia more carefully, tardy smile tugging the corners of her lips. “Is she truly?”

Sofia stayed serene, although felt similar kind of passing horror deep within her once she came to ponder whether the princess had finally recognized her, even her star tattoo was completely covered by paint like it usually was…So from that at least Sibylla couldn’t have made the connection, Sofia now gazing back down, creating a circle with the dots onto the back of Sibylla’s hand.

“That is the nickname of mine yes”, she admitted, making a couple of dots before dipping the brush into the paint jar. Sibylla not seeming fully convinced by her indifference, but what she said next surprised Sofia.

“I believe that the reason for such nickname is very real”, she remarked, locking gazes with Sofia, Sibylla's ensuing smile somewhat hinting as she studied Sofia’s reactions…To discover whether her suspicions were right. “Could the reason be…that you yourself have once been in a station to have had henna painted on your skin, _Amira Sofia_?”

Sofia cringed inwardly, but said nothing in response, just returning Sibylla’s gaze. Had she only known Sofia to indeed be in a position to be her husband’s mistress…But as well as for many things Sofia was thankful for God to have not allowed that to happen. Against Sofia’s intentions for a fleeting moment Sibylla finding the answer directly from the younger woman’s eyes even she said nothing to confirm her insinuations. This even further sparking Sibylla's interest.

“They say you carry the Star of Jerusalem”, Sibylla continued, leaning back. “Which is said to be related to the lost daughter of Saladin…To princess Adilah, Amira Sofia…”

Sofia released a sigh, her hand stopping amidst painting a flower and she looked up to Sibylla briefly.

“Are you not the little Adilah, Sofia?” Sibylla inquired, this time surely. “I remember you. The small girl playing with Saladin’s youngest sons and daughters while my father along with Tiberias was negotiating peace with your father. I was there too. And I remember your laughter which reminds me so much of Kalilah’s…And your eyes which were blue, despite of your family’s that all had dark brown.”

This time Sofia exchanged a remarkable stare with Sibylla, until could bring herself to speak. Solemnly, although like before Sibylla saw the true answer from her always so vivid eyes.

“No, my lady, you are mistaken. I am not Adilah, the lost princess and daughter of Saladin”, Sofia responded, smiling, then dropping her gaze back to the tattoo she was making. Sibylla examining her a little taken aback until then sighed herself, smiling as well, looking over the rail.

“Yes, I see. You are Sofia”, she consented. Sofia smiling at her response, but still said nothing. Sibylla next scanning the now visibly verdant landscape until her eyes found Balian again, who was making his way towards the house along the small riverbank that ran across the fields. Smile instantly litting up her features as she gazed at the young baron, clear yearning in her eyes, but then a certain thought sprung back to her mind. Causing her to glance at Sofia, who had once more concentrated in painting…Missing the alluding manner the princess was now observing both her and her daughter.

“Lord Balian…” Sibylla begun, peering at Sofia, who raised her gaze to her quizzically. “…is he Kalilah’s father?”

Sofia’s hands ceased again, but this time for slight shock and she locked gazes with the princess. Not being able to read the current expression in her irises that were measuring her, which was rare, as Sofia had always been able to see into people’s minds through their eyes alone. Sibylla’s inquiry to have left her speechless nonetheless, and once she didn’t respond the princess looked back at Balian.

“It would only be rational to deem so, as one sees her attraction to lord Balian…and his equal attachment to this girl”, Sibylla mused, facing Kalilah who was playing with her mother’s much longer hair than her own, making messy, clumsy braids. Sibylla smiling, a bit wistfully, now perhaps even a slight sad edge appearing in her voice as she continued, her gaze dropping briefly. “Whenever I see lord Balian with Kalilah…it only makes me think it is father’s love I see in his eyes. And he brought you along with him to Jerusalem…So I cannot help but wonder whether you share a much stronger bond with each other than it appears, if Kalilah has been born out of it.”

Sofia stared at Sibylla stunned, bemused, but soon sighed and shook her head, smiling incredulously.

“Kalilah loves my lord like a father…” she answered, meeting her daughter’s gaze briefly, until pressed a few more dots on Sibylla’s knuckles. “…But no, Kalilah is not his daughter. He is just kind enough to care so much for her, although she is not his child.”

Sibylla’s countenance showed mixed feelings for a fleeting moment as she eyed at Sofia and then at Kalilah, but mostly in her eyes there was surprise…For she'd been sure Balian to share a blood relation to this girl, even though Kalilah didn't look like him at all. But now once Sofia had proved her conclusions wrong Sibylla let out a small sigh, her gaze what else but drifting over to Balian…As Sofia then observed, in distinct relief.

“That is good to know…” the princess stated absentmindedly. Sofia’s hands stopping once more, her having strange look on her own mien in turn as she stared down, thinking, until it was Kalilah who woke her from her daze.

“Balian!” she shouted, spotting the familiar man approaching from far below herself and jumped on her mother’s lap. Smiling widely, waving with both of her arms. Sofia looking up and saw Balian to turn towards the balcony, also noticing Kalilah. And she could've sworn to see a smirk to rise on her lord’s lips as he waved once back to the child, Kalilah jumping once more on her spot until then leapt down. Starting to race towards the balcony doors that led into Sibylla’s bedroom.

“ **Kalilah!”** Sofia called, the girl stopping instantly, turning around. Sofia’s current expression demanding as she tilted a quizzical head at her daughter. “ **Where are you going?”**

“ **To Balian, momma! Kalilah will help him work!”** the girl answered, Sofia sighing and was about to stand, putting away the brush.

 **“Kalilah, mother has told you that you cannot bother lord Balian all the time while he works”** , Sofia reminded. **“Now stay put and wait until mother is ready…”**

“I am sure it is alright”, Sibylla cut in with a smile, as one who as well had witnessed Balian’s joyful expression upon seeing Kalilah. “Nasira can take her to him.”

Immediately the said maid bowed, the one whose place Sofia had taken just a moment ago, and with a light curtsey to her she took a hold of Kalilah’s hand and led her into the manor. Sofia sighing resigned, but after she’d turned her attention back to the tattoo she soon heard Kalilah’s all so familiar laughter emanate from the yard as she ran towards Balian. Nasira jogging after her with Darcy, who immediately had dashed over to the girl upon seeing her, Balian seeming surprised, but he crouched to receive her and took a hold of Kalilah. The two women following from the terrace as he hoisted her straight up and placed her to the usual place at the bend of his arm, both Sofia and Sibylla smiling, before Sofia then placed the last brown dots on Sibylla’s palm.

“She is a beautiful child, Sofia”, Sibylla complimented. “Energetic and sweet. You should be proud.”

Sofia sighed for the second time and turned her eyes back to her daughter, seeing her to be now carried by Balian towards the farther parts of the estate as he shouted some orders that however were lost to the wind. Sofia soon smiling at the pair imperceptibly.

“I am, my lady Sibylla. **Thank you.”**

Sibylla thought a moment until then her own smile turned amused. Her taking the brush Sofia had just cleaned and now in turn claimed Sofia’s hand gently, rolling up her sleeve. Surprising both her and the maids eyeing at them from inside the room, as Sofia next followed in confusion Sibylla to press the tip of the hardened brush onto her skin, looking up to Sofia playfully.

“Princesses should look the part, Amira”, Sibylla remarked, her voice as well amused. “And undoubtedly you are one, were you just Sofia or not.”

* * *

“Balian quickly! Quickly!!” Kalilah shouted for the umpteenth time as ran along the side of the small river that circled across the estate, urging the man walking behind her to hasten his steps. Balian letting out a low laugh as looked after her, watching her gaze into the running stream her mouth open for awe at the sight of her reflection.

Apparently Sofia had cut Kalilah’s hair, as it didn't reach past her waist anymore like her mother’s, but only to her upper back. But instantly after realizing this Balian then turned thoughtful. When had he begun to notice such things in Kalilah? Well, perhaps the whole time ever since he'd gazed into her eyes for the first time…For she'd truly become everyone’s _kalilah_ , but mostly Balian’s.

Kalilah’s laughter in his ears Balian then pushed his hand into the running water in thoughts, until his gaze rose to see how a small boat was floating towards them in the river. Same kind that had been placed in the stream by the children the day the watering system had been built, Balian snatching it in his hand on a whim. Examining it for a moment until brought it to Kalilah, who was still inspecting her mirror image in the water, Balian smiling as crouched down again. Showing the boat to her.

“Come here”, he urged, extending his arm, Kalilah staring at the boat in new astonishment as took those couple of paces distancing her from the man. Balian pulling her in front of himself, handing the boat to her.

“Set it free into the stream”, he instructed, Kalilah nodding. And together they bent down and placed the boat back in the water, it continuing its journey downriver. Kalilah jumping for excitement and laughed, looking at Balian who returned her smile until stood, taking her hand and they begun to trail after the boat as it drifted along the water.

Balian stepped over the stream, raising Kalilah over it too with just one arm that caused her to laugh again. But then both of them soon stopped as gazed at the small wooden vessel, Balian sighing as followed it to finally disappear to the distance, and then he spent a moment to eye at the much changed scenery in satisfaction. The once dry and lifeless lands that now were green and full of life…His lands.

“Balian?” Kalilah then called, squeezing the man’s hand. Balian gazing down at her, smiling at the girl who looked now somewhat wondering. Her suddenly so dour become expression causing Balian then to frown, as he hadn't seen her but laugh and smile the whole time he’d known her. Such a look being a strange one to see her wear, Kalilah clearly pondering over something really hard for her…Something she couldn't understand.

“Yes?” Balian inquired. Kalilah still thinking a moment her forehead deeply wrinkled, until looked up to the man she now so much adored.

“If momma is my momma…” she said, Balian frowning again but listened. “…who is my papa?”

Balian was dumbfounded by this question, it surprising him as something he hadn't anticipated to hear her ask. But he next looked away, turning a little grim himself. Yes, who was her father? Not like Balian would have wanted to know, as he didn’t, but to Kalilah it must’ve been quite hard for not to have a father…A real father. Because of course Balian was nothing but a substitute for a real parent…This thought then making him a little sad, but he smiled. Not showing his own malaise to the already anxious child.

“I don’t know”, he answered truthfully, meeting Kalilah’s eyes that looked into his disappointed. “But I know that you have a mother who loves you more than your father would’ve ever loved you.”

“Really?”

Balian nodded, smiling. “Really.”

* * *

Balian and Kalilah strolled back to the manor, Zuleika arriving to greet them. And concluding by the sudden fidgeting of the girl Balian figured she wanted to go to the older woman, who was nearly as important to her as her mother. Zuleika pretty much treating Kalilah like her very own grandchild, although she herself wasn’t all that old. But in Balian’s observant eyes she'd come to act as a mother to Sofia, and hence pampered her daughter as if she were her own relative.

Zuleika bowed to Balian who nodded, letting Kalilah down and she ran to Zuleika who scooped her up in turn, smiling.

“There you are! Your mother said you to have gone off somewhere with our lord, but asked me to give you your bath upon your return while she was away”, she said, rubbing noses with the small girl who giggled. But Balian then frowned in bafflement.

“Away?” he questioned, Zuleika nodding.

“Sofia left to town to buy some supplies we noticed to have nearly ran out”, she explained, however then noticing a flicker of worry to appear in her lord’s eyes.

“She left alone?” he asked, Zuleika again nodding but this time thoughtfully.

“She did. I offered to send my Ismael with her but she said it wasn’t necessary…Although I told her it to be unwise for her to go on her own.”

Balian then said nothing as without responding he headed for the manor, entering and quickly rushed to his room to change. Indeed unable to allow Sofia to go to town by herself, for anything could happen there, especially when she had to hide her true identity. And for a lone woman alone it was foolish to go there without anyone to protect her should something go wrong. Balian removing his shirt in haste before dipped his head into the water bowl, knowing that he had to find Sofia before anything could happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Name translations: Nasira (helper), *Kalilah (sweetheart)


	13. Guy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN:
> 
> I've shifted the arrangement of the movie scenes a bit in this chapter, and as a byproduct made Guy more of a bad guy…But it went well with my plans ;)  
> ________________________________________
> 
> Phrases written in bold; Arabic  
> Phrases written in italics; thoughts, memories, quotes

**“Salaam alaikum.”**

**“Alaikum salaam.”**

Sofia smiled at the old man who extended her the jar of honey she'd just bought from him, bowing slightly before turned around. Placing the jar into the basket amongst the other purchases, quickly analyzing the collected supplies she'd found from the market. Yes, she now had everything she needed to return back to Ibelin.

With a satisfied sigh Sofia lifted her head, turning it a little to feel the strain in her shoulders as started to walk through the marketplace, eyeing at all the jewelry and carpets and the many other products on display absentmindedly as walked by, on her way to her horse that she’d left tied by the house she’d acquired accommodation from for last night after her arrival. But as Sofia went round a group of local men smoking hookas at the end of the busy street, turning to right, she didn’t see as a certain figure spotted her. Watching her with his gaze, eventually starting to follow her, blending amongst the crowd so that Sofia didn't notice him.

Sofia avoided a child who ran past her, a dog trailing his steps, it causing Sofia to smile as she watched them to vanish behind the nearest corner. Her recalling the moments she'd watched Kalilah to run away from Darcy like that, and she sighed again. Captivated by her memories for a few seconds as bettered her hold of the basket, until her eyes then happened to focus on a quite good looking fruits sold in middle of the street she was crossing, immediately her legs taking her there. Sofia raising one tangerine at a time, inspecting them.

Kalilah loved tangerines, and would be happy if Sofia returned with a few, so Sofia picked three to four best looking fruits and bought them. But as she then turned and placed them into the basket with the rest of the purchases, she heard a familiar voice calling out to her. At first faintly due to the loud commotion of the market until it became clearer, closing in on her.

“Sofia!”

Sofia frowned and glanced about her vicinity, finally finding her lord from the multitude of people. And she seemed surprised as Balian was elbowing his way over to her, his expression instead somewhat tense.

“My lord?” Sofia asked as Balian stopped before her, her quickly bowing with a puzzled look on her face. “What have you come here for?”

“Looking for you”, Balian answered, gravely. “You can’t come to town on your own. What if someone would’ve recognized you or your tattoo?”

“It is alright. It is covered so there's no need to worry”, Sofia reassured. And as Balian looked at her lips he indeed saw them to be covered with that same reddish paint to hide the dark mark of a star. But even so he still sighed, not finding it wise for her to have left to Jerusalem alone.

“Regardless I don’t want you to come here anymore without having someone to escort you. Anything could happen to a lone woman like you, so don’t come here without telling me. Understood?” he emphasized, baffling the woman. Sofia saying nothing and just took in Balian’s features, which were but serious when his gaze was locked with hers for the next few seconds. In wait of her consent, and she did then nod in understanding.

“Yes, my lord.”

Balian nodded as well, then glancing around a bit, in the end letting out a long, exhausted sigh. Sofia now shifting her examination to his clothes and noted him to be quite dusty and sweaty due to the journey he'd made in clear haste. Her then sighing herself at the realization of the man to have rushed here to simply keep an eye on her, doubting whether the man had gotten proper rest during hid hurried ride, and convinced that he hadn’t she then threaded the large basket onto her left arm. Her right one taking a hold of Balian’s own.

“Come. You need to wash up, my lord”, she prompted, starting to walk, Balian following in wordless concur. Like often her remark was rather accurate this time too...

They left the marketplace and soon found themselves at the more sparsely inhabited part of the town, after some time ambling about the secluded streets Sofia then glancing to one of the narrow alleyways. Smiling, suddenly coming to a halt before leading Balian there.

“It’s here”, she said, setting the basket on the ground and walked a couple of steps forward, until soon beckoned towards a small water cistern coming out of the wall. Her next extending her hand to receive Balian’s robe, which he did remove and hand over to her without asking, Sofia taking off her scarf once Balian knelt next to the water container. Starting to splash water on his face and neck, feeling better immediately. Him letting out a half sigh and rubbed his eyes, leaning on the container with his forearms.

“Are those for Kalilah?” he asked out of the blue, hint of smile in his voice. Sofia nodding after a brief confusion once she noticed her lord to eye at the fruits in the basket.

“I thought she would enjoy them. The days have grown unnaturally hot lately”, Sofia replied, Balian smiling in turn.

“And she loves them…Tangerines.”

Sofia was a bit taken aback that her lord was aware of this, but without giving it much thought soon started to smile again. Stepping next to him and handed him her scarf to dry himself with.

“It is all I have to give you at the moment, my lord”, she said, Balian opening his eyes and glanced at the scarf in Sofia’s hand. But just as he was about to extend his hand to take it he noticed Sofia to flinch, him next gasping himself as he suddenly felt cool metal to slip over his neck. Familiar, and very distasteful voice starting to speak from behind him.

“The perfect knight…” it said, full of mockery. “…is that what you think you are, is it?”

Sofia cringed away as found herself face to face with abruptly appeared Guy, who now directed a nasty look at her. Slashing his hand sharply to force her to back away from him.

“I knew this Saracen wench would not stray far from you, so I decided to come ask you this….” Guy continued, Sofia now returning his fleeting gaze with hard eyes, until he was staring at Balian again. “So? Is that what you see yourself as? The perfect knight?”

There was rage on Balian’s mien as instead of acknowledging Guy he just stared forward at first. Silent, Guy stepping away once Balian eventually flipped the hilt of his sword away from his artery, Balian now sighing and rising to his feet by taking support from his own weapon he’d unfastened from his back. Sofia about to go stand before him, but gasped again when Guy slammed his blade straight against Balian’s, causing him to stagger a little backwards for surprise. But Balian then only looked at Guy in irritation before walked out of the narrow street, pushing Sofia aside while met with Guy head to head. Guy whacking his weapon against his again to antagonize him, people gathering around them to behold the starting skirmish. Sofia wrinkling her brows and she after all walked closer, anxious, where Balian now pointed at Guy with his blade.

“We are all of us what we do”, Balian stated as an answer, not the least threatened. But clearly annoyed by his reply Guy then drew another weapon from a sheath behind his back and swung around. Attacking Balian, who however was ready for him his sword held up high in a stance. Sofia’s heart lurching as she followed them begin to fight one another, Guy pummeling Balian in plain anger…Sofia not believing him to detest her lord so much as to engage him out in the open like this.

“My lord!” escaped her lips as she let out a fretful breath, doing so at each vicious blow that was delivered against Balian’s blade. Watching helpless how her lord was forced to defend his life against this despicable man she'd come to hate from the bottom of her heart. Sofia flinching now for plain fright as Guy managed to punch Balian, him flying backwards against a pile of crates stacked next to a nearby wall, giving Guy the opportunity to strike. But Balian swung his sword around in an arch, Guy dodging his attack and retaliated by landing a hard hit against Balian’s weapon. The power of it causing him to fly back against the wall, but he avoided Guy’ incoming lunge that had been directed at his head, the blade missing by making contact with the tiles instead of him with a clang.

Guy coerced Balian to retreat towards the end of the alleyway, and now amongst the quick lashes of his two blades he succeeded in slicing Balian on his arm. Him cringing back briefly for pain, dropping his guard down long enough for him to gain another cut on his other arm during his lingering attempt to defend himself. Sofia freezing.

“My lord!” she exclaimed, in alarm, instinctively stepping forward to intervene. But she was instantly thrown back by Guy’s random swing that still was aimed at her to keep her out of the fight, passing horror flickering in Balian's heart as he now heard Sofia to cry out. Him watching her to crash against the wall in turn due to the scare of the strike, while grasping to her bleeding shoulder.

“Sofia!” he called, concerned, but couldn’t help her as Guy attacked him even more furiously. Now slashing his weapons so that he caused Balian to swing around and bump against the wall again, him however standing up immediately once Guy’s principal blade came down. Crushing the jars on the small table against which Balian had fallen. Sofia standing as spied her lord to escape a direct hit to his neck just barely, squeezing her wound as watched Balian to jump back when Guy’s sword sliced the air in front of him. Sofia's breathing coming out as broken gusts due to the previous scare she'd experienced, but which hadn't yet left her completely when she could now but observe from the sidelines how Guy was going to possibly kill her lord…Without Sofia being able to defend him, for she was weaponless.

Balian twirled around as one more randomly aimed swing of a sword missed him, delivered in such anger that it made some of the Frenchman’s attacks rather sloppy, but he then crossed Guy’s blade with his again. The exchange of hits continuing all the way to the end of the street where some dyed fabrics had been hung to dry, but which now got dusted and torn as the two men stroke one another in a series of fierce bouts. Balian now managing to hit Guy after deflecting his sword with his own, kicking him. Balian leaping forth before bumped his head three times against Guy’s, Sofia coming closer and eyed at them unnerved, glancing between them from a small distance away.

Guy retreated against the hanging cloths, but soon enough directed a couple of strikes at Balian, which he received. Until Guy then smote Balian one more time, him this time dodging the blade instead of staving it, turning around and retreated himself in middle of the cloths. And in a blink of an eye he attacked as well after avoiding yet another thrust of his adversary's weapon, Balian finally managing to cut Guy who now staggered back a bit due to surprise of the steel that sheared him. Meeting Balian’s gaze briefly.

Sofia had stiffened on her spot the moment Guy got hit, but she made a worried frown as not much fazed Guy instantly attacked Balian, not admitting defeat, them sparring again with heavier but yet powerful blows, until then suddenly they paused after Guy’s latest strike was deflected. Balian taking his usual stance his father had taught him, where Guy’s sword pointed at Balian’s front from below. Them staring at each other. Sofia letting out a fearful breath, until then spotted the glimmer of steel on the ground and she inched towards the men. About to sneak over to grasp the small blade Guy had dropped, but Balian shot her a deterring glance.

“Sofia, stay out of this!” he shouted, causing the young woman to freeze in middle of her attempt to seize the blade. But she then jerked back immediately for fright as Guy let out an angered holler, attacking in blind rage, but Balian countered his assault with two strong blows. Causing his blade to fly back before Balian sliced at Guy with a third swing. Lastly slashing his stomach with another strike once Guy fell back, bringing an end to the fight as his opponent's weapon fell to the ground along with its wielder.

Sofia now released a deep, strained sigh as she saw Guy fall on his knees in disbelief, panting, his bloodied hands on his lap before he folded his arms around his torso in pain. Balian standing above him his sword raised, also panting, eyeing at Guy in contempt. Fuming. Sofia taking a step closer, then another as Guy looked up to Balian but scornfully, bowing his head.

“Do it”, he spat derisively, Balian's arms twitching upward to bring the blade down, to possibly kill him.

“My lord no!” Sofia exclaimed again, Balian halting and turning to look at her with a slight frown, meeting with her pleading but gentle eyes. Her arms rising to grasp his, Sofia shaking her head at him as Guy then peered up to her in turn. Bewildered that a woman and no less a Saracen was saving his life, but unaware of his disdain Sofia only gazed into Balian’s eyes, wrinkling her own eyebrows.

“No, my lord. You are a better than this…” she said softly, exchanging a short stare with Balian who hesitated. “You are a good man. You don’t have to kill him.”

Balian turned his once more angry eyes back to Guy, pondering. But then also he shook his head slightly, eventually dropping his blade. Sofia sighing in relief, glancing at Guy.

“When you raise again…” Balian said, letting out a weary huff. “…if you raise… _raise a knight_.”

Sofia had detected austerity in those last words but Balian’s hateful expression then vanished, replaced by mere indifference as he gazed over the man. Guy eyeing at him in bewilderment once more, but was then but peeved once the tip of Balian's sword trailed down his throat as a warning. Him soon enough moving it away at the behest of Sofia’s hand that had clasped around his arm, letting out another sigh, Sofia giving Guy one more a bit wary but still proud look before Balian walked away, her soon following in tow. But Guy, who'd now gotten a chance to return her stare for more than a fleeting moment and examine her then abruptly called after her.

“Woman!” he bellowed, causing both Balian a little farther away and Sofia only a couple of steps away to freeze, but she angled her jaw once she could feel Guys’ gaze to settle upon her. Her releasing a nervous breath and slowly turned around as she heard Guy stand back to his feet, where Balian twirled around to send them a concerned, tense gaze. His blade rising again automatically as Guy examined Sofia one moment more until took a step closer to her. Sofia taking one back, Guy driving Sofia against the wall again and she turned so that Balian was left to stare at their profiles intently. Balian noticing Guy's gaze to be fixated onto something on Sofia’s face as he next halted in front of her, leaning closer.

Sofia didn’t express any fear but stared back at Guy with hard eyes that revealed nothing to him. Balian twitching as he now followed the man to raise his bloody fingers, them hovering over Sofia’s lips briefly, until he swept over them with his thumb. Him to have noticed the other edge of her tattoo that had revealed itself under the faded paint, Sofia cringing due to his gesture and her eyes were now visited by passing fear as Guy wiped away the rest of the red color, Sofia watching how his eyes widened for surprise. But then they were filled with realization, calculating expression taking over his features as he soon reached a conclusion. His gaze rising from the symbol tattooed to her lips to direct an owning look deep into her eyes, causing her to flinch.

“You…are _mine_ ”, he stated the regrettable truth, Sofia frowning distressed and she instantly slipped away from him. Balian cringing in turn at the sound of Guy’s baffling, possessive remark until he then strode back over to upset Sofia once Guy continued, imperiously.

“You are _my_ property woman. I have paid quite a remarkable amount of money for you”, he said, stressing his words. “And now I know you…Those eyes…You were that man at the harbor of Messina. The one I vowed to kill if I ever came upon him again my sword with me!...And you were the woman at the Pilgrim camp in Godfrey's tent.”

Sofia let out a breath, speechless, so harried by Guy’s covetous bluster that his presented claim in fact left her in a state of slight panic once he was now staring at her, at her tattoo, aware of who she was. But she then felt Balian’s arm to wrap around her shoulders, and after one last grim stare leveled at Guy he took Sofia with him. Swiftly walking her far away from that alleyway….And Guy.

* * *

Sofia was treating Balian’s wounds in silence, them not even looking at each other, Sofia's attention strictly directed to the bloody ulcers she was cleaning. Balian to have taken Sofia several streets away from the place they'd had that unpleasant confrontation with Guy, as injured or not after finding out who Sofia was Balian feared the man to attempt to take her with him…Which would be the last thing he would allow to happen.

Balian cringed as Sofia placed the scarf onto the unbound slice of a sword after washing it in the fountain she'd seated him on. Balian then casting his gaze up to her to examine her, Sofia's stoic features not revealing her thoughts, nor did her eyes this time, which were as blank as her current expression that made it impossible for Balian to figure out what she was thinking. Him then pondering a bit until soon smiled slightly, nodding at the cloth in her hand.

“I’ll ruin your scarf”, he stated sarcastically, Sofia not raising her own gaze but made a faint smile herself.

“Then you should buy me a new one”, she replied as a mild jest, Balian nodding in consent.

“I shall.”

Sofia sighed, starting to cleanse the bloodiest of his injuries. “No you shall not. There is no need for that, and these wounds have to be cleaned or they’ll be infected and you develop a fever.”

Balian gazed at the similar kind of injury on Sofia’s shoulder, trailing her skin sidelong under the torn sleeve, born out of Sofia’s instinctive attempt to shield herself from Guy’s hit by averting the weapon. Him now raising his forefinger, sweeping it over the cut gently.

“This as well”, he stated, sternly. “If it weren’t for me you wouldn’t have been there to be harmed.”

“The only one at fault is Guy de Lusignan”, Sofia answered, Balian noticing the way her voice quivered a little due to the mention of the man, until she bypassed his remark with a shake of her head. “I shall take care of my wound after I’ve treated yours, my lord.”

Balian didn’t respond as glum thoughts had taken over him. Him following Sofia’s hands as they wiped away the blood and dirt, pushing the scarf into the fountain repeatedly to soak it in the water that started to turn red from his blood. Him then frowning tensely as watched small ripples of red to form to the surface, broken by Sofia’s hand that plunged the scarf back under.

“Was it Guy?” he abruptly inquired, looking into Sofia’s eyes. “The nobleman you were to be sold to?”

Sofia stopped her doings and then only stared down for a moment, vacuous expression returning to her eyes, although within she now felt ashamed for her lord to have found about this fact she would've rather kept a secret from everyone…To have forgotten it herself.

“Yes”, she confessed after a curt silence. “He was to be my new master. About a year ago he had my former owner killed to have me for himself.”

Even though he'd asked himself, Balian was now so shocked due to this revelation that he was rendered speechless, him staring at Sofia in disbelief. But then rage took over him and he averted his gaze from her, his fingers squeezing around the hilt of his weapon, which he hadn’t dared to let go since the incident with Guy. Balian once more filling with that same scorn he'd harbored for the man for months as a thought of Sofia being in the hands of someone like Guy…it made him wish that he had killed him after all.

But then he remembered what Sofia had said. That he was too good of a man to take his life needlessly, as after all nothing of that he now found so repulsive had occurred thanks to his and his father's intervention back at France…So now calmed down a little by this notion Balian released an furtive sigh, Sofia resuming to treat him.

“Should he come to claim me, he would have a right to do so”, Sofia stated then, Balian’s eyes snapping up to her in surprise and in slight bewilderment. Sofia’s hands stopping again momentarily as fear over this possibility made an appearance on her mien.

“He has no right to claim you”, Balian contested, in dismay.

“He bought me”, Sofia remarked. “Like I said…Like he said…I belong to him. I only serve you, my lord, because that is what I decided in my heart...Even the truth is that I am not free to make such a decision.”

Balian frowned. “Those men holding you were never paid for delivering you, as you never arrived to Jerusalem with them”, he reminded, his voice softening a little. “So no, Sofia, Guy has no entitlement to you. And if you say it is your heart’s desire to serve me, then how could I allow him to take you?”

Sofia’s eyes rose to Balian in surprise, but she soon frowned in turn in mere confusion. Her measuring Balian’s set features which were as serious as were his eyes, him next placing his hands over hers, staring at her reassuringly.

“I won’t hand you over to him even if he would try to claim you”, Balian promised, resolutely. “As everyone living in my lands you too are under my protection, and I’ll defend them with all I have…as I shall defend you.”

Sofia didn’t respond but just stared back at her lord, whose gaze was now sincere as it met hers. And for a curt moment Sofia did feel relief fill her, but the recollection of Guy’s face and words after he'd found out who she was resurfaced in her mind, and she was again filled with dread. Balian feeling her fingers to clench into fists under his and she now looked down, closing her eyes briefly, until made a sad smile with a sigh. Her now rising from the ground to sit beside him on the fountain and rinsed the scarf again, this time bringing it to his face to wipe the blood away from his brow.

“You give me too much value, my lord”, she then finally said in response, surprising Balian as he eyed at her skeptically. But her expression was once again serene, although he knew she probably wasn’t at all calm within. Sofia smiling.

“As you mentioned you are responsible of over 100 families”, she stated. “And should Guy come and demand me for himself, and instead of delivering me you would protect me as you say…then others might get in the way. You know what kind of a man he is…And he loathes you. He would not be satisfied by just killing you next time, if that would be the case, and would slaughter anyone whom he’d assume to bring you harm…”

Balian gave Sofia now a bit compassionate look as he did see her point. Admitting that maybe there was a hint of truth in her remark, which made her this worried…Afraid, her words working as a direct indication to her fears of Guy coming to get her someday, this notion causing Balian now to sigh. Sofia eyeing at Balian questionably as he all of a sudden grabbed her hand gently, pulling it down from wiping his face, until he claimed the scarf from her.

“I am fine Sofia. Here, let me…” he assured, looking down at Sofia’s injury as took hold of her arm, turning her around as gingerly. Washing the scarf in the fountain now himself before tugged Sofia’s sleeve down a bit, placing the scarf onto the diagonal cut on her skin. Her not even flinching once the wet fabric made contact with the wound but she only sighed, gazing forward after gave his caring hands a grateful glance.

“Thank you, my lord”, she did then say quietly. Balian looking at her but said nothing and only nodded, next concentrating on cleaning Sofia’s ulcer, but soon took notice of the henna tattoo that peeked from under her sleeve around her wrist. Balian quirking his brow at his discovery.

“Where did you get that?” he queried, now pulling up the sleeve to eye at the tattoo. “Have you always had this?”

Sofia tilted her head. “Lady Sibylla made it for me.”

“Sibylla did?”

“Yes.”

* * *

“My lord what has happened?” Almaric questioned as Balian and Sofia rode through the gates of Ibelin the following day, Almaric seeing the blood on his lord’s clothes and finding some more to have dried on Sofia’s dress, Balian dismounting as met his right hand man’s gaze.

“Guy”, he sated simply, in vexation, before turned to Sofia’s horse to help her down. But she shook her head, raising up her hand in denial.

“No, my lord. Your arms are injured”, she reminded. But instantly after saying that she looked only sad again as instead of her hand handed the basket to Balian who nodded and received it, stepping away once Sofia slid down from the saddle. Latif taking hold of her horse’s reins and she then turned to Balian again to take the basket, but this time Balian shook his head. Pulling it from Sofia’s reach.

“It is fine. I will take this inside”, he promised, earning a faint smile from Sofia.

“I’ll come treat your wounds properly after you have enjoyed dinner”, Sofia told him, Balian nodding as a reply.

Sofia then grasped her hem and started to walk towards the entrance, but Kalilah’s sudden shout stopped her at the stairs and the said girl ran from the yard, only to stiffen once she noticed the blood over her mother. Balian frowning as watched Kalilah to be startled by the sight and she started to cry, Sofia lifting her daughter up and hushed her, soothing the crying child softly in Arabic. Them going inside the manor.

“What is wrong with Amira, my lord?” Almaric inquired, glancing at the younger man as folded his arms. Almaric observing Balian to turn grim.

“It is nothing”, he stated, now also starting to walk towards the entrance after giving Latif an order to take the horses to the stables. Balian climbing the few stairs to the front door and as he entered he noticed Azusa who stepped forth immediately, bending down to remove his boots. But Balian stopped her, shaking his head and instead handed the basket to her.

“Take this to your aunt. They are the supplies Sofia went to acquire”, he urged, Azusa nodding in consent and she turned, vanishing behind he corner on her way to the kitchen. Balian instead sighing as he ambled inside absentmindedly, until he soon saw one of Sibylla’s personal maids to be standing near the terrace, as if waiting. And immediately upon seeing him enter she waved at him to come over to the balcony, Balian obeying, and the moment he'd stepped outside the maid closed the lattice doors behind him. Balian glancing back at them in slight surprise, until he next took notice of a bowl and two cups next to a jug that had been placed on a table in the middle of the terrace. Inside the bowl him finding water, rose petals scattered into it, two pitchers of oil also sitting beside a pile of clean linen.

And not but a second later Sibylla joined him at the balcony, stepping outside from a side door, Balian turning to look at her in her casual white robes and he smiled, even a bit amused at the tryst she’d seemingly prepared for his arrival. Sibylla returning his smile but then turned swiftly worried due to the sight of him.

“Where have you gotten that blood on you?” she questioned, glancing at Balian’s white shirt that had red stains all over it, until her alarmed eyes moved over to the now visible wounds on his arms as he had rolled up his sleeves to give them air. Balian gazing down briefly.

“Guy”, he revealed, looking into Sibylla’s eyes and saw the surprise in them. Her then saying nothing but walked the rest of the way to him and took his hand, sitting down and pulled Balian with her, seating him onto the cushions placed around the table. Sibylla next dipping a handkerchief into the rosewater, and for Balian’s dismay she then begun to cleanse his face from the remaining traces of blood and dirt which Sofia hadn’t had the time to clean once Balian had insisted upon the treatment of her own wound. Sibylla moving on to wipe his forehead and not long after Balian leveled a quite bewildered look at her and pushed her hand away, glancing at the servants standing nearby remarkably, fearing the woman’s actions to appear more like an indecency than an act of good will. Sibylla instead gazing back at him questionably due to his reaction, Balian beckoning to the observing maids with a furtive tilt of his head and seemed rather awkward as matched the princess’ stare. Signaling her to stop with his then downcast eyes.

“This isn’t adultery”, Sibylla reassured, leveling a remarkable look at Balian instead after glancing at her maids watching them from between the slits of the lattice doors. “It’s washing.”

Balian exchanged another short stare with her until gave in. Holding back a sigh as still somewhat uncomfortable stayed still, letting the woman have her way and gazed out to the faraway desert while Sibylla resumed her cleaning.

“But if it were adultery”, she continued then, Balian quirking his eyebrow slightly as Sibylla looked at him in a significant manner. “…which it _isn’t_ ”, she emphasized. “…the Commandments are not for people like us…They’re for the others.”

Sibylla’s eyes had now widened slightly as she smiled playfully, teasing him. Balian keeping his own gaze cast down until soon smiled a bit amused himself, looking up to the princess.

“Did they give you something to eat?”

“The woman, Zuleika tried…” Sibylla answered, even further amused now as straightened while drew the cloth out of the bowl. “…for she feared I would starve before you would come back from your trip…But I said to wait until the master returned.”

Balian eyed at Sibylla for a moment, examining her before he then returned her smile faintly. Them next sitting in brief silence until Sibylla soon broke it, her own smile widening.

“My cook will prepare something while you wash”, she announced, surprising Balian again as she now disposed of the cloth back into the bowl and stood. Her fingers brushing over one of his ulcers lightly before she was back on her feet and waltzed back inside the quest house, Balian sending a look after her until turned then thoughtful himself.

Balian took the handkerchief into his own hand and dipped it into the rosewater, starting to swab the still remaining dry blood away himself. Worry however then springing into his mind again after a short absence, and the cloth was curtly closed into his tightening grip. Guy knew. He now knew who Sofia, Balian’s supposedly ordinary Saracen servant, truly was…And it was least to say that it frightened him as much as it must’ve bothered Sofia to think what the man would now do with such knowledge.

In frustration Balian tossed the cloth into the bowl and rose, sighing. Him glancing at the door Sibylla had exited through in curt hesitation over her earlier promise of dinner but still turned, going back inside the house himself. He was not that hungry to wait for the food to be brought.

Balian went upstairs, about to go to his quarters, but the open door of Sofia’s room woke his attention and he paused. Soon walking towards it on an impulse, entering after a light knock, only to find the room to be dark as the candles had been all blown out by the wind. Only a couple of incense containers spewing out their strong scent into the room. And as he went further in he saw both Kalilah and Sofia to be sleeping on the bed, Darcy mixed in with the lot by laying between them, his head resting on Sofia’s knee. The dog giving Balian but a quizzical look this time around upon noticing him to approach.

Sofia was still laying on the bedspread, probably to have fallen asleep amidst of lulling Kalilah, who caused an instant smile to spread over Balian’s lips when he saw her curled against Sofia’s side. Sofia’s another arm slung over the bed, where the other rested on her stomach that rose in calm rhythm of her breaths. Her still having her travel clothes on, apparently too exhausted to have changed out of the bloody gown.

Not being able to resist Balian walked all the way over to the bedside. Eyeing at the pair, but mostly Kalilah who was squeezing something in her small arms, and Balian was surprised to discover it was one of his shirts. Wondering where she’d gotten it from him then letting out a sigh, shaking his head, sitting on the edge of bed until spotted the silky blanket at Sofia's feet. Reaching for it until yanked the blanket over, covering Kalilah and lastly pulling it over Sofia as well. But then she let out a long, content sigh and turned on her side, her arm automatically circling around her daughter’s small frame, and as if in agreement Kalilah then also shifted on her spot. Letting out a sleepy moan too and rolled over, her back now against Sofia, while her arm then rose, staying by Kalilah’s face.

Balian was all smile. He'd never seen anything so…soothing in some way. Him releasing another silent sigh, tilting his head as then swept Kalilah’s hair out of her face, the small girl moaning more in her sleep. Balian musing what was it that she dreamed of, thinking that maybe she was running around with Darcy or trying to catch crickets at the garden with the other children…A low chuckle making its way up his throat as he then gazed away, the spaniel giving him a slightly warning glance as if to say Kalilah to be asleep.

But Balian’s eyes then shifted over Sofia’s sleeping form again, and his lingering gaze made him think. Knowing that he'd partly stepped into this room to see whether she was alright, but when he looked at her now…she looked so peaceful with Kalilah that he couldn't imagine there to be a single concern or anything bad weighing down her mind. But no matter what she allowed to be seen outside, Balian knew that she’d been startled by Guy discovering her true identity. This thought leading him now to wonder what was it that she was dreaming about…

Balian leant forward, eyeing at Sofia from a closer range. Finding that she was truly fair, realizing it now as he gauged at her so carefully for the first time ever during the time they'd known each other. But still what made her the most attractive were her eyes that now were closed…And she was a good mother, even for someone as young as her.

She never yelled at Kalilah and raised her voice only on rare occasions, but still she was able to make Kalilah obey and behave nicely with only gentle scolds and slight stern looks, which always morphed into a smile. So, what really made Sofia attractive was her nature rather than her appearance, and at the moment like many times before upon watching Sofia and Kalilah together made Balian happier…And he couldn't deny that seeing them like this made him yearn for that which he'd lost…Would he be ever able to have a life similar to this?

Balian now eyed at the henna tattoo on Sofia’s wrist, and before he noticed it he was trailing the intricate design with his fingers, until sighed for the third time and bend down. Placing a peck on Kalilah’s forehead, the girl muttering something in her slumber before turned around again, curling back into Sofia’s safe chest, the two resuming to sleep peacefully. Sofia releasing another sigh as well until shifted her head on the pillow, causing her hair to fall over the bed’s edge.

 _Good night_ , Balian thought with a smile, stroking Kalilah’s curls a little more until rose to his feet, looking at the dog who raised his head the moment he stood.

“Watch over them”, Balian said quietly, smirking briefly once Darcy gave him quite a self-important look, letting out a snort. Balian then walking out of the room, closing the door behind himself soundlessly not to indeed wake up Kalilah, for she was after all small and her slumber was yet quite light.

Once in his quarters Balian threw his sword onto the bed after picking it up from the front room it had been left by one of the servants, letting out a tired breath. Finding the past couple of days to have been quite exhausting…But he then flinched for pain as recalled the broad wounds while leant on the table, placing a bit too much pressure on his injured arms and realized Sofia to have fallen asleep before treating him like she'd promised…But he next let out a soft laugh, straightening upon inspecting the gashes. What, was he just a child? He could handle these wounds like he had handled every injury in his life so far…

Balian circled the desk and lit some candles, not feeling like sleeping yet. But instead he sat down on the bed and pulled out the sword from its sheath, which was still covered in Guy’s blood. And so feeling slight irritation Balian then chose to ignore his injuries for a moment longer and took a strip of drenched cloth, this time starting to wipe the blade clean instead. But after awhile a soft rustle woke his attention, coming from the other room.

Balian raised his gaze, thinking in some part of his mind the comer perhaps to be Sibylla who'd arrived to ask him his reason to have vanished from the terrace. But instead he saw Kalilah, rubbing her sleepy eyes as stood at the doorway in her nightgown, still holding his shirt in her hand. Balian frowning in confusion, but then remembered the bloody blade and quickly put it away, recalling how scared Kalilah had been after seeing blood on Sofia.

“You should be sleeping”, he said gently, wondering how that real nurse of a spaniel had allowed Kalilah to leave Sofia's bedroom. But Kalilah now toddled over to him, restless look about her.

“I had a bad dream”, she mumbled with her a bit faulty way of speaking, stopping next to Balian’s knee. Him eyeing at her tenderly as she now grabbed his dirty shirt he neither had yet changed into a clean one, Balian sighing and took hold of her in turn, hoisting her to his lap.

“What was it about?” he asked.

“It was about momma…going away…” Kalilah answered, taking Balian aback. Going away?

“Momma had blood on her clothes today…” Kalilah kept on talking, squeezing Balian’s shirt even tighter. “Kalilah fears…that momma is going away. Leaving Kalilah again. Like Kalilah was before momma came. Alone…Kalilah…does not want to be alone…”

Kalilah’s voice was now but scared, her coming close to cry for anxiety, where Balian felt only pity for her. Was she thinking something so solemn as the death of her mother? Balian bringing the girl closer to himself.

“Your mother is not going away”, he reassured. “She would never leave you again. You won’t be alone.”

“But what if she goes away?” Kalilah insisted, like children did, enthralled by her greatest fear. “What if…one day Kalilah wakes up and…momma’s not there. What if momma or Balian are not here when I wake up?”

Balian gasped a little, frowning again, but then he sighed. Smoothing Kalilah’s head as smiled at her. “We will not leave you”, he promised, looking at Kalilah as indeed broke into a heartening smile. “Nothing is going to happen to your mother. I promise.”

Kalilah pondered over his words for a while until tugged his sleeve. “Balian was hurt too. Kalilah saw. Will Balian leave Kalilah?” she inquired, her features now serious as her round eyes were riveted to the man, who honestly was surprised to see her to be suddenly this distressed over a thought of him vanishing. Fearing it as much as the loss of Sofia, Kalilah looking so much like her mother now with those eyes which were filled with fear, looking at him so helplessly…But then Balian only felt joy to take over him and he shook his head, sweeping Kalilah’s jaw.

“No”, he replied resolutely, smiling. “No I won’t. I’ll stay with you. I will not go anywhere.”

Kalilah’s moment ago so anxious expression was then brightened by the smile Balian had learnt to know by heart, adore the most in her, him ruffling her curls a little. But then Kalilah suddenly became excited, standing up in his arms.

“So Balian stays with Kalilah? With momma?” she asked, causing Balian to stiffen momentarily. “Will Balian protect momma and Kalilah?”

Before responding Balian gazed in front of himself, thinking, as Kalilah’s big eyes were cast down at him expectant. Her not even as much as blinking until Balian soon nodded with a smile, locking gazes with her.

“Yes. I’ll protect both of you”, he agreed, a beaming smile spreading on Kalilah's lips. Her then hugging Balian’s wide chest, her small arms not even reaching halfway to his back as she squeezed him tightly.

 **“Kalilah loves Balian”** , she said quietly in Arabic, but although it was as well said in that unclear manner of a two year old Balian still perfectly understood what she said. And her words couldn’t have made him happier, which in a way shocked him…To become so happy over such a small child’s affection. But he then only closed the girl into his arms, his heart turning lighter.

“You have to go back to sleep”, Balian urged and looked at Kalilah seriously, placing her back on the floor with a prompting tilt of his head. “Your mother will be startled if she doesn’t find you in the morning.”

“Kalilah does not want to sleep!” Kalilah argued, pouting a little, until it changed into that same overjoyed smile she always wore. Her jumping on her spot so that her curls bounced, anchoring herself to Balian’s knees. “Kalilah wants to stay with Balian!”

Balian frowned in protest, and even he didn't know it he now also gave the girl a look that pretty much would be a look a father gives to his petulant daughter once she doesn’t obey. “Your mother will worry”, he repeated. “And you need to sleep. Go back.”

Kalilah matched Balian's stare in defiance, not moving. “No! I want to stay here!” she objected, Balian’s stricter tone having no effect and she simply smiled again. “Let us play! Let us play something with Balian!”

So after all Balian had given up, allowing Kalilah to stay, and she was now sitting on his bed as he himself had gone to fill a washing basin with water. Listening to Kalilah’s humming voice as it tried to sing songs Sofia probably used to sing for her every night while putting her to sleep. And one of them Balian recognized too, as the melody was the same as in the lullaby he'd heard Sofia sing to Kalilah the evening the girl had been brought to Ibelin for the first time. Two months to have already passed since that…

Suddenly Balian heard a crash and he gasped out of his remembrance, turning around and saw his sword to be now laying on the floor. Kalilah reaching down to it as the one responsible of dropping it, Balian’s eyes widening and even he knew it was impossible for the two year old to manage to take out the blade or even lift the sword properly, he still rushed to snatch the weapon away from the girl. Kalilah giving him a disappointed look, where Balian returned it with a scolding one. But then familiar sound of nails tapping against the floor could be suddenly heard from the proximate room, and it didn’t take long until Darcy’s dappled fur came to sight as he hurried inside the bedroom. Scampering over to the bed.

Balian arched his brows. He'd probably just woken up in Sofia’s room and realized Kalilah to have disappeared, instantly taking off in search of her. And as expected Kalilah started to laugh when Darcy jumped against the bed, letting out a low bark and licked her face. Balian instead letting out a breath and put the sword down.

“Watch her”, Balian ordered, this time stressing his words as walked back to the washing basin, placing the sword on the table beside it.

Balian finally removed his filthy shirt, about to wash himself simply with a towel as even Kalilah was only a small child, he still didn't like the idea of her sitting there in his bed while he bathed. Besides feeling himself too tired to prepare one either, and he reckoned the wounds wouldn't have liked soap at the moment. Balian sinking his hands into the water before scooped some on his face, doing just some superficial washing to get at least the majority of the remaining sweat and dirt off. Kalilah to have started to play with Darcy on his bed and he now directed a fleeting amused look behind his back, following them for a while, until placed his arms over the basin. To carefully wipe the wounds one more time, but then his ears detected a yawn, and as he turned around he saw Kalilah’s cheeriness indeed to have mellowed and she was dozing off from time to time.

Balian finished his washing and poured away the water, then walking over to the closet to take out a clean, green shirt, putting it on after wrapping a temporary bandage over his wounds. Darcy to have been already tired out by the previous romping and was laying on the bed relaxed, where Kalilah was sitting on top of him, pulling his ears. Begging him to play, Balian smiling at the two, until closed in on the bed. Kalilah forgetting the dog immediately upon seeing him to come over.

“Let Kalilah see the sword!” she exclaimed, although it was obvious she was tired. Balian hesitating but she turned very excited now by the idea, jumping on the bed.

“Balian is so strong with the sword!” Kalilah continued, Balian frowning again in wonder. But then he recalled to have seen Kalilah watching with Sofia how he'd been sparring with Almaric for practice a couple of times, and due to this realization he sighed at her. Kalilah's eyes now turning pleading and she grabbed his shirt again this time with both hands, yanking it.

“Please! Balian is so good and strong with sword!” she whined, smiling. “Kalilah wants to see!”

Balian dithered for another moment until then gave in to those eyes…Discovering to have been doing that quite a lot lately. Shaking his head him now going back to the table, pulling out the blade and quickly wiped away the remaining blood until returned to the bed. Kalilah letting out a giddy sound, where Balian rolled his eyes at himself. If Sofia would only know what he was about to do with her daughter…

Balian climbed into the bed as well, now leaning his back onto the headboard as Kalilah settled into his lap again. Balian pressing her against himself as raised the sword for her to see, holding it in his hands before the girl so that she could gaze at it. And Kalilah did, staring at it in awe. Her soon stretching out her fingers to touch it, but Balian’s gentle hand stopped her.

“Careful”, he urged. “It’s sharp. You might cut yourself.”

Balian placed Kalilah’s palm onto the flat side of the twin edged blade, guiding her small hand over the metal slowly, until she did it herself, being as careful as she could. And in this fashion Balian allowed Kalilah to inspect the whole sword, but all the time observing her movements so that she wouldn’t be hurt. Yes, Sofia would've probably killed him for this…Or rather made sure his following morning’s bath water would boil him alive…Balian letting out a laugh for this thought.

“What is it?” Kalilah asked, looking up to Balian as did Darcy who surprisingly had jumped onto the bed and placed his head on Balian’s leg this time, but now lifted it to look at Balian in wonder as well. Balian smiling at Kalilah.

“Just thinking…of your mother”, Balian answered truthfully, Kalilah nodding.

“Kalilah wants to stay with Balian forever!” Kalilah soon exclaimed again after a slight pause, although it was followed by a big yawn that caused

Balian to smirk. She was about to fall asleep, and she now indeed curled up against his chest.

“Will Balian let Kalilah stay?” she queried once more, her voice fainter, her eyes starting to close. Balian turning now actually quite amused as she was talking like her mother once. So he indeed released a humorous breath but simply nodded, placing a light kiss on the side of her forehead.

“Yes.”

And soon after that Balian noticed Kalilah to be sleeping soundly in his lap, him examining her for a while in ponders. But even though his intention had been to return her back to Sofia’s room he soon fell asleep himself, and the next morning Sofia got the surprise of her life as she walked into Balian’s bedchamber. Finding her daughter asleep in her lord’s arms who had settled himself against the cushions while his arms had circled around Kalilah, Darcy lounging there too and the dog raised his head and ears, greeting her with a wag of tail.

Sofia halted in middle of the room, just staring, examining the two until eventually broke into smile. Her putting down the bath water before walked over to the bed, once more eyeing at Balian and Kalilah’s sleeping forms until sighed. So it was here Kalilah had disappeared to...Her should’ve known.

Sofia’s eyes then detected the shimmer of metal, and for her further surprise she now pulled her lord’s sword from under the pillow. Sofia eyeing at it until gave the man an incredulous raise of her brow, Darcy uttering a slight growl of concur. So this was going on when Sofia left her daughter in her lord’s care? Sofia gauging at the sword half judgmentally half amused, in the end placing it against the table until then sat on the bed. Shaking her lord slightly, starting to speak in faint voice not to wake Kalilah.

“My lord?” she called, Balian stirring from his sleep and then gasped awake, blinking his eyes open to see smiling Sofia.

“I brought your bath water”, she informed, glancing at Kalilah. “Will you be alright by yourself if I take her to my room?”

Balian also glanced at the sleeping child in his arms and smiled himself with a nod, carefully lifting Kalilah up and handing her to Sofia. Kalilah moaning and turned in her mother’s arms, Sofia giving her a gentle smile until stood up. Bowing her head.

“Excuse me then.”

Balian watched them go, before stood a bit stiffly and walked over to the buckets. Pouring the steaming water into the tub before once more removed his shirt with a content sigh. Finally, a true bath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *a hookah, according to the internet, is a pipe of some kind used in the Middle East. You can check it on google for better reference.


	14. Saladin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN:  
> This would be the next chapter with a fighting scene in it. Just for the heads up, as I promised to warn beforehand when there would be some more graphic violence. So this chap is RATED M just in case, but enjoy it nevertheless!
> 
> Phrases written in bold; Arabic  
> Phrases written in italics; thoughts, memories, quotes

Sofia let out a tired sigh, sweeping her sweaty forehead. She'd been collecting fruits for Zuleika’s needs and for today’s breakfast since the morning prayers at first light, and after three strenuous hours she was finally finished. By that time heat to have risen to chase away the chill of the old night, and she felt parched, for she hadn’t had a single drop of water after forgetting the flask Zuleika had given her to the kitchen.

Sofia let out another sigh as gazed at the large basket at her feet, rising well above her waist. It didn’t help…These fruits had to be taken to the house. So after briefly lamenting over the size of her load she grabbed the straps promptly and heaved the basket onto her back, starting to climb up the low hill leading up to the manor from the garden. But she was then surprised as Fahid, the youngest son of the man who'd collapsed during the water search, walked through the gateway and was now walking down towards her. A wide smile forming on his lips due to the sight of her.

 **“Good morning Sofia!”** he called and waved his hand, Sofia returning his smile and nodded, making a slight curtsey as much as she was able due to the heavy basket.

 **“Good morning, Fahid. How is your father?”** Sofia inquired, Fahid’s smile widening as he faced her.

 **“He is very well. Keeps telling me to invite you to have tea with us, as he misses your conversations”,** Fahid told her, Sofia shaking her head as resumed her walk.

 **“Only thing he misses is to be able to tell his stories to Kalilah, as his own sons are too old to have further interest in them** ”, Sofia told him sarcastically. Fahid laughing a little, following her.

 **“You are right. Well…how is Kalilah?”** he then queried in turn, Sofia detecting a slight falter in his voice. Him looking suddenly very nervous which caused Sofia to wonder, but still the same kind of gentle, motherly smile rose on her lips…The kind of which Fahid had seen many times while spying on the mother and daughter at times, in the end Sofia paying not much heed to his odd behavior as replied. Letting out a low laugh herself.

**“She is well. She spent her evening playing with our lord and this morning I found her sleeping in his room.”**

Fahid’s mien was now shadowed by some odd emotion and his gaze dropped. **“In our lord’s room?”** he stated. Sofia nodding, shaking her head again.

**“Yes. I really do not know how she has come to adore our lord so much, even he is not her real father.”**

They said nothing for a moment. But then Fahid raised his momentarily cast down, concerned eyes and smiled again, bringing Sofia to a halt as beckoned to the basket.

 **“Let me take that. It is too heavy for you”** , he offered, ever smiling, Sofia returning his gaze taken aback, but she then sighed. Giving in with a smile as well and frankly speaking gladly put down the basket of fruits, Fahid leveling a curt revering look at her until heaved it now easily onto his much stronger back with one hand. Them then continuing the journey towards the manor in notably more rapid pace, but as they soon arrived to the courtyard and ventured inside the house Sofia noticed that Fahid was holding a small bouquet of lilies. Having a realization as came to think of a certain young servant maid of Ibelin residence.

 **“Are those to Atia?”** she asked. Taking Fahid aback in turn as she then locked gazes with him, a smile in hers. Her eyeing at him now in a bit of a tantalizing manner, noticing the shift in his behavior that had turned him quite ill at ease again. **“I’ve understood that she loves you…Are you ever going to have a wife and ask her to marry you?”**

 **“No, I…”** Fahid started, confusing Sofia due to the sudden bewilderment and uneasiness that made an appearance on his mien due to this topic, until he then sighed. Stopping Sofia amidst their walk across the foyer and looked into her eyes utterly serious all of a sudden. Dropping the basket to the floor.

 **“Actually, Sofia, these are for you”** , he revealed, surprising the young woman even further now as Fahid handed the flowers to her. Wonderful fragrance coming from them as she gave them half a smile in her wonder, looking into the young man's sincere eyes in bafflement.

 **“Well thank you Fahid, they are beautiful of course but…why?”** Sofia queried, making another nonplussed smile and looked up to the young man quizzically as settled the bouquet at the bend of her arm. Assuming him not to be much older than her…Maybe a year or so. During her such musings Sofia actually gasping then once she saw how earnest Fahid had suddenly become, not long after him taking a step closer and took her palms, closing them into his.

 **“Sofia…There is something I have meant to ask you for a long time”,** Fahid begun, after gathering his courage during their walk back to the recidence from the gardens finally coming forth with the question that had been burning at the back of his mind for weeks now. Sofia continuing to gaze back at him in wonder as next Fahid sighed, before the happiest smile so far curved up his lips. Him taking another step forward as made his question, one that caused Sofia to stiffen in dismay.

Balian came across just woken up Kalilah as was making his way downstairs, him giving the girl a wide smile and raised her up after she'd ran over him across the corridor. Them then starting to descend the stairs together.

“Have you eaten?” Balian asked, glancing at Kalilah briefly. The girl shaking her curly head.

“No. Momma always makes Kalilah breakfast. But momma hasn’t come back from collecting fruits. Kalilah ran to look for momma, but Zuleika said she was at the garden”, she answered, Balian nodding.

“Then let’s go get something to eat.”

“Yes!”

Balian put the girl back on the floor and helped her go down the steps one by one. But at the end of the staircase he then happened to spot Sofia in middle of the front yard, standing hand in hand with one of the young men of the estate. Fahid, was his name? But Balian instantly recognized him as the same lad who’d developed an obvious attraction for Sofia…Such a notable one in fact that neither Balian had remained ignorant to the numerous whispers spread amongst the servants which spoke of the lad’s intentions to act on his feelings, which Balian hadn’t however been as certain about…until now.

Kalilah turned to look at Balian in confusion once she saw him stop onto the last step, gazing at Sofia with that young man. Making a thoughtful frown as noticed the flowers she was holding, until followed her to smile at Fahid whose usually so mellow features were clearly even further softened by gentleness…Even love, Balian could see it himself with a single look, and another thought sprung to his mind. Could this be what he deemed it as?

“Balian, why are you squeezing Kalilah’s hand?” Kalilah asked, causing Balian to gasp out of his thoughts and he gave the small child next to him a brief glance, until his observant eyes shifted back to Sofia again. To watch her now to sigh and smile at Fahid one more time until separated from him, turning away from him. Balian gauging at her as she was now walking towards them with a big basket in tow, but then his gaze traveled over to Fahid’s as well retreating form, the younger man soon stopping curtly and facing him, only to level a rather hard look at Balian. But then Kalilah saw her mother and whisked away his fleeting bafflement over the lad’s peculiar behavior.

“Momma!” she exclaimed, Sofia’s face litting up into a brief happy smile, but Balian had seen the reflective expression that had taken over her features not but a moment ago, and which then caused him to wonder even further once Sofia now crouched before Kalilah. Giving her a kiss.

“Good morning, my **_kalilah_** ”, she greeted her, brushing a feathery hand across her head, but then she glanced at the lilies in her hand. Odd look flashing through her eyes this time around, until it was hidden under mere tenderness once she next pushed one of the flowers into Kalilah’s curls, them exchanging smiles.

“The breakfast will be served in an hour”, Sofia then informed Balian, smiling to him too but only curtly, rising upright until with a curtsey she now turned without a word more. Starting to drag the basket after her, casting a passing glance at Kalilah. “Come to the kitchen with mother Kalilah. You have to eat.”

“Sofia let me take that”, Balian offered, letting go of the litte girl’s hand as his intention to claim the basket from the woman, but Sofia shook her head instead. Provoking more confusion in Balian and brought him into an addled standstill as she next clearly avoided his eyes, preventing him from taking hold of the basket by maintaining a firm grip of it herself.

“No. This is my work, my lord. You are not to interfere in it”, she stated. And with that she left, Kalilah following her after she'd waved at Balian. Where Balian only frowned, watching how with another strange look given to them Sofia dropped the rest of the flowers onto the nearest table.

* * *

Balian looked over the rail like many times before as drank some water, fallen into his ponders. Sibylla to have joined him for late breakfast about half an hour ago and they were sitting on the terrace again, when all of a sudden Latif came out of the house. Bowing to his lord and the princess, the hospitaler following right after him. Balian smiling due to the sight of the man who had yet again returned to visit his friend, and he greeted him with a nod. The hospitaler returning his smile as walked across the balcony before bowed to Sibylla himself, however looking quite surprised to find her to be still at Ibelin.

“Have a seat”, Balian urged, beckoning to the empty chair. The hospitaler placing his helmet on the table once a servant arrived to offer him a goblet, the man nodding his thanks. Seating, before begun to eye at the prosperous lands now spreading in front of his eyes…Which were a total mirror image of what he’d gazed upon a few months ago.

“You’ve done well here”, he complimented, locking approving gazes with Balian as took a piece of freshly picked fruit from a tray. “I cannot even recognize these now prolific plains as the same you father tried but failed to revive…Unlike you. He would be proud to see this.”

Balian smiled once more in gratitude, studying the lush, green scenery in turn, and experienced a sudden rush of complacency like so many times before upon beholding his accomplishments…For it would’ve been a lie to claim him not to have been proud of his deeds himself, as there had been a time when he’d regarded such a feat impossible to attain.

“It is indeed a clear miracle what lord Balian has achieved here only in four months”, Sibylla cut in with a concurring smile, slipping a grape into her mouth, inclining her head. “Yes, Godfrey would be really proud of his son…”

“Patch of dirt to build a new Jerusalem, was it?” Balian questioned in amusement, glancing at Sibylla who nodded. Balian and Sibylla exchanging a short stare which gave cause for the hospitaler to eye at them in a somewhat gauging manner. Discerning the evident attraction from the princess’ lingering gaze as she also measured Balian. The hospitaler having a realization until sudden laughter broke the befallen silence, Kalilah running to the terrace with Darcy in tow. Sofia walking right after them with a new jug of water in hand, Balian turning to give the girl a smile, and also the hospitaler shuffled around in his chair to watch her race over to the table. Chased by the spaniel.

“Well well”, he said, now eyeing at Kalilah in turn, who stopped due to the sound of his voice. “Haven’t you grown since I saw you last…Now, have you been a good girl or done mischief with Darcy to your mother’s chagrin?”

Everyone smiled due to Kalilah’s innocent, disclaiming expression as the then smiled. Shaking her head.

“Kalilah’s been a good girl!” Kalilah responded, Darcy letting out a confirmative bark, sitting next to the girl. “When momma says Kalilah to behave, Kalilah behaves!”

Sofia set the jug on the table for support, Balian smirking once he saw her roll her eyes slightly at her daughter’s reply, until she next raised the jug again and begun to fill the cups with cool water. The hospitaler looking at her rather mischievously as well until smiled himself, nodding to Kalilah.

“Then you are a good girl. Your mother has raised you well”, he agreed. Kalilah’s smile widening and she nodded, however quickly forgetting the man as twirled around and extended her arms towards Balian, who instantly abandoned his goblet onto the table to lift her up. Setting her on his lap after reclaiming his seat, his eyes sweeping over the lily, where the hospitaler instead turned to face Sofia.

“And how is our Amira?” he inquired, Sofia freezing curtly amidst filling his goblet and she gave the man a bit wary look, pausing.

“You know of my nickname?” she asked, amusing the man.

“They hardly call you with any other name in this house”, he stated back and Sofia rolled her eyes again, but soon she smiled. Making a brisk nod herself and resumed to fill his cup.

“I am well, thank you”, she answered, the hospitaler replying with a smile, until pointed to Kalilah to whom Balian was giving slices of tangerine he was pealing.

“She’s a very lively girl. I trust you are not exhausting yourself?” he wondered, Sofia laughing at this, as well eyeing at her daughter.

“Sometimes I think I am”, she replied truthfully, smiling, everyone once again joining her. But Kalilah took no notice of their discussion and only concentrated on eating the slices of fruit Balian had given her. At times reaching down a hand to drop Darcy a piece, who was sitting next to them faithfully in hopes of getting something from the table. But then Balian turned serious, shifting his focus from the girl to the hospitaler.

“How is it outside Jerusalem?” he asked, his current expression as severe as he locked gazes with his companion. The hospitaler’s smile now fading and he sighed, leaning back in his chair.

“Bloody. And terribly wasteful”, he told the truth. “As assaults against Muslims traveling through the land have been increasing now as well colonies of crusaders are being attacked by civilians…It is becoming more and more common these days, regardless of the king’s efforts to secure their safety within his kingdom…But hatred, as has often been seen, generally finds a way to overcome one’s veneration of fellow man.”

Balian made a curt nod as looked down, eventually finding his attention to be drawn to Kalilah again. Once more him remembering the day she'd been brought to his recidence severely wounded by Sofia after one of such attacks…Her as well recalling it as if it had happened but yesterday, and feeling an anxious sting in her chest Sofia leveled a bit concerned look at the hospitaler, frowning. But then Kalilah looked up to Balian with a beaming smile.

“Balian will take care of us!” she exclaimed, Balian’s stern countenance softening and the others let out a laugh. But what the child said next caused everyone to stiffen due to astonishment, where her mother was merely jarred by her guileless remark.

“Balian, Kalilah and momma will always be together here! And then Balian will be with momma and get married!”

Balian was rendered speechless by shock as he stared at this girl he'd come to care as his own, where Sofia had now completely frozen on her spot, some water this time actually spilling onto the table as with widened eyes she turned to Kalilah. Bewildered expression on her face as she next put down the jug and was by Balian’s side with only a couple of strides, taking Kalilah from his arms.

“ **Kalilah!”** she scolded and walked a little farther from the table before placed the girl on the ground, commanding as well as reprimanding look in her eyes that stared down at the child strictly. **“You cannot say things like that!”**

 **“But Balian said he’ll take care of Kalilah. And momma. He promised Kalilah”,** Kalilah answered still completely innocently, naïvely as only a child would think. Sofia glancing at her lord who was watching them an unreadable expression on his own mien, but then she sighed. Turning to Kalilah again.

**“Still you cannot say things that are not true. Lord Balian is not to be mother’s husband, and he is not your father Kalilah. He is there for you and takes care of you, but he is not your real father, and will not marry mother.”**

Balian listened to her redress, somewhat downcast to an outer eye until let out a long breath and looked away. The hospitaler noticing this and gave the younger man a new measuring look, until all eyes were riveted back to the mother and daughter at the sound of Sofia’s taut voice.

 **“Do you understand? Do not say such things so carelessly again, alright, Kalilah?”** Sofia stressed, but with a softer tone in the end as she swept the girl’s locks with her fingers. Kalilah however displaying a stubborn face and she looked at her mother in surprising defiance, which didn’t happen often. Her current expression so out of place in fact that it stupefied Sofia.

 **“No! Kalilah wants to be together with Balian and momma!”** she argued. **“Kalilah wants Balian to be with momma!”**

 **“Kalilah!”** Sofia snapped this time, her voice rising a couple of octaves, her warning tone causing the girl to stop immediately. It neither happening often that Sofia had to raise her voice to Kalilah, and she stared at her mother for a moment in honest confusion. Sofia sighing deep at her bewildered expression, closing her eyes momentarily, until gave Kalilah one more slightly stringent look.

 **“Have you understood?”** she asked, Kalilah gazing down, but eventually making a dejected nod. Sofia sighing for the third time until soon stood and turned to Balian, her smile only a faint one and fleeting as she bowed to him.

“I am sorry. She did not know what she was saying”, she said apologetically. Balian instantly picking up that polite and respectable tone that had taken over her voice after months of absence, which caused him to stiffen briefly in turn, until he returned her smile tensely. Nodding himself.

“It is fine.”

Like the hospitaler also Sibylla had been following the previous scene to unfold, and out of her made observations she quickly arrived to conclusions of her own. It to have been impossible for Sibylla to miss that longing look from Balian’s eyes the moment Sofia had scolded her daughter for talking out of turn, and now she felt a little dejected herself once there was but one thing she could make out of such look, even if only a fleeting, secret one...After a moment of silence her then straightening in her chair, smiling resigned, such emotion however kept from the people in her presence.

“I shall leave today”, she proclaimed, surprising the men and they turned to her, Balian gazing at her quizzically. Sibylla’s smile widening and she returned Balian's stare with a jovial look from under her lashes, to mask her gualms from the man whose full attention was on her once again. After exchanging another lingering look with Balian her placing her replenished goblet on the table and rose from her seat, Balian and the hospitaler also standing as she continued. “I have made myself a bother for you long enough…I thank you for your hospitality, my lord. I have very much enjoyed my stay here during these past months…”

Balian met Sibylla’s eyes with a new nod, smiling politely. Sibylla then nodding her head at the hospitaler in turn who bowed slightly, until Sibylla lastly turned to Sofia who instantly dropped into a curtsey.

“Can I spend some time with your daughter?” Sibylla questioned. Leaving the tableside and walked towards Kalilah, who so far had remained standing at the same spot Sofia had left her, sulking, but now looked up to the approaching princess who smiled at her briefly. “I’m afraid after this day I will not be able to meet her for a very long while…”

Sofia nodded her consent, silently pushing Kalilah closer to Sibylla with a gentle, guiding shove, telling her to behave with her gaze. And so with another faint smile Sibylla led the girl away, hand in hand, ambling farther on the balcony until eventually raised Kalilah up to sit on the banister and pointed at something at the distance. Kalilah seeming to cheer up by whatever it was they were then both marveling over together, giving the lily to Sibylla, but despite of the re-emergence of her daughter’s precious smile Sofia was eyeing at her in melancholy instead. The hospitaler examining Sofia’s profile to notice this change in her mood until his perusing gaze shifted back to Balian, to catch him casting rather fond glances at Kalilah, until his own eyes turned to look at Sofia…Regret in them.

“I hear one of the lads of this estate has asked your hand in marriage”, the hospitaler stated in interest, abruptly as took a sip of his drink, taking aback Balian whose eyes darted to him in passing bafflement before they moved over to Sofia in realization. So it was true. What he’d suspected after seeing Sofia with Fahid this morning while coming downstairs with Kalilah…Her eyes dropping briefly due to the memory, as a confirmation to the hopsitaler’s inquisitive remark, until she met the man’s gaze. Smiling, although she'd been equally surprised at first for him to already know about the proposal.

“Yes. It is true”, she admitted, shocking Balian. His features setting into a frown until he turned his eyes away. That was the reason behind her previous words to Kalilah? The reason why the girl shouldn’t hope for her to ever to be with him?

At this something shrunk in Balian. Deep within him, as his thoughts reeled back to remember the face of the young man who'd been attracted to Sofia from the very first day she'd arrived in Ibelin…Recalling to have seen Sofia with the lad at times, at the gardens or out walking in the fields. Talking, laughing, exchanging perhaps far more meaningful glances with one another than it had appeared…Was she going to marry him?

“And yet I also hear you did not agree”, the hospitaler continued, drinking some more as raised his eyebrows at the young woman. Balian’s gaze rising again as another surprise snapped him out of his musings once more.

“Yes”, Sofia answered, smiling again. “I did not agree.”

“Why ever not? As far as I can see he seems like a very respectable young man. He could take good care of you and Kalilah, of that I’m certain.”

Sofia averted the hospitaler's perceptive eyes by casting hers down, still smiling sadly, shaking her head. “No, my lord, he could not. And I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to make him so miserable as to be married to a woman who does not share his affection”, she explained, not saying anything else about the subject. Balian now eyeing at her contemplatively as the hospitaler nodded in consent.

“Well yes. That is an understandable reason enough, is it not?” he agreed upon making a question. To no one in particular, but he did turn to lock brief and yet somewhat remarkable gazes with Balian. Emptying his goblet while Balian made an absentminded nod.

“Yes. It is”, he agreed. But then his eyes shifted from the hospitaler to look straight into Sofia’s, but whose gazed away from him instead once she next curtsied somewhat hastily. Leaving the two men with themselves as exited the terrace. Only a sigh having time to escape Balian’s lips until she had vanished through the lattice doors, left with nothing else to do him then only gazing over to where Kalilah and Sibylla were…And the sight stirred up some mixed feelings in him.

* * *

It was yet another very scalding day …Everyone suffering for weariness under the ever blazing sun even though they now had an unlimited supply of water to drink from. But no amount of it seemed to refresh them enough, and the few hours spent in the sunlight were already growing wearing at midday.

“Take that and see what you can do with it”, Balian instructed Almaric, beckoning to the broken, and apparently not so durable wheel they'd just detached from the watering system. Almaric nodding in understanding, and dealing out a few commands he returned to the other men to carry the wheel away while the one to replace it was to be installed, once alone Balian sighing. Looking to the sky, realizing it to be around early afternoon and that he should’ve gone back to the house to wash up…To see Sibylla off when she would finally take her leave from Ibelin.

As once questioned by the princess, by then Balian had indeed come to understand why she had spent all these past months as his houseguest, for she obviously hadn't stopped by his residence as part of her journey to Cana…But although he knew fully well he didn’t know what to make of it. Yes, regardless of his reservations and expected reverence they had shared a kiss a couple of months ago and spent numerous evenings together, but nothing else had had time to occur between them, especially on that particular night as Sofia had interrupted them. Sofia…

Balian’s gaze now moved to the right, traveling across the terrain to stop to watch her hang laundry like many times before, Kalilah aiding her as other women were washing the clothes a small distance away. Balian following as Sofia swept her forehead with a tired sigh, her eyes closed, before bending down to take another shirt from the basket and placing it next to another until took out a bedsheet. Kalilah helping her mother by taking a hold of the sheet’s lower part so that the clean fabric didn’t get dirty in the dusty ground, while Sofia threw the sheet onto the line and spread it before herself, so that Balian could now only see her silhouette to cast a shadow on it once the sunlight filtered through the linen. But after a while she moved the same sheet aside, extending her hand to pick out a new piece of laundry. Kalilah then saying something, jumping to the air, and Balian watched Sofia to smile while at the behest of the girl she handed the tablecloth she’d just fished out of the basket to her, raising Kalilah up. Balian still following for a moment as in utmost seriousness Kalilah used thin pieces of notched wood to hang the tablecloth onto the clothesline.

Sofia reminded Balian of her late wife while watching her at work. Like his wife had always been at the garden once he'd been laboring at his blacksmith shop, and whenever he was following Sofia, who more often than not was accompanied by Kalilah who did all she could to help, he couldn't help but feel same kind of pride as back those days when his wife had still been alive…Back when he’d been much closer to being genuinely happy and content…Balian sighing at his ponders as well as this notion, which he now couldn’t bring himself to fully commit to despite to have believed so all this while. Hs eyes dropping momentarily in doubt of this, but as Sofia now put Kalilah back down her sky blue eyes found Balian’s.

“Balian!” she shouted excitedly like so many times before, starting to run towards him. Balian looking a little surprised, snapping out of his pestering ponders but smiled nevertheless, crouching to receive the girl into his arms.

Sofia was taken aback as well and she was freed from her own musings as she glanced to the direction her daughter had ran, indeed finding her lord to stand not all that far from her. But although the sight of him created mixed feelings within her and further stirred her already meandering thoughts, she smiled to herself as watched him extend his arms to close Kalilah into his embrace. Her attention quickly enough getting drawn back to the task at hand, but as Sofia bend down for another sheet, she could feel someone’s eyes on her. Once she raised her gaze again it was immediately seized by Balian’s, them exchanging a short stare. Examining each other until Sofia's lips eventually spread into a smile, after which she instantly looked down and took the sheet in her hand. Hanging it next to herself so that she was now hid from her lord's eyes, enclosed by three sheets fluttering in the dry wind, Balian straightening then as he stared at her shady form for awhile until separated from Kalilah. Standing, her looking up to him in bafflement, until saw Balian to beckon towards the manor.

“Go find Darcy and play with him”, he urged her, Kalilah smiling happily in response before did as bidded, running off to the direction of the house. It not taking long before the said spaniel ran down the hill, a group of other estate’s children after him, meeting up with the small girl scrambling her way up to them. Balian smiling at their laughing voices faintly, but then he turned and walked over to the barrel of water that Almaric had carried out as a precaution, to prevent the sudden dehydration of the working men. Balian filling a goblet with the clear liquid until started to walk over to where Sofia was, whom he now watched to slip out from behind the sheets to take yet another piece of clothing from the basket, soon disappearing again.

Sofia sighed as shook open a robe from a wet bundle, taking in a breath before turned around to place it to dry among the other clothes. But she was then startled as suddenly Balian appeared from between the sheets, moving one of them aside to step inside the cycle of laundry. Sofia giving him a slightly quizzical look as he smiled at her confusion, closing the minute distance that was anymore left between them as offered the goblet to her.

“You should drink.”

Sofia blinked a couple of times, until an amused breath slipped from her curved up lips. Her dropping the robe back into the laundry basket as turned in the tiny space, facing the man.

“Do you always keep an eye of my habit of drinking, my lord?” she inquired, indeed in amusement as accepted the goblet. Looking into Balian’s eyes and brought out a smile from him.

“It’s a hot day”, he stated. “You can never be too sure…”

Sofia measured him curtly until nodded with a coinciding smile, her eyes lingering in his for a moment longer until she took a sip. Balian staring at her, searching her features in some form of a daze, taking hold of the clothesline as did so. Enraptured by the sudden fascination he found in her him starting to lean closer, slowly, all the while his eyes remaining on Sofia, who then looked up to him. Her expression softening as she returned his stare, eyeing at him as well silent until Balian’s nose soon touched hers, Sofia closing her eyes, unfazed by the unexpected contact. No one seeing them behind the sheets, them being completely alone, concealed from all outer eyes...

They broke instantly apart as child’s cry cut the air in the following moment. Both of them gasping, Balian now pushing away the sheet for them to see Kalilah sit on the ground, crying, Darcy and other children hovering around her. Sofia sighing with a shake of her head, and leaving Balian's side she stepped under the line and walked over to her, scooping her up. Starting to speak in Arabic as always while alone with Kalilah, Balian letting out a sigh too as eyed at Sofia quelling the tearful child for a few seconds until as well emerged from behind the hung laundry and passed from under the clothesline. This time directing his steps towards the house, for he indeed was in desperate need of a new bath before seeing the departing princess off.

* * *

Balian was escorting Sibylla out of the manor, taking notice of the way she was eyeing at him from time to time during their joined and silent walk across the yard all the way to her saddled horse, as furtive as it was. Him however saying nothing regardless of the evident unsaid words that he could sense to hover between them, but neither did he grant her appealing glances with one of his own as his undiverted focus went to Almaric and a few other of Balian’s knights already standing at the gates in wait along with the princess’ entourage. Holding the reins of Sibylla’s maids’ horses, observing their lord and the princess curiously.

Balian halted beside Sibylla’s steed and finally met her gaze momentarily as grasped the horse’s reins, keeping the animal steady for Sibylla to hoist herself up to the saddle. Balian still lingering a little before looking up to her, to find the princess to be staring down at him somewhat sadly…Clear disinclination to leave present in her irises that now scoured his features, so keenly even that it made the young lord a bit uncomfortable as he retured their stare, lost as to what he was supposed to feel while under their gaze.

“What becomes of us?” she soon questioned, finally looking at him through her lashes again after casting her gaze down dismally onto his signet ring. Next raising it from the chain it was hanging from around his neck while Balian dropped his own eyes curtly. His reply uninflicted, for whatever those words were that lurked at the back of his mind they now eluded him…Him finding himself to be as clueless to this new significant inquiry of the princess as before, therefore answering honestly. Without offering the woman any actual view of his own that could lead to implications he necessarily would not come to stand for.

“The world will decide. The world always decides.”

Sofia arrived to the courtyard with Kalilah, but came to an instant halt as her eyes rose from her babbling daughter to see Sibylla mounted on her horse. Staring at her lord who stood in front of her, until the yearning in her gaze was hidden under a polite countenance, the princess however not helping but then leaning down to kiss Balian’s ring that she cradled in her adoring fingers, not shifting her eyes from his. Despite herself Sofia letting out a sigh, Kalilah instead leaving her side in a flash and sprinted to the two, peering up to Sibylla.

“ **Goodbye, princess!”** Kalilah exclaimed, beaming, Sibylla smiling back at her as Balian now raised the girl up to her level for her to smooth her wild curls.

**“Salaam alaikum, little Kalilah.”**

Balian looked to his right and saw Sofia stand near the entrance, watching them somewhat downcast. Him being able to tell so by the look of her always so expressive gaze as it swept over them now rather despodently, and perplexed by this he leveled a questionable look at her until also her expression changed comepletely into something he couldn’t anymore read. A loud neigh followed by alarmed shouts coming from the other side of the gateway however next waking everyone’s attention, including his.

“Somebody’s injured! Somebody’s hurt!”

Sofia walked by her lord’s side to see a strange white horse to gallop along the road to the gates, drenched with the blood of its rider. Almaric running to aid the said man who came close crashing to the ground once the antsy animal stopped with a slight jump once a couple of servants took hold of its reins, the rider barely staying on the saddle due to his injuries, and soon Almaric helped him to dismount. Sofia taking Kalilah from Balian and squeezed her a little unnerved while Almaric addressed the wounded man. Soon turning to Balian who was approaching them, gazing at the arrived soldier thoughtfully, who spoke so faintly that whatever he was telling to his right hand man escaped his hearing.

“My lord! The king is marching on Kerak!” Almaric announced, taking everyone by surprise with these news and caused Balian to come into a stunned halt, him leveling now a much more grim look at the man as needed not to be told more to understand what must’ve happened.

“Saladin’s coming?”

“This man is the only survivor from the brigade who first spotted him”, Almaric explained. “There is a great army. Much greater than Reynald’s forces within the castle walls and approaching Kerak rapidly where our king has decided to ride out to meet Saladin. This man came to warn us. The king has ordered you to secure the safety of the people and help them evacuate within the safety of the castle grounds before the host arrives, my lord.”

Balian thought a moment until nodded. Turning to a handful of his men who'd hurried outside as well to see the reason for the commotion. “Arm yourselves and get ready to leave as soon as possible!”

The knights nodded in unison and ran off to prepare themselves for the ride to Kerak castle, Sofia following Balian with her eyes as he then passed her wordlessly, her soon going after him.

“My lord?” she called, Balian stopping midstep and turned around to meet with her serious eyes, Sofia walking over to him to face him.

“What of me? I can fight with you. I can come and fight alongside my lord as one of your knights.”

Balian looked at her in bewilderment of her proposal before then was turned only serious by it, his reply definite and prohibitive, stressing his point of how reckless her such suggestion was. “No. You stay here.”

“My lord, I would feel much calmer while with you instead of staying behind and worrying”, she answered with a frown. “Let me come with you.”

“No”, Balian repeated even more strictly, but at the sight of Sofia’s concerned gaze he sighed, placing his hands on her shoulders. Soon glancing down at the girl in Sofia’s arms who had begun to nod off in the heat. “Please stay. Stay with Kalilah...For she has only one mother.”

Sofia was taken aback and she returned her lord’s stare for a brief moment until with a passing smile he twirled around once more, hurrying inside the house, shouting at Latif to follow. Sofia looking after him in hesitation until frowned for the second time, in determination of her own, and next turned while calling out to Zuleika who soon walked through the crowd. Sofia handing the now fully sleeping Kalilah to her the moment she arrived.

 **“Take Kalilah and give her something to eat once she wakes”** , she urged, her voice earnest, but she then smiled to the older woman who was eyeing at her suspiciously. But there was then only terror on Zuleika’s mien once she reckoned to have an inkling of the course of Sofia's mind, shaking her head at her incredulously.

 **“My girl, you are not seriously going to…?”** she begun, but Sofia’s wider smile cut her off. Zuleika then watching as this young woman she'd come to regard as family gave Kalilah one more loving look and a kiss until vanished. After a while of searching Zuleika seeing her hurry towards the stables.

She frowned in worry, but only bettered her hold of Kalilah before walking away. Thinking that surely she shouldn’t be surprised for that girl to want to protect what was dear to her…Zuleika sighing deeply at that troubling thought as ascended the few steps and entered inside the manor, praying Allah to protect Sofia in whatever it was she was planning on doing.

* * *

Balian rode at the head of his scarce forces with Sibylla and her guards, now finally being able to see the castle of Kerak at the distance after a few hours of strainous riding. As well witnessing how many people had abandoned their homes and were now running for their lives across the plains, to reach the protection of the nearby fortification's walls in time before the approaching army would arrive, dragging their few animals behind them or carrying their little fortune in their arms. Balian stopping his horse to map out the situation, Sibylla halting her steed next to his as Balian's gaze skimmed through the fleeing people momentarily, until then Almaric pointed to the opposite direction. Towards the advancing masses of men that now could be seen approaching rapidly from half a mile away, the ends of their weapons gleaming brightly in the glaring sun.

“Saracen cavalry”, he informed, Balian looking to where he beckoned to and indeed saw the forefront of the enemy troupes to have appeared on top of a hill as a wide, far stretching ribbon. “They’re coming from north to close Reynald in. These people are not safe outside the walls. Saladin will certainly come behind them.”

Balian eyed at the people flocking by the castle gates once more, his eyes soon passing those still curdling past them to get to the safety of the fortress, thinking a moment in frustration at the lacking presence of their own king’s forces along with Reynald’s before turned to Sibylla. Himself well aware of the truth behind Almaric’s previous words, as well as the insufficiency of the first line of defense they would now have to serve as.

“Go into the fortress, now”, he urged urgently, Sibylla exchanging a look with him, until his earnest eyes caused her to turn to her servants. The princess ordering them curtly in Arabic, and her escort instantly moved out and joined the fleeing people into heading for the safety of the castle. Balian glancing after them, where the Saracen cavalry now proceeded into a light gallop at the distance, cloud of dust generated by the dozens of horse hooves signaling Balian’s men to prepare for a quick confrontation. Balian then as well kicking his horse’s sides to spur the animal into motion, and his small group of knights turned and took his cue, riding towards the acceding troops. Them cantering to a small distance away from the castle walls, blocking the enemy’s access to their aimed target by assembling into a front of their own and to give time for the last of the fleeing people to get to the castle, as then abruptly a lone rider approached. Curbing his horse’s gallop into a canter to eye at the lined up knights, to find one man in specific he'd been sent to look for.

“My lord Balian!” he called, after spotting the baron bringing his horse about in a tight turn. “My lord Balian!”

Balian rode forward from the line of men, locking gazes with the arrived Templar as he came to a halt beside him. Pleading look in his eyes that fixated onto Balian as he delivered his lord's request for Balian to retreat, to instead lead his men into bettering the castle’s defences instead of facing their enemy out in the open.

“My lord Reynald prays you bring your force into Kerak.”

“Thank you, but no. If we do, these people will die”, Balian stated, unfazed by the Templar’s plea as returned his stare solemnly. Beckoning to the last of the civilians running away from the invading host of Muslims. “We’ll hold the Saracen cavalry until the king arrives!”

Reynald's knight leveled equally serious look at him, in slight disappointment, until then only nodded in consent. “So be it.”

Immediately he turned his horse around and circled the small group of knights. To flee into the protection of his lord’s castle himself, where Almaric now rode next to Balian whose eyes instead were now strictly riveted to the approaching army once more. Which truly was massive, Almaric appearing next a little worried due to this particular notion as his own eyes skimmed the incoming force. Like his lord knowing them not to stand a chance against such large host.

“We cannot attack that…and live”, he did remark, the most probable truth, Balian agreeing with him in his mind but said nothing at first.

“Then it is a good thing I didn't do the mistake of allowing Sofia to come”, he eventually stated, letting out a resigned breath. Almaric casting him a taken aback look.

“Amira asked you, my lord?”

“She did. And I refused.”

Almaric thought awhile himself, eventually nodding with a hint of a smile playing on his lips. “In that I agree. It was better for her to stay, as it seems we are all going to die here today.”

Almaric sighed then in turn, Balian straightening his back while turned to give him a grim look as well as an inquiring one. Demanding his resolve at this first ever battle they were now to face together.

“Are you with me?” he questioned, holding his right hand man’s gaze for a moment, until he replied with another but this time a resolute nod. His determined expression telling Balian that he would follow his lord even to death should this perhaps but unavailing skirmish very much come to it. Balian’s lips twitching for a slight smile also once he then looked forward again, baring his sword.

A hooded figure at the edge of his troops as well drew theirs, staring at the what seemed like an invincible army with nothing but a serene gaze, although the daunting sight caused them to remember the last moment they’d been in such a unnerving, hopeless situation. Their horse neighing as they swung the thin Saracen blade in their hand courageously regardless, noticing how his lord now placed a kiss onto the flat side of his own weapon before raised it as a sign to move out. Starting to advance, his knights following his suite by encouraging their horses to march forward. Calmly and staying in formation, until the riders drove the animals into an eventual light canter to meet with their enemies, Balian’s unit of defenders soon gaining speed and galloping quickly closer to the faction of Saracen soldiers who’d parted from the main host upon realizing to be facing off but a small number of knights, them as well then curbing their horses to run faster. Their battle cries reaching into the crusaders’ ears even amongst the thundering clatter of hooves, Balian’s sword that had rested on his shoulder now rising again as an another wordless command.

“Forward!” he shouted, the knights now breaking the formation and parting to ride in two apposide lines before the second and final command soon erupted from their commander's lips.

“Divide!” Balian ordered, thrusting his blade forward for the final time. At his behest the horsemen splitting into two separate fronts, charging forth in sparse half circles to clash with their much grander enemy that was attacking at them in notably greater numbers, as a coherent front, starting to outflank them. And soon it happened, the enemy army closing in around them and the men at the front line were met with Saracen spears. Those unfortunate enough flying from the saddle instantly due to the precise impact of the sharp ends, where some made it through the weapons propped to plunge into them and drove their horses to leap across them. Using their own weapons to cleave into the first enemy soldier they came upon after successfully breaching the enemy lines.

The turmoil that ensued morphed into utter disarray as men clashed with men, swords sliced at swords and enemies on both sides, horses neighing in both agony and fear and dropping their masters from the saddle among the already amassed bodies as they were brought down in mind of slaying the men sitting mounted on them. Blood tainting the air with its stench and drenching the plain, cold fear curdling it within the fighters' veins, before it was ultimately spilled onto the ground. The small group of Christians and Saracens alike trying to annihilate the other, showing no mercy in that instant dedicated to plain carnage.

Balian hacked the Saracen soldiers around him, still mounted, until his horse failed him as well. Throwing him from its back as the animal's legs got sliced by a passing Saracen soldier, someone then accidentally stabbing the animal with a spear in their attempt to claim the life of the rider. This saving Balian, who after landing on his side now instantly scrambled up, to see how a Saracen rider approached him, another spear in his hand, raised for a death hit. Balian rolling over the horse, the tip of the spear sinking into the dead animal as Balian stood, deflecting an enemy sword with a slight spin, before next dropped the hood of his chain mail with a strained huff. Staggering for balance, but he had hardly found it again before an axe swooped across the air and slammed against his sword. The abrupt blow surprising Balian so that he fell down, taken aback, his adversary plopping on top of him. Trying to whack him to death with a loud cry of anger.

Balian shifted onto his sides, dodging the swift and lethal swings of the weapon aiming for his torso. The blade of the axe digging into the ground and sending loose soil flying to the air and into Balian's eyes as the Muslim's weapon hit over and over again, however not succeeding in killing him. And after barely blocking the following whack aimed at him, Balian then managed to shove the axe to the side, gaining an opening to lunge himself. But suddenly the Saracen released a cry of pain due to a strike delivered onto his back from behind, Balian following in confusion as the man next earned a kick to his side, which caused him to be thrown away from Balian. Their weapons parting with a screeching scrape of metal.

Balian kicked the soldier in turn, raising his sword to clash with his opponent's axe once more, standing on his knees as next staved his attacker with a shield he'd picked up from the ground. Pushing him back, until now on his feet again he succeeded in piercing the man, aiming the finishing blow to his neck and his enemy was then quickly defeated. But just before Balian’s attention was drawn back to the battle again he saw a glimpse of a vaguely familiar and yet comepletely strange figure, their face covered to hide their identity. Fighting against the Saracens a small distance away, until was again concealed within the moving mass of fighting men. Fleeting bafflement making a visit in Balian's preoccupied mind. Was he one of his men?

Balian swung the shield against a nearby Saracen until took on two enemy soldiers, managing to take care of them somehow in the chaos of the ruthless battle. But it was obvious there were too many men to win over, their efforts to protect the civilians possibly futile for it was more than probable them to be soon all brought to heaven’s gates. However not letting such notions to distract him Balian now blocking an incoming attack with the shield. Ramming the weapon aimed at him to the side while crossing blades with another Saracen soldier, before twirled his own around to deflect his hit, lastly striking the lunging sword of his first opponent. But as suddenly a slim Saracen blade sliced at one of his adversaries, the weapon striking stealthily from his armpit, killing the man. Balian witnessing how the veiled stranger he'd seen before now snatched the falling blade of the deceased enemy, before shoved Balian aside. Twirling now two swords in their own hands until attacked the second soldier, cutting him down with two careful, simultaneous swings. Balian froze in wonder, but was then instantly surprised by an unexpected hit on his head from behind that brought him to his knees. Lightheaded Balian realizing someone to grab him to hold him still, until yet another Saracen appeared to his side, inflicting one more hit at the base of his neck.

Balian felt his body to go limp, his consciousness starting to falter, but about to fall he saw how those same swift Saracen blades now wroke havoc amongst his assailants. One of them lashing at the second one’s torso and cutting his neck before it moved to impale the first attacker, the stranger then instantly twirling around to gaze at him. Balian noticing how the veiled person’s eyes looked down at him in alarm, before they dropped their weapons. Him then getting waylayed by a punch to his stomach, Balian falling on his knees again before another hit to the side of his face send him flying on his back, rendering him unconscious. Balian then gazing up for the final time until his eyes finally closed, the world disappearing into utter darkness.

* * *

Balian felt his arm to be cut by metal, before was next shifted, raised from the ground. Taken somewhere. Wasn’t he dead? Apparently not as his body was indeed roughly hauled forward by four pairs of strong hands as much as he was able to gather, maybe to be finally killed who knew…For they had lost the battle.

Balian’s knights followed as their lord was dragged past them, still unconscious as it seemed to them, the veiled figure eyeing at him anxiously as sat on their knees right beside to the spot Balian was then dropped as brusquely. The veiled figure’s eyes turning up to gaze at the man at whose feet his lord had been discarded so unceremoniously, to see him point the tip of his sword at Balian’s unprotected head. And what else than startled they were about to stand to interfere, but was next taken aback by the following deed of the weapon’s holder. This Saracen commander, whom they knew, plunging the blade into the ground instead of his lord’s head, the veiled figure letting out a sigh of relief where Balian was finally starting to overcome his heavy stupor. His head aching as he moved it, but he bypassed the pain as blinked his eyes open, only to be surprised himself upon looking straight at his own reflection mirrored from a blade of a Saracen sword stuck to the soil right next to his face. Familiar voice starting to speak from above him.

“Your quality will be known among your enemies…before ever you meet them, my friend.”

Balian peered up, lifting himself higher with his hands as his eyes fixated to the familiar face of the man he now realized to be Imad. The supposed Saracen servant he'd crossed paths with in the desert with Sofia several months past, now standing in front of him in a fine armor of a commander.

“You were not that man’s servant”, he surmised, Imad letting out an amused breath at this accurate observation that naturally had nothing to do with the current affair.

“No”, he agreed. “He was my servant.”

The veiled figure watched Balian to sit up stiffly, eyeing at Imad in wonder, until his expression turned but somber. The passing dismay of meeting up with past acquiaintance cast aside by the reality, the fact still remaining that they’d been defeated and were now at the mercy of their enemy. Hence Balian bringing their fate into question to discover was it as glum as was to be expected.

“What becomes of us?” he questioned, staring back at the Saracen man. Imad pouting at his inquiry contemplatively.

“As you deserve”, he replied, glancing up with a remarkable look on his face. “You reep what you sow…You have heard of this, no? Get up.”

Despite of his terse tone Imad was smiling slightly amused as followed Balian to stand. As well rather stiffly due to the pounding of his smarting head, taking support from his sword. Imad next walking past him where Balian straightened his posture, trying to clear his head, his gaze trailing Imad to see him stop by the veiled figure’s side, who was staring in front of themselves. At this point Almaric and the other knights taking notice of them for the first time, leveling confused looks at the figure as didn't recall to have met them before either, and yet they were amongst what remained of their lord’s troops. Measuring this person’s thin and light built, just as Saracen horns then sounded at the distance, proclaiming Saladin to have arrived.

“You may go into Kerak”, Imad continued, turning to face Balian who returned his stare as earnest, still leaning on his sword’s hilt as discovered himself not yet steady enough. “But you will die there. My master is here.”

Balian said nothing. But then watched Imad to turn to the veiled figure, the stranger amongst his men he'd seen briefly during combat. Balian as well now examining this person in wonder, baffled, but just as he reckoned to recognize them Imad spoke again. This time smiling genially.

 **“As you have come with your lord so far…”** he begun while looking down at the man in front of him, beckoning to Balian. **“…but would you not rather want to come with me and meet your father?”**

Balian followed the person’s eyes finally to rise, to lock gazes with Imad. Balian frowning even further addled but was next only shocked as the figure now stood, responding…With a voice he as well knew anywhere.

 **“Years ago I would have come with you”,** it answered, the veiled person smiling with their eyes. **“But my time has come to an end in my father’s memory.”**

Like Balian, others who now recognized Sofia’s voice were as well dumbfounded, once more eyeing at the figure dressed in black they'd deemed as a very thin man. Balian straightening his back again as stared at her with the others, examining disguised Sofia with his widened eyes. Imad doing the same until he soon sighed, shaking his head.

 **“I have kept our agreement** ”, he remarked, glancing at Balian. **”…as you have seemed to keep your end as well. Your lord only learnt of my true identity just now, so either does not your father know that you live. Which overall is a great shame…For your time never ends in my lord’s memory, Amira, and my heart would rejoice to see you reunited once more.”**

Sofia said nothing in response but only bowed her head. Where Balian took a step forward, pulling his sword free from the ground, the shock of finding her from the battlefield giving him back his ability to stand.

“Sofia?” he questioned, Sofia letting out a sigh as she turned her head towards him, Balian gaining the corroborative answer from her eyes he finally of course also recognized. Him staring at her in dismay for one moment more until then only frowned sternly, walking to her an accosting look on his mien.

“I told you to stay behind”, he stated quietly but skeptically, angry for her to have gone against his given order. “Why are you here, Sofia?”

Sofia met his gaze now rather mischievously, her eyes twinkling once she eyed at him in amusement. “No. You did not command me, my lord. You asked”, she corrected, leaving Balian speechless. Her smiling at his surprise behind the scarf, and Balian had no time to come up with an answer as then the sound of galloping hooves, great number of them, started to resonate at their feet and in the air. Imad now moving his attention away from Sofia and Balian, his countenance riddled with dismay as was many others’ once behind the small group of still living defenders, from amidst the dust floating over the plains, a huge cross appeared. A silhouette of a massive army soon coming to sight. The king’s army.

“Tell my lord Saladin that Jerusalem has come”, Imad commanded one of his men who not so long ago had ridden beside him. The soldier nodding and instantly taking off, returning to deliver the news to their own king.

Balian saw Sofia to be staring behind him and lured by her gaze turned around, now as well beholding the arrival of the Christian army, surprisingly the king himself leading the troops at the front line. Numerous banners consisting of variations of the red crosses of the crusaders and templars fluttering in the wind above the masses of men, as well as the blue flags carrying the king’s emblem. Them all now following how in the following minutes the two armies approached one another in calm pace, soon new units of handful of men separating from both of the hosts as the armies came to a halt. The king of Jerusalem riding forth with his escort, Saladin himself leaving the safety of his troops as well, selected few of his own men naturally following after him.

Sofia eyed at the familiar form of the man she'd once adored, releasing a sigh, Balian’s arm now rising and circling around her small frame. Him squeezing her a little as Saladin now raised his hand, ordering his men to stop, pulling down the scarf from his face and turned his black stallion around. Waiting, saying something in Arabic. King Baldwin's men halting at some distance away as well, where the king went on alone, curbing his horse into a light trot as Saladin next rode out to meet him. Strangely an old dog trailing after him, looking up to Saladin as the two rulers finally stopped across from each other. The dog sitting down immediately next to his master, where Saladin next hoisted his right hand this time as a greeting. The king returning the gesture, them then eyeing at one another grimly in brief silence until Saladin was the first to speak.

“I pray you pull back your cavalry and leave this matter to me”, he said, not imperiously or threateningly, but somewhat imploringly. But even though king Baldwin shared his sentiments, he couldn't comply to his request or he'd lose face in front of his men...as well as the whole court.

“I pray you retire unharmed to Damascus”, he answered, wearily, slouching a little in evident discomfort but returned the Saracen king’s gaze earnest as ever. “Reynald of Chatillon will be punished. I swear it. Withdraw or we will all die here.”

Balian and Sofia watched how those two great men measured at each other in another silence, not knowing what was happening out there. But suddenly the dog sitting next to Saladin, a black Giant Schnauzer, tipped his head. Sniffing the air until turned to stare where Balian and Sofia were standing, letting out a whimper. Saladin looking at the elderly dog, calling out to him, but not listening the dog started to wag his tail furiously. And letting out a lazy bark he now begun to sprint away from him, Saladin's gaze following him all the way to where he saw two men to stand. Two of the soldiers who'd courageously defended the castle against his troops before their king’s arrival, Saladin finding the other to be much shorter than the obvious crusader by his side.

Balian watched in confusion how Saladin’s dog was now running towards them, barking a little until came straight over to Sofia. Sofia gazing down at him, frowning slightly as saw the dog to ogle at her, clearly happy. Barking some more, making a couple of excited circles despite of his age as if he was a young puppy once more and jumped against her. Balian following this all his eyebrows raised, glancing at Sofia’s eyes that still were the sole thing visible of her face. Her sighing before glancing back at her father who was eyeing at her instead from the distance, in awe of his own.

The Snautzer barked again and kept on jumping, panting until sat down, gazing into Sofia’s eyes. His tail not stopping its wagging, where Sofia gave him a bit helpless look, for of course she remembered him. Her best friend, who by now had grown into an old dog, having much grey in his once shining fur that had been as dark as onyx. Her returning the dog’s endless stare for a moment more, his following bark this time around impatient, Sofia glancing at her father again. Until Balian next heard her sigh more deeply, resigned, Sofia crouching in front of the dog and he stood up happily and pushed against her. Sofia starting to smile as her hands caressed him, actually feeling slight longing now when she was reunited with their family pet after such a long time.

 **“Hello, Aahil”** , she whispered, the dog licking the visible part of her face before laying down onto his back to offer his tummy. All this only confusing Balian, but Saladin was following the scene in mere outrage, doubt, soon stiffening. Him then beckoning to the man his dog had taken a liking to.

“Call forth that soldier”, he asked, however not shifting his attention from the dark clothed figure to look at Baldwin, who was as well somewhat baffled by his request but nodded in consent. Turning on his saddle as much as was able to wave at Sofia, Balian gasping as he saw this, looking at her now a little alarmed, in wonder of what their king would want with an unknown knight Sofia looked like. Sofia raising her smiling eyes, them instantly turning quite grim however as she as well saw the king to beckon her to come closer. Her nevertheless standing and Aahil followed her example and begun to trek back to Saladin, until soon turned to look at Sofia. Barking lazily, as if inquiring was she coming. Sofia now feeling slight hesitation over whether she should but let out another deep breath, stepping forth, Balian’s hand however locking her wrist and stopped her before she could take but one step.

“Don’t”, he told her, meeting her eyes tensely. But Sofia’s calm gaze soothed him a little, Sofia gently pulling herself free until she handed her weapons to him, Balian giving them a bit wary look until watched Sofia to walk forward, reaching Aahil who seemed satisfied to see her there. Ambling beside Sofia as she next approached the two kings, both of their eyes watching her intently. Sofia feeling more nervous the closer she came, but she hid it behind a tranquil expression as now reached the pair of men, bowing. Aahil slumping next to her with a strained pant, looking at her.

“Rise”, Baldwin urged, Sofia obeying. Her looking at him briefly, seeing him ponder over who she was for he couldn’t see her face, but then Saladin leant forward.

“There is only one person Aahil has reacted this happily towards in his lifetime”, he told Sofia, who raised her head a bit. Suspicion, wonder and disbelief in her father’s eyes once he now studied her, thoughtful himself as soon continued. “He has acted like that towards but his true owner…My youngest daughter, Adilah.”

Sofia said nothing but her shoulders dropped, her tense turned gaze softening. Saladin taking this as a sign of concur and he then dared to extend his hand, to pull down the black cloth covering Sofia’s face. Sofia returning her father’s gaze now only gently, laying witness to his confusion as he now was staring not a young man, but a familiar looking young woman. His hand next rolling open the turban Sofia had covered her hair with, pulling away the fabric to reveal the brown locks, which fell on her shoulder in a long, messy braid she had tied them into. Saladin's eyes however now fixating onto the tattoo on her lips…His family’s royal crest, the Star of Jerusalem.

 **“Adilah?”** Saladin stated questionably. Searching those deep blue eyes he now as well remembered being the same ones he'd gazed into so many times, straightening on his horse in realization. **“My daughter?”**

 **“Salaam alaikum, father”,** Sofia greeted, quickly dropping to her knees and bowed her head. **“It is good to see Allah has smiled upon you. For you have not grown much older during the these past ten years.”**

There was smile in Sofia’s voice but she kept her eyes down. Until after a brief moment her head then snapped higher as she noticed her father to extend his arm towards her. Her sighing as she eventually placed her hand onto his awaiting palm, standing. Meeting with her father’s eyes once more, which were now warm, even his countenance was mostly consumed by mere awe and disbelief.

 **“How is it possible…”** he continued incredulously, staring at Sofia. **“…that after these said ten years you’ve been lost, I find my beloved child from a battlefield…amongst those who should be my enemies?”**

Sofia frowned slightly, glancing at her father sadly. Feeling a tear to fall down her cheek, but she then nonetheless smiled at him as Saladin closed his hand tightly around her fingers. That single act telling of the great longing the man had harbored within him ever since her disappearance, but this sudden meeting of a father with his lost child left Baldwin even further bamused. Him to have followed the interaction between Sofia and Saladin at first in confusion, then in awe as the man Saladin had asked him to call forth had turned out to be Sofia. Lord Balian’s servant, until even greater astonishment had taken over him once she'd been next revealed to be the abducted daughter of Saladin’s…Princess Adilah. Oblivious to his dismay Saladin now sighing, also smiling a little as examined Sofia. Clearly rejoicing over what he found different about her.

 **“You have grown beautiful, my little dove”,** he complimented. **“My small Adilah. Ten years might not have changed me as you say, but they have left their mark on you. And I’m glad of what I see. You are indeed very much like your grandmother at your age…She was not wrong in that.”**

 **“Thank you, dear father”** , Sofia said, bowing her head but then she turned more serious, looking up to Saladin. **“Please father, agree to make truce. None of these men deserve to die, nor Muslim or Christian. It is not God’s will”,** she bidded, seeing a flicker of concur in Saladin’s eyes as they gauged at Sofia. Baldwin who was able to understand their language now looking at Saladin after as well eyeing at the young woman taken aback, urged by the sound of her request.

“Do we have terms?” he questioned, Saladin now shifting his equally serious gaze back to the young king. Him thinking a moment, Sofia squeezing his hand persuasively with both of hers, where Balian was eyeing at the three nervously from the distance. His eyes sweeping over Sofia more and more often as she continued to stare up to her father, until finally Saladin nodded. Giving into his daughter’s plea, but also to his own conscience.

“We have terms”, he agreed. Him not being able to risk his suddenly found daughter to be slaughtered should these armies meet head to head, and now after settling upon this decision he then eyed at the king of the Christians with a more attentive eye. Taking notice of his weak consitution and labored breathing, which both proved him not to survive an actual battle in his current state of health, as even a mere ride from Jerusalem had solely rendered him this frail. Staying mounted on the saddle only due to the regal dignity becoming for a king.

“I will send you my physicians”, Saladin promised then, compassion softening his rigid features as the truth came to move his heart, even if the Christian king’s illness was common knowledge. However seeing him to have defied even death to come all this way personally causing the sultan to revere him, Baldwin making a thankful nod, but his eyes closed momentarily due to the sudden feebleness of his body. Sofia noticing this too and she frowned in worry, to have not taken note before how worn out the king actually was, which then made her following desicion rather apparent once she then came to remember her own once made promise.

 **“I shall go”** , she said, turning back to her father. **“I once promised to go meet this man. So I shall go and help him, father.”**

Saladin looked at Sofia in surprise, soon brief sorrow flickering in his gaze as by saying so she declined to come back home with him…Back to her family. Sofia realizing this, but even she turned sad herself over his lament she stayed calm.

 **“You have always done what you want”,** Saladin responded, sighing, but he did then smile wistfully. **“Even when you were a child…I see that hasn’t changed in you.”**

Sofia smiled as well at her father’s humorous tone as Baldwin then raised his hand, it brushing his forehead briefly as a polite gesture, while Saladin’s fingers quickly swept under Sofia’s braid.

 **“Salaam alaikum”,** he said, arousing even more respect in Saladin due to this small act of courtesy, which he soon returned. Straightening.

**“Alaikum salaam.”**

After looking at Sofia for the final time Saladin next turned his horse around, riding back towards his awaiting attendants. As well Baldwin bringing his horse around, his army immediately starting to retreat as well once the momentary truce had been formed between the kings. Sofia staying still for a while, gazing after her father’s receding steed until Aahil let out a small whimper and went after Saladin, reluctantly. Sofia sending a sad smile after him until turned herself, instantly seeing Balian who was staring at her.

She smiled at him but against his expectations didn't return to him, instead walking after the king’s horse for his confusion. Sofia feeling the wind to tug at her frail braid and her hair soon begun to unravel from it, once blowing freely in the breeze covering her field of vision from the sight of both of the armies now retreating on her sides as the king headed for the Kerak castle. Balian gazing after her quizzically, perturbed as to why she would go there with the king, Almaric finally standing up from the ground and came over to him.

“Your command to stay did little to stop her. She sneaked in with us”, he noted, turning a bit amused, where Balian only sighed.

“I did not command her”, he corrected him, maybe a tint of humor appearing in his voice too after all, even though his voice remained rather grim. “I asked her.”

Almaric let out a laugh until looked thoughtful himself. Voicing out the very question that currently pestered his lord. “Why is Amira leaving with the king?”

Balian shook his head. “I don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Name translations: Fahid (panther), Atia (ancient), Aahil (prince)


	15. Heart of a Servant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN:
> 
> I still don't have the faintest idea how leprosy was treated back at the time, even I tried to find some info about it even while previously editing this... So like the last time I left the improvised part of the treatment as it was :)  
> ________________________________________
> 
> Phrases written in bold; Arabic  
> Phrases written in italics; thoughts, memories, quotes

Sofia walked through the gates of Kerak castle at king Baldwin's wake, the crusaders standing by the path leading within the vast courtyard giving her suspicious glances upon realizing her to be a Saracen…A Saracen in the company of their king.

However Sofia ignored the stringent attention she gathered during her walk as she was eyeing at the king attentively. Witnessing his weariness to grow with each passing moment, where he still tried to appear eminent while entering the castle grounds. Striving to stay on the saddle in all his composure and might, but Sofia knew the truth. His decision to ride at the head of his army in person to have taken its grave toll on him, and worsened his already bad condition once the tiresome journey from Jerusalem had expectedly aggravated the disease to further strain his health even more aggressively. Her sighing at his torment, hoping to be able to ease even a fraction of it later on with her knowledge as promised.

“Are you well enough, my king?” she inquired, Baldwin snapping out of his dazed thoughts and directing a quick look downward to meet her gaze. But although clouded and bloodshot Sofia detected a fleeting smile in his weary eyes.

“All is well. Do not worry, your highness”, he reassured, surprising Sofia due to his so reverent way of addressing her, even his delivery had been laced with amusement. But she then gave in under his assurance and let the matter be, believing in his own judgment.

Baldwin continued his ride towards the center of the courtyard, Sofia now noticing the lord of the grand estate to be standing at the head of the passageway that led all the way within the castle. To have made appearance but now to greet yet another prestigious visitor although during the threat of the attack he’d stayed hidden behind the fortress’ walls, but now once obliged to come and greet his king his overall demeanor extravagant with rich, orange colored robes draped around his shoulders. His smile somewhat fraudulent to Sofia's observant eyes, where Reynald of Chatillon's attention was fully riveted to his king who finally curbed his horse into a halt. Staring back at the man with but somber irises until in the following instant Reynald spotted Sofia, disgust twisting his previously so complaisant features into a grimace, the man pointing at her in outrage.

“A Saracen!" he breathed, eyeing at Sofia in fleeting dismay until next glanced at the soldiers at his command, beckoning to her hatefully. "Guards, kill this filthy Saracen immediately! I shall not tolerate such trash to step into my castle!”

“You shall tolerate this woman, Reynald of Chatillon, as she is to stay!” the king denied his demand once he finally spoke, angrily. His own strict demeanor and voice as well as his defensive words surprising the man, as then a servant walked forth. Taking the reins of Baldwin’s horse and pulled them to make the animal kneel, so that the king could get down without any excessive difficulty. Sofia observing him from the sidelines in worry as could hear him pant due to the effort the mere dismounting required, noticing his balance to falter the moment he landed on his feet. And yet he didn’t let any of his malaise to show while confronted the belligerent Templar, aside for the young woman who could pick up the subtle signs of his frailty, even to everyone else the young king then conducted himself just like a true, angered monarch would.

Reynald immediately dipped into a deep bow, in turn earning but a contemptuous look from Sofia for his obviously feigned respect. All about this man now but illusive and pretentious, Guy who was amongst the crowd of men standing at the other side of the courtyard now also noticing Sofia by the king's side. Taken aback himself, and the young woman could soon feel his eyes practically burn into her skin, her glancing around upon sensing someone to be watching her, only to locate the said man from the distance and see him ogle at her that same possessive look in his irises. His poignant stare boring into her causing her to jolt in slight alarm, but to forget the man's presence she swiftly shifted her attention back to the king. To observe how Baldwin was walking forward, his back fully straightened even every step taken towards Reynald tired him, him now yanking a whip from his belt…One used to beat horses. Having an inkling of its purpose in this particular affair Sofia frowning at the sight of it but stayed silent, as did everyone else at the courtyard, where Reynald was still bent over in a bow. His head as well inclined as a sign of supposed reverence, but now it rose a little once he spotted Baldwin to beckon to the ground with the whip also the Templar now noticed him to be holding.

“On your knees”, Baldwin ordered, his delivery riddled with authority having a mordant edge to it that cut the descended silence like a knife. Reflecting the depth of his anger, and Reynald complied with a new tilt of a head, making another feigned smile that however was more nervous now. Upon also suspecting the king’s intentions eventually falling on his knees as commanded, Sofia now eyeing at them in turns from behind the king's back, to see him motion the whip downward.

“Lower”, he slanted. Reynald obeying, putting his hands together meekly as a wordless plead for mercy over the punishment he by now was well aware to be dealt by the irated king towering over him, scared of it. But instead of showing him such courtesy Baldwin next spoke to him with a loud, seething voice that reached even the farthest corners of the courtyard for everyone present to hear him…To take heed of his words, his very status audible in his proud, adamant tone as he gazed at the accused man scornfully.

“ _I_ am Jerusalem”, he declared to the man, to anyone with similar kind of deceptive mind eager to challenge his power in such a way this particular Templar had, and indeed at the significant sound fo them Guy looked up to Baldwin over the courtyard while Baldwin next removed a glove from his left palm with a single, bilious jerk. Sofia along with everyone following him to extend the mutilated hand down to the cowering man at his feet, her heart filling with instant pity due to the glimpse of the devastation the horrible disease had inflicted upon Baldwin, but who now wasn’t the feeble sick man he and Guy had solely regarded him as to achieve their own ends, but a king. Making that very clear to the visibly rattled man, who now cast an abhorring look at the bloody, rotting ulcers on Baldwin’s skin, even further horrified by the king’s following taut demand.

“And _you_ , Reynald, will give me the kiss of peace.”

Balian angled his head as behold Reynald's deserved humiliation with the rest of his men from his own respective spot at the courtyard. Sofia now detecting clear revulsion in the Templar’s desperate eyes as they once more gazed at the deformed limb covered in those sickening sores and tiny boils, debating over succumbing to such atrocity, until saw fit to resign and came forth. Greedily grasping the king’s hand and kissed the ring on his forefinger multiple times, until suddenly Baldwin used the whip to hit him. Sofia gasping and turning her eyes away once the whip lashed at the knelt man, where Sibylla followed the scene to unfold as intently from behind the perpetrator. Raising her jaw a little as watched his brother to punish the disobedient Templar with several forceful slashes across his face as previously promised, but not only due to his given word to Saladin but for his own personal satisfaction over all of Reynald’s continuous attempts to go against his king’s authority. Although his attention was also mostly drawn to the beating, Balian's eyes now shifting to Sofia to see her gasp every time the whip made contact with Reynald, until Baldwin had his fill of acting as the comeuppance to the man’s actions. Sofia closing her eyes momentarily before turned back to Baldwin, who now turned his back to battered Reynald as his intention to return to his horse. However staggering again, the whipping to have drained him of the last of his strength, and Sofia had a startled realization upon seeing him falter mid-step.

 **“Come help!”** she exclaimed to the servants urgently, waving at them to come, but wasn't fast enough as the king begun to collapse with an exhausted breath. Tiberias however hurrying to catch him before he lapsed to the ground and called out to the king’s personal guards, instantly two more men rushing forth to take hold of the weakened king. Now supporting him as next walked him towards the royal palanquin waiting at the entrance. Without much thought Sofia following them, Guy’s eyes trailing after her as he emerged from the cluster of crusaders and approached the mortified Templar, who’d in fact been punished for something _he_ had put in motion. Sofia avoiding to grant the true initiator of this breach in peace a single look in return as passed him, instead riveting her gaze to Tiberias before soon arrived by his side. The man locking his taken aback eyes into hers momentarily until Sofia went over to the king with running steps, the marshal instead walking back to disgraced Reynald who'd remained on the ground on all fours, scowling in anger once Tiberias stopped by his side. Eyeing at the man in unmasked satisfaction to witness him finally get what he'd deserved as a resilient thorn in his flesh, Reynald's bruised face contorting with different kind of hatred as his head eventually rose and his caustic eyes met with the marshal's in annoyance.

“What are you looking at?” he spat, Tiberias staring back at him indifferently.

“A dead man”, he announced remarkably, nodding at the guards nearby to seize Reynald as he stood back on his feet. Now but an incredulous look taken over his mien and he glanced towards where Guy was standing in outrage. “Reynald de Chatillon, you are arrested and condemned.”

Sofia picked up the tinkle of Tiberias’ boots coming closer as sat on the palanquin. Once more not minding the attention she gathered as she only examined the weary king for a brief moment carefully, until her concentration was cut by the humorous remark of the man himself.

"You look so serious", Baldwin observed, in amusement, even he didn't have much strength to jest not helping himself as took note of the young woman’s surprise. "I hope my state is not indeed that bad."

Sofia couldn't bring herself to smile at his sarcasm, only returning the king's stare quietly until extended her hand. Leveling a quizzical look at the man.

“May I?” she queried, gesturing towards the mask, but the king shook his head.

“You are kind for trying to help me”, he continued, breathing more heavily. “…But I told you before. I cannot be saved by the good will of sinful mortals. Only God can save me.”

“It is true I might not save you, my lord”, Sofia responded impassively, finally smiling a little. “But I can always treat you…if you allow it. Now, I will only feel your forehead for a while.”

Sofia hold the king’s gaze for a moment until reached out towards the mask, about to raise it to push her hand under it.

“You’ll be infected”, Baldwin protested, Sofia’s smile only widening.

“I’ve dealt with many diseases and never become ill myself”, she reassured. “And this particular one does not spread by touch, my lord. That much I do know.” 

Baldwin then let out a resigned sigh, granting Sofia to feel his forehead with a slight nod. But she didn’t even have to touch his skin to sense the heat emanating from him, her frowning at her discovery but said nothing. Making her conclusions.

“I cannot do anything here”, she informed, straightening. “We must treat you in a place more private as you probably know, and after all I am not a true healer. We need the physicians my father promised to send to ease your conditon.”

Baldwin nodded again, Sofia detecting a new smile in his tired eyes until they closed curtly. Him however soon raising his own hand that much as he was able and waved, beckoning to Balian, who so far had contented himself with watching over Sofia’s actions from the distance but was now summoned by Baldwin. Sofia locking gazes with her lord as he then walked across the courtyard and came over to them, bowing his head in respect, where Tiberias followed his suite by arriving to the scene at his wake. Balian crouching by the palanquin, next to Sofia, and Baldwin seemed amused again as eyed at the young man before him contemplatively. Repositioning his head on the cushions to level a commending look at him.

“If you continue like this…” he begun, Balian raising his downcast gaze to him. “…I shall have to find use for you. If God can spare you, that is.”

Sofia glanced at Balian at the sound of the king’s significant remark, but the smile that had been on its way to curve up her lips died when she once again spotted Guy at the distance. This time casting nasty looks at Balian due to the king’s praising words that had been carried into his ears by the wind, Sofia feeling herself slightly nervous over the threat his hateful glowers awoke in her, but she quickly ignored it. Directing her attention back to the pair of men by her side.

“God does not know me”, Balian argued simply, Sofia sneaking a peek at him in wonder of that. Not sure did she agree.

“Yes, but I do”, Baldwin answered, a slight amused tint appearing in his voice once more, even the corners of Tiberias’s lips stuck into a frown twitching for a smile due to this notion. Sofia sighing quietly, once more fully smiling herself at the king whose eyes visited her briefly, where Balian's had looked down momentarily in mirth as well. But the king's following words took him aback …Both of them in fact, Baldwin’s eyes shifting back to the young woman. “So does she.”

Balian looked up to Sofia who blinked once before met his gaze in equal confusion, but it was then when Baldwin nodded at Tiberias who immediately ordered the Saracen servants to raise the palanquin. Sofia’s hand that had rested on the king’s arm sliding off as she swiftly rose to her feet, Balian guiding Sofia away once the king with his entourage begun to depart. About to lead her back to where his men were waiting, but Sofia was quicker to act by turning to him, bringing him to a halt.

“I’m going too. To Jerusalem”, she announced, surprising Balian again, and he next saw her to glance towards the receding palanquin. “I promised to help my father's physicians to treat the king.”

“How long will you stay?” Balian inquired, puzzled by the news, but said nothing against it, as she had clearly already made up her mind about going. But unaware of the answer Sofia only shook her head.

“I do not know. It all depends on his strength to endure and my ability to be of help to him…Would you watch Kalilah for me?” she requested, Balian nodding with a reassuring smile, and Sofia returned it thankfully. Them then exchanging a brief stare until Sofia turned, walking out of Balian’s loose grasp and going after the king's escort. Joining the servants, Balian watching her leave for a while until Tiberias then faced away from the convoy, tapping him on the shoulder.

“She has a good heart, doesn’t she?” he stated to Balian, who looked thoughtful but eventually nodded in consent. In agreement with the marshal’s remark.

“She does.”

Balian now turned away himself once Tiberias left his side to go over to his awaiting horse, his eyes finally singling out Guy in turn, who was currently standing a small distance away from him. But instead of observing the guards to escort arrested Reynald after the departing convoy, like before the man’s eyes trailing solely after Sofia's retreating form. In understanding of this Balian glancing back at her once until that familiar rage took hold of him due to the clear craving he could then detect from Guy's gaze. Nevertheless him settling to only stare at the man in a hateful manner for a passing moment before turned to face now mounted Tiberias. About to go after the royal caravan as well, but cast his eyes down to the young baron.

“Do not return to Ibelin. I need you in Jerusalem”, he prompted, Balian gazing up to him in immediate hesitation and then denial. He'd just promised Sofia to take care of Kalilah while she was away...But after all not given time to consider his response he neither had the opportunity to say anything as he was then only left to watch Tiberias to gallop through the gates. While his attention was directed elsewhere Guy this time throwing daggers at Balian’s back, where Sibylla risked her husband's awareness and unbeknownst to the man in question leveled longing looks at Balian from the other side of the courtyard. Eventually turning away and walking back inside the castle, at this point the after all attentive eyes of her husband shifting to her. Ablaze with rage.

* * *

Sofia raised the king’s hand, gingerly removing the ring from his finger, before dipped a soft cloth into the liquid her father’s physicians had prepared a moment ago. A strong mixture of medical herbs that were known to be at least somehow effective against the symptoms of leprosy, alleviating them, Sofia taking her time with wiping Baldwin’s malformed skin thoroughly with the remedy as instructed. The patient as well as the two other present men watching her actions with careful eye, but after some time of observing her tending hands in utter silence Baldwin gazed at Sofia curiously. Taking in a long breath.

“How can you be so calm while confronted with my so wretched form? I must look hideous to you”, he asked, honestly puzzled even though there was mirth in his voice in the end. Sofia stopping her doings momentarily to look at him in surprise of his inquiry, but then she simply smiled.

“I’ve learnt not to fear those who are sick. And hideous people often tend to have a caring heart to counter the loss of beauty”, she answered, wetting the cloth again. The scent of the remedy as well strong, clearing even the haziest mind within the room. Sofia now looking at Baldwin knowingly but still rather thoughtfully.

“I know from experience that if one fears those they treat, in worst cases it is as good as killing the patient”, she continued. “If one grows to dread the infected, they often treat them wrongly. Rashly, in hopes of eluding the infection themselves…And in the end it is not the fault of the ailing to have become what they are.”

Sofia then thought a moment, Baldwin detecting pity in her eyes as she fell into a fleeting remembrance. “Besides… I have seen worse”, she confessed. The king eyeing at her quizzically as Sofia then looked down, returning her attention back to the treatment at hand. “When I was younger I used to treat people like that. Hapless villagers, soldiers injured in battles as a part of the garrison I traveled with…”

“You, lady Sofia?” Baldwin asked, this time in honest astonishment. Sofia letting out a laugh due to his dismay as glanced at him remarkably.

“Did you not say yourself to have achieved your first notable victory in battle only at the age of 16, my lord?” she inquired back, smiling. “Then you have won me over with a year. I was 17 at the time, a year older…But what I saw on those battlefields, what was brought to me to treat…Some injuries were simply unjust to the bearer, as this disease is to you, my lord.”

Sofia kept another break, turning now sadder. “Once I was taken to a man who had been injured by a projectile of a catapult he had been left under. Over half of his face had been disfigured, crushed and burnt as was his body, and it was even a miracle him to be alive. I did the best I could, but in my heart knew it to be fairer for God to take that man’s life…He had no eyes, could not speak or smell a thing. Unable to hear anything, and only food he could ingest had to be squashed and forced down his throat. And even if he should have lived he would have been as good as dead, not being able to sense anything around him…to feel the very life he was clinging to. That was why I thought it to be more merciful to let him die.”

Sofia silenced, Baldwin staring at her now in true awe. But Sofia then smiled again, meeting his eyes like always upon speaking to him. “But I treated him the best I could. Because even I found it to be hopeless, I still believed that maybe there was a reason to his injuries, was it a divine punishment or not. I did not fail him at the time because I believed in him…In God. Thought there was still some hope left even my mind had already given up. That is why, my lord, I am here to treat you and do not fear you. Because I think there is always some hope left, which can turn into fortune if God _is_ merciful enough.”

They were silent for a while as Sofia concentrated into cleansing the pus from Baldwin’s skin, after mulling over her words him soon nodding more serious himself, Sofia’s tale to have caused him to think…To perhaps regard his state from a different point of view.

“I see”, he stated, Sofia smiling slightly.

“I find that those who are most worthy are taken at a young age by God to be kept by His side, as a reward for their belief and overall virtue”, she remarked after awhile, pensively, looking away. “But those to deserve His judgment in afterlife are left here to cause turmoil to those who are good and worthy in His eyes. That is what I think.”

“You truly are interesting to listen”, Baldwin noted, shifting the position of his head. “I have never conversed about faith with anyone who wouldn't expectedly submit to the same course of thinking as myself or the general perceptions of religion…But your opinions are all yours, not God’s…Or men’s.”

Sofia bowed her head in gratitude, but the king wasn't finished. Continuing after a moment of simply eyeing at the young woman treating him, in the end finding this whole scenario somewhat laughable, as this wasn’t exactly what he’d had in mind while once inviting her to an audience with him.

“To have the daughter of my archenemy to tend to me who is already damned while living…” he mused. “It must mean I have done something good in this life to deserve such privilege.”

“Disease is not a punishment from God”, Sofia said back. “It is but a smite of a physical weakness. Even a craze of an arrow can be the death of a person if they’re weak enough in essence.”

“Oh yes…You were the one who challenges the beliefs of our God”, Baldwin recalled, Sofia gazing at him now somewhat mischievously, until she then exchanged some words with the Muslim physicians in Arabic. Baldwin next giving the clothes Sofia was wearing a curt look, feeling himself once more starting to smile in amusement.

“Truly…” he begun, Sofia turning her attention back to the king to see that new smile to brighten his previously so hazy eyes. “A princess you are due to your heritage…An inborn lady in your heart and mind…But still you are satisfied to dress like a servant”, he remarked sarcastically, Sofia glancing at the blue servant maid's gown she'd been loaned to use after she'd declined a dress sown from silk, made for a lady she apparently was regarded as by some against her wishes…Sofia then smiling in amusement of her own and continuing to work as her eyebrows rose slightly, her correcting the king benevolently.

“I am no princess. I am a simple servant, my lord.”

“But you are Adilah, daughter of Saladin”, Baldwin stated the truth, now turning a little pondering in turn. “You had the chance so why didn't you return to your people? I was not king when you were abducted but I heard of it from my father…For ten years you have been kept from your family and birthright…So why do you not wish to go to your father and instead stay to treat a wretch like me?”

There still had been a humorous tone to the king’s voice, but he met Sofia’s gaze now quite solemnly. Sofia’s eyes dropping and she soon sighed, straightening her posture and stared to the distance for a while, until then Baldwin saw yet another smile to rise to her lips…Even it was a wistful one.

“It is because my heart is not with my father and my family. The heart of a lady”, she explained, now looking down again at the king who listened intently, curious as to what she would say. “But it is here. With you in this room, in this city…The heart of a servant.”

“And undoubtedly with your lord”, Baldwin added. Noticing how this young woman was actually surprised and she seemed to gape a little at his reply, until let out a sigh. Shaking her head although did continue to smile.

“Yes”, she agreed. “My heart is also with my lord. I once decided to stay with him, and that is why I cannot go back to my family. I am no longer Adilad, but…”

“Sofia”, Baldwin finished her sentence, earning another wondering look from the woman. “Yes, my sister told me of you…What you said. And she also told me…you have a daughter named Kalilah.”

Sofia nodded, new kind of warmth to her voice as she answered. “Yes.”

“I hear she is a brilliant child. Kind and caring. Just like her mother”, the king continued, Sofia nodding for the second time, smiling this time but tenderly.

“She is.”

“And is her father as proud of her as you are, Sofia? How Balian thinks of her I wonder?”

Baldwin witnessed Sofia to stiffen due to his question, although there was a flicker of something in her eyes that then spoke against the outrage his inquiry had brought out in her…Making her not so heedless to their following exchange, although she instantly shook her head in denial.

“No my lord. Kalilah is not my lord’s child”, she redressed, Baldwin inclining his head in interest.

“But is loved by him as if she were?” he questioned. Sofia meeting his gaze again as sighed deeper, however despite of the stunned look on her mien her soon breaking into another more gentle smile. This time around Sofia nodding in concur.

“Yes, my lord.”

“My sister told me…that your lord cares much of your daughter. Being like a father to her…So, maybe the place your heart has settled in doesn't only bring happiness to you, but to others as well.”

Sofia said nothing but simply returned the king's gaze. Falling into her thoughts, her gaze starting to wander within the room as curt silence descended. But she didn't need to speak for the man to see everything from her eyes, the answer he'd suspected himself for some time now. He smiled slightly behind the mask, her eventual reply luring him to probe a little more, but her somewhat dismissive choice of words did then cause him to turn more earnest.

“I wouldn’t know about that, my lord. I am the happiest I’ve been in a very long while, but cannot fool myself into believing my decision to have brought others such joy.”

“You give yourself too little value”, he argued, skeptical of Sofia’s remark, which quite defeated delivery now puzzled him. Sofia pausing for a brief moment at the sound of his counter-argument, contemplative once more, until soon enough the king could see the passing, even downright sad expression that made a visit on her countenance until it was replaced with a more congenial look.

“Or too much.”

Curt silence descended within the room as Baldwin had no words to reply to that previous dreary comment. It actually amazing him to find Sofia to be capable of becoming this dispirited, even though he hadn’t had the opportunity to share any other private moments with her, but out of that little he’d come to deem distinctive to her and her overall lively character from the things his sister had told him about her, display of ambivalence wasn’t something he would’ve expected…Epecially taken the strongly distinctive views she seemed to have concerning the world, which however didn’t seem to apply to certain aspects in her life, at least to the ones Baldwin had tried to uncover…And in certain lament of this, upon not knowing the true reasons behind it, but still understanding her Baldwin’s gaze then softened as he studied the young woman.

“But you are fond of him, yes?” he asked, noticing how Sofia’s eyes betrayed her by revealing her true thoughts, even her response was merely vague.

“As any woman would of a man who saved them from a life of utter misery.”

Baldwin said nothing to that. Simply returned Sofia’s gaze, until eventually let out a strained breath. Letting the matter go, as clearly she wanted not to delve in deeper to this particular topic.

“Still, I wish I could’ve met her…Your Kalilah”, Baldwin said then. “For from what I've heard she appears to be a luminous child. No wonder your lord loves her as his own.”

Sofia's gaze moved back to the king, to measure him, detecting the endless smile in his light irises. But after awhile she offered him one of her own in return, picking up her work again in silence without however saying anything in a long while.

Sofia had nearly finished treating the king’s body with the male physicians, but she knew better not to ask him to reveal his face. She had enough decency not to be so ignorant, as exposing his measly self like this to outsiders must’ve been hard enough for him. But she was soon taken aback when she finished applying the remedy to his torso and moved on to dispose of the bowl from her lap, about to start putting bandages over the sensitive skin, Baldwin’s hand however stopping her. The king beckoning to his silvery mask.

“I realize you must be throughout”, he gave in, letting out a sigh. “It is alright. I now trust you enough to let you see…Since you seem to find me so worthy as to care for an unkown man like me.”

Sofia smiled thankfully, nodding, before lifting the bowl back on the bed, saying something to the physicians who now backed away. Sofia rounding the large bed to drop the canopy down to offer some privacy for the king, her soon enough going through the curtains and sitting back on her spot. Locking gazes with the king and saw him to nod once more, his irises showing trust, which somewhat moved the young woman. And hence encouraged by his sincere comply Sofia then took hold of the mask, carefully removing it.

Baldwin automatically hold back a breath. In the seconds that followed him waiting to see Sofia’s appalled reaction upon laying witness to his most mutilated features, but she only sighed at what she saw. Not the least terrified like he'd momentarily feared in small part of him, despite of the distressed look she gave at his disfigurement in the end her smiling at him but kindly.

“I have seen worse”, she told him, her plain indifference to the horror of his face causing relief to replace the dread in the young king’s heart, him smiling back at her. Sofia witnessing the survived corner of his mouth to rise, and then with no word more she dipped the cloth into the herb mixture. Starting the treatment on his face.

* * *

It was early morning when Sofia finally stepped out of the king’s quarters. Yawning for the fatigue the stayed up hours of the night had left at their wake as the doors were closed behind her.

She'd done everything she could to help, but it still wasn’t enough. She knew it as did her father’s physicians. Baldwin’s illness to have advanced too far for him to be cured, and Sofia suspected he didn't have long to live. That was the reason the king had eventually told her to leave, seeing the same hopelessness in her eyes she'd referred to while telling him about the already doomed man whose life she'd once tried to save. Where he'd only smiled in understanding, urging her to go back to Ibelin to her daughter…To someone who needed her more.

Sofia closed her eyes briefly for pity as raised her scarf, wrapping it around her head lightly, and started to walk along the same path she'd taken with Balian months ago when they'd met the king for the first time. But Sofia was then surprised to see Sibylla who came to sight from behind a corner, Sofia seeing her face to be riddled with worry as she now looked at her questionably.

“How is my brother?” she inquired, walking to Sofia while trying to keep her voice from faltering. However not being able to hide the tint of woe in it from Sofia, for also the princess knew the king not to last much longer…Sofia casting her eyes down as curtsied.

“I’ve done everything I can”, she answered. “As has my father’s physicians who are still with him. But this disease is only treatable, postponed by the correct remedy…But not curable I’m afraid.”

Sibylla’s eyes were now consumed by sadness, but she nodded in understanding and gazed down herself, dejected. “I thank you for…treating my brother and staying here, even though you would’ve been more needed at Ibelin. I'm truly grateful for your kindness, Sofia.”

Sofia smiled, placing her hand briefly on Sibylla’s who had extended hers, but then Sofia curtsied again. Bowing her head.

“Then, my lady Sibylla, I take my leave”, she said, straightening, Sibylla nodding again but in concur this time.

“Yes. Go to Kalilah. She needs you”, she granted with a small smile of her own, Sofia giving her one more polite nod until passed her. Gathering her a little longer hem from what she was used to, not to trip, and hurried along the corridor. The other set of doors at the beginning of it naturally opened for her as Sibylla gazed after her sadly, soon turning to enter her brother’s rooms.

Sofia crossed the outer corridor, seeing the sun now starting to rise and bring light to the pale, blue sky. As well conjuring up a smile to her lips before she entered the palace again, walking all the way towards the courtyard along the exact same route she already remembered. But as she then reached a hall that resided next to the garden, a sudden voice starting to speak from her right startled her half to death.

“You think you are leaving here?” Guy stated sullenly. Causing her to gasp for fright, and she twirled around to see the said man to be standing by the wall. Eyeing at her with piqued eyes, until started to walk towards her with determined steps. Sofia feeling slight fear upon seeing him approach but didn’t let it show, simply staring back at Guy serenely as retreated away from him instead.

“I am no slave, hence I am free to leave. I only came to treat the king and now that done wish to return to my lord”, Sofia pointed out, the plain fact, about to walk away. But before she could escape him Guy’s hand grabbed her arm roughly, wrenching her back. Sofia meeting his irritated gaze in alarm as Guy instantly leant closer, that same oppressive superiority displayed on his mien again as long as their stare lasted.

“ _I_ am your lord, woman”, he stressed remarkably, Sofia angling her jaw in defiance. “Princess or not, I paid a price of you. You are mine. You belong to me, and therefore your knight will be breaking against the commandments of our Almighty Father if you go to him…For it is a sin to covet other man’s property.”

Sofia felt even greater flicker of fear but yanked herself free, backing away a couple of steps as stared at Guy. Masking the spooked expression within her eyes with mere contempt, and as expected rage flared up his temper due to Sofia’s unyielding disobedience and he strode forth. Raising his riding crop to possibly lash at her across the face like once before, Sofia stiffening and stepping back with a wince. But she was saved in time by the sound of approaching footsteps echoing in the hall.

“Guy de Lusignan!” Tiberias’ voice called out, causing the said man to freeze in turn and slowly, in irritation he turned around to see Tiberias stand at the doorway. Eyeing at him and Sofia suspiciously, but Sofia was sure to see plain anger in his gaze when Tiberias soon walked towards them. His full focus riveted to the seething Guy.

“Your troops are waiting for your return”, Tiberias reminded him, narrowing his eyes as arrived by Sofia's side, who glanced at him in relief. Guy’s brow twitching as he somehow managed to control himself, however returning the marshal's gaze with as pungent eyes as his, where Tiberias next inclined his head expectantly.

“Your men are waiting for you to lead them back to the city, I believe”, he repeated, his voice a tad more emphasizing for it to have an effect on Guy. Still not granting the man with a reply Guy then only letting out a breath of vent up vexation but made a brisk nod. Releasing his grip of the whip upon returning it back to his belt, Sofia calming down once after directing one more covetous leer at her he then marched out of the hall, disappearing through the doorway Sofia had just a moment ago used. Sofia finally daring to release a breath of relief herself, and she next turned to Tiberias to thank him, but his expression was indeed only grim as instead of receiving her gratitude he instantly placed his hand on her back. Guiding her towards the end of the hall.

“Go back to Ibelin now. I’ve pointed two of my men for your protection and they shall escort until you are close enough to your lord’s estate”, he urged. His words as grevious as he pushed Sofia forward, but even she could hear the haste in his voice, regardless Sofia stopped momentarily. Meeting the marshal's eyes in turn, bowing to him.

“Thank you”, she said sincerely, Tiberias’ gaze now softening and he nodded, although didn’t smile. And so once more driven by the man Sofia then hurried all the way to the courtyard where her horse was waiting for her, as did the promised pair of knights. Sitting in wait on the backs of their own steeds.

Sofia mounted in a flash, them then leaving the palace grounds straight away, as Tiberias had probably ordered his men to take Sofia away from Guy as quickly as possible. And Sofia couldn't feel but relieved as she rode through the main gates, leaving the palace and the certain individual behind. Eventually her once more worry consumed mind turning lighter the more distance grew between her and the despicable man, and as after the familiar lands of her lord’s started to appear before her after one day’s ride she forgot all about the troubles she’d left behind. Simply focusing onto the greatest source of joy that awaited her at her destination, no doubt as anxious to see her mother again as she was too see her daughter.

* * *

Balian stood on the wall of the fortification as followed the troops to return back to the city, after some time spotting Guy riding at the head of his own forces. His eyes narrowed only slightly as he eyed at the said man, Guy also soon raising his gaze to see Balian above him, staring back at him with as hard and contemptuous eyes. Almaric stepping forth to behold the return of the set out army with his lord, but then a soldier arrived. Informing them that the king had requested to see Balian, Almaric appearing surprised by this.

“Is he well enough to meet anyone?” he wondered out loud, shaking his head. “The king was very weak yesterday. Amira’s skills in healing must be then superior if he has the strength to meet you, my lord.”

Balian’s somewhat grim mind turned lighter as he realized to most likely meet Sofia at the palace along with the king, him smiling slightly to himself due to the sound of his companion's words.

“Yes they must.”

The soldier brought Balian straight to the palace and the private rooms of the king. Him once again following the same route to his quarters, from where he then found the ruler in wait of him along with Tiberias, the marshal of Jerusalem seated on a chair of his own on Baldwin's left, looking utmost serious himself as his gaze took in the arrived young baron. Balian halting a little farther away from the king, to examine him, noting him to keep his back straight while seated on his own chair regardless of his affliction, the king's regained poise that was a total opposite of the weakness Balian had laid witness to the day before informing Sofia and Saladin’s physicians to have done remarkable job in treating him. Balian smiling inwardly at this thought, where only stared back at the two men, turned earnest by their equally staid demeanors, until Baldwin finally looked up to him.

“So, my friend, the time has come to conclude my affairs”, the king started, getting to the point without wasting time in mincing words. “If I leave the army with Guy, he will take power through my sister and make war on the Muslims. We have decided that you shall take command of the army of Jerusalem…Will you defend my nephew while he’s king?”

Balian was bewildered by such a great position offered to him so suddenly, but he now looked down thoughtfully, considering his proposal. Tiberias measuring him intently while tampered with a rosary in his hand, until Balian's frank eyes rose back to the king.

“Whatever you ask, I will serve”, he complied with a nod, unhesitatingly.

“No, hear it all before you answer”, Baldwin contested, looking at Balian remarkably from behind the mask as leant forward a little. A look of honest interest appearing in his eyes as they studied the baron, to see his reaction to the yet to be presented condition to his just made offer. “Would you marry my sister Sibylla, were she free of Guy de Lusignan?”

The king had taken a slight pause before declaring this particular stipulation, stunning Balian even further with this latest and most gracious of proposals. In grave hesitation Balian mulling over the suggestion for a brief moment, glancing away unsurely, daunted by the presented scenario he hadn’t even dreamed of to be faced with upon learning the king to wish to speak with him...Which left him downright gobsmacked the more he thought about it...More conflicted. Or perhaps not so much, as everything was then laid out in front of him clearly. In order for him to have the entitlement to lead the king’s armies him…having to accept Sibylla’s hand in marriage.

“And Guy?” Balian was obliged to ask, for he also knew that the king’s such offer meant for him to take her current husband’s place in more ways than maritally, his gaze rising again from the carpet to look at Baldwin more severely. The idea of replacing Guy misgiving him, and rightfully so as was next proven by Tiberias’ following reply, his stare significant as he locked brief gazes with dithering Balian.

“He will be executed”, he clarified on behalf of the king, Balian turning to face him in outrage, even though the answer had been obvious. “Along with his knights who do not swear your allegiance.”

“I cannot be the cause of that”, Balian announced instantly. As well without a second thought, but now even more sure of himself, shaking his head slightly as was met with the king’s irises once more before his were cast down. Tiberias arching his brows at him.

“ _Whatever you ask, I will serve_ ”, he reminded Balian of his quickly given promise. The king angling his head to stare at adamant Balian, wheezing a little upon correcting his position as waited for his response. But Balian then returned his gaze only sternly.

“A king may move a man, you said…” he remarked, referring to something Baldwin had told him upon their first meeting…And although he hadn’t back then quite taken it into much account, right that moment he realized how wise words those had been…for they were true. “…but the soul belongs to the man.”

Baldwin weighed his reply for a moment himself, at first a bit surprised by this young knight’s forthright denial and the way he now used his own words against him to turn him down. But then he nodded in concur, recalling that very conversation from all those months ago. “Yes I did.”

“You have my love”, Balian assured, bowing his head slightly as looked up to the king. “And my answer.”

Baldwin was truthfully baffled. He didn't quite understand the reason why Balian refused a chance to marry his sister, as her attachment to this knight was very distinct. Great enough for her to have spent several months at his residence in Ibelin, and surely wouldn’t have stayed there so long without any justification to linger there...So wouldn’t it only be logical to believe Balian to have allowed her prolonged stay because he'd become equally fond of her during that time? But as Baldwin then gave a little more thought to this matter he soon had a realization once he recalled his earlier conversation with Sofia, and everything he’d learned from her…Even if she hadn’t directly told him anything specific. Therefore now believing himself much more enlightened Baldwin nodding contemplatively, against his expectations admitting to have perhaps been wrong about this man…For this reason now choosing to use certain young woman’s words to challenge him and find out where his true allegiance laid once and for all, to be sure.

“Someone also said that a man’s soul does not belong to the man”, the king corrected him, Balian looking up him in wonder. “…but to God. And a man’s heart…it can be possessed by only one person.”

Baldwin gazed at Balian remarkably, like yesterday with Sofia as well finding a confirmation to his present qualms from his brown eyes alone that returned his stare sincerely, and hence resigned and bested by the man’s resolve Baldwin then sighed. Knowing then nothing he could offer to move his already set mind...even less than his very much possessed heart that probably had demured his proposal the moment he’d made it.

“So be it”, he agreed, leaning back. “I do have your answer, so you may return to Ibelin. You have my instructions given to you the last we met.”

Balian nodded, bowing his head at his king one last time until turned to leave. Walking towards the door, where Tiberias now stood from his seat in dismay. Sending a bewildered look after the young man before followed him, the marshal not matching Balian's brisk strides until he was walking along the outer corridor.

“Why do you protect Guy, _hm_?” Tiberias demanded, looking at Balian skeptically who appeared indifferent to his outrage. Tiberias standing in front of him to stop him, looking into Balian's eyes incredulously, to understand why he would turn down such glorious prospects for a man as vile as Guy. “He’s a man who insults you…hates you. He’d kill you himself if he had the chance. And would take Sofia away from you if given the means and an opportunity to that.”

Balian’s mien was now visited by bewilderment in turn as he now raised his gaze to eye at Tiberias quizzically, Tiberias returning his stare only grimly.

“Is she still here?” Balian asked tensely, unnerved by the marshal’s previous remark, but Tiberias shook his head. Quelling his concerns.

“No. I sent her back to Ibelin early this morning after saving her from Guy. It was apparent that he desires her, but for what reason I do not know. Perhaps to get to you through your main servant, her comely looks being only a pleasant perk to indulge in on the side”, Tiberias answered, Balian frowning, and the marshal saw his eyes to harden with instant disdain. But the older man then continued more calmly, speaking more softly to implore to the young man’s if not conscience, but reason once again.

“But for the salvation of this kingdom…would it be so _hard_ to marry Sibylla?” he inquired curiously, going back to the main topic. Noticing Balian to turn a little dejected at the sound of his question, his gaze dropping in fervent ponders that however remained a mystery to Tiberias…Although like the king also he soon had an inkling of them once he continued, failing to change Balian’s mind.

“Jerusalem has no need of a perfect knight”, he added, meeting Balian’s eyes with a hint of a smile. But determination then chased away all the doubt from the young baron's gaze as it locked with his, resolute.

“No”, Balian stated with a shake of his head. “It is a kingdom of conscience…or _nothing_. And when it comes to marrying Sibylla…I cannot. My heart can belong to only one person...And I already have my princess.”

Tiberias was taken aback, but as he now stared at Balian, he saw gentleness to soften the severity of his eyes, making them suddenly warm again after the mere coldness shining from them once their exchange had solely centered around Guy. And as Balian now smiled at his just said words the older crusader reckoned to finally understand his reasons himself, or at least some of them regarding to the more personal end of the king’s suggestion. Shaking his own head in passing disbelief of them, before leveled half disbelieving half amused look at Balian…Sincerely surprised.

“Does this princess even _know_?” he questioned indeed in amusement, Balian’s smile widening.

“No.”

Tiberias was silent for another moment, pondering, until sighed for the last time, waving his hand at Balian in a resigned manner. “Then go. Go and give her her kingdom before she finds a husband and leaves you!” he urged, glancing at the younger man a faint smile on his lips and a remarkable gleam in his eyes, until turned around. Walking away. “After all the most loyal is a vow made out of love…And loving another man would certainly cause her to break her pledge to you, my lord.”

Balian smiled at Tiberias’ words as followed him to vanish within the palace. Yes. Now that his own mind had been cleared from the shadow of doubt thanks to his eye-opening discussion with the king, he now knew what it was that he wanted…And would be sure to tell her that as soon as he would be back at Ibelin.

* * *

Balian finally arrived to the manor after a long ride that however took half a day less than normally due to his eagerness to get back, him dismounting his horse while his eyes immediately peered at the house. Alerted by the sound of approaching horse’s hooves Latif emerging from the manor to find his master to have returned, coming over to take the animal to the stables, where Balian took a first step towards the entrance. Sighing, feeling how an emotion he not until recently had learned to identify as happiness begun to stir within him, but then a familiar voice called out to him from the door…Raising his spirits even more.

“Balian is back! Balian is back!” Kalilah shouted, running down the few steps of stairs as excitedly as ever and Balian grinned automatically. Scooping the girl up into his arms, Kalilah returning his smile as delighted.

“Kalilah’s happy! First momma came back and now Balian came to Kalilah! Now we’re together again!” the girl continued, wobbling in his hold. Balian now turning thoughtful and his eyes scoured their vicinity, however not seeing Sofia.

“Where is your mother?” he asked, Kalilah pointing forward towards the yard.

“Momma went to milk the goats with the others!” she told him, soon pouting. “Kalilah would’ve wanted to help, but momma said Kalilah to scare the goats for them not to give milk!”

Balian chuckled, tilting his head in concur. “She was right.”


	16. Place of Happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Sorry about the wait guys...I've tried to spare some time to edit this chapter earlier, but as life is pretty much draining me of all my energy at the moment I haven't gotten around doing that until now. And I'm not quite sure what became of this chapter, as it took me the whole day to read through this and edit it, as I ended up making some changes to it as well...Although I do lament that upon previously reading through this chapter I did come up with some good changes to the original scenes, but was stupid enough not to write them down...so here we are. But I still adore this story, just as it is.
> 
> Anycase, here you are, and enjoy. 
> 
> _______________________
> 
> Phrases written in bold; Arabic  
> Phrases written in italics; thoughts, memories, quotes

While Sofia was occupied Balian took Kalilah with him to his room, playing with her until about two hours later as expected by her vigorous romp she fell asleep on his bed. Balian taking this as a chance to examine the girl once more, breaking into an immediate smile at the sight of the slumbering child as swept her rich, brown locks away from her face, leaning against the bed’s side. Convinced now more than ever the daughter and mother to truly look alike while asleep…

But Balian was soon roused from his musings at the sound of approaching footfalls and he looked to the door, seeing Sofia to step into the room. Noting that she wasn’t wearing her usual clothes under her muslin, but that she was still dressed into the borrowed gown the royal servants used in the palace. Balian shifting a little as eyed at her nearing figure for a while in turn until stood, smiling at Sofia’s surprise to find Kalilah sleeping soundly in her lord’s bed again. But she then let out a laugh, a warm smile rising on her lips as well as she looked to Balian apologetically.

“I am sorry. She was already tired this afternoon after waiting for you to return so patiently, my lord”, Sofia explained, walking over to the bed and sat down to gaze at her daughter. Balian glancing at Kalilah until his focus went back to the woman by his side.

“It is alright. I rather enjoyed myself with her”, Balian reassured, meeting the now amused eyes of Sofia's.

“You mean she made you go along with every little escapade she’s come up with these days?”

Balian tipped his head, needing not to reply even for Sofia to know the answer. “She’s very convincing for her age.”

Sofia laughed at that. Heartily, her leveling now but a significant look up to the smiling man. “No. You’re just completely smitten with her antics.”

Balian chuckled under his breath in concur, them sharing a brief smile after a fleeting glance directed at Kalilah until it was Sofia’s turn to stand.

“I shall take her to my room”, she said, reaching out to lift Kalilah, but Balian stopped her by taking a hold of her arms. His enduring smile widening.

“No. I can do it”, he offered, exchanging a remarkable look with Sofia in turn, who was eyeing at him taken aback. But before bending down to pick up the huddled child, Balian noticed that calculating look Sofia suddenly gave him, studying his face, however only ignoring her examination Balian carefully raised the sleeping girl from the cushions. Locking gazes with Sofia once more until walked past her to the door, Sofia’s eyes following him all the way to the door unreadable expression in them until he was gone. Balian taking Kalilah straight to Sofia’s room to sleep, placing her under the covers and gave the girl one more smile before left. But as he returned to his rooms and went to the bedroom he was stunned to find Sofia to have left, sighing. Should he go look for her?

Balian walked to the water basin habitually, deciding to wash up and change before going to talk with her. Filling the basin with water to clean his face, not feeling like bathing in his urgency to have the awaited discussion with the woman. But Sofia beat him to the chase by suddenly coming back, upon toweling off Balian turning to meet with her smiling eyes. Noticing her to be carrying something as Sofia now beckoned towards the feet of the bed as a response to his quizzical demeanor.

“It seems you are in need of a shave, my lord”, she elaborated, taking Balian aback again as his hands rose to feel his jaw and cheeks, indeed realizing his beard to have grown longer than it usually was. Sofia smiling at this, placing her tray on the table.

“Please sit. I’ll be ready soon”, she urged, giving Balian one more look until concentrated on preparing her instruments. Balian smiling slightly in return and he obeyed, drying himself off first before threw the towel next to the spot he sat on onto the trunk that had been placed by the bed. And soon Sofia came to him, holding a small bowl of freshly prepped shaving cream while in her other hand she bore scissors and a razor. Her taking a seat on the bed again herself, placing the equipment by her side until examined Balian a little longer, turning his head. Her features soon taking upon a mischievous expression as she cast a quizzical glance at the man.

“Do you wish me to remove it all or do you want to stay in your current fashion?” she questioned, meeting Balian’s eyes only to see denial. Sofia laughing a bit as then fiddled with his as well overgrown hair thoughtfully, tilting her head in compliance. “I agree. Shaved cheeks would not make you look any more sublime, my lord…But maybe I should cut your hair as well if we have time...”

“No. This is enough”, Balian answered with a grateful smile. Sofia nodding as he guided her hand away from combing through the long wisps to see the whole length of them, her taking the scissors in her hand and bent Balian’s head a little backwards before she began to trim his beard in deep concentration.

“Did she wake up?” Sofia soon asked, glancing at Balian briefly. Upon leaning a little forward in her attempt to get a better view her own loose hair falling inside Balian’s shirt, tickling him. Balian shaking his head as gave her far longer locks a lingering look, until he directed his eyes back to the woman in his vicinity.

“No. I dare say not even Darcy to be able to awaken her as so tired she was”, he stated, Sofia smiling in amusement. Balian listening to the sound of the scissors as Sofia continued, using them carefully but as well habitually…Which told him this not to be her first time trimming a man’s beard. But as his thoughts now started to wander he turned suddenly very serious, his voice as well taking a turn to more solemn.

“You shouldn’t have come with us to Kerak”, he said, turning around to level a severe look at Sofia. “You could’ve been killed. That is why I told you to stay…As I said Kalilah has only one mother, and she would be devastated to lose you again.”

Sorrow flickered in Balian’s eyes momentarily at the thought of that as he gazed at Sofia, along with a few other minor scrapes him now taking notice of the bruise that had formed at the corner of her right eye due to the hit she'd gained during the battle. Him raising a hand to touch it, while Sofia also gave him a slightly sad look back before her eyebrows knit together, a sigh escaping her as she closed her eyes.

“And so she has only one father”, she stated, now surprising Balian completely and he looked at her in bewilderment, his fingers retreating from tracing the edges of the bruise as Sofia sighed again. Her eyes rising to lock with his, and they were tender as she then shook her head.

“Kalilah loves you”, she told him, breaking their stare by resuming the trimming of his facial hair. “And she would be as heartbroken to lose you too, my lord…The man she looks up to. The man she has the closest of a father she could ever have…That is why I came with you. For how could I let a man who has become so important to my daughter to die?”

Sofia kept a slight break at that, trying to find words or perhaps resolve to continue until she eventually let out a resigned sigh, her lips bearing a sweet smile at the end as she came clean with what she for a brief moment had been hesitant to say at the fear of the man’s reaction. “I know she has a strong bond with you…which I approve. So only if you feel comfortable with it, my lord, I’ll allow Kalilah to think of you as her father.”

Against Sofia’s reservations Balian was only delighted by her words, but even though he was all in all rather dumbfounded by them, he now recalled something. Thinking a moment until released a breath of his own, meeting Sofia’s eyes again in realization. “You saved me. Without you I might have died there.”

Sofia smiled, eyeing at her lord. “Then wasn’t it good that I disobeyed you?”

Balian let out a laugh, studying her. “You didn’t disobey me. You only didn’t listen to me.”

Sofia’s smile widened for equal mirth but once again she continued to even Balian's beard, them sharing another comfortable silence. Soon enough Balian finding some more of her hair to fall over his shoulder, feeling the soft locks to brush past his chest right above his collar. Him sighing at the feathery feel of it, closing his own eyes for a while until became the first to pick up the paused discussion.

“You knew that man at the desert…” he started, opening his eyes again to cast a glance at the young woman. “...was not the servant of the man I killed.”

Sofia smiled now apologetically. “Forgive me. But as Imad said it was for the best of everyone’s interest to keep our identities hidden…I recognized him back then. After all I had once known him as the commander of my father’s armies back when I was still living at the palace as a little girl.”

Balian quirked his eyebrows curiously. “And the dog? He knew you.”

Sofia cast her eyes down. “He was once mine. Father gave him to me for my 8th birthday.”

To have figured as much Balian tipped an understanding head at her. “Then I see why dogs seem to love you.”

Balian heard Sofia let out a low laugh, her hair tickling him more due to the shaking of her head, and his emerged smile widened. Him next falling into his thoughts until Sofia soon snapped him out of them by rising and circling to his right side, beginning to trim his other cheek. Angling his jaw to her direction until then looked at him questionably, curious herself.

“I heard that the King wanted to see you, my lord”, she mused. “He told me he was to summon you to him after I left…May I inquire what for?”

Balian thought a moment, turning significantly more grim at the sound of her question. “He asked me take command of his armies in place of Guy”, he revealed, flash of anger in his eyes as he said the man’s name. Surprising Sofia but she smiled at the news, eyeing at his jawline.

“That is an honor”, she noted. “What did you answer?”

Balian was pensive for a moment more, his now rather adamant gaze falling as he answered. “I declined.”

Sofia’s hands came to an astonished halt as Balian looked up again, his frown deepening at the recount of what the king and Tiberias had expected of him...And which he’d so readily turned down, the severity of his features easing up a bit now as he told Sofia part of his reasons to have refused the offered post, however still withholding the most defining factor of him to have disclaimed the king’s request. “In order to replace Guy and become the head of the king’s army…I would have to become the future king of Jerusalem.”

Sofia froze due to Balian's latest revelation, the scissors that had stilled just above his cheek now falling a little as she gave him a quick, saddened look of realization before she smiled slightly. Figuring out the rest of which her lord was yet to clarify in regards to the made offer of the king, truthfully not surprised of it.

“You would have to marry Sibylla”, she specified, Balian flinching hardly noticeably. Him now giving her a glance as she looked away instead, that polite smile on her lips as she continued her meticulous cutting after a brief moment of ponder. “Would it be so horrible? If you could do your share in changing things to better by accepting the king’s offer and indeed be wed to such an elegant woman like lady Sibylla? Just as your father hoped you would.”

“I’m no king”, Balian responded, staring forward after giving the signet ring on his finger a passing glance. “I’m not even a true lord. I only became one after arriving to Holy Land as a man who had nothing where I came from.”

Sofia paused once more, now straightening and she gave her lord a serious look this time around, examining him. But she then surprised Balian, in clear disagreement of his view of himself.

“You are a king”, she objected, causing Balian to gasp again and he turned to meet with Sofia’s eyes that looked back at him earnestly. However now softening as she put away the scissors and took Balian’s hand, bringing him to his feet and walking him to the balcony after pushing the twin doors aside. Sofia's gaze next sweeping over the lush landscape until faced puzzled Balian, smiling.

“Look at this”, she exhorted, Balian's eyes shifting from Sofia to the vast plains below him at the behest of her following words. “These lands are your kingdom. All the families living here, all women, children and men…to them you are like a king who looks after them.”

Sofia now smiled sweetly once more, her own eyes slowly reverting back to gaze at the young baron as she continued. “It doesn't matter what you once were. Because here, now…you have all the makings of your own kingdom, Balian.”

Balian flinched at that, but for pure astonishment this time. Sofia had never called him by his name, only once before and now…he knew it to have been somewhat different, everything about her seeming so the moment his Christian name had slipped her lips, possibly by accident…Or not. Him turning to stare at Sofia, locking gazes with her as she simply smiled at him again. A warm smile that reached her eyes, Balian eventually breaking into one as well, amused.

“Then all I need is a queen”, he mused, but against his purpose Sofia’s smile faltered due to this humorous remark. Her eyes swiftly dropping from his before she made her way back inside.

“I’m sure lady Sibylla would gladly be with you if you only let her, my lord”, she responded, Balian frowning at that reverted, less lively tone of hers. Walking after her in an immediate desire to change that, not liking to see her dispirited by the opposite of what he’d just tried to convey.

“Sofia…”

“Why did you refuse when the king offered her hand to you?” Sofia inquired then, turning to face him again, but this time in honest confusion. “I know she has taken a great fancy to you. And undoubtedly you must have been as infatuated by her as well during her stay here…”

In the end unable to follow through all of her speculations Sofia moved her eyes away, eventually turning away from Balian to stare out of the window with but a blank expression. Balian trying to interpret it for a while, momentarily discouraged by the badgering unawareness of the course of her mind, until he then approached her. Serious, his own countenance however softening the longer he gazed at the young woman.

“I could not marry her”, he explained, smiling tardily. “Because then I would make her as miserable as Guy.”

“How could that be? You care for her do you not?” Sofia queried incredulously, inclining her head to her lord’s direction. Sensing his eyes on her as Balian now shook his head in denial.

“She does not have my heart”, he revealed. Sofia sighing in consent, closing her eyes.

“Well, then you are right. You need to love someone from the bottom of your heart to make them happy”, she concurred, once more gazing out of the window while refusing to look at the man, Balian finally detecting an emotion in her irises. Which was sadness. Despite of that him then smiling at her more widely, keeping his own gaze strictly riveted to her.

“Thank you, Sofia”, he said, surprising the woman who frowned slightly.

“For what?”

“For staying with me.”

Sofia didn't answer at first, but Balian then saw her release another sigh before she then smiled ever so gently. Her features regaining their gaiety for a fleeting moment as she replied, finally looking at Balian. “I wouldn't wish to be anywhere else, my lord.”

Happiness invaded Balian’s heart at the sound of that, him now taking an instinctive step forward and Sofia turned automatically to face him. Her eyes instantly locking with Balian's, and her own expression turned but nonplussed due to the peculiar look on the man’s face that she couldn’t construe…To have never seen him like this before, it intimidating her.

“I do not understand you, my lord”, she admitted, measuring Balian carefully. Suddenly taken aback by the way he now appeared to gaze at her with a whole new regard of some kind, it daunting her in a strange way upon encountering it for the first time in her life. “I’ve always been good at reading people. But you…now, in your eyes…I do not…”

Sofia looked down, in abrupt loss of words, escaping Balian’s so keen become stare that made the words run away from her tongue unlike ever before. Him eyeing at her fondly, heedless to her conflict as came to a halt in front of her. Sweeping an encouraging hand over the back of her wrist to lure her eluding irises back up to him.

“Look again”, he urged. Sofia taking in a long breath but she did raise her head to gaze into the brown of Balian’s eyes, to which he responded by leaning a little lower. Closer, upon made his following question, partly not even noticing to voice out the pestering wonder that for some time had plagued his mind, his fingers now giving her palm an enquiring squeeze. “What do you see when you look into my eyes?”

Sofia stared back at him in silence, searching his features and gaze with now undeniably tender eyes herself. Doing this for a while until smiled, her attention like before drawn away from her lord's demeanor, and Balian next watched how her hands rose, setting onto his chest tentatively before commenced to stroke his shirt. Until then one close to unbearable moment later Sofia finally looked into his eyes again.

“Love.”

Her voice had been unsure. Quizzical, close to a whisper, as if she'd been afraid to be presuming something that wasn't there. But with no avail, as due to her response even greater joy took over Balian in an instant, this time but encouraged him then yanking Sofia to him on an impulse. Kissing her passionately, the ardor of his reaction surprising even himself, as much as it did the woman subjected to his zealous endearment.

However being it so sudden and ardent, in that same instant his lips had sought confirmation to his demanding urge from Sofia’s Balian realized to have hold this in for a long time now. But regardless of her imminent dismay Sofia didn't hesitate long to return the gesture as eagerly, her hands that at first had remained on his chest at a loss now rising to his cheeks, to bring him closer before moving on to caress his hairline. Her however not reacting to the kiss as fiercely as Balian, but didn't find his ardor intimidating this time around, accepting him. Only spurring Balian's fervor.

While still lost to the bliss of the kiss they turned, Balian clutching to Sofia desperately as soon began to propel her to the direction of the bed in the surge of emotions roaring within him, the abruptly flared up affection pumping in his veins demanding. Leading his hands as they locked Sofia into their tight embrace during their rushed shuffle across the floor, but just as he thought it to be impossible in a blink of an eye he as suddenly pulled away from Sofia, breaking free of the rapture of her lips which almost had drowned out all voice of reason while responding to his touch…Only God knowing how he was able to stop.

Sofia’s eyes opened and she blinked, leveling a confused look at him. Searching his features again in wonder, out of breath, upon evening his own Balian meeting her brightened dark ponds of deep water with his hazel ones. Shaking his head, which caused Sofia then to frown slightly once she heard him speak, his words leaving her even more addled from before.

“No…Not like this.”

Sofia stepped away from him. Now leveling a somewhat hurt glance at him as after a brief bafflement assumed Balian's sudden refusal as regret of what had just happened, her hands sliding down from his neck in lingering doubt and all the way to his chest until in eventual realization she turned away. Placing a rueful hand on her lips as stepped away from him, closing her eyes. Actual pain she hadn't expected to feel starting to quickly take hold of her as the feeling of disappointment only added to the ache of the rejection, it all centering around one simple question...Did not her lord want her? Of course he didn't, how could've she even considered such a folly to be likely…To have only briefly fooled herself to believe so by surrendering to her such hopes of him in fact seeing her even remotely as something similar as princess Sibylla…

Sofia let out a disheartened sigh, in understanding of that her now trying to leave the room, Balian however stopping her by reaching out a hand to grasp her wrist again. To bring her escape to a halt before took a hold of her jaw, turning her to face him like before. Her eyeing at him questionably, even further mystified by the man, but let out a breath once Balian gently brought her over to him to press close to her, pulling her hair behind her back. His hands retreating until stopped at her neck, pushing under the loosely put on scarf to feel her warm skin, faint smile taking possession of his lips.

“Like this”, he whispered. Sofia now taking in a breath as she then allowed Balian to explain himself by simply kissing her again, but this time only tenderly. Gradually, Balian not wanting to become one of those men who'd touched Sofia before, forcing themselves on her without her consent…No, he would show her that he cared for her, genuinely. Being as gentle as he could, taking his time in proving himself different from all the other men in Sofia's life with his but affectionate touches.

Sofia relaxed in Balian's arms, delighted once her lord’s adoring fingers swept over her cheeks while the kiss lasted, all her momentarily surfaced doubts whisked away with that most significant endearment. Sofia reckoning not to have felt this happy ever before, perhaps only once Kalilah had woken up after weeks of fever, but actually no. No, she wasn't quite as joyful now but even more, Balian’s lips on hers making her realize that she could never be happier than now in this man's embrace…That in turn causing her to wonder how on earth hadn't she seen how deeply she'd come to care for him before this moment? Well now she did, admitting to cherish this long time protector of hers from all her being...And not only because she owed her freedom to him.

Balian finally pulled away from her, resting his forehead against Sofia’s momentarily until opened his eyes to stare into hers. Finding them not to be shy or rejecting, but instead Balian felt her irises to be calling out to him. Looking into his somehow inviting as she then leant away once a gust of wind put out the candles in the room, enveloping them into the twilight of the early night. Sofia soon stepping away from him, taking his hands for him to follow, their eyes remaining locked to one another as she led him forward with slow steps. Sofia however halting due to light jerk of Balian's arm, still gazing at him once he now raised his hand, pulling her scarf away to push his fingers into her hair. And still not breaking their deep stare it was his turn to walk her towards the bed, Sofia soon coming to another halt once her legs were met with hard edge of it, Balian drawing nearer again. Now slipping the muslin from her shoulders, it falling on the floor before Balian tipped his head down to claim Sofia’s lips once more. Them sharing another long, soft, exploring kiss until Sofia dropped onto the bed’s edge, Balian not parting from her once he fell to his knees in front of her. Lifting his hands to land them on her shoulders, starting to slide Sofia’s dress away. Slight sigh escaping Sofia's lips as she felt the gown to fall down from her upper body, replaced by the warmth of Balian’s fingers as they gingerly explored the exposed skin with a few passing strokes until he now separated from her. Sofia locking gazes with him until his eyes next spared a few seconds to simply examine her, but totally differently from the manner Sofia had been accustomed to.

In a moment like this no man had ever looked at Sofia without lust in their eyes, but from all her masters Balian was the first to gaze at her this way, so calmly, far from that aroused manner men had always eyed at her in the past whenever she’d been obliged to expose herself to them like this. But this indeed was different from all those times of intimacy, because what Sofia now saw in Balian’s eyes wasn't pure desire, but something that she’d longed to see in a man the longer she’d been forced to live as mere object of male desires. Indeed finding more value in her than her striking eyes and glowing skin, as a proof of that Balian’s smiling gaze now falling to eye at her birthmark after taking every inch of her in tenderly. The very same he'd seen on Kalilah, his hand rising yet again to trace it with his thumb, where Sofia's gentle eyes remained focused on him, the least embarrassed of his view of her bare upper body. Her poise actually taking Balian aback but thought not much of it as then cast his eyes up again to look deep into Sofia’s own, to see how they called out to him once more. Sofia's other hand settling onto his wrist where the other brought his face closer to hers, hence provoked Balian not being able to bring himself to resist any longer. Kissing her again, more avidly.

His hands now slid back up through her shoulders onto her neck, moving on her back as he brought her closer, unlike before now understanding first hand himself what was it that made Sofia worth paying treasures amount of riches to have her. Balian breaking apart from her, eyes closed, his lips next moving across her jawline and trailing down her neck before placing a tender kiss on it. Conjuring up a sigh from Sofia, whose arms also found their way on his back once Balian laid her down gently, her feeling every muscle trough his shirt to vibrate under her fingers as his hands continued to slowly roam about her body. Sofia leaning into his touch once one of his palms slid down past her waist, while the other moved over to trail the curve of her calf once her leg rose to hook behind his lower back...But a sudden knock then broke their little bubble of ecstasy, both of them gasping at the abrupt sound, Balian soon however ignoring it as simply brought his hands back up. Placing them onto Sofia’s sides, teasing her as gingerly slid them upward, Sofia arching herself higher to welcome his touch as her own fingers trailed their way up Balian’s back. To expose some of his own skin to her soft strokes that soon brushed over his shoulder blades, making Balian even more eager to simply forget the person whose voice then echoed from the entrance two rooms away.

“My lord Balian!” one of the servants shouted from the door, his voice appearing a bit anxious as it called out to his lord urgently. “You have a visitor!”

“Tell him to return tomorrow!” Balian shouted back, however not as much as looking up from the woman below him as shifted his head to land a lingering kiss on the right side of Sofia’s neck. Her hand brushing up the back of his head once his lips made their way downward again, inching lower, before she grasped his head to kiss him.

“My lord, it is princess Sibylla!”

Sofia halted in middle of her intent, her eyes snapping open in shock as Balian was as well surprised, the apparent arrival of the princess causing him to separate from her. Balian frowning as he was momentarily confused by the unexpected announcement, hesitating, now rising fully from on top of Sofia as then looked at her apologetically who levered herself up to return his gaze. Balian sighing at her expression, leaning his temple briefly against the bend of her leg, until grazed it with his lips, lastly sweeping his hand through her hair as sat up resigned. Smiling.

“I’ll come back”, he promised, leaning down to place a peck on her lips before stood. Sofia nodding, smiling back at him weakly as watched him adjust his shirt. “Wait here.”

Sofia followed Balian to exit the room, soon hearing the door close as a sign of her to have been left alone in his quarters. Instantly sudden sorrow grasping her heart, her this time releasing a downcast sigh as she thought over what the servant had just said. Sibylla was here? Then could it mean that…?

With a painful twinge Sofia now sat up, looking down sadly as gazed upon her undressed self before raised her gown back onto her shoulders with slow movements, trying not to remember the affectionate caresses that just previously had made everything else in the world disappear, as took the muslin from the floor. Rising herself, not helping but ending up thinking about Sibylla who had suddenly decided to visit at such an untimely hour…Although not only Balian but also Sofia to have come to understand why.

She should've seen this. She…wasn't the right woman to offer affection to her lord, but the one who now was downstairs with him was. Sofia…had her place, and Sibylla was something she anymore wasn’t…Could offer him so much more than she could, at the thought of this Sofia discovering Zuleika to have been probably right to warn them not to suit one another in the end…Because who could she ever be to him?

Upon realizing this with a heavy heart Sofia then returned back to the reality, however still unable to disregard the effort such an act took as walked out of the bedroom with a sad breath. Trudging through the rooms all the way to the door with desolate steps, exiting her lord's quarters.

Balian walked down the stairs in haste, but most of all in utmost confusion over Sibylla's unannounced return to Ibelin. He didn’t know what to make of it, especially when he had a strong inkling of the cause for her visit, but what he knew instead was that he was extremely bothered by the look Sofia had given him the moment he'd left his room. So even he'd told her to wait for him…He wasn’t sure would she. For he had after all left her in such a situation for the sake of another woman, Balian sighing at this vexing fact and partially indeed reprimanding himself to have done just that, as now exited the manor and arrived to the yard. Finding several horsemen loitering about the premises, Sibylla dismounting from her own horse upon seeing him come out of the house.

“Sibylla!” he called, his tone quizzical as the princess now hurried over to him, her upset features reflecting but sorrow and disbelief. Her gazing back at Balian for a moment as came to a fleeting halt with a slight incredulous, perhaps even betrayed shake of her head, until then closed the distance between them. Paying no need to the soldiers who were keeping an attentive eye on them as pressed close to him, embracing him, indeed making it then clear to Balian why she had made such a long journey all the way from Jerusalem just to see him.

“Who are you to refuse a king?” she asked, indeed incredulously, Balian only staring down in silence. Frowning a little as listened to Sibylla, her givenly distraught expression turning then more severe as she continued, clutching to him as pursued to change his mind with her following remark that indeed strove to convince him of the error of his decision, along with the desperate undertone of her voice. “I will have power. Without Guy or with him…Guy isn’t dead at your say-so, or my brother’s. But at _mine_.”

Balian locked grim gazes with Sibylla as she now drew apart from him, looking up to him.

“Do you have any idea of Jerusalem, except that it is yours?” he demanded, in disbelief himself of her words as his eyebrows knitted together sternly. “You will never hold it in peace, as your bother did. It will be _war_.”

“My grandfather took Jerusalem in blood”, Sibylla responded somberly. “I’ll keep it the same way, or any way I can.”

Meanwhile on her way to the kitchen Sofia froze in middle of the stairway as she caught a sight of them talking at the yard through a window, surprised after believing them to have retired somewhere more private. But as she then saw the way Sibylla was looking at her lord in a similar fashion she had but minutes earlier, her hands stroking his face, Sofia let out a distressed sigh herself. Hiding behind the wall in fear of being spotted, although there was little possibility for them to see her standing there. Her heart that had been filled with sincere happiness just a moment past now weighed down by sadness the sight of that woman in Balian’s arms created...The painful realization, heartbreak some may have called it, imbedding her to that spot. Despite of not wishing to hear any of the words they must’ve been exchanging that must’ve confirmed that what she already knew Sofia finding herself incapable of leaving, listening in to their discussion that faintly carried over to her ears.

Sibylla’s features now softened as she caressed Balian’s cheek, clear affection in her eyes as she eyed at him. Gazing at him hopelessly as her affinity was soon partially replaced by subtle plead, her smiling slightly, where Balian just looked back at her silently. “I am what I am. I offer you that…and the world.”

Sibylla then leant close to Balian, trying to kiss him, Sofia frowning at the sight as peeked at the pair just then, however against her presumptions of him accepting the princess’ advances Balian raised his jaw with a sigh. Closing his eyes briefly.

“You say no?” Sibylla stated questionably, in further disbelief. Sofia eyeing at them in utmost confusion herself after beholding Balian to turn down Sibylla's gesture of intimacy, him now leveling a significant look down at the addled woman.

“Do you think I’m like Guy?” he inquired in turn grievously, gauging at Sibylla in disbelief of his own. “That I would sell my soul?”

Sofia wasn't able to prevent the now honest feeling of relief to wash over her at the sound of his words. Instant smile spreading on her lips as she briefly leant against the wall, now in understanding of Balian’s true feelings that once more had been left somewhat unclear to her after his previous exit from his quarters, but now reassured she then grabbed her dress’ hem. Heading back to the second floor with but lighthearted steps this time, where indeed unaware of Sofia's presence Sibylla was staring at Balian in even greater doubt. Maybe even in slight anger now after her initial shock of him refusing her love had subsided, her soon turning around to leave, but in middle of her walk back to her escort she halted to level a rather bitter look at Balian. Anger indeed gracing her grave features as she looked upon the man, but one look at her then told him her to be far more deeply hurt by his rejection...Balian frowning in regret, to have not wished to end up in a situation where he had to cause such pain to her simply by doing what both his conscience and heart compelled him to do.

“There’ll be a day”, Sibylla mused. “…when you will wish you had done a little evil…to do a greater good.”

Her voice had been so desolate that for the first time since his meeting with the king Balian was faced with the gravity of his actions, her just said words embodying the soon ensuing consequences of his refusal to abode by the king’s request loud and clear, and although he still didn’t regret the choice he’d made, in chagrin Balian watched Sibylla’s mien to be consumed by pain mixed with sorrow. Her current expression reminding much of the look Sofia had given him earlier upstairs, until before the tears that had welled up in her eyes could fall Sibylla whipped around. Subdued, Balian glancing down remorsefully due to the distress he'd once more brought to a woman in his life, but couldn’t bring himself to fully blame himself for it…For they could never be. There could never be that light she’d once seen between them, even here in the East, or any place else.

Balian watched Sibylla to ride out of the gates with her guards, upon seeing the last rider to disappear into the darkness him sighing for the second time and twirled around. Heading straight back to the manor and rushing upstairs, all the while wearing a worried frown. Had Sofia left?

Balian felt dejected at this thought, fearing Sofia possibly to have misunderstood the meaning of Sibylla's visit, leading her to also misinterpret what had happened between them just before her arrival. But Balian was surprised but most of all relieved as after entering the bedroom again he did find her there, her back turned to him as she sat on the edge of his bed. Sofia's head shifting towards the sound of his steps as Balian stopped momentarily at the doorway.

“You’re still here”, he noted. Sofia smiling at the delight in his voice.

“Do you then wish me to leave?” she inquired, Balian now seeing her to turn on her spot to look into his eyes. Him instantly crossing the room to get to her, sitting down with definite a shake of his head.

“No”, he answered, Sofia’s smile widening as he picked up her hand that rested on her knee. Holding her gaze, until soon after a short exchange of stares Balian experienced the same rush of desire that instantly drove him to lean forward, to kiss Sofia.

At the feel of his lips Sofia turned fully around, Balian moving in front of her to close her into his arms briefly until pushed her down to the bedding. Them kissing for a while until Balian raised his head, his hands securing on her waist again as they eyed at one another, Sofia smoothing his hair now but reassured of that which she’d taken note of. Yes…What Sofia now saw in this man’s eyes was love. Pure love, there was no doubt about it, and she found herself foolish to have ever believed otherwise. Sofia letting out a breath after at the behest of her tug of his shirt Balian disposed of the garment, her smiling eyes giving a measuring look to Balian until they closed. Her hand traveling from his bare shoulder to his collarbone, until with a sideways glance directed at the partially healed wound on his arm her palm moved over to touch the bandages absentmindedly, her eyes soon enough finding Balian’s again. To see him gaze at her indeed unlike anyone had before, so fondly that it made her feel worthy of that single amorous look he was giving her.

“This is the first time…” she breathed. “…that a man sees me as a woman. And not as a mere Saracen courtesan.”

Balian smiled at that amused, leaning closer. “To me…you’re just Sofia. I know but a veiled woman I met on my way to Holy Land.”

Sofia returned his smile, now stroking his still uneven beard until then shot an amused look at him herself as stilled her hand at the bend of his neck, eyeing at him playfully. “What do you command, my master?”

“My command is…that you now give up your oath to me as a servant…” Balian answered, joining her tease by leaning even lower, placing a kiss below her ear. “…and just be Sofia. A simple Saracen woman.”

Sofia’s gaze and smile both softened. “As you wish, my lord.”

Sofia angled her head to kiss Balian in turn, her hands taking support from his shoulders until she then broke apart as lured by her endearment he settled fully on top of her. Sofia drawing herself away from the man as called his name, unlike she’d ever called any man’s name before. “Balian."

The sound of that triggered the passion in him and Balian moved in to kiss Sofia back, more ardently this time as well, his own hands finding their way up her body to pull down her dress before continuing to venture further to trace the arch of her back. Him feeling Sofia to place a kiss on his neck, and he returned the gesture soon enough by planting several of his own on her upper body. Finding himself completely contended for the first time in months once unlike before he was then allowed to get lost into the bliss of him giving Sofia every bit of affection she’d been denied of so far in her life, without anyone coming to bother them.

* * *

Sofia woke up in middle of the night, probably about a few hours after falling asleep in Balian’s arms. Her head now resting on his chest, her hand laying on his stomach, and now awake Sofia followed it to move up and down in the rhythm of his calm breathing. Sofia sighing, closing her eyes momentarily again as relished in the feel of her lord’s embrace, which gave her the comfortable sense of warmth and protection…But no, this man was not her lord any longer.

Sofia’s gaze rose, her angling her head to have a better view of sleeping Balian, instant affection filling her heart that then began to race due to the sight of the man by her side…Due to the love she know knew to feel for him, but which she had been blinded to identify as such because of her stubborn, unyielding loyalty to him as a servant…But no longer.

Sofia raised herself higher, her hair sweeping over Balian’s torso it had swung over, and she feared to wake him. Balian however only stirring a little in his rather deep slumber, turning on his side as his hand that had fallen from Sofia’s waist now pushed under his head. Sofia smiling at him, inching to a sitting position to move some hair out of his eyes, until then the sentiments she'd anticipated to surface now took over her…Overwhelming her.

Sofia gazed at Balian then quite sadly, pulling her hand back from caressing his face as sighed deep. Turning away from the man as slipped from under the covers and rose from the bed, taking her muslin from where it had remained to put it on. Closing it around herself with her arms as next went outside to the terrace, to stare up to the dark sky. Finding it to be still late, but not early either...Sofia walking to the same cluster of chairs she'd once seated on with Balian on a similar night like this, again pulling her legs under herself upon sitting down, gazing up to the stars hopelessly.

She'd done it…She'd returned to the ways of the past she'd sworn to never revert back to…But regardless that night she'd forgotten that promise by breaking against her God. Again.

Sofia knew that this time didn’t differ from any of those times she'd laid with men. Only difference was that this time she'd done it not simply because she had to but because she'd wanted to. She loved this man she'd so far respected as her lord and protector, so unlike before she'd given herself to him willingly…But that was exactly the reason why she was ashamed of her actions in some part of her, for as noted this time she'd had the choice whether to break against the teachings of Koran or not by sleeping with a man…And she'd after all chosen to ignore the demand of not only her other religion but also the stipulations of Chistianity, which both enjoined women to remain pure until marriage. Although that had long ago become unattainable for Sofia, but to her it was a matter of principle, which now at the dead of the night when everything was quiet and her thoughts could run rampant caused her happiness to be greatly shadowed by guilt…Had she done sin?

Sofia released a shaky breath, feeling ambivalent tears then to roll down her cheeks partly without any reason, and even crying felt wrong at the moment…For she loved Balian, where she'd never loved any of the men she'd been a possession of before him. She loved him, so was what she did wrong? How _could_ it be wrong? She was already spoiled enough not to be included into the demands of Koran or Bible, already a sinner, but nevertheless still feeling bad about her deeds even they made her happy at the same time. So while mulling over her emotions Sofia then just sat there, fallen into such thoughts, trying to find the answer she however knew to be impossible to find…And greatly due to that realization her tears kept falling by themselves, as long as at some point later on Balian found her. To have awoken alone. but upon at first thinking her to have returned to her own room quickly spotting her outside. Now stepping to the balcony, eyeing at her in bafflement to see her sit there alone.

“It’s cold”, his voice spoke up abruptly from behind Sofia’s back, startling her, before she soon felt his hands to land on her shoulders. “You're wearing nothing warm.”

Balian looked down at her, taking immediate notice of her tears, which caused him to frown in bewilderment. To eye at the young woman in worry. “What are you doing here out of bed, crying by yourself?”

Sofia shook her head. Looking up to him with a carefree smile. “It is nothing.”

Balian measured her, gauging at her reply until eventually made a slow nod. But then taking Sofia’s hand he pulled her up, wrapping a gentle arm around her as glanced at the indeed thin muslin covering her frame remarkably. “You’ll freeze.”

Sofia gave his shirtless upper body a significant look as well but said nothing as just returned back inside with an amused smile. Wiping her cheeks, Balian casting a slightly jaded look at her upon detecting the hint in her gaze, but only joined her by the bedside after closing the balcony doors behind them, turning Sofia around to kiss her for a moment. Soon pulling her back into the covers, her throwing the muslin on the chair before settled herself back into Balian’s welcoming arms, where he resumed his previous tracing of her birthmark from before. An endless smile curving up the corners of his lips.

“Can’t you sleep?” he asked, Sofia shaking her head.

“I just woke up and started to think.”

Balian glanced at her. “About something that made you cry?”

“It was a silly thought. Nothing to be concerned of.”

“Sofia…”

Sofia sighed at Balian's accosting tone, pressing her forehead against his cheek to feel the tingle of his stubble, until turned on her back. Staring at the canopy, frowning a little. “I just began to wonder was this choice of mine wrong…I just thought was it wrong of me to…share a bed with you.”

Balian was surprised by this but he now turned momentarily serious as well, directing a taken aback look at Sofia’s profile and witnessed her inner struggle, although not agreeing with her understanding her sentiments. Taking her hand while brought his other palm up to rake through her hair, spreading it over himself into a dark, silky fabric.

“It was not”, he reassured, smiling. “Because if this were adultery…the Commandments are not for people like us. They are for the others.”

Balian succeeded in raising her spirits as Sofia let out a small laugh at that, closing her eyes. Next just giving in again and simply indulged in the intimacy of Balian’s secure embrace, relying on the answer he'd just provided her with. But after a short silence filled with nothing but the quiet noises of the night Balian started to speak, completely arbitrarily.

“You once said you've been to many places…” he remarked, looking at Sofia now in interest. “Which is the most peculiar place you’ve been to?”

Sofia was indeed surprised by his inquiry, but she then smiled. Thinking, until her smile widened and she turned on her side again to face Balian who was waiting for her answer, leaning his head against his knuckles.

“Siberia”, she revealed, seeing Balian’s eyes to widen. But he then looked contemplative before broke into a new smile of his own, running a finger past her jawline.

“What is it like there?” he inquired, Sofia letting out another laugh.

“Cold. _Very_ cold. You need at least three furs to stay warm there while outside in wintertime”, she answered, turning pensive for a moment again. “And there is very much snow. So much that you could drown in it if you aren't careful.”

Balian’s smile turned entranced as he gazed up, smoothing Sofia’s upper back absentmindedly after pulling her closer, listening to her tale as she continued.

“The climate is so cold there during winter that simple fire won’t warm the wooden castles found there. But you also need many furs on top of your bedsheets and a herd of dogs to stay warm during nights…I always had at least five of them sleeping in my bed.”

Balian let out a small chuckle at the mental image of her wedged between a cluster of large canines. Sofia being able to feel him to be playing with her hair again, but as she then looked upon his hands she was confused to see him to be braiding them. With a frown her gazing at the man in bafflement who did then have a slightly embarrassed look in his eyes until he shrugged, tipping a casual head at her wondering expression.

“Something Kalilah taught me”, he said. “She asked me to braid her hair today, but was so disappointed when I couldn’t that she showed me how to do it.”

Sofia now claimed the woven locks from his fingers and eyed at them matter-of-factly, narrowing her eyes at him. “If you are practicing with my hair you should get much more of it before touching my daughter’s curls. Her hair isn’t like mine, it is hard to be as much as brushed smooth from all the tangles…Believe the woman who has to engage with them every day.”

Balian let out a new, more heartfelt laugh, raking Sofia’s hair open from the messy foray of a braid. “Only if I have you to practice with.”

“Who else.”

Sofia then said nothing for a while until turned more earnest again, Balian feeling her shoulders to tense a little and her voice lowered once she required a moment to continue. “It was at Siberia…where I saw Guy for the first time.”

Balian’s eyes snapped back down to stare at her in dismay. “You had met Guy before coming to Holy Land?”

“Not exactly met. I saw him once at the castle my former master lived in, but it was so briefly that I didn't recognize him until I heard his name at the Pilgrim camp…Guy was the cousin of my master of that time.”

Balian frowned, the familiar mix of disgust and anger raising it head within him once again as he mulled over Sofia’s words, bettering his hold of her, as then came to recall her to have had a fleeting run-in with the man at Jerusalem.

“Did he do something to you? Guy”, he demanded then, a bilious edge to his voice. “Tiberias told me he harassed you at the palace.”

“No. No, Tiberias arrived just in time before he could do anything”, Sofia replied, feeling Balian to relax under her, and his chest dropped slightly as he sighed in relief. His passing ire now whisked away by the smile he received from Sofia, soothing him. Him making a curt nod before swept his hand across her chin, them next just laying in each other's arms for a while, silent, until Sofia continued to talk.

“Guy had come to visit his cousin back then”, she told him. “…and during his stay my master was bragging to have purchased a new mistress for himself…Of royal blood, who was rumored to be a true princess back in Holy Land from where his cousin had come from…So intrigued by this I believe Guy was convinced of his words, as about two days later after he'd left the castle…my master was killed. At the hands of Guy, as it were his men who apparently ambushed him in the forest during a hunt before murdering him.”

“To get you to himself”, Balian specified, in given contempt as it wasn’t hard to imagine Guy’s motives taken his evident interest in Sofia from the first moment he’d seen her. Sofia nodding faintly.

“I was then immediately taken from Siberia and after a couple of months delivered to Europe after Guy had bought me, and there I was lastly smuggled to France...Where I met you, Balian. Where you saved me.”

“Wasn’t it my father who saved you?” Balian corrected in amusement, looking into Sofia’s eyes. Her sighing, now rolling on top of him as eyed at him fondly.

“You did you part. You gave me water. Brought me food”, she reminded, Balian shifting the position of his head to level a feigned look of irritation at her.

“Food which you didn’t eat”, he countered, inclining his head to make a tantalising point.

“It is the matter of principle, is it not Balian?”

Balian then took Sofia aback by sitting, grabbing her and causing her to end up on his lap. Seized by his arms, Balian now kissing her jaw after gracing her lips with a fleeting kiss. “It sounds so good when you say my name”, he stated, opening his eyes, this time a sarcastic look on his mien however as he locked gazes with Sofia. “Although I had just gotten accustomed to be called “ _your lord”._ Maybe you should call me that after all…”

Sofia sighed, rising from his lap to leave the bed once more. But Balian didn't let her by grasping her by her arms, swinging her around playfully. Sofia landing on his back as he was quick to roll onto her next, locking her to her place so that she wasn't able to escape him. But his actions were only gentle and he wore a playful smile on his lips, Sofia meeting his amused eyes before they took her in.

“You’re not going anywhere”, he mused, kissing Sofia for the umpteenth time. “Amira Sofia.”

Sofia let out a soft snort, turning her back to Balian as settled onto her stomach. While still hovering above her Balian moving her hair away, before positioning himself next to her to simply examine the young woman for awhile, until the tattoo he’d already seen a glimpse of once before hit his eyes. Balian sitting up again, leaning in to trace its pattern, enquiring smile rising to his lips.

“What is this?” he questioned, Sofia facing him.

“Can’t you tell?” she asked back. “I’ve seen the drawings on your desk, so I reckon you to know a thing or two about pictures.”

Balian said nothing as only smiled, leaning a tad lower as eyed at the henna tattoo. But Sofia then let out a defeated breath.

“It’s a hibiscus”, she told him, Balian nodding and planting another kiss at the base of the flower.

“I thought as much.”

He then laid back down, them then eyeing at one another in undisrupted silence, until Balian’s gaze then softened once during that moment of absolute clarity he also came to understand something. Something he now was more than sure about as he placed his hand on top of Sofia’s palm, threading his fingers with hers.

“I love you”, he told her. Sofia’s eyes widening for surprise and she lifted herself higher, Balian’s eyes never leaving hers as he now raised his other hand to touch the tattoo on her lips, his words but sincere as he continued. “I never thought of loving another woman after my wife, but you have captivated me before I even noticed it…And now I know I was wrong.”

Sofia’s eyes as well softened, but at first she couldn’t take his words as truth, for from all the men she'd known no one had ever told her to love her. But as she now saw Balian to smile at her like that, so tenderly with no lie in his eyes, his hand tracing her features before pushing into her hair, she broke into a beaming smile of her own at the sound of Balian’s following words.

“You said there’ll never be a man to give you happiness”, he said, more earnestly now but still never shifting his eyes from Sofia's, as well rising a little from his spot as leaned closer to her. To signify how serious he was, that he was sure of what he was then to ask of her. “Let me be that man, Sofia. To both you and Kalilah. I don’t need any promise made to my father to bind me anymore to protect you…Because I shall do so. Even if no vow would oblige me.”

Sofia felt her eyes to be filled with tears of joy. But this time she held them back as just smiled overjoyed, gazing at Balian, the man she had come to adore more than she could’ve imagined. Pressing close to him, nodding, causing Balian to smile too overt happiness visible deep within his eyes, which he then closed as Sofia kissed him softly. After returning her endearment as lovingly him soon pulling her back into his affectionate embrace, until after a moment of drawing calm patterns on Sofia’s back Balian broke apart. Locking gazes with her until she placed her head on his shoulder with a content sigh, this time playing with the wisps of his hair at the back of his neck.

“Tell me”, he then urged her, tightening his hold of Sofia. “What happened the night you had to kill one of your masters.”

Sofia stiffened, but this time only due to mere horror of that dreaded occurrence of her past that Balian so abruptly brought up, completely confused by his so radical change of subject. Him feeling her brows to knit together against his skin and her fingers clenched into a fist on his arm, but he soon caught it. Entwining his fingers with hers again to take hold of her palm that bore the mark of that much dreaded affair, tracing the scar tardily.

“I know it bothers you, as the act of murder I committed weighed my mind as greatly. I don’t want you to carry such darkness within you alone, Sofia. Talk to me”, Balian continued. “It will help you. Talking to you also cleared much of by guilt.”

Sofia was silent, but she then let out a long breath. Him squeezing her frame encouragingly, compassion practically radiating from him. From the position of his arms wrapped around her and his gaze that swept over her to his very presence that had enclosed Sofia. Her now blinking, sad, even if reassured by his words of comfort daunted by the very glimpse of her past self Balian did know about…Which was the very thing that frightened her.

“You will detest me”, she said quietly, with a hushed voice of the scared 14 year old girl she now felt herself to become like every time upon recalling that night of terror. Balian shaking his head slightly as stroke her temple with his free hand, kissing the corner of her brow.

“I won’t. Never I will.”

Sofia told Balian everything. With every further word leaving her lips the fear of being rejected by him increasing, the newly emerged fear to be suddenly shoved away from her beloved’s arms as nothing but a horrid, walking embodiment of sin she'd often regarded herself to be growing the more she continued to shed a light to her past. But after she'd finished, bordering close to distressed tears again upon laying numb in Balian’s arms, scared to look at him, while Balian who was staring at the canopy with pitying eyes himself then only frowned in utmost sadness and squeezed Sofia. Placing yet another tender kiss on her paled forehead, his hand once more starting to fiddle with her locks as if she indeed were still that frightened young girl of the past memory he'd just been recounted.

“I told you before”, he reminded. “You deserve nothing but kindness and respect, as there is nothing you have to be ashamed of, Sofia. Not with me.”

Immense flood of relief washed over Sofia, her then just nodding in consent, closing her eyes and breathed in Balian’s soothing scent. Grateful of his presence, of his love, and her very fortune to have met him…Not anymore being able to imagine a tomorrow without him.

She loved him. So much.

“Yes.”


	17. Adilah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> I'm so sorry for the long wait! The time has just flown by, and my editing process of this story got postponed due to other projects and well...life. But here it is, the next chapter for you! Hope you like it.

Guy walked along the corridors of the prison, on his way to see Reynald who so stupidly had allowed himself to be arrested and humiliated in front of the whole court by that leper of a king…Annoyance then rearing its vicious head in him due to the thought of his brother-in-law. His health had been considerably frailer for close to a year now, so why couldn’t the wretch just die and leave the crown in the care of the one to whom it belonged? Guy scowled in frustration. Matters surely weren’t going according to his long time machinations.

The crusader leading his way within the maze of cells now finally stopped, pointing to the one of the farthest at the end of the corridor with his hand. “My lord.”

Guy gave no attention to the jailer as only brushed past him, striding over to the cell of the imprisoned templar where the said man was sitting, with his bruised looks and dismal disposition looking utterly beaten and worthless. Guy undergoing even greater irritation due to the fact that he had no choice but to count on this failure, but what else could he have done? He was outside of king's favor now more than ever, which put his life at risk despite of him possessing the loyalty of the largest host of the whole kingdom. And should things go the way his brother-in-law intended not even the support of the templars would prevent his imminent removal from power, especially now when Balian had been involved. Not to mention that if he hoped to claim what was his rightfully, he needed to plan on his next supporting move quickly…For he wanted nothing more than to witness the birth of his own kingdom of heaven; war brought upon to all the enemies of Christianity and consequently, to his rule.

Guy approached the bars, pushing his hands through them to reveal the package he was carrying and unwrapped a small roasted chicken he'd smuggled to the dungeon. Reynald standing up immediately, with slow steps ambling towards him before snatched the meat from him greedily as if hadn't been fed for weeks instead of those few days he'd so far been kept captive. About to bite into the bird until thought the better of it and handed some of it back to his leading conspirator before placed a piece in his own mouth, the two exchanging gazes. Guy next casting his down, where Reynald had a realization after a short moment of ponder while eyeing at his visitor pensively. Already aware why he had come to see him.

“Do you really think the king wants you as head of the army once he’s gone, hmm?” he questioned, swallowing. “Think your wife does?”

Guy stared at him, to have also realized this after thinking over the re-distribution of power taking place within the palace behind his back, despite of the king’s efforts to conceal it from him. In agreement Guy tilting a concurring head at Reynald, spreading his hands. “I have a problem.”

“Ah, yes. Balian”, Reynald mused, now looking at Guy but remarkably. “I saw him at Kerak. Celebrated…You must beware a popular man.”

Guy locked gazes with him, irritation setting his eyes ablaze once more as he now considered the templar's warning. Not finding it difficult to believe in it as had already come to witness the changes that had taken place the moment the king had shown his grown trust to the obnoxious new baron. Reynald then leaning close to the bars so that no outer ears could pick up his following statement.

“Kill him”, he urged, Guy giving him a bit taken aback look until soon nodded in consent. Yes, before he had known it Balian had become the main spanner in the works of his abiding plans, and to make sure the man to play no further threat to his ambitions he should’ve done nothing less than that…That meddling baron having to be defused in one way or another.

“That Saracen woman who follows him everywhere…” Reynald continued then, Guy’s eyes now hardening and he angled his jaw at the curious shift in their exchange.

“What of her?” he asked grimly.

“Are you going to do something about her? He seems to have taken quite a fancy to her…” Reynald remarked, Guy narrowing his eyes at that.

“Balian?” he stated in disbelief. To have naturally assumed the man to be sleeping with his wife after the months she’d stayed as his houseguest and after seeing the way Sibylla had been looking at him back at Kerak, so such a claim confused him. “What is it that you mean, Reynald?”

“It is as clear as day! Anyone could’ve seen it at Kerak!” Reynald replied, now turning a bit annoyed. “Even you, if you hand’t been so occupied by lusting over the woman!”

Reynald gasped as Guy cast a warning glare at him, his already dour expression turning ever more morose and causing him to swallow. Guy raising his clenched jaw haughtily.

“Your point being, Reynald?” he inquired impatiently with a darker tone, squinting dangerously to warn the man not to go too far with his admonitions. “That woman is mine. I paid a fortune of her, so she belongs to me.”

Reynald appeared now interested. “Who is she?” he queried, Guy angling his jaw again as a malicious gleam now made an appearance in his hard eyes.

“Saladin’s daughter. A paid mistress I bought several months ago, and who was reported to have vanished during her journey here.”

This information givenly took Reynald aback in turn, until after a moment of thought he was rather entertained by these news, him actually leveling an amused look at Guy this time.

“Well it is obvious who's responsible of taking her”, he noted, despite of his scornful smile his mien soon assuming a somewhat grim expression then as he lcoked gazes with the man. “Although you’d better think more carefully which woman you’ll take to your bed…For that one is no good. She’s with him.”

“With who?” Guy demanded, although he was quite certain to have derived the answer to that quite obvious inquiry. Instantaneous anger taking over him as he waited for Reynald to speak.

“Balian. He cares for that woman…Maybe even loves her”, Reynald responded nonchalantly. Guy raising his jaw for the third time at the awe of such assertion, suspicious of it.

“How do you know this? Is it certain?”

“I already told you it to be obvious! The way he was looking at her at Kerak, the fact that he even brought her along there, and the looks he was giving you when you were craving over that Saracen!”

Guy said then nothing in response as mulled over this, instantly recalling the way Balian had behaved back at that alley in Jerusalem after he had injured that woman in the tumult of their duel…How she'd been the cause for Balian to spear his life. Balian to have listened to her, and what's more apparently protected her from him not out of mere desire to protect one’s property but for seemingly a reason far more sentimental…Guy now fathoming the templar's words to be possibly true, breath of ire escaping his lips at this peeving notion, until he next locked gazes with Reynald who seemed amused again upon laying witness to his vexation.

“Just thought you should know”, he remarked. “Maybe you can use this woman. Lure Balian into a trap. If you only can get to her that is…”

Guy fell into his private musings for another moment, soon coming up with a quite satisfying idea. Yes, he now knew exactly what he had to do...A jeering smile rising to his lips as the start of a plan he would impose upon his nemesis with in every way heartfelt pleasure begun to form in his mind, without a chance for Balian to foresee his scheme and do anything to avoid it. Upon suddenly discovering a way for satisfying retaliation from his up until then most baleful, recent misfortunes all caused by the very man, Guy deciding here and there to ensure him to understand that ridiculing him at such length had its consequences…Which Balian was soon to learn the hard way, purposefully.

* * *

Sofia was the first to awaken again, habitually, precisely around the first hours of the morning before the prayers started. Waking up rather refreshed, despite of her to have stayed up late into the night conversing with Balian, until they both had finally gone out a couple of hours later.

She let out a content sigh, stretching slightly under the thin sheets before turning on her right side, smiling as felt Balian’s hand to slip from her back to her waist again. But then she felt something else to be pressed against her chest, Sofia opening her eyes with a baffled frown only to find Kalilah to be sleeping between her and the man. Balian’s other arm working as a mattress for the girl where the other had indeed stretched out to enclose Sofia into their joined embrace.

Sofia blinked once for surprise, until soon enough broke into a sweet smile, trying to rise. Only to sigh in frustration this time as discovered both Balian and her daughter to be laying on her hair, Sofia barely being able to yank her locks free to sit up correctly. And now not even remotely as surprised she turned her gaze to notice Darcy to have also joined them in the bed during the night, laying at their feet, now raising his head upon feeling the young woman’s eyes on her. The dog appearing as if to grin at her as she instead shook her head at the two sneaked in individuals, but after landing a kiss on both Balian and her daughter’s brow she then got out of the bed, dressing herself. She had her prayers to do like every morning.

Darcy let out an abrupt bark, Sofia freezing in middle of lacing the side of her dress until she turned around to level a little hard gaze at the animal. Both Balian and Kalilah stirring in their sleep, Sofia hushing the dog.

“Let them sleep!” she scolded with a whisper, Darcy lowering his head. But he then looked back at her happily, laying himself back onto the bed to continue sleeping after Sofia had scratched him from behind his ears. Sofia smiling as watched the Spaniel to roll over, his paws pointed towards the canopy with a heavy sigh, until left the bedside. Opening the balcony doors carefully before slipped through them, stepping to the wan light of the dawning morning.

However not long after Balian woke up to someone rolling onto him. Smile forming on his lips as he wrapped his arms around Sofia. Agling his head against hers, only to then quickly notice that the figure he was holding was way too small to be the woman he'd fallen asleep with, and that the hair he was caressing was curly, not straight. At the wonder of this like Sofia before him also Balian now opening his eyes in confusion to see Kalilah lay on top of him, deep in sleep. Her arms spread into similar type of embrace around his chest, Balian blinking taken aback before raising his head to spot Darcy at his feet. The animal greeting him with a look that seemed to say good morning, Balian blinking again for even greater wonder, which was swift to pass however as he rose a little more. To gaze at the empty space on his left which told him Sofia not to be in bed any longer, against his beliefs. Him next looking out of the window, the shy reddish coloring of the sky informing him it to be already early morning, which then gave him the aswer to her most recent disappearance. Had she gone to pray?

Carefully Balian raised Kalilah from his chest before placed her on the same spot her mother had slept in, smiling as the child didn’t as much as stir at the change in tressles, before then stood himself to get dressed. His smile nevertheless not dying, for he didn’t remember the last time he'd felt so at ease. So pleased with his life, a new, even broader smile lifting the corners of his lips higher as thoughts of Sofia inescapably occupied his mind once his gaze settled onto her muslin. After giving the garment a passing, gentle glance him now turning to take his shirt from the floor to where it had been carelessly tossed, until he picked up the muslin upon giving it a slight frown. At first thinking Sofia to have left it behind as directed his steps towards the doorway as his intention to go return it, but suddenly her voice coming from the terrace reached his ears. Informing him her to have not left after all either now, but that she was in fact praying.

Balian went to the balcony, opening the doors left slightly ajar and indeed found Sofia there like once more during the night. This time only knelt to the floor, repeating a prayer the way he always could hear the other Muslim families pray during mornings whenever he was awake early enough to listen to them. But unlike them she uttered the chant alone and more quietly, possibly not to wake him, Balian watching her until she soon made a bow. Next just sitting there still her eyes closed, him leaning onto the doorframe to wait for her to finish, and after five more minutes she did then stop. Releasing a sigh.

Sofia opened her eyes, but flinched as her train of thought was cut by her unbound hair that suddenly rose in the air, her glancing behind herself to see Balian who smiled at her from above. And without a word he then began to braid her locks after running his fingers through them a few times, who knew why, Sofia simply letting out an amused breath at his actions until next resumed her watch of the sky. Sharing his silence.

“What did you say?” Balian soon did inquire, Sofia tilting her head as cast him a passing glance.

“Not anything different from Christian prayers”, she told him, Balian’s smile turning pensive.

_“Praise be to God. It is proper to praise him.”_

Sofia shared his smile, hers a bit more amused as she nodded. “Something like that.”

Balian now stopped braiding Sofia’s hair, raising her up to face him. Looking into her eyes, now seeing the bluish color in them better than ever due to the early morning light, as his hand rose to draw her head closer to him. Traveling soon lower to cup her jaw loosely until his thumb moved over to her lips, outlining the edges of her tattoo with a few strokes.

“I’m glad I saved you”, he said, their foreheads eventually touching as Sofia leant against him. Her eyes smiling at him tenderly as did her lips, where her fingers rose to touch his jaw in turn. Causing her to suddenly remember something just as she was about to pull Balian into a kiss, her smile turning now nothing but amused as she pulled back, eyeing at his facial hair.

“We must fix that. You can't go downstairs looking like that”, she informed him. Letting out a laugh due to Balian’s expression as he quirked his brows at her, however allowing Sofia to walk him back into the house before she seated him on the trunk once more. Darcy observing them in wonder as Sofia took the scissors in her hand like she’d done last evening, where Balian finally shrugged his shirt on. Sofia motioning him to stay still impatiently before unlike yesterday sat directly on his lap, taking hold of his jaw with gentle fingers, starting to cut. Balian now finding no reason not to stare at her while at work, truthfully compelled to keep his eyes on her.

“I think this is the real you”, he soon remarked after taking in Sofia’s much more laid-back and joyous demeanor. “Sofia who dares to love and is loved in return.”

“Can you blame me?” she answered in a teasing manner, although cast a bit more earnest look at Balian. “I have never loved a man before. Nor has any man loved me like you do.”

Balian leant forward. Now driven by her reply, Sofia sighing in slight frustration when he kissed her once more. His endearments although a cherished, welcome change not helping much, but instead hindered her concentration needed while handling a razor. But as he finally broke apart from her she simply gazed at Balian for a while, not being able to help herself from getting consumed by delight a single look of his brought to her.

“Do you want me to prepare a bath for you?” she asked then, as if nothing out of ordinary had occurred between them. And well, not much had in fact changed in addition to their feelings for one another they'd finally acknowledged after quite a while of renounced mutual attraction. Balian now turning mischievous as gauged at Sofia, turning her head so that their eyes met.

“Only if you have it with me”, he answered, Sofia returning his gaze with a slightly reprimanding look.

“The moment you get a woman in bed with you, you turn into an utter flirt, my lord?” she questioned, Balian gasping due to the return of the honorific. Sofia smiling in satisfaction at that, achieving her goal, as then shook her head in disbelief. “You are worse than Almaric.”

“Except if he continues I'll have to deal with him”, Balian stated, sarcastically, his smile turning jovial once Sofia raised her eyebrows at him like she often did at Kalilah…Although her smile was equally cordial as well.

“That is not amusing, Balian. Almaric would never touch me.”

Balian did not answer but just smiled, now once more examining Sofia who either next said nothing until was finished, finally rising to her own feet to fetch the shaving cream. Balian allowing her to continue by smoothing out his mustache and sideburns, finally Sofia nodding and smiling at the outcome contentedly after wiping away the remnants of the cream from his cheeks. Balian fumbling his jaw to feel the work of her hands and found to be satisfied himself, but before he could thank her with a new kiss Sofia stood up for the second time, escaping from his grasp, gazing over to the sleeping girl.

“Shall I take her to my room again?” she asked.

“No need. She’ll be in no one’s way here”, Balian said, joining Sofia in eyeing at asleep Kalilah until she nodded. Facing him before went over to his closet to fetch some fresh articles of clothing.

“All right. Then you should bathe in my room.”

* * *

Balian did bathe in Sofia’s room after she’d prepared one like every morning, but no matter what he said or did to coax her to join him, he only earned resolute looks in return that signaled him to have had enough of her last night…Which only made him laugh, for now that they’d grown considerably closer to one another he often found himself to be scolded in similar manner like Kalilah…As an another sign of the woman not further keeping herself at constant check of not behaving more affectionate towards him than had been proper…until now. When she clearly did, down to a mere look she would give him.

However, despite of her patient demur of his advances Sofia had stayed. Now washing Balian’s back, something she as well should’ve been doing before in all manner of rules of servitude…For this reason Balian keeping on casting amused looks at the young woman over his shoulder until leant forward to ease her work, her soon finishing. Sofia standing up and taking hold of the bucket full of fresh water, while Balian then tilted his head at her.

“Are you not feeling even the slightest bit sweaty? It’s very hot outside”, he joked, Sofia squinting at him until poured the bucket of water over him, to quell his allusive banter and to wash away the soap. Balian shaking his head due to the water flooding to his eyes, chuckling as heard Sofia to sigh before she put down the bucket.

“Not you around I will”, she replied nonchalantly. Now about to walk to the closet to grab a towel for Balian with a remarkable raise of her eyebrows that still signaled her to be at least partly entertained by his tease. “I trust you are done?”

Balian smirked and rose up, then taking Sofia aback by grabbing her hand and pulled her back, causing her to fall into into the tub with a magnificent splash. What else but drenching her dress, and once settled firmly in his lap Sofia gave a bewildered look at the man where he just grinned back at her surprise. Leaning close to her, bending his head to graze her lips with his.

“Not quite”, he murmured, Sofia detecting a distinguishable hint in his irises that then looked directly into hers, as enticing as ever. Her eyeing at him a bit shocked for a while, until closed her eyes with jaded expression. Starting to remove her wet dress, until for Balian’s triumph she turned so that her back pressed against his chest, throwing the soaked dress on the floor with a sigh of surrender until she spoke. Barely irritated however once she was instantly reminded of the amenity of Balian’s body complying with hers.

**“Happy now?”**

Balian smiled, kissing her neck. “Very.”

“It is not true what you say about me. It is _you_ , who is intolerable to handle.”

Balian said nothing. Just continued smiling as let his own eyes close in turn, leaning against Sofia’s head to feel her now familiar scent, starting to smooth her stomach absentmindedly. Producing a content sigh from the woman who now fully relaxed against him, soon raising a hand to cease the motion of his knuckles by capturing them. As Balian had uncreasingly badgered her Sofia then staying in the tub with him as long as the water inevitably turned cold, after that hour or so her finally leveling a notably disgruntled look at her still wet dress.

“And what am I going to wear now?” she asked, from Balian as turned to give him a quizzical glance. Balian seeming to realize this too, thinking, until remembered, replying with an apologetic kiss to her forehead.

“We’re in your room. I’ll get you a new one.”

Sofia watched as he got out of the tub, leaning against the edge of it to follow as Balian dried himself, before dressed again into clean clothes... Until as if to prove she never left his thoughts even for a second his hand sweeping across Sofia’s cheek once he made his way to her wardrobe. Her smiling after him as he opened it and drew out a white dress, Sofia then exiting as well and Balian was quick to hand her a dry towel, her stepping out of the cooled water to the floor. Soon enough giving him a furtive look after noticing his rather attentive eyes to remain fixated on her while she was dabbing the water out of her hair.

“How long are you going to stare, _my lord_?” she inquired, annoying Balian again on purpose. Breaking into a smile once she saw him frown.

“To the end of my existence I hope”, he answered after a while, quite thoughtfully, somewhat longingly even. Sofia stopping working through the tangles in her locks as examined him a few seconds until smiled again at the sight of his tender eyes still taking her in, smoothing his cheek in turn.

“If it depends on me…I promised to never leave you until I die”, she told him, Balian mirroring her smile.

“Thank Allah for that.”

Sofia let out a laugh. Or a snort, depending on how one would decipher it, but just as she closed the distance between them for them to share yet another adoring kiss, suddenly bells ringing somewhere far claimed their attention. The chime as quiet and distant as it was still breaking the peaceful silence of the early morning and they turned their sights to the window, gazing out of it. After a brief moment of listening to the foreboding toll of the remote church bells Sofia having a premonition, turning sad once she then came to realize the dismal meaning of those plaintive knells.

“The king is dead.”

Balian looked at her in slight surprise as she met his gaze, hers full of woe which he soon enough shared, where his solemnness took the form of an earnest frown. Him pulling her closer to him for comfort, gazing out of the window again, recallling the young but still incredibly wise ruler, whom he'd anticipated to leave this world shortly after the day he'd met him for the last time…And now, last night it had come to pass. The leper king was no more, making Sibylla’s son the new king of Jerusalem.

* * *

Balian walked down the stairs, Sofia not far behind. Placing a scarf around her hair, her gaze cast down, so she didn't know to beware when Balian suddenly turned on his heels after reaching the last step. To sweep her off her feet, making a spin with her until let Sofia back down as suddenly at the sound of her startled yelp, just as a certain individual walked inside the mansion and witnessed laughing Sofia to be put back on the floor again after she’d swatted the young knight’s arm as an initiative to be let go, her then staring at Balian gently who was about to kiss her…Until a loud cough interrupted them, begging for their attention.

They turned, Sofia's arms sliding down from Balian's shoulders. Her leaning away a little from him as they were now looking at the hospitaler, who had a rather amused look on his face due to both of their expressions. Balian clearing his own throat, greeting the arrived man with a stiff nod, while looking givenly embarrassed to have been surprised like that. Sofia only gazing away, smiling coyly, as the hospitaler next approached them. Not seeming all that surprised himself however as his all-knowing gaze studied the pair of them.

“You took your time”, he remarked, now eyeing at the young man and woman in front of him in turns, clearly appearing to have been expecting this outcome. Hence the man then only nodding in approval, pleased. “Very good. Now your little family is finally complete…Although it took Kalilah less time to see that you were meant for one another…”

There had been a distinct hint in that previous phrase and Balian smiled a bit awkwardly in response…But as the hospitaler now gauged at him he could see true happiness to have replaced the perpetual sadness, the galling memento of his late wife, that had ever been present in depth of his eyes. All of that faithful sorrow dedicated to his lingering attachment to his passed family now gone and Balian only seemed satisfied. His arm now circling around Sofia without any uncertainty of the action, and neither did she seem anything but welcome to his finally realised affection, even the hospitaler did note her to gasp slightly due to Balian’s such gesture she wasn’t after all accustomed out in the open like this until she fully relaxed. Leaning into his embrace without a trace of discomfort either, which told much to the arrived older man, him quirking his brows at the clear intimacy of Balian’s mere hold of the woman…Which also advocated much to that which remained withhold from him, what had happened between them during his absence, for this reason the hospitaler smiling knowingly. Gazing at the two.

“Should I be congratulating you or is there really a need for it after such an evident outcome such as this?” he queried, Sofia shaking her head as she finally separated from Balian.

“Do you wish to have something to drink?” she asked, resuming her role of a servant. Balian frowning a little at this where the hospitaler only leveled an amused glance at him, nodding in concur.

“Yes, if you would bring me some water I’d be grateful”, he complied, Sofia nodding in turn with a smile, bowing her head at him more out of habit than need before walked past Balian. Returning his gaze momentarily until vanished on her way to the kitchen, what else but similar type of smile taking possession of Balian's lips that had covered Sofia's but a moment ago when their eyes had met.

“One rarely sees you smile”, the hospitaler noted, seeming pensive on purpose. “But yet now only a single look from Sofia makes you smile like a bride on her wedding day.”

Balian turned to cast an odd look at his guest, which caused the older man to laugh.

“Where is little Kalilah?” the hospitaler then inquired, glancing around at the clear nonappearance of the bubbly child. Balian forgetting about his previous awkwardness and broke into a new, bright smile, beckoning to upstairs.

“She’s still asleep.”

“Good!” the hospitaler breathed. Jovially however, returning Balian’s smile and gave him a slightly widen-eyed look to showcase his supposed relief as then directed his steps towards the terrace. “Don’t tell her mother, but that girl is a true blabbermouth.”

Balian cast him an amused look. “Only to some.”

* * *

In the following afternoon Sofia and Zuleika had departed to go visit a nearby oasis, as the day had turned very torrid indeed. Almost stifling to bear, so the women had decided to take the children of the estate to swim in the shallow waters of the spring to cool off.

Sofia was swinging Kalilah back and forth while walking, until she let go of her hand and started to run after the other children, Darcy following closely on her tail with a few excited barks. Sofia and Zuleika smiling after them, watching the small group of kids to hurry avidly towards the oasis that had come into view shortly before. But soon the older woman's attention was solely drawn to Sofia who'd done nothing but smiled the whole day almost nonstop, her eyes shining due to every glance directed at their lord throughout the morning. Causing Zuleika to make her own conclusions after witnessing their lord’s equally warm gazes leveled at Sofia, and the woman couldn’t help but be concerned of the obviously grown attachment between them…Especially when she didn’t know the cause for it.

 **“You are positively glowing Sofia** ”, Zuleika remarked, Sofia turning her quizzical eyes at her. To see the worry in Zuleika’s black irises that locked with hers in wonder…Suspicion. **“It would make me suspect you to be with child, which of course would be quite impossible, now wouldn’t it? What has happened?”**

Sofia offered Zuleika a playful smile but said nothing in response. Just gazed at the plains spreading around them somewhat blissfully, Zuleika frowning at her ecstatic expression…Which concerned her even further.

 **“Sofia, have you done something with our lord?** ” she now outright demanded, more sternly. Earning another remarkable glance back from the younger woman before Sofia’s already joyous smile turned only tender.

 **“What do you fear, Zuleika?”** Sofia asked. **“What is it you are afraid of me to have done?”**

Zuleika eyed at her for a moment in great doubt **. “I am talking about all the looks you two have been given to each other all morning! What has happened?”**

 **“Something…wonderful”** , Sofia finally answered after a meaningful sigh. Zuleika’s eyes widening then as she was able to make her current deductions from Sofia’s jubilant and altogether in some way changed features, when she was clearly recalling something…Something pleasant that caused that gentle smile to spread on her lips constantly, and thus now believing to know what was that delightful memory that caused the young woman to look the happiest she'd ever been during her time in Ibelin, Zuleika was bewildered. Coming to a dismayed halt as stared at beaming Sofia but earnestly, outraged.

 **“Are you telling me you to have spent a night with our lord?”** Zuleika asked, getting the confirmation from Sofia’s eyes as they locked with hers. Zuleika shaking her head aghast, gawking at the young woman stupefied.

 **“Sofia, think of what you're doing! He is our lord. I told you not to let any feelings to develop between you, because it is not meant for servants and their lords to act on such fancies, yet alone to be together! It will only end badly for both of you”** , she continued. But Sofia didn’t take her warnings in earnest either now, for a reason much adored by her but utterly questioned by the older woman.

 **“No, Zuleika. I know this won’t. He loves me. Balian loves me** ”, Sofia responded, even happier as looked at the older woman. Zuleika blinking in awe at her reply, in disbelief.

 **“Balian? Now you are calling him…Oh, Sofia”** , Zuleika breathed, but then went silent upon seeing Sofia’s evident happiness, acknowledging her to have never looked this lighthearted, genuinely happy even while with her daughter. And this thought did then pull Zuleika's heartstrings once she realized the young woman’s feelings to be staunch and true, no matter how much sense she would try to talk into her, therefore Zuleika then only letting out a deep, resigned sigh, smiling. Well, if the girl was content, who was she to tell Sofia to turn her back to her love? Would it end either in tears or as Sofia believed, in mutual bliss…

 **“Very well, I allow it”** , Zuleika consented. Meeting Sofia’s eyes, until then turned away from the overjoyed girl in amusement, taking off. **“But lord or not, if he does not make you happy, I swear he’s going to learn what a woman’s honor is worth!”**

They laughed together at Zuleika's remark after Sofia had smiled at the woman warmly, joining her, until they then continued walking their arms hooked all the way to the water spring which was now only a short distance away. The children much ahead of them, running straight into the water, throwing their clothes away midway as rushed in, Kalilah among them. Sofia gasping in alarm, as shallow or not, Kalilah didn't know how to swim yet and could drown in the fountain.

 **“Ismael! Keep an eye on Kalilah!”** Zuleika shouted to her youngest son, earning a bit reluctant look back, as the child would’ve preferred to florick around with the older boys instead of babysitting a toddler. But Ismael complied, now grabbing Kalilah and raising her into his arms, taking her into the water with him. Sofia smiling at the sight of her daughter taking a dip for the first time in her life, as then Almaric, who'd taken a break from the work at the estate to accompany them, came to stand next to the observing women. Eyeing at Sofia in slight amusement of his own.

“Is our Amira going to swim?” he bantered, Sofia narrowing her eyes at him until smiled.

“Probably not”, she answered with a shake of a head. Almaric nodding officially, in concur.

“The best I’m sure. After all lord Balian is not here to save you should you take it upon yourself to drown”, he teased her further, but now both of the women turned to look at him slightly dumbfounded, Sofia blinking at the man in astonishment.

“You…?” she began, but Almaric winked at her, silencing her.

“I know. Everyone knows. Our lord’s longing gazes could not be missed by anyone who has eyes”, he specified. Zuleika snorting lightly, amused, but in given agreement as Sofia was still only taken aback.

“That’s what I was saying…” Zuleika stated, Almaric grinning. Sofia sighing in the end, resigned to the fact that in Ibelin even the most undisclosed secrets traveled into the ears of others quicker than a whisper.

“So you love our lord, Amira?” Almaric inquired after a short moment of ponder. Gauging at the young woman, as one of the more insightful individuals who'd been perceptive enough to notice her to have had feelings for his lord from the very beginning. Sofia sighing yet again, deeper, but soon only smiled widely. Looking up to the man.

“Yes. I do”, Sofia confessed. The easiness of admitting it not confusing her any longer, and being able to see it from her Almaric nodded. His lips spreading into yet another jovial smirk.

“I’m glad you do. He sure needs a sensible woman like you by his side to contain him.”

Sofia shook her head again in disbelief of her own, until then only smacked the crusader's arm gently. "On the contrary, it is you who's in need of such a woman to keep you and your intrusive remarks at bay."

About two hours the adults followed the children to play in the water, never tiring to splash it about on one another. Sofia eyeing at them from her spot beside the oasis, where she'd seated herself to watch over Kalilah, although she didn’t have to worry. Ismael and the other kids making sure she didn't come to any harm and included her into their games, Sofia smiling widely and laughing out loud herself as Kalilah’s overjoyed giggle rang in the air.

 **“Momma! Momma look at me!”** she shouted, waving her hand as Ismael was swinging her around in the shallow waves. Sofia smiling, waving back at her, but upon seeing her daughter to be in good care she then wiped her brow and stood, walking back to Zuleika and Almaric who were watching from the distance. Sitting in the shade of the few palm trees that grew there.

But the moment Sofia arrived Almaric made a determined nod, removing his belt and weapons, the two women watching in confusion as he then jerked off his cover shirt. The man grinning at their wonder, tilting his head at baffled Sofia.

“If Amira is not going to swim…” he stated, starting to run towards the spring and the children. “…someone has to make a fool of themselves here!”

Sofia and Zuleika followed the man with their eyes until Zuleika only sighed, swatting a palled arm after him.

 **“You’ll never find a wife if you behave like this!”** she shouted, Sofia laughing.

“Almaric please, the pool is too shallow!” she exclaimed, to deter the man. But Almaric simply winked at them, ignoring them as then began to badger the children. Pretending to jump in with them, making the kids to shout out for fright but then laugh right after. Kalilah now getting out of the pool with the help of Ismael and started to run, coming to Sofia, who welcomed her with a quizzical look. Smoothing back Kalilah’s wet curls.

 **“You don’t want to swim anymore?”** she asked, Kalilah shaking her head and gave Sofia a dazzling smile in return.

 **“No! Kalilah wants to stay with momma!”** she answered, Sofia’s own smile widening and she bent over, taking a towel and started to dry the girl off.

 **“If you smile like that Sofia, it's no wonder for our lord to have fallen for you”** , Zuleika pointed out, beckoning to Kalilah as Sofia looked up to the woman. **“It was her who first twisted him around her little finger before you…Well, like daughter like mother I say.”**

 **“Zuleika!”** Sofia said a bit shocked, but still shook her head in amusement as she might've had a point, her however then simply focusing on Kalilah again. The little girl now examining her mother for a long moment before reached out, touching her face.

 **“Is Kalilah gonna be as pretty as momma when I grow up?”** Kalilah asked then, taking Sofia aback, but she simply sighed. Breaking into that special smile that was reserved only for her daughter.

 **“No. Kalilah’s going to be many times more beautiful than mother”,** she answered, causing a wide smile to spread on Kalilah's lips as well. But sudden neighs emanating from somewhere close then woke Sofia’s attention and as she raised her gaze, to see Zuleika who was staring behind her with widened eyes, Sofia frowned in bafflement due to woman’s out of the blue so fidgety expression.

 **“Zuleika?”** she called, the woman twitching now. Sofia then as well turning to gaze to the direction she was peering, to witness herself how three strange men approached them on horseback, coming down a small hill but a stone’s throw away from the oasis. None of them wearing any uniforms or armor to speak of their identities, to give any indication of whether they were to be wary of or not. Sofia tensing up as well but stayed calm, following them to slow down to a sluggish trot once they drew nearer, soon enough reaching the women. Having quite indifferent, blank expressions on their faces which neither revealed their intentions when they now locked gazes with Sofia and Zuleika, Kalilah pressing against Sofia, ogling at the mounted men anxiously.

 **“Momma?”** she called, Sofia silencing her with a touch of a hand. The men now curbing their horses into a stop right in front of them, their eyes taking a moment to gauge at the pair of women until all of their gazes fixated onto Sofia alone, and she angled her head. Her gaze not wavering once she returned their stares.

“Are you Sofia?” one of them asked. Bringing his horse closer and turned it around, his eyes never shifting away from Sofia nor the small girl at her feet. Zuleika jolting in alarm at the sound of his question as she next glanced at Sofia in worry, but although she now knew these men not to be what they seemed the young woman didn’t let her suspicions show.

“Who wants to know?” she inquired, the man’s stoic features getting enlivened by amusement as he then smiled. Rubbing his jaw.

“No matter. We know perfectly well who you are as were told to come to meet you here”, the man, a crusader no doubt, said and leant lower in his saddle. Sofia feeling a sting of slight terror to run through her but smothered it, saying nothing.

“You see, our lord has ordered us to bring you back”, the man then continued. “And we weren't to return without you. So, would you grant us the honor of coming with us peacefully…your royal highness, princess Adilah?”

Both Sofia and Zuleika were petrified to their spots, Zuleika looking at Sofia in pure horror as Sofia only stared into the man’s eyes. Instantly knowing of whom he had talked about, as indeed, she saw it. Even there had been clear mock in the man’s voice once it had addressed her, his eyes of that time and now reflected but the truth…Aware of this Sofia then gently unfastening Kalilah’s grip of her dress and moved her over to Zuleika, watching the two other riders to draw near…To keep her in place, her eyes lastly dropping to take in the weapons strapped to their belts, to see the templar emblems adorning their hilts.

 **“Momma?”** Kalilah called. Now a little more scared and confused to be shoved away from her mother, as glanced between Sofia and the men towering over them.

 **“Sofia?”** Zuleika also called out, hint of fear in her voice, which was then reflected in Sofia’s curt reply which the young woman was unable to stifle, even her voice was but serious as it spoke. The man now leaning even lower, his smile jeering as he took note of the fright in the young woman’s eyes once they studied him and his comrades…fully aware of their indentity.

**“Take Kalilah and go.”**

**“Sofia?”**

“Where is your knight now, Saracen?” the crusader queried, Sofia gazing back at him proudly, masking her scare, as it was now Almaric who spotted the arrived men, recognizing them. Terrifying realization instantly taking hold of him as he rushed out of the water, grasping to his sword. Unsheathing it.

“Amira!” he called out a warning, but at the same moment the man jumped down from his steed and grabbed Sofia. Her proceeding to struggle against his hold furiously, demanding him to release her. Zuleika backing away in alarm, being able to only follow as Kalilah began to cry in her protective arms keeping her at bay, like her mother fighting against the hands that strove to keep her captive.

“No! No!” Sofia screamed, trying to free herself by elbowing the man, failing. The crusader simply tightening his grip of her as continued to pull her after himself, where Kalilah began to shriek after her mother. Sofia hearing her daughter’s cries and desperately tried to get free, but the man's arms were too strong for her to win over, and despite of her wriggling he managed to drag her towards his horse. Sofia casting a horrified look at Zuleika in middle of her hopeless squirming.

“Almaric!” Zuleika called out in panic, whipping around just as the man finally arrived to the scene. Charging forth, attacking the man holding Sofia without a hesitation, but it was then when the two other Templars dismounted their horses. Flanking Almaric, forcing him to protect himself from two enemy blades, as shaken Zuleika instead compelled Kalilah to go with her. Ignoring her protests and furious struggle as ran over to the other children, who'd become equally horrified by the change of events. Zuleika handing Kalilah to Ismael, ushering the children back until the intense clashing of swords ended in Sofia’s bloodcurdling scream. Darcy starting to bark vehemently, cornering the attackers, while growling from behind his revealed teeth.

“Almaric no!” Sofia shrieked in panic herself, seeing the man to be at first kicked on his back, before he got sliced by the sword of his adversary. The other one not wasting time to strike against distracted Almaric again, resulting in him inevitably next falling to the ground defeated once the second blade first deprived him of his own, until cut his arm. Almaric collapsing, grasping to his wounds.

“No! Let go of me!” Sofia screamed, writhing and kicking. Doing everything she could to be released and hasten to the injured man’s aid. To get away, but starting to turn angry the crusader then backhanded her, Sofia falling momentarily on the ground herself, her scarf slipping from her head in the tumult of her tumble. But she had time only to raise her gaze to meet briefly with her daughter’s teary eyes as the man now roughly took hold of her again, forcing her upright. And regardless of Sofia’s increased struggle he managed to get her to his horse and hoisted her on the animal, Almaric staggering to his knees, taking support from his sword in his attempt to stop the kidnappers. But then a ferocious growl cut the air as Darcy lunged, jumping forth and biting the man holding Sofia just as he was about to mount the horse.

The man swore after letting out a cry of pain once the dog’s teeth dug into his leg, but a pained whimper soon ensued once he kicked Darcy, causing the Spaniel to let go of his shin and fly backwards. Kalilah screaming the dog’s name in equal fear, where Almaric forced himself to his feet after witnessing the dog's attack, raising his weapon to charge at the nearest crusader. But after all he was too late, as Sofia's captor now finally mounted after getting rid of the hampering canine, all of the horsemen next driving their steeds into a fast gallop, fleeing up the hill…Sofia with them.

 **“MOMMA!”** Kalilah’s shouted, Sofia hearing it and her so helpless and scared tone brought her on the verge of tears, and her first instinct was to fight back until the feel of cold steel settling against her back brought her resistence to naught. Once made aware of the sword keeping her from acting out, she then forced herself to settle down…Knowing very well who had sent these templars to kidnap her, so in spite of all that was to come she reminded herself that she had to remain calm…And most importantly, she had to find out the reason why she'd been taken.

After slumping down for the second time Almaric forced himself on his feet once more, glaring after the fleeing riders. Cursing as tossed his sword onto the ground, appalled by how useless it had been just rendered in his failed attempt to rescue Sofia.

“Those bastards! They took Amira!”

He turned to Zuleika, spitting some blood on the sand, teetering a little even he tried to stand upright despite of his injuries. Zuleika rushing over to the man in equal worry, the children following right after her, where Kalilah was only hysteric. Still frightened beyond description by what had just happened.

 **“Momma! They took momma! I want my momma!”** she screamed, Ismael trying to hush her for nothing as she now tried to be released from his grip. Almaric exchanging a pitying look with Zuleika until she sighed, taking Kalilah into her arms and cradled her, Kalilah grabbing her, sobbing uncontrollably. Darcy limping next to Almaric, casting him a despodent look.

“We have to go back…We have to tell lord Balian!” Almaric breathed urgently, about to walk but ended up only wavering more, Zuleika then sighing again and placing Kalilah on the bend of her left arm as hurried to support the wounded man with the other.

“If you survive there”, Zuleika stated, them then starting their hurried, but still far too slow journey back to Ibelin. Zuleika urging the children to follow with a few curt words spoken in Arabic, until then everyone were tracing their steps back to the estate.

* * *

“Where's Sofia?” the hospitaler inquired as he and Balian were making their way to the main entrance. “I woud wish not to leave before I say my goodbyes to her and Kalilah.”

“Azusa told me Sofia and Zuleika took the children to a nearby oasis to swim”, Balian explained the young woman's rather prolonged absence, sharing a smile with the older man.

“And she's not back yet?”

“I will ask.”

Balian gazed around the front hall, not seeing any of the servants in sight as the hospitaler was the first to go outside, Balian soon following and instantly calling out Latif a couple of times. The said man soon enough emerging from the stables, bowing at his master and his guest before looked to Balian questionably.

 **“Have Sofia and Zuleika returned yet?”** Balian queried, Latif shaking his head.

 **“I do not know, my lord”** , he answered, bowing again. Balian nodded, Latif then going back to his previous task due to the dismissive nod of his head.

“So she isn’t here?” the hospitaler specified, Balian shaking his head.

“Probably not.”

“Well, no matter how regrettable, once more the time has come for me to take my leave”, the hospitaler continued with a smile, now turning to Balian who smiled in return, nodding. “Until we meet again, Balian.”

The men shook each other’s hands. But at the same moment the absent group of the estate’s children ran to the yard through the gates, all of them gesturing to Balian and shouting in unison so that he couldn’t make out a thing what they were saying.

“My lord Balian!” Zuleika’s distinguishable voice however then called out over the deafening clamor, Balian descending the stairs to the courtyard himself. Together with the hospitaler him now following the woman to walk through the gates herself, carrying Kalilah, while her other arm was supporting profusely swearing Almaric. Balian gasping once he then spotted splatters of blood on him, but what he didn't see was Sofia, lastly only Darcy arriving to the yard. Limping his left front paw, fear taking a quick hold of Balian as he left he hospitaler’s side in order to go receive his right-hand man, to demand an explanation from him.

“What happened?” Balian accosted, confused, glancing at Almaric and Zuleika in turns until frowned once he took in the injuries adorning the man. “Where's Sofia?”

On both Almaric’s and Zuleika’s mien had been a flicker of worry at the sound of his question, both of them trying to catch their breath. Panting for exhaustion, Zuleika now meeting Balian’s demanding gaze and being the first to speak.

“My lord…” she began, cutting herself off suddenly as wrinkled her brows anxiously, but she was prevented from elaborating by Kalilah who was abruptly awoken from her miserable daze by Balian’s voice. Her starting to cry again, and Balian cast his eyes down to the weeping girl quizzically once Zuleika now put her down, taking Almaric into her whole support. Balian crouching in front of Kalilah, who was once again sobbing hysterically, confusing the man even further.

“Balian, they took momma!” she cried out, causing Balian to stiffen for shock, him staring at the bawling child incredulously. “Bad men took momma with them!”

Balian’s eyes widened, but then he noticed the item Kalilah was clasping between her fingers. Him gently claiming it into his own hand, only to realize it was Sofia’s scarf. Balian’s heart lurching for instant worry as he gave the fabric an alarmed frown, it ending up crumpled into his own palm once he then looked up to Kalilah again, his tone grim.

“Who?” Balian demanded, in ever rising panic of his own. “Who took your mother, Kalilah?”

“There were three men. Templars”, Zuleika responded in place of the child, Balian’s eyes darting up to her. “They suddenly appeared and took Sofia with them, my lord.”

“It was Guy”, Almaric cut in, Balian giving him now even more horrified, but at the same time stern look. Standing up slowly, Balian feeling Kalilah to grab him as Almaric sighed, staggering as tried to better his posture.

“I recognized them”, he explained, swaying. “They were his knights. Guy’s closest men…I am sorry, my lord. I tried to save her in time, but was defeated. Forgive me.”

Balian’s gaze dropped as he thought feverishly, Almaric next tottering positively dangerously, on the verge of fainting, Zuleika taking a more secure hold of him.

“We must get you to bed, big man”, she stated, but before she could turn words into action Balian’s head snapped back up, his eyes gauging at them filled with ire.

“When did this happen?” he asked.

“Not long ago. We ran straight here after they wounded Almaric and kidnapped Sofia. About an hour ago I think”, Zuleika answered, still trying to catch her breath. “They headed towards Jerusalem.”

Balian said then nothing but surprised the others by rushing to the stables straight away, with a grim expression that spoke of blind fury shouting out a command for Latif to bring his horse. But Almaric knew what he was about to do, and despite of his overpowering fatigue forced himself to stand straight and firm, bypassing Zuleika’s objections and as swiftly as could due to his wounds went after his lord. Indeed walking in on Balian saddling his horse in haste.

“My lord, you cannot go after them!” Almaric contested, stopping in front of the stall, very grave look on his own countenance as he tried to have Balian listen to reason. “Think of what could happen if you get yourself in trouble by threatening Guy!”

“I don’t care!” Balian exclaimed angrily, mounting the horse after as hurriedly yanking the saddle belt tight. But Almaric grabbed the reins, staring at his lord.

“Then what are you going to do? Fight them?”

“Let me go, Almaric. I cannot let those men deliver Sofia to him!” Balian answered death seriously, rage seething in his veins, trying to lead the animal out of the stall, past the man. But stubbornly Almaric blocked his path, even it was obvious him to be in too great of a pain to even stand.

“I care for Amira as well, and am ashamed that I allowed her to be taken right under my nose!” he reminded, causing Balian to freeze due to his severe reply, which right then had also hold a hint of regret. “But what will you achieve by getting yourself arrested, killed? And should you reach those men in time, how do you know they won’t kill you both just because you tried to interfere? Kill her?”

Balian did then realize this, but still hesitated. The sudden turmoil of worry and fear surging within him, feeding off of one another, before turning into an almost compulsive urge to catch Guy's henchmen, therefore now causing his fingers to squeeze around the reins in frustration. Guy had kidnapped Sofia. Taken her, and Balian hadn’t been there…Even he had sworn to protect her at all costs just last night, the one moment he'd neglected that promise and hadn't been with Sofia, she…Balian frowned in anger.

“My lord!” Almaric shouted as Balian proved not to listen to his reasoning after all. His hatred and quilt over his inability to keep his word too strong of an incentive for him not to act, as stubbornly Balian then spurred the horse past Almaric and out of the stables. Riding to the yard, Almaric hurrying after him as quickly as managed with his injuries. “My lord Balian, do not leave!”

Balian ignored the man. So angry and focused he was at the moment that the sole thing that could fit into his head was the desire to find the men who took Sofia…Because he _had_ to get her back, now, as who knew what Guy would do to her otherwise. Even a thought of what Sofia would be forced to endure in his hands both sickening and horrifying Balian, so much so that in his haste to catch up with the kidnappers he had utterly forgotten himself to be weaponless, until then Kalilah’s continuous crying reached into his ears once more. His burning rage instantly mellowing down to pity, and he curbed the horse into a standstill. To cast a look at Kalilah who'd been raised back into Zuleika’s consoling arms, not calming down no matter what the woman did or said. Causing the man to realize Kalilah probably to be the most distraught out of them all, and that she’d been made so by seeing her mother to be taken away from her…Again.

Once more Balian hesitated, the sight of the child’s distress leaving him conflicted, but his ire was then completely taken over by only sorrow and compassion when Kalilah's eyes next looked up to him from across the yard. Her arms instantly extending towards him.

“Balian! Balian!” she called out to him, hopelessly, tears streaming down her tiny cheeks, Balian cringing at her so miserable tone. And taking note of this Almaric now came forth, stopping to claim the horse’s reins from his lord once more.

“Go my lord”, he urged, looking up to Balian persuasively. “You should take Kalilah inside, she got very frightened by the incident…And now her mother gone you're the only one who can soothe her.”

Balian closed his eyes, his frown deepening, until he then looked at Sofia’s scarf to which he was still clutching to. After a moment of further dithering him releasing a long sigh, dropping the reins reluctantly into Almaric’s awaiting hand. The man nodding in satisfaction as Balian next dropped from the saddle and walked straight over to Zuleika, picking up Kalilah and enveloped her into his own embrace. Instantly the girl grasping to him, series of desloate snivels making their way up her throat, causing his heart to ache.

“Momma has gone away! Momma has been taken away from Kalilah!” she bawled against Balian’s neck, Balian looking only sad as he then glanced at the trembling girl in his arms. Turning and heading for the front of the mansion where the hospitaler was still standing, them exchanging a remarkable look, the older making a slight nod.

“I shall stay”, he announced, surprising Balian, but he then only nodded back. Shifting his gaze away from the man before climbed up the few steps and ambled through the door, as his intention to take Kalilah to Sofia’s room. The hospitaler sending a pitying look after him.

There it had been again after a short moment’s absence...Woe, deep withing Balian’s eyes, the hospitaler sighing upon this regrettable discovery. For the sake of many praying that Sofia would remain safe while at the mercy of Guy de Lusignan…Who had more reasons than long harbored spite not to be so lenient when it came to her.


End file.
